Double update because I don't have time to keep you on tenterhooks. Flight in 23 hours and 15 minutes. Oh God....

And, finally, here's Loki. Sorry you had to wait, Kit.

Ilex-ferox is an awesome beta.

January 10th, 2011, The Air Above Immingham, South Humberside, England

'Unfortunately,' Artemis explained as the Lear left Humberside Airport and headed once more towards London, 'I have no idea what name Loki is hiding under in London. For lack of a better lead, I'm suggesting we go back to Heyer's and search Freya's files for an address book of some sort. If that fails, we could always go for a more heavy-handed approach and ... confront her.'

Unconsciously, Holly shivered at the thought of his plans for a "confrontation". There were times when she was very, very glad they were no longer enemies.

'That's all well and good,' Butler spoke from the pilot's seat, 'but before this goes any further, I believe it's high time we all got a little sleep. I've booked rooms at Claridge's again.'

Artemis frowned at his manservant's presumption. 'That may be so, Butler, however-'

'I must have forgotten to mention,' Butler interrupted his charge, 'that this isn't optional. You sleep or we go nowhere, Artemis.'

Artemis opened his mouth to respond but a yawn escaped him, effectively ending any rebuttal. Recognizing a lost cause when he saw one, he turned towards the window and sulked.

'Besides,' Butler grinned, 'I may be old, but I'm still up to locking the three of you in a closet.'

Holly and Artemis looked back at Mulch, placidly eating a carrot in the cabin. Simultaneously, they shuddered.

January 11th, 2011, Claridge's Hotel, London, England

As it turned out, Artemis slept for a solid twenty-four hours. Holly managed twenty-six. In fairness, she hadn't slept properly since leaving Haven nearly a week ago.

The last to rise, Holly found her roommates at breakfast as she blearily stumbled into the suite's living room. 'What time is it?' she asked around an enormous yawn.

'Eight thirty a.m.,' Butler answered, 'on Tuesday.'

'WHAT?' Holly gaped.

'Well, I hate to say I told you so,' Butler smirked, 'but you were tired.'

'Right. Rub it in, rub it in.'

'I get so few opportunities,' Butler shrugged.

January 11th, 2011, The Portobello Road, London, England

The Portobello Road was still grey, drizzly and full of tourists. Holly found that vaguely comforting.

'I have a question for you, Holly,' Butler turned to the elf as he parked the car. 'I thought fairies only lived above ground in exile without their magic, but there seem to be plenty of them running around above ground right now.'

Holly laughed. 'Well, a lot of the richer or more influential fairies have got ... I guess you could call it a double live, on the surface. They wangle themselves a visa and then vanish for a couple of months. It's a pretty long standing tradition and the LEP doesn't have the manpower or the political clout to really do much about it. We just have to turn a more or less blind eye. It's a select few who manage to pull it off and they've been doing it for centuries.'

'That must be frustrating.'

'It is.'

'But what about the sun? Or being seen? Freya sent Lili off on that train like it was nothing new.'

'Lili was probably invisible for the journey, or dressed up like a kid. As for the sun, why do you think the UK and, especially, Ireland have so many stories about us? Because, when we go above ground, this is where we like to spend our time more than anywhere else. And that's because, even at midday in August, you're likely to have overcast skies and rain.' She grinned at Butler, 'No sun to bother us here. In Ireland it's even better. Someone catches sight of a pointy ear and nobody thinks twice. Well,' she looked over at Artemis, 'nearly nobody.'

'Still,' Mulch looked uneasily at the sky, 'there's always the chance the sun could poke through...' he trailed off muttering, 'Any minute now,' under his breath.

'Then we'd better be quick about this, hadn't we?' Holly asked him.

The antique shop was just as cluttered, dusty and devoid of life as it had ever been.

'Hello?' called Butler. No answer. Then again, they hadn't really been expecting one.

Without further ado, the four investigators trouped up the back stairs, heading towards the office.

'Do you think she ever gets customers?' Holly asked no one in particular.

'Who'd want to buy something out of this junk heap when the Portobello Road's right round the corner? Most of the stuff downstairs is fake, anyway.' Mulch jimmied the lock on the filing cabinet with an unimpressed tut.

