Her Choice

Summary: Oneshot. If he could go back in time, would he save her? Could he?

Disclaimer: Not mine. I'm just playing with them.

"Where would you go, John?" All ten eyes at the table turned to him at once.

Setting his sandwich down, he sat back in his chair and briefly glanced at each set. From the Doctor, to the Athosian, to the ex-Runner, to Rodney, the gazes he met were all the same open curiosity. Carter, however, gave him a different look. It was a look of sympathetic curiosity. One he fully understood.

This had been the very question he had been asking himself since he stepped foot on Atlantis, since he laid eyes on the type of technology that didn't even exist in science fiction yet.

If he could go back in time, where would he go? Would he change anything?

He had always wondered, would go back to that day? Would he prevent what happened? Would he save her?

Could he?

*Flashback*

John trudged his way through the rain towards his house. The bus roared behind him on its way to the next stop. He cursed it under his breath for making him walk so far. The bottom of his pants quickly soaked the cold rain water from the ground, wrapping around his ankles. As he stomped through his soggy yard he shifted his heavy backpack, laden with textbooks.

After fumbling to unlock the door he pushed the door wide open. He sighed as a gust of warm air reached out to embrace his wet, cold body. Stepping over the threshold an uncomfortable feeling settled in his gut.

Something was wrong.

He could feel it.

"Jenny…" he called out to the silent house. He dropped his books to the ground and glanced around the downstairs with frantic eyes. He didn't like the panic that was bubbling hot in his chest.

"Jenny!" he yelled as he rushed towards the stairs. Taking them two at a time he didn't even pay mind to the wide open door or his wet forgotten books.

As John laid his hand on the cool brass doorknob to her room, he desperately hoped the feeling in his gut was a false alarm. He hoped that he would swing open the door and come face to face with his moody teenage sister. Headphones in her ears, paying no mind to the homework spread across the floor. He wished she would turn on him with her wide green eyes and tell him off for entering her domain.

John blinked away the hot burn of tears as he swung open the door without a second thought.

He swallowed against his gag reflex as the hot metallic air assaulted his senses.

Blood.

"Jenny…" he called to the room softly, hating the way his voice cracked.

His feet carried him around the bed with a mind of their own, only stopping when they squished on wet carpet. He cringed at the sound knowing what he was going to see even before looking down.

To hell with his fathers words about men not crying. This was his baby sister.

Jenny lied on the blood soaked ground. Her back resting against the side of her bed while her head lobbed to one side at an odd angle. Both arms hung at her side with deep crimson slits straight up them. The cuts no longer pulsed with blood from her pumping heart; the blood didn't even continue to drain. It was already thickening and drying on her pale tan skin.

John screamed as he fell to his knees. Blood soaked through the material of his pants, staining his skin. He pulled her cooling body to his chest and cried into her soft hair.

He heard the thump of the knife hitting the floor and a slight rumple of paper. He didn't pay either any mind until he got himself under control.

Gently setting the body of his little sister down he picked up the blood stained paper. With shaking hands he opened it.

In familiar handwriting were the words,

I'm sorry John.

No reason, just a simple apology.

*Flashback*

"John," Teyla questioned gently from across the table.

Blinking John leaned back in his chair taking a bite of apple sauce.

"Sophomore year of High School, the school fair. There was a Ferris wheel. Amy Hinders and I got stuck on top for a bit. Come to find out later she had been hoping for a kiss."

John leaned back crossing his arms across his chest and smirked, "Boy I would love to have given that girl a chance."

The group rolled their eyes at the Colonel's humor, well most of the group. While the others stood to leave with a chorus of goodnights, Sam stayed behind.

John looked at her daring her start the conversation. She knew what had happened.

"Would you go back for her?" she asked softly.

John stood up and giving her a dark look mumbled, "She made her choice."