I don't own Twilight.

Edward

I can't believe I'm doing this.

I practically carried Bella out of Alice's apartment, everyone staring at us with various levels of amusement and shock on their faces. You'd think I was going to throw her against my hood and pound into her, I was so excited. Not my style, though, but neither are 16-year-olds. Her cheeks were bright red and the smile on her face was victorious, proud, so fucking sexy. We got into the car, and I realized we have a fucking hour on the road ahead of us. Next time, Cullen, think things through before throwing a girl into a car promising her her first kiss when you're an entire hour from your fucking destination. There won't be a next time, she's the girl. Ok, Romeo, enough with the dramatics. Talk to her. She hasn't said a word since you started talking about her pussy. She's probably terrified.

"Bella - "

"Edward, are you really going to make me wait until we get back to Forks?" she asks me.

Are you really going to make me wait until you're fucking seventeen?

"What do you propose we do, Bella?"

"Mmm, maybe just fucking kiss me already?"

Wow.

"In my car, that's special."

"For someone who is fairly intelligent, you really don't seem to get it," she tells me.

"Get it?" I ask, seeking clarification because I have no idea what she's talking about.

"It's not about where, Edward. It's about... ok, it's about just doing what we want to do when it feels right. If it doesn't, just tell - "

I interrupt her. "Shut up, Bella. Of course it does. I'm dying to kiss you, I just didn't want it to be somewhere random or awkward where people can walk in on us. We might as well wait until we're..."

We're what? She's right.

"Edward. Stop being annoying. This isn't the most conventional – relationship, for lack of a better word – that ever... existed. A lot of this is going to be weird, different, and hence inevitably 'special', so maybe, for my first kiss I want to do something completely... normal. Like, typical teen behavior. First kiss in a car, maybe not parked outside my house as Charlie watches from behind the curtains, because that's still an hour away and you'd end up dead. But first kiss in a car right after we left a party..."

She's looking at me with those big brown eyes and I think she's right. She's always right. She always makes sense. She's so much smarter than you, Cullen. So much wiser. Do what the girl wants. Just fucking kiss her.

"Bella, I think you've made an excellent point, but I want to institute a rule."

"Of course you do," she rolls her eyes at me.

"I'm in control," I smirk.

She leans in, her eyes open wide and she gives me a seductive smile, "Edward, you are always in control."

Yes. She's a liar. She's not sixteen. She's – she's… Look at that smile. Just how I manage not to grab her, pull her onto my lap and grind her onto my ridiculously hard cock ... we'll never know. Why are you hesitating, Cullen? Just fucking kiss her, and stop thinking about your cock.

Cock cock cock cock. Ugh.

"Bella, one kiss in the car," I tell her.

"Ughhh, I feel like I'm negotiating with my parents," she snaps. I laugh and she joins me. I take her hand and stare at her fingers. She opens her mouth to say something, and I can tell from her expression that I probably won't want to hear it.

"Shhh, baby. Be a good girl and come here," I tell her. Big, big eyes. Round, pretty face. What am I doing? Why won't I stop? How do I make this better? How do I make this okay? I think about saying something, quoting a favorite poet, making this really special, but Bella wants a typical, normal first kiss and that's what she's going to get in this car. I know she's expecting a long kiss, probably with tongue, you're officially twelve, but right now I just want to be innocent with her, like her.

Our faces are two inches apart, and I can feel her breathing, I feel the warmth emanating from her skin, she's blushing and it's both adorable and sexy at the same time. Right now, I'm seventeen again - note to self: never admit to Bella you saw that movie - and I'm going to kiss her like it's the first time for the both of us.

She's biting on her lower lip again, she's nervous, but this doesn't freak me out or make me hesitate. It's completely normal. I'm nervous too, my heart is about to explode in my chest. She moves her face closer to mine and our foreheads are touching. I remember fantasizing about this, I smile. Our noses touch, and she giggles.

I bring my hands up to her face to cup her cheeks with them, and breathe her in. I hate the cliché thoughts running through my head, oh she's perfect, this is so right, blah blah. We are anything but clichéd or ordinary. We are… Stop thinking, just kiss her, loser.

"Bella," I breathe.

She brings a tiny finger to my lips, staring into my eyes. I have this urge to bite it, but before I can bite it or move it away, the finger is replaced with two warm, full lips. So much for being in control, Cullen.

My lips part, instinctively, and so do hers. She cries into my mouth, like she's surprised. I pull away for a split second, and then kiss her mouth, a small, chaste kiss. I continue kissing along her jaw, back to her lips, the tip of her nose. She tastes like sunshine, she makes me smile. Her lips seek out my own and kiss me again before she pulls away.

She slumps back into her seat and I watch as she brings her fingers to her lips. She's breathing hard and has the most beautiful smile on her face.

"Edward, drive," she says, "you can go really fast tonight."

Bella

His lips are incredibly soft.

And warm.

As I sit next to him, watching him watch the road, speeding along to Forks, I discreetly pinch myself to make sure this is real, that this is happening. It's only been two minutes since the kiss, and he still has the same silly smile on his face. I don't think I mention enough just how beautiful Edward is. It is impossible to pick one feature. Right now, I can't even think. I just have to remind myself to breathe. I'm terrified that come Monday, he will realize how ridiculous this whole thing is and tell me I'll be better off without him, that I'm young, need to meet people my own age, that I'm great and we can hang out when I'm older. I have the entire conversation in my head. He is kind, but very matter-of-fact about the entire thing, I smile and pretend it's fine, that I understand. And then I go back to Charlie's and cry all summer and never meet anyone like Edward until I die, old and alone in Forks. Yep. I've got it all figured out. I don't like it.

But at this point, I'm too far gone to care. If that's what's coming, so be it. I will make every second in between count. I close my eyes and touch my lips. They are still feeling tingly and I am almost embarrassed at how excited and happy I am from such a simple kiss.

Simple, but perfect.

Stop thinking, Bella. Relax until you get back.

God, or someone out there, has other plans.

I feel Edward's hand on mine. I look over at him, he is staring at me intently. He takes my hand and brings it to his mouth, placing a warm kiss into my palm. Electricity shoots from my palm through my body and I feel a pulse between my legs again. I want nothing more than to take his hand and place it between my legs, show him how warm and welcoming it is for him, but the sweetness of the moment, coupled with my nerves, stops me.

Edward's phone buzzes, he lets go of my hand and looks at it. He smiles, shaking his head. I guess he has received a text. I wonder if it's from the girl he slept with three weeks ago, and I become irrationally angry. Be mature, Bella. It's none of your business. Of course it is – he's mine. Stop deluding yourself into believing that. Whatever, I can't help myself…

"It's Alice," Edward informs me, "she gets overly excited about things."

"Oh, I know. What is she excited about now?"

He shakes his head, telling me it's nothing.

"Edwaaard," I whine, hoping sad puppy eyes will get him to talk.

"Bella, that's not a good look for you," he laughs.

Grrrr...

"Fine, keep your secrets from me," I say.

"Jealous, much?"

What an asshole.

"Silent treatment?" he asks.

Uh huh.

"Ok, fine," he finally says. "Alice thinks you should tell Charlie you're staying in Port Angeles with her tonight, and wanted us to know she'll cover for you."

"Why would I do that?" I ask. "We're not in Port Angeles anymore."

He smirks.

"Oh." No… I can't staywith him. But I really, really, really want to stay with him.

He looks at me, trying to assess my reaction to the whole thing. I'm actually not sure what my reaction is myself.

"Bella, don't worry. I'll take you home tonight, Alice is being Alice, she will never learn to mind her own business."

I'm disappointed, yet so relieved. The only way I can maintain any of my sanity now is if I know that at some point tonight I will be in my own bed, alone, thinking. I look at this virtual stranger next to me and know that although I may have just felt his penis through his jeans, I can't spend a night with him. Not yet. It doesn't matter that I know nothing will 'happen', I just need some normalcy in my life.

I smile at Edward and take his hand, squeeze it. I decide to be less of a stranger, and rest my head on his shoulder. He kisses the top of my head. I find this to be the most affectionate gesture, and my heart flutters with joy.

"Bella, Bella, Bella."

"Yes?"

"Can't a guy just say your name because you're all he thinks about all day?"

Oh. My. God.

"Just during the day, Edward? Not at night?"

Good one, Swan, you're really getting the hang of this.

"At night I dream, Bella," he says.

"Tell me about your dreams," I breathe. I feel like I'm floating, I can't describe it, I am hanging onto his every word, losing myself in the moment.

"How about I show you instead?" he asks.