'So's the stuff on the road,' Holly pointed out.

'More fun to shop in though.'

'Fair enough.'

Silence descended as they sifted through Freya's papers.

'Hmm, I believe I may have found something,' Artemis spoke from where he knelt by the door, going through a drawer of bank statements.

Click.

His companions looked over to him in time to see Freya fizzle into the visible spectrum, a shiny black revolver pointed at Artemis' head.

'Hello,' said Freya. When no one spoke, she shrugged and continued. 'Now, some of you look sort of familiar, but jog my memory, ducky, who exactly are you?' she looked down questioningly at Artemis.

'My name is Artemis Fowl,' he said.

Freya looked positively gleeful. 'Fowl! Oh this is too precious. You must be Captain Short, my cover story.' She raised her lip in Mulch's direction, 'I'm not sure I want to who you are but, my, who is the terribly attractive genetics experiment?' Freya smiled widely at Butler.

'Er, that's Butler, and the dwarf is Mulch Diggums.' Holly edged her way around the desk as Butler did the same in the other direction. 'Freya, that's a human gun, it's not like ours, it'll ki-'

'Kill him. Yes, I know. So you two had better stop moving and be good, hadn't you?' She nudged Artemis with the tip of the gun before turning to eye Butler. After giving him a very appreciative once-over, she asked him, her voice layered with mesmer, 'And just what, Mr. Butler, are the four of you doing in my office? Don't worry, you can tell Freya.'

Butler would clearly rather have eaten sewage but, as his consciousness succumbed, only managed to a grunt and twitching eyelid.

'Oh pet, please don't. That twitching is not at all attractive. Stop that.'

Butler's eyelid lay still as he answered the question. 'Looking for Loki's address.'

'Looking for- why?'

'Because we're trying to find out who stole Brísingamen.'

'Ah,' Freya looked down at Artemis, 'helping your little friend clear her name, are you? How chivalrous.'

Artemis looked faintly insulted.

'Well, I'm afraid I just can't let you do that.' She prodded Artemis with the tip of her gun. 'Be a good boy and go sit with your friends against the desk. I want you all where I can see you. That goes for you two, as well.'

As everyone reorganized themselves accordingly, Freya kept close to Artemis, gun trained on his forehead. 'Excellent. Now, before we move on to more important things, tell me, Mister Fowl, where on earth did you come by such a yummy – what is he? Bodyguard?'

Artemis looked distinctly ill at ease with the way Freya kept eyeing his manservant like a pastry. 'Family heirloom,' he said.

'Family-' Freya cocked an eyebrow at him. 'Think you're cute do you, Fowl?'

'Not really.'

'Good, because- hands out of your pockets!' Freya jerked her chin at Mulch, who slouched against the desk. With a shrug, the dwarf withdrew his hands from his trouser pockets and put them where she could see them.

'Really, Freya, I'm sure we could talk about this reasonably. This hostage situation is so uncouth,' Artemis wheedled.

'Ugh, you're telling me. Unfortunately, Mud Thing, I'm no match for either your butch groupie or your pretty pet gorilla, so hostage-taking is what I have been reduced to.'

'It must irk you: former royalty, once worshipped, and now what? You own a pawn shop? How the mighty are fallen,' Artemis shook his head sadly.

'Hold still!' Freya pressed the revolver against his skull. 'Why do you think I wanted to steal Brisingamen, anyway? With that necklace no-one can deny me anything. I'll be restored to my former glory. I need that necklace!' The elf sighed. 'You've no idea what it's like growing old, losing one's beauty, losing one's power. It's awful. Frond, my hair's so thin these days you couldn't even use it as mozzie netting. Is it so terrible to want to be beautiful again? Think about it, Mud Boy; when you're old and your brain is failing and you lose everything that once defined you and you are alone, what would you gamble to have it all back? To be your own master again?'

Artemis had no answer for her.

Disparagingly, she snorted. Turning her Mesmer-eyes on Butler, she said, 'Now, my lovely ape, there's duct tape in the desk, tie up the dwarf and Corporal Shifty.'

'Captain Short,' Holly glared.

'Whatever. Did you hear me, my big muddy darling? Tie them up!'

