DISCLAIMER: The setting and characters belong to CBS, a production company or two, and pretty much anyone who isn't me; I do this for fun and not profit and I only really own Sam and Ellie. Well, that and a new addiction to 'Moonlight'. ;O)
'Thoughts'
"Speech"
Summary: Sam gets a visitor and Josef wants to go on a field trip. Q: could Sam's life get any more complicated? A: you bet!
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COMPLICATIONS
Chapter Nine – Visits
It was a few weeks later that things took another turn; in a way Sam would later reflect that with all the turns her life had been taking she wouldn't be blamed for getting dizzy.
Josef's attitude had been distant to say the least, in fact he tried to avoid her where possible. She felt hurt but, as Mick tried to be there a lot more now when she had one to one meetings with her moody boss to alleviate both the mood and the atmosphere, she endeavored not to let her feelings show and instead returned to her old professionalism.
However, neither she nor Mick could ignore the way that Josef point blank refused to actually look at her. Sam thought it was because he was embarrassed about his outburst; Mick wondered if it was something else.
Whatever the reason they had all fallen into an uneasy truce; Mick didn't know what he could do to put things right, Sam didn't see why he had to bother, and Fred just loped around the outside of the little group and tried to be there for Sam when the tears would fall at the unfairness of life.
Sam genuinely liked Josef, and she couldn't see why they just couldn't all go to back to how things had been; Fred didn't have the heart to tell her that would never happen. Vampires rarely retraced their steps; it was too painful.
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It was Friday night when the bell rang, and she wondered if Mick had dropped by as she'd had a cold all week and she knew her friend was concerned; Josef on the other hand had seemed indifferent to her sneezing, snotty, slightly feverish look.
Fred had already popped in – greeted ecstatically by a happy Ellie who always seemed to be out or in bed lately when he called. Neither Sam nor Fred enlightened her as to why his visits had really been for her aunt's benefit and, if the child noticed Sam's dark circles and haunted eyes, she didn't mention it.
However, Sam now acknowledged that as the infamous bell had been used it was unlikely to be Mick…or Josef. With a sigh she went to the door; Ellie was in bed, and so she opened it a little cautiously "Hello?"
Avery attractive woman stood in the hall; she was tall and willowy, with jet black hair………and Sam recognized her instantly. "Would you like to come in Coraline?"
If the woman was surprised that Sam knew her name, she never showed it. Smiling briefly, Coraline stepped past her and into the apartment "thank you" she murmured.
"No problem. Mick's not here." She followed the vampire into the living room, on her guard, as she watched her survey the little apartment.
"You get right to the point, don't you?" dark eyes finally swung to her, amusement in their depths.
Sam smiled thinly "no point beating around the bush is there? You might have eternity, but I sure don't."
Coraline chuckled "I can see why Josef likes you and…Mick" the last was admittedly reluctantly "you have a smart mouth."
Sam flinched at the mention of the two male vampires who were complicating her life immensely recently, and changed the subject "what can I do for you?" she gestured to a seat and Coraline acquiesced gracefully.
"I merely wonder who you'll choose. My curiosity got the better of me" a delicate shoulder shrugged slightly "I found I couldn't work it out and so decided to ask you."
Sam's brow furrowed "who I'll choose, what are you talking about?"
Coraline smiled "you really don't get it do you?" Sam just stared blankly "oh well, I'm not going into it if I don't have to…" she hesitated "it's just….Mick….."
Finally light dawned "oh I see, you want to know if Mick and I….." Sam twirled a finger in the air "no, we're friends Coraline so don't feel you need to bite me."
The female vampire pouted slightly "someone's been telling tales out of school; I can bet it wasn't Mick, so that really only leaves Josef." She sighed theatrically "I only threatenedto bite her; I didn't actually do it. How was I to know she was such a wimp?"
Sam shook her head "you can understand scent right? Fear smells, I remember my brother telling me. Apparently it's the strongest odour a human can exude next to sexual excitement and the smell of death. You would definitelyhave known you were freaking her out."
"Are you angry?" Coraline grinned suddenly "you don't sound angry."
"No, I'm not – how can I be, I didn't know the woman. All I do know is that her leaving hurt Mick a lot. That's not on, in my book – okay, so she wanted to leave, the least she could've done was left him a note. But no, she just vanished – that's not only unfair, it's…..cruel."
Coraline looked at the woman before her with a little respect "you don't blame me?"
"I think what you did was wrong, but shewas the one that ran." Sam sighed "if you care, you don't run. I loved my brother very, very much; when he was turned, he was still my brother and I still loved him. The situation frightened me half to death to begin with, but I got on with it because to not deal with it would mean leaving him behind. I couldn't do that, not ever."