"Yes. When?"

"Eager, Miss Swan?"

"Yes,"

"I have forever to show you, Bella. In a way I'm living my dreams."

I shiver, sometimes he's too intense. He looks down at me, a look of horror on his face. He looks confused and shakes his head, and places another kiss on top of mine. He looks nervous now, almost upset. I want to ask what's wrong, but I don't want to be annoying. I stare at his fingers in my hand, touching them, memorizing them. I need all this for the days I won't have Edward. I close my eyes and breathe him in, again, so that one day I can live on the memories. I shouldn't be this pessimistic, I should just be happy to be here, with him. And I am. I sigh.

"Bella, if I get too intense, say things that sound a little crazy, I'm sorry. I'm not usually like this, I don't know what came over me," he says.

Somehow, I know what came over him. That same feeling that has taken over all of me. I'm still not comfortable with it, because it's different, and it scares me. But I know there is nothing else I want to feel, no other state in which I want to be. I can only hope that he realizes this himself, and soon.

"Never apologize for giving me a life worth living," I murmur.

Hah, now I know how he feels. Sometimes I don't know where these words come from.

Edward

Wow.

Does this little girl really feel that strongly about me?

What do I feel?

I want to roll my eyes at her words, and get annoyed, freak out, but I can't. Because if I turn them around, and ask myself whether that is how I feel, I know she's right. She has given me the same thing. Every time I get into my car to drive over to Charlie's I have a purpose, a goal. Whether it's to get to know this exquisite creature better, or just to make her smile, there is a reason to be here now.

Not that my life sucked before, or had no meaning. It always did, but I guess I had no idea just how wonderful it could be. Now I do, and it terrifies me to think about life without these car rides, the banter, and now the hands I want hold forever and lips I want to worship. While I want to focus on the way my body responses to her and how hard she makes me, and while my obsession with her skin and body and lips is a huge part of this 'thing' between us, I can't focus solely on that anymore. Fuck, what am I doing?

All rational thought has left me. Reason, logic, please… Who needs any of that? I think back to how she pressed her hand down on my cock earlier, and can't help but imagine all of the things I want to teach her. I realize this sounds a little dirty, well, it sounds almost vile, and maybe it is, but there's so much I want to do, and I don't mean to be vile. I don't know what I want. It's probably easier to focus on tonight. Tonight is about kisses, and I will kiss her in every way she'll allow me. And then, one day…

I plan on doing a lot with Bella Swan, if she wants me.

I plan on showing her, really showing her how hard she makes me.

I plan on touching her between her legs over cotton or maybe even lace, and then again when she is completely bare.

I plan on feeling her wet for the first time on my fingertips, and showing her how sweet she tastes, how wonderful she feels.

I plan on watching her as she touches my cock for the first time, I mean really touches it, wrapping her hand around; I plan on guiding her on her first pump.

I plan on never letting go as I make her come for the first time, staring into her pretty eyes, showing her how amazing it can feel, promising her that I will make her feel that way for as long as she wants to keep me around.

I plan on looking into her eyes as she watches me come.

I plan on tasting her on my tongue.

I plan on praying that she swallows.

I plan on hearing moans, screams, groans, squeals, murmurs, whispers, sweet nothings.

I'm breathing very heavily, and I get harder as these thoughts swim around in my head.

"Edward, one more time?" Bella asks.

"What, baby? Tell me," I tell her, squeezing her hand.

"May I please feel you again?"

"One more time?"

"Yes, please," she nods, eagerly.

"No."

Her face falls, she looks away. I can't help but laugh.

"Bella, if you want to feel me again now, you better plan on feeling me again, and again, and again, and again. I don't want to hear this nonsense about 'one more time.'"

She blushes and giggles, and I take the soft hand that I have been holding and place it over me. Fuck it feels so good, so perfect. I want to thrust up against it, I want her to release me and start pumping with wild abandon.

Control, Cullen. You're not half-assing any of this.

She looks so excited, she moves her hand around, feeling me. I know I can't take much more.

"Bella," I look into her eyes, placing my hand over hers, "this belongs to you. Be a good girl and I promise we can try anything you'd like. Now take your hand back before I fuck this up, because I sure as hell can't remove it for you. Trust me."

She's a smart girl, she knows what's good for her and she removes her hand, bringing it to my cheek.

"Faster, Cullen, stop driving like an old man."