Butler was visibly fighting the hypnosis but, after a couple jerks of his head and hands, did as he was instructed. Neither Holly nor Mulch struggled as he looped their wrists with tape. They knew better than to fight Butler, especially with a gun at Artemis' head.

Unfortunately, that was when the doorbell rang.

Freya jerked, looking towards the office door.

'Hello? Anybody home?' A man's voice drifted up from the main floor.

'Loki!' Freya breathed.

There came the sound of muffled conversation and steps on the staircase.

'Amongst others,' Artemis noted, as Butler finished wrapping Holly's wrists in tape.

'Hello-o? Ms. Matthews? Ms. M- ah, there you are, my dove.' In the doorway stood a very short man. Or, seen another way, a very tall pixie.

'What are you doing here?' Freya glared at the intruder, 'And what is- Frond, you brought the Mud Men with you?'

Behind Loki there stood a gaggle of humans, led by Lord and Lady Doyle, all of whom looked thoroughly confused.

'I say, who is she calling "muddy"? And- my goodness, is that a gun? What on earth is going on here, Mr. Jotunn?'

'Loki, who are these idiots?' Freya ground out.

'I, Madam, am Lord Doyle, this is my wife, Lady Doyle, and these are our friends Mrs. Christie, Mr. De Mare, and Dr. Watson. I hired Mr. Jotunn to recover a piece of stolen property. However, the real question is: just who, exactly, are you? And what do you think you're doing waving that gun around in such an alarming manner? You do realise those things are dangerous?'

'Dangerous? Really? No, I had no idea,' Freya replied witheringly. 'Loki, what in Frond's name were you thinking? You stupid-'

'Oh, I don't know,' Loki replied, smiling lazily at the furious Freya, 'I think it's all quite funny, don't you?'

'Funny? Funny?' This seemed to send Freya over the edge. She waved the gun wildly at the newcomers, 'Alright, I want all of you in that corner there and no complaints. I will shoot anyone who steps out of line, do you understand? Butler, tie them up!'

Still weakly trying to fight his hypnosis, Butler lumbered over to the dumbfounded humans, shepherding them into the corner.

'Hey! Now wait a minute!' Doctor Watson tried in vain to pull her bony wrists out of Butler's massive hands as he moved to tape them together. 'Do you know what kind of chemicals are in that tape? It's terrible for your skin! I don't want-'

'I thought I said I'd shoot the next person who steps out of line.' Freya remarked casually.

'Oh, right.' Doctor Watson shrugged her thin shoulders. 'Sorry. Forgot.'

'Well you'd best not forget again, or-'

'Hey, wait a minute, is it just me or do half this lot have pointy ears? I must say it's odd enough stumbling across a room full of midgets but pointy eared ones, now that's a bit much. What's-'

Freya coughed. Lady Doyle elbowed her husband in the ribs. He shut up.

'Frond,' Holly whispered to Artemis, 'at the rate this is going, we're going to be here all week.'

'Auntie Freya! What are you doing?' An astonished Lili Frond came to an abrupt halt, having burst through the balcony door, four dwarves close on her heels.

'Getting herself into a lot of unnecessary trouble, my sweet,' Loki leered at Lili, giving her a casual once-over and waggling his plucked eyebrows. Behind the elf, Dvalina could be heard making retching sounds.

'Oh for the love of- what under the earth are you doing here, Lili?' Freya demanded.

'Would you look at that? She's got the pointy ears as well!'

'Conan, stop- wait a minute, Alfrigga? Dvalina? Is that you?' Irene Doyle attempted to get a better look at the new arrivals around the bulk that was Domovoi Butler.

'I could ask you the same thing.' Lili glared at her aunt, crossed her arms and huffed.

Alfirgga and Dvalina hid behind their sisters.

'What?' Freya frowned at her niece. Unnoticed, Loki fumbled with something inside his jacket.

'So this is a family 'do?' asked Mrs. Christie of no-one in particular.

'What I mean is that I had a bit of a think and went over to your flat to see if what I thought was true and, lo and behold, these four had come to the same conclusion. Turns out we got it right, look what we found in your safe.' Lili held up the fourth piece of Brísingamen. 'You've been lying to me all along, Auntie! You already had Brísingamen!'

There was a moment of silence, then everybody started talking at once.

