One
My bare hands shook slightly against the cold as I fumbled for my lighter, snapping my thumb down several times against the ignitor before catching a flame. I blocked the wind with my other hand as I touched the flame against my Marlboro, inhaling deeply as the tobacco and flame met. No one would have guessed that a health conscious Nazi like myself would end up a chain-smoker, but no one knew the stress I was under constantly, every day. I exhaled with a sigh, the smoke and my breath intermingling and swirling above my head as I leaned against the old oak tree, waiting patiently as I did every morning.
My mother was completely ecstatic over me joining the yearbook committee, which conveniently held meetings every morning before class. At least, that's what I told her. I needed some sort of viable excuse for leaving the house early every morning. My step-father had raised an eyebrow curiously– he knew school extracurricular activities were never high on my social agenda– but didn't say anything. I'd kept up with the charade by randomly snapping candid family photos around the house, informing my family I needed the practice for the yearbook, and they seemed to take the bait. Well, my mother did. Richard only nibbled, but if my mother liked it, Richard liked it. He was so easy.
I pulled the Marlboro back up to my lips and inhaled again, peering up High Street in search of the black Ford Escape hybrid that always met me here. His wife hated it– despite her primness, she'd wanted Nick to get a pick-up truck. She liked her man– my man– to be 'manly'. But Nick knew how environmentally aware I was, and opted to get something that would satisfy me, not her. I was more than slightly overjoyed at his purchase, but vaguely wondered what kind of drama it had stirred up in the Prezzioso home.
At long last, I spotted the SUV making its way down the road. I took one last drag of my smoke before dropping it on the ground and stomping it out with the toe of my boot. As Nick pulled up to the curb, I flashed him a wink through the windshield before opening the passenger door.
"Hi, Mr. P.," I stated brightly, making sure to play the part of the babysitter in case any inhabitants of our small town were lurking about. We'd been safe so far, but it would only take one person to blow the roof off our affair.
"Hi, Dawn," Nick answered, his lips twisting up slightly into a grin. It was funny– almost like role playing. I hadn't called him Mr. P. in forever, even before the relationship began five months ago. Sometimes– like this morning– it was nearly impossible not to leap across the vehicle and smother his lips with my own, but if I wanted the relationship to stay in tact, we had to play it right.
"Need a ride to school?" Nick continued as I slid into the passenger seat. I slammed the door shut and wiggled my eyebrows playfully at him.
"I need a ride, all right," I teased, slipping my hand across the console and resting it against his thigh– about all I could do until we parked at our secret spot. It was the one thing about the relationship I absolutely hated– the secrecy. Nick was so fabulous, I wanted to scream out our my love for Nick from the rooftops. But I couldn't– and I suppose it was just a small price to pay for being with him, something I wouldn't ever change, despite the circumstances.
Nick laughed and laced his fingers through mine. "Brat," he murmured, flashing me my favorite smile and squeezing my hand. I rubbed my thumb against his as we drove in silence– it was times like this when we felt like an actual couple– and if I didn't look behind me and see a car-seat in the back, I could truly believe we were a real couple.
We drove past the train station and Nick signaled left, pulling into a gravel parking lot adjacent to the station. It was somewhat of a storage area for the station– a few derailed trains were parked here, most the recipients of vandalism. It was private enough that no one could see his car, even if they'd been looking. It was the perfect spot for our morning make-out session, our breakfast– definitely the most important meal of the day.
Nick turned the car off and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me as close to him as the console would let us. He kissed my lips gently before smiling against them and opening his eyes to look at me.
"Anyone ever tell you you're sort of pretty?" he teased. It was one of our many running jokes– we had more inside jokes than most couples who'd been together for years– definitely more than Nick and his uptight wife had. She didn't appreciate his whimsical sense of humor the way I did. If he'd cracked that joke to her, she would have been infuriated. But with Nick and I, it was all in good fun. He knew that I knew he thought I was beautiful– he told me every day.