"You've got a code" Coraline nodded "not many humans have those these days."
"I don't have a code, not really. I just like to think I play fair, that's all. I don't like calling myself human either; I'm a mortal, you're an immortal. If I say human about me, then I have to say you're inhuman…..that's not right either."
"Don't you think I'm inhuman; after what I did to Mick?" Coraline was clearly intrigued with this little female opposite her; she'd never met such a feisty human.
"I think you should've laid your cards on the table, so to speak – let him have options. But I also think that there were many men who would've loved to live forever regardless of the consequences; you just picked one who didn't." Sam shook her head "sometimes a choice is all we need Coraline; a chance to choose our own destiny. Not many of us get that luxury."
"Haven't you? You seem to have a nice life."
"No I haven't had that luxury. I've been playing a surrogate parent to my niece since she was three; I've had to deal with the fact that my brother, sister in law, family friend and numerous other friends are all vampires – and recently added my bosses to that list. I have to walk a veryfine line between 'normal', whatever the hell that is, and 'vampire central'; which my apartment seems to have become.
One of my bosses seems to have had some sort of emotional……thinggoing on" she waved a hand around in exasperation "which he seems to think is all myfault because, apparently, I drive him crazy." She gazed disbelievingly at the vampire "at least that was what he said the last time he spoke to me about anything other than work.
My other boss seems to feel he can fix it though; because, let's face it, he thinks he can fix everything. But Heaven help us if he doesn't; because he wants to fix the world, God knows why, as it's going to hell in a handcart."
Coraline chuckled and Sam stared at her "I'm sorry, it's just….the way you explain it is so funny."
Sam smiled ruefully "I know, Fred says the same thing. He says I should do stand up. I said why? Josef would just toss stuff at me and say it was my fault as I was rubbish, and Mick would feel the need to defend my honour."
At this Coraline laughed out loud; the woman opposite had both men down to a tee. "You're a good judge of character Sam."
"What's to judge? They're both so obvious, it's not even funny."
"So what are you going to do – about your life I mean?" Coraline gestured around the small apartment.
"I don't know…I honestly don't. I got Ellie though and that's all that really matters." Suddenly her clear, deep blue eyes rested on the female opposite "you love him very much don't you?"
Tears welled up for Coraline as quickly as the laughter had "yes…but that's gone now, I had my chance and I blew it. He makes me crazy……"
Sam shuddered; at first Coraline was about to be angry and then realized why the woman had done so "oh not like you and Josef – it's worse than that, he actually makes me a little insane. He says we're not good for each other, but I just can't seem to walk away."
Sam nodded "I hate all the old chestnuts people trot out – "if you love them, set them free?" Why,seriously, why would you do that? If you love someone, you don't want them to leave you, do you? My grandfather used to say it meant let them have some freedom so they can realize they still want you. But what if they decide that being as far away from you as physically possible is what they want - are you supposed to do a happy dance as they disappear in a cloud of dust?" Coraline smiled and shrugged.
"Another one that makes me want to kill is "better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." How would they know; why would you want all the agony of a lost love, rather than the blessed ignorance of that pain?" Sam smiled smugly all of a sudden, the remembrance of a long past conversation flitting across her mind "even my grandfather couldn't answer thatone."
Coraline nodded "my personal pet hate is "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."
Sam rolled her eyes "oh I hatethat one – I heard thatso often when my brother died. Eventually I would turn round and say "n-o, what doesn't kill me, better to be able to run faster than I can."
Coraline laughed "you're very funny."
Sam pulled a face "Josef says I'm very sarcastic, that I have too smart a mouth and Mick just says one day his friend will have my heart. I said not if I take his first."
Coraline nodded, an enigmatic look on her face "it could happen, my money's on you being the victor." She leant forward "don't you ever want to turn?"
Sam bit her lip, knowing what the other woman was talking about "I wondered, you know when Jamie opted for it – but I've got Ellie to think of. Besides it must get incredibly boring to live forever, every mundane task repeatedly endlessly for eternity."
Sam wiped her nose and smiled ruefully at Coraline "though right now, to know I'll never have another cold….well, it's tempting. To know I'll never again have a nose so red that Rudolph worries about redundancy; a sore throat that makes my voice so deep that callers on the phone ask for 'Ms Lewis' and sound deeply shocked when I tell them I'm speaking.
To not wander around with the largest carton of tissues I can find almost surgically attached to my hand or, worse, a tissue stuffed up my nostrils like a plug because my nose doesn't stop running and I'm tired of constantly wiping it; and not giving a damn what it must look like as my nose is so sore. To eat and be able to tell, by taste and smell alone, that I am not eating wallpaper paste and cardboard but lasagna and salad. At times like these Coraline I am indeed tempted to say "bite me."
By now the female vampire was almost helpless with laughter; straightening and wiping her eyes she nodded at Sam "you're a good person Samantha. Most wouldn't have even let me cross the threshold, and yet hear you are making me laugh in a way I haven't been able to for decades."
"Not good, Coraline, merely amusing." Sam grinned at her.
The vampire rose to leave "I think we could be friends Sam; if you'd permit it."
"Of course." Sam smiled "we women have got to stick together – whether vampire or mortal; safety in numbers and all that."
Coraline chuckled again as Sam touched her arm "but think about Mick; either lay it out straight for him, or let him go – either way you need to move on. I often wonder why vampires never go back."
Coraline looked enquiringly at her but said nothing; Sam continued "it's because they can't – they can't see their friends and family aging, dying, moving on without them. You should've done that with Mick when it didn't work, let you both move on; but you broke the rules and now you're paying for it."
"What would you do?" the vampire stared at her, knowing Sam wouldn't pull any punches.
"I'd let him go. He never talks of you Coraline; all I found out about you I got from Josef. I don't want to be hurtful, but you drive Mick crazy – you were an obsession for him full as much as he was for you, and that's not healthy; it's definitely not love….not the forever kind, and you guys have to have that sort of love."
Coraline nodded, ignoring the sympathetic look "I'll take it under advisement." She looked back at Sam as she entered the hallway "I've suffered for him, suffered in ways I don't think even he knows – I'll see" she shrugged "maybe you're right."
Sam smiled and closed the door; only then allowing herself to take a deep breath. She felt like she'd been locked in a room with a tiger; a very attractive, very smiley tiger – the only trouble with smiley tigers was you could see all their teeth……
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Outside the building Coraline sense someone near; taking a deep breath to breathe in the scent, she realized it was Josef. She shook her head sadly; Sam was wrong in one thing, there was another scent that was as strong as those she'd mentioned……loneliness. Sadly her ex-husband's friend reeked of it.
Still that was his problem; she glanced up at the building, quickly assessing which window was Sam's. She smiled as she walked away; there was a woman with guts. She'd sensed her fear, it was difficult not to, but she'd also sensed the truth behind what she'd said and the air of defensiveness too. Sam would defend Mick and Josef to the last, as well her niece and anyone she basically had feelings for, even a friend. Coraline shook her head, she might have a smart mouth but she had a good heart – she might call back…..she just might…..
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Josef jumped nimbly down from the fire escape; he hadn't intended to come here, but his wanderings had brought him here most evenings recently. It was ridiculous; he'd not been able to sleep and so would decide a walk might help. Before he knew it he'd be on Sam's street.
As soon as he'd seen Coraline he was concerned; if she thought Sam was some kind of rival, not that he thought that was even possible, but if Coraline did then Sam was toast. So he made sure to be on her fire escape to burst in and protect her, to save her, to……..well, do nothing as it turned out.
He'd been surprised at the way she'd handled Mick's ex; he'd remembered how Beth had dealt with the vampire, totally jealous and then totally freaked. Sam had been neither, at least not to her face, and he felt a lot of pride about that. She had guts; something Beth didn't it seemed, not when it came down to the wire anyway. He smiled humorlessly at his pun, 'Buzzwire' being the station that Beth had worked for.
He'd heard the conversation between the two women in the apartment; in a way he felt sorry for Coraline. She loved Mick deeply, but it was a scary love. Mick was a basic guy; down to earth, easy-going, bit of a hero complex and a vampire but still basic. He didn't do mad, obsessive love; it scared him, shescared him.
Sadly it seemed Coraline didn't get that, but hopefully some of what Sam had said would sink in. Sam was basic and down to earth too, okay she had a deceased vampire brother and sister in law, some her closest friends were vampires as well as her bosses, but still she was like Mick…
She got Mick; they got on reallywell. She made him laugh and they joked about, not to mention that Ellie adored him. He growled, suddenly jealous at the way Mick got on with her so easily, slotted into her life so easily. Whereas he could only pace round the outside like some kind of wild animal shut in a cage.
She never looked at him the way she looked at Mick, all friendly and warm….okay, maybe sometimes she did; but she looked at Mick like that most of the time. She never looked at Mick like she wanted to kill him, her hands never curled into twitching fists with Mick. She had never, to his knowledge, ever kicked Mick as she'd done to him more than once.