'But that's-'

'Well, if that isn't the outside of enough-'

'Artemis, I thought you said it was Loki who-'

'Looks like even a child genius has to be wrong sometimes, eh, Mud-'

'Alfrigga, Dvalina, what does this-'

'Mr. Jotunn, what is going-'

'Quiet!' Freya put two rounds into the ceiling. 'I want all of you to be quiet!'

'I think it's time I explain what's going on, don't you, Freya?' Artemis spoke when at last everyone was quiet. The teen had been looking out of the window at the sky, frowning, but now he turned back to the assemble crowd and smiled. Recognising the signs of oncoming theatrics, Holly groaned, burying her face in her bound hands.

All heads turned to the Irish youth.

'You think you know what's going on, do you?' Freya asked.

'I believe so, yes.' Artemis hooked the wheeled desk chair with one foot, rolling it towards him. With studied nonchalance, he sat down. 'You don't mind if I sit, do you, my dear? It's rather a long story and standing for long periods always makes my knees hurt.'

Freya looked over at Holly who, with closed eyes, was pinching her nose and muttering under her breath. 'I'll give you one thing, Shanti, at least your little Mud Man has character.'

Holly cracked one eye open and glared at the other elf. 'It's Short,' she said.

'Like her temper,' Mulch supplied helpfully.

'As I was saying...' Artemis interrupted pointedly.

'Yes, let him get on with it, I'm very curious as to-' One look from Freya was enough to shut Conan up again.

Artemis steepled his fingers. 'Let's start from the beginning. Brísingamen is rediscovered and put into the safe-keeping of the Haven City Museum of Modern History. From there it-'

'Wait, sorry, the what Museum of Modern History? I've never heard of Haven City,' Doctor Watson interjected.

'No, and you won't ever again,' Artemis told her. 'From the museum,' he continued, over the doctor's protests, 'we know that in the early hours of the morning on January 3rd, Brísingamen was reputedly stolen in such as way as to make it look like Captain Short was the thief. However, unbeknownst to the actual criminal, Ho- Captain Short was lucky enough to run into her commander upon leaving the gym.'

Lili Frond groaned.

'Exactly,' Artemis said, smiling coldly down at her. 'They were eating a perfectly innocent meal of kelp suey while Lili Frond and, apparently, these four dwarves were scampering about the museum trying to steal the necklace. Not wanting to put the real perpetrator on guard, or further tarnish Captain Short's reputation, she was sent away to lie low until the thief could be caught. However,' Artemis' smile widened, coming at last to the crux of the matter, 'it wasn't there, was it, Lili? Someone had already stolen it, leaving a fake behind.'

'Yeah ...' Lili trailed off uncertainly, wondering how he could know this, 'It wasn't these girls though, we had it out in Auntie's flat. Turns out they only got to the display case after I had already stolen the fake.'

'Yes, I know that,' Artemis replied. 'Knowing that she was a prime suspect, your aunt sent you to do her dirty work for her, and cover her tracks. Even if the LEP managed to get past the false trail leading to Holly, they'd only get as far as you and your little escapade. But, of course, someone had to have planted the fake, didn't they?

Lili's big blue eyes got even bigger. 'Auntie planted the fake?' she whispered, incredulous, comprehension finally dawning.

There was a moment of pregnant silence.

'No,' said Artemis. 'Loki planted the fake.'

Loki snorted eloquently from the corner. 'Why on earth would I plant the fake? Why on earth would I want to steal Brísingamen at all? My darling boy, this isn't make-believe with your wee captain, you'll have to prove it.' He chuckled, 'What'll I be next, I wonder? Am I secretly Jack the Ripper as well?

Artemis looked thoughtful. 'Well, it's certainly a possibility, but I doubt it. Your sense of adventure doesn't quite run along those lines, I believe.' He flashed his incisors. 'As to proof, well, I'd had my suspicions from rather early on, after we had overheard the conversation between Lili and Freya concerning Lili's failed attempt at thievery. It was only strengthened when we heard the confusion between the dwarves as to just who, exactly, had broken the necklace into pieces. It seemed very fortuitous to me that Loki had managed, fortuitously, to get his hands on one of the pieces. Naturally, I did a bit of background research. Now, according to the records at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, they bought their portion of Brísingamen from one Freya Fòlkvangr. Naturally, I thought this was a bit too obvious so I made a call to an ... acquaintance who works there and inquired about Ms. Fòlkvangr. As it turned out, that wasn't quite correct. My contact was quite sympathetic to "the poor guy". Imagine, he said, having parents cruel enough to name their son after a goddess of fertility. I must say, I certainly agree.'

Holly snorted.

'Now, seeing as Freya had no reason to send Lili to steal Brísingamen a second time, nor make up a story about Loki giving her a piece of the necklace when she could simply admit to have stolen it herself, my conclusion was that she was just as much in the dark as the rest of us. Loki, on the other hand, was the only one to have been in possession, at some point, of all three recovered pieces. At least, I assume it was Mr. Jotunn who sold you your piece, Lord Doyle?'

'Er, yes, yes it was. That was why we enlisted him to help us hunt it down again. But-'

Artemis looked smug, continuing as though Doyle hadn't spoken, 'Therefore, it stood to reason that he was the only one who had ever been in possession of the original. He was very clever, I'll admit, in hiding the pieces in human museums and banks – because it was he that suggested you put your piece away in the bank for safe-keeping, wasn't it, Freya?'

'Yes,' Freya nodded, looking stricken.

'I thought so, that was much too smart for you to have thought of yourself,' Artemis nodded absently. Before Freya could realise she'd been insulted, he was already speaking again. 'This final piece was a bit of a long shot. He hadn't expected, of course, that his plans would go so dramatically awry. Half the pieces stolen within a week of each other? My, I do call that unlucky. He planted the final piece in Freya's house-safe, in case everything fell to pieces, as it seemed to be doing. He knew he would always be able to weasel it away from her but, if things fell apart before that, he could always cut his losses and run, leaving her to take the blame.'

'And why, after having apparently gone to so much trouble, would I let the last piece slip through my fingers? Why not hide it somewhere else, somewhere only I knew about?' Loki asked, one elbow propped casually against a filing cabinet and his cheek resting in his palm. With his other hand he twirled his thin moustache.

'Because I think you rather relished the idea of Freya being sent down for your crime. After all, you didn't need Brísingamen like she did. You didn't even particularly want it. You were bored and you saw an opportunity to create havoc. And that's what you do, isn't it, Loki? Create havoc.'

'How would you know?'

'Because I am ... of the same mindset,' Artemis grinned toothily.

'I say,' Doyle started up again, 'just who is this young Irish chappie? Some kind of amateur detective? Got it all quite nicely- oof!' Just how nicely Artemis had things sorted would forever remain a mystery as, at that moment, Loki elbowed Lord Doyle out of the way, grabbing Doctor Watson by the arm and putting a gun to her temple.

There was a collective groan from his audience.

'You're not serious,' Holly asked him. 'Another hostage? You'll never make it out of the-'

'Do shut up, darling,' Loki interrupted her. 'I'm afraid I've had just about enough of you and your pet monkey-'

'I am not-'

'I said quiet, Fowl, or you'll have this pretty doctor's brains all over your nice suit.'

Artemis made a deprecating sound in the back of his throat; though whether it was at the proposed damage to his suit or at Loki's clichéd dialogue, Holly wasn't sure.

'Now, I want you all to be very good and stay here – that includes you, you great ugly brute,' he jerked his chin at Butler, who had been trying to follow his gut instinct and protect the endangered woman. 'I am going now. I'll leave her at King's Cross, once I've got on a train. From then on, I'm sure I'll be quite ... invisible, wouldn't you say, sweetheart?' He winked at Holly. 'It's a pity you don't seem the co-operative type, or I would've taken you instead. We could've got on quite nicely, don't you think, my dove? Seeing as you have a thing for crooks already.'

Before Holly could move or Artemis could open his mouth, Lili was already there.

'Frond, you are such a pathetic old lech, Loki,' she told him.

'What?' Loki swung round to face her and got knocked to the floor.

There was a moment of silence. Then...

'Oh my Frond. Lili, did you just punch somebody?' Holly gaped.

Lili blushed. 'Well...' she began.

But that was when the Retrieval boys decided that enough was enough.