"And you're boy-pretty," I teased back, pressing my lips against his again. We stayed lip-locked for as long as we could, until Nick's cell phone beeped out an alarm, reminding him it was time to drop me off and get on with being the provider to his family. I hated that alarm with all my heart. I wished for just one day, he didn't have to be a father and a husband. He could just be mine.
"I have a surprise for you," Nick said suddenly, grinning sideways at me. I raised my eyebrow inquisitively– Nick always had great surprises for me, but more often than not, they fell through. I tried not to be disappointed when a planned weekend away couldn't happen, but it was hard not to. I'd learned quickly over the past few months to not get my hopes up, so when something amazing really did happen, it was easier to appreciate and enjoy it.
"I have a business meeting in Manhattan this weekend," Nick continued, the smile on his face growing. "All weekend. And Madeline and the girls aren't coming..." He trailed off and took his eyes off the road to offer me a beaming smile. I was not as convinced just yet.
"They're for sure not coming?" I asked hesitantly, remembering this past summer when Nick had bought tickets for us to go see Kings of Leon– which he conveniently hid in his sock drawer, easy access for his wife to discover. She didn't even know who the band was, but was elated to have a weekend alone with her husband. My weekend. My concert. My Nick. I was still bitter about it.
Nick nodded proudly. "It just so happens that it's the same weekend as Mad's nephew's birthday. Tragic, isn't it?" he added sarcastically, reaching over and taking my hand in his. "She's taking the girls to Stamford for the party... and I suggested she make a weekend out of it since I won't be home anyway." He smiled again, looking extremely pleased with himself. His smile was infection, and I allowed a small grin to creep onto my face, though I was determined to not get my hopes up just yet.
"But... Nick, how am I supposed to escape for an entire weekend?" I asked him, furrowing my brow in thought. My mother may be absent-minded enough to not notice if I was gone for an entire weekend, but Richard and Mary Anne sure would– and Richard would never allow it, no matter what sort of excuse I could come up with.
Nick shrugged. "I don't know," he admitted, slowing the car down to a stop a few blocks from my school. He squeezed my hand reassuringly. "You'll think of something," he promised. "Rather than thinking about protons and neutrons, or sonnets and proses today, think of some great excuse to spend a weekend alone with me."
I bit my lip slightly. I'd hoped Nick had some ideas up his sleeve as to how I could escape to the city for a weekend as well. But, he'd done his part; I had to do my own part as well. It was a two-way street, this relationship with Nick and I, and he continuously reminded me how much he loved that about us. Give and take, not take and take. So I simply nodded and picked up my backpack from the floor.
"I'll think of something," I agreed, pressing my index and middle finger against my lips in our special goodbye before jumping out of the car and slamming the door behind me. I quickly darted through the Wilder's back yard and turned onto Burnt Hill Road, walking as though nothing was out of the ordinary this morning– like I always did.
I was deep in thought as I walked towards school that morning, racking my brain for any sort of excuse I could come up with to spend a couple nights in Manhattan that I didn't even hear the thudding footsteps running up behind me. As they stopped beside me and a heavy arm stretched across my shoulders, I jumped with shock.
Austin laughed. "A little jumpy this morning, huh babe?" he joked, pulling me closer and planting a wet kiss against my forehead.
I laughed– and was surprised by the nerves that seemed apparent in my chuckle– and nodded. "Yeah... I watched The Shining again last night," I told him, not a far stretch of the imagination, as I watch that movie at least once a month.
"Next time you watch something scary, let me come over and protect you," Austin told me, grinning as he leaned in for a better kiss this time. "That's my job... plus, you're awfully cute when you're scared..." he teased, dropping his arm from around my shoulder and gripping my hand
I smiled weakly as I felt the guilt in the pit of my stomach grow bigger and bigger– it had been growing by the second ever since Nick and I started seeing one another. Austin had been in my life since sophomore year and was the boyfriend girls fantasized about– and, unfortunately for him, I was anything but the girlfriend he deserved.