No, she did all these things with him;he got the dirty looks, he got the twitchy fist thing, he got the bruised shins. He growled again and strode up the stairs to confront her…….and then straight back down again. Her worried what he'd do if he saw her alone……
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The next morning Archie stood at Sam's door. Archie was Josef's driver; he was 6' 3", very muscular and a force to be reckoned with. However he had to take a deep breath before he knocked on Sam's door. "She might be a little woman" he'd tell his laughing wife "but she's sure got a big temper!"
Sam opened the door a little bleary-eyed; it was six am and she was still somewhat snotty, so hadn't slept all that well. Archie felt sorry for her, but more sorry for himself at being the one forced to fetch her "hey Archie, what's up?" her eyes suddenly widened "Shirley's not had the baby yet has she?"
Archie's face lit up "no, no – she's fine Sam; got another month to go before my first little baby comes into this world" he cleared his throat "He says to say you're going to New York with him to meet a friend."
"He,who; who says?" Sam was trying to play catch up, but losing; her brain still too stuffed with tissues and germs.
"Mr Josef; he said to come fetch you while he waits in the car." His tone was apologetic.
As predicted Sam's temper roared into life, not slowed down at all by her cold "well, he's got a long damn wait then, hasn't he? Because I'm not going anywhere with him."
She started counting of on her fingers in an angry whisper "one – it's Saturday, I'm off the damn clock! Two – it's six AM, for God's sake! Three- what the hell am I supposed to do with my niece, while we gad about on this field trip he's dreamt up because he's bored?"
Grabbing Archie by the lapel of his uniform she dragged him into her apartment "he's hardly spoken to me all week, did you know that?" Archie shook his head; he did actually, Ania had told him, but he decided to keep his mouth shut. Ania had been angry for her friend telling him it was "Not Right."
"Well, he hasn't; and, what's worse, he couldn't even lookat me either! Now, suddenly, he's bored and what's to go gallivanting who knows where…."
"New York."
"For who knows what…."
"To meet a friend."
"Well, he can just go on his bloody own!" Sam was in full rant now and Archie's interruptions fell on deaf ears as she hustled him back to the door "I mean look at you, six am on a Saturday morning and where are you?"
"Here?" the driver offered hopefully.
"Ex-actly, pre-cisely – here; here instead of tucked up in bed with your lovely pregnant wife!"
"I'll tell him you're not going then, shall I?" Archie was just keen to make a break for it.
"You bet your butt you do; you tell him………!" she whispered something in his ear that, even with his dark skin, made the blush visible and then slammed her door. Archie sighed with relief, only to stiffen as it opened again "oh and say hi to Shirley for me, and tell her I'll be at the baby shower next week." The door shut again.
Archie stood, perfectly still and waited…..but she didn't come back. He sighed with heartfelt relief this time and headed back down the stairs. Man, that woman could blow hot and cold damn quick – one minute boiling mad, the next calm and friendly. He shook his head, no wonder she was single – no normal man could deal with that!
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When he got back to the car, the rear window slid gracefully down "well? Where is she?"
Archie took a deep breath "she's not coming Mr Konstantin." He decided to tone down what Sam had said….particularly that last part. "She don't think she can get a babysitter at this time of the morning and she still has that cold too."
Josef frowned behind his dark glasses "didn't you tell her she could bring the monster as well?"
"Well…." Archie sighed "I didn't really get the chance; but then don't forget she's got the cat and dog to think of."
"God the woman has more damn baggage than Queen Victoria!" he growled and Archie stepped back; for him it was like being caught between two wolves squaring up for a fight – he just didn't want to get bit…….he wasn't sure his rabies jabs were up to date.
"Fine!" he snatched his cellphone and punched a speed dial "Ania? Good, make sure you or one of the secretaries comes over to Sam's to feed her animals….oh and walk them. What? No, not the cat, obviously not the damn cat; even I know you don't walk a cat."
He thought for a second "in fact don't let the cat get out; watch it at all times because from what I've heard she should've called the thing Houdini. If the cat should escape…..well, there will be nowhere any of us can run where she won't toast us.
What? No, she's fine; I'm going to New York and need her with me – no, the mon….child is coming with us. Key? Mick will have one; Mick St. John" He rattled off Mick's number "Got it? Good." He snapped the phone shut "done; she can't argue now, can she?"
Archie smiled with his teeth, but his eyes remained disbelieving as he thought 'oh yes she could; that lady would argue with God if she thought she was right.' Out loud he said "probably not sir, no."
"Probably not?"
"Well this is Sam we're talking about……." Archie tailed off meaningfully.
Josef's brow furrowed thoughtfully "oh yeah, right….."
Both men looked up at her window as Josef plotted his next move.