Yeah! Second-to-last chapter up! How was everyone's Christmas, or whatever the heck you guys celebrate? Sorry for not updating before, had relatives round. It was okay, but it severely restricted my writing time. Still, can't complain. Well, I suppose I can,but not about anything important... sorry I was rambling there...
FINALLY! SLASH!! YESSSS!!
Death note is not mine.
Light had never really seen Ryuzaki look suspicious – his acting skills rivalled even Light's own, so he never appeared to be uncomfortable, no matter the situation. Now, however, he was glancing up and down the hallway, and seemed to be listening carefully, as though he did not want to run into anyone on his way to wherever he was going. Light knew that he really shouldn't, but his curiosity finally got the better of him; he jogged after the detective, slightly surprised at the speed of Ryuzaki's loping stride.
As the two ascended the steep steps, Light realised that they were heading towards the roof again, and almost turned around, memories of wind and rain chilling him to the core. Yet something within him resisted the idea of leaving Ryuzaki, and he steeled himself before walking out into the elements, glancing around as he attempted to catch a glimpse of the elusive detective.
Ryuzaki was standing in the pouring rain, staring into the distance, eyes unfocused as the rain poured down his face. Light wasn't sