Cast in order of appearance: Wrath, Al, Ed, Envy, Lust, Sloth

Christmas time approaching for FMA characters

Part one: The terrible red-nosed reindeer

Wrath talking to Al

Wrath: Ya know how they have those stories this time of year about the red-nosed reindeer?

Al: Yeah, 'course I do.

Wrath: Well I just can't stop thinking about how horrible it is.

Al: …?

Wrath: I mean sure his nose would be real good for dark roads and things, but that's no relief.

Al: What do you mean?

Wrath: I mean if you told a bald person his head was real useful for seeing on a road at night you'd just get clobbered! Santa sure says some mean things….

Al: I-… I guess so….

Wrath: But the Reindeer's also got its own issues!

Al: …Really?

Wrath: What kind'a nose does he have that lights up the road at night?! And where'd he get it from?! I demand to know!

Al: C-calm down!

Wrath: I bet he stole it! Or….

Al: Or what?

Wrath: Maybe it that he's not a reindeer at all! ………… I bet… I bet he's… something… else….

Al: *nervous laugh* Heh-heh….

Part two: The amazing Santa

Al still talking to Wrath across the room about the terrible red-nosed reindeer

Envy (to Ed): Hey, you think your brother still believes in Santa?

Ed: I-… I don't know, I've never asked him.

Envy: Well one way to find out! *runs over to Al* Hey Al! Are you one of those people that still believe in Santa?!

Ed: *mortified*

Runs over and grabs Envy by the hair pulling him away

Ed: What're you doing?!

Envy: Asking!

Ed: And what're ya gonna do if he does believe?! Huh?! You can't just go crushing his hopes and dreams!

Envy: Well then how were you gonna explain it to him?!

Ed: Explain?

Envy: For example, what if he wants to know where the money for presents comes from?

Ed: Uh… well…. G-government! The government pays Santa!

Envy: And not everybody has a chimney.

Ed: Don't underestimate him! Santa's got awesome lock picking skills! He'll open anything!

Envy: So how does he get to all the houses?

Ed: He's fast! Tremendously fast! Like Mach 100!!!!

Envy: Right, no human could do that!

Ed: What're you saying?! That Santa's really a homunculus?!

Envy: No, like a spaceman!

Ed: Or a mole man!

Envy: Could be he's an alien!

Ed: Like Ling?!

Envy: Exactly!

Al approaches

Al: You guys, it's okay, I already know.

Ed and Envy: What?!

Ed: So Santa's a spaceman?!

Envy: Or is he a mole man?!

Al: No, that Mr. Santa's really our father.

Envy: … *twitch* Why does this keep happening to me?!

Ed: Our father?

Ed tries to imagine Hohenheim in Santa suit: fail.

Ed: Why would you say that?

Al: Because I saw him putting presents under our tree when I was little.

Ed: That liar! He told me I was just dreaming!

Envy (pounding on desk): WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!

Wrath: *blank stare*

Theatre of Wrath's mind:

Hohenheim (wearing Santa hat): Merry Christmas!

Hands Al a Christmas present

Al: Thank you so much! Hooray! My father is Mr. Santa!

Hohenheim: That's right! The government pays me to buy gifts for everyone in the world!

Al: Amazing!

Hohenheim: Plus! I can fly at Mach 100!

Al: Amazing! Amazing!

Curtains close

Part three: Secret Santa

Ed looks at paper and scratches head

Paper: Secret Santa/ Getting something for Envy

Ed: If it was anyone else besides Envy this'd be easy…. Envy!

Envy (daydreaming): Huh? What's up Pipsqueak?

Ed: *rage* ………. If you could have anything for Christmas what would it be?

Envy: Anything? Like anything at all?

Ed: Yeah.

Envy: Even like a hundred trillion bucks?

Ed: … Maybe something a little bit more realistic?

Envy: Realistic? If you haven't noticed I'm a homunculus, I don't think the rules of realism apply to me.

Ed: ….

Envy: … Then how realistic are we talking? Is ten million low enough?

Ed: …. Uh…well I guess if you're gonna ask for a price….

Wrath: What're you talking about?

Ed: So what do you want for Christmas Wrath?

Wrath: … Let me think…. Oh! You know the big tree in front of Central's train station?

Envy: Yeah, the one Pipsqueak's brother walked into the other day.

Al (out of shot): It was an accident!

Wrath: That's the one! I'd really like the pretty, sparkly, gold star on the very, very tippity top of it! I've always wanted something like that! So I can remember that warm and fuzzy feeling of Christmas all year round!

Envy: …?

Ed: You see Envy, this is what we call a pure and unadulterated young mind.

Envy: *sigh* … Santa's not real!!!

Wrath: But I thought he was Hohenheim!

Envy: Lies! All lies!!! MWAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!

Wrath begins crying while Envy points and laughs

Ed: *sigh* *walks away*

Part four: Reindeer do Exist!

Ed and Al sitting with Envy doing nothing in particular

Wrath approaches

Wrath: … Might I ask you something?

Al: What's with being so formal?

Wrath: *snap* I know Santa doesn't exist, but reindeer do exist! Right?!

Ed: ….

Al: ….

Envy: … HA! This kid still believes in reindeer!

Al: …?

Ed: … Reindeer do exist.

Envy: Flying deer do not exist, Pipsqueak! You're trying to trick me! But I'm not falling for it! HA!

Ed: … Okay he's confused.

Envy: You liar! HA!

Envy runs to Lust

Envy: Hey Lust! Do reindeer exist?!

Lust: They do.

Envy: Huh?!

Runs to Sloth

Envy: Sloth! Do reindeer exist?!

Sloth: Yep.

Envy: W-what?!

Al draws a small reindeer

Ed: Reindeer do exist.

Al: They can't fly, but they look like this one right here.

Holds up drawing

Ed: Deer and reindeer are two different things.

Envy: … W-WHAT THE HECK?!!!! I'M NOT STUPID!!!!!!

Okay I know it's a little bit early for Christmas, but I just couldn't let this idea go by, so here we are! Christmas in September!

Now, a lot of people have told me they want to see a Disney movie, something like Bolt of New Groove? Let me know! And please review!!!! Reviews are better than ice-cream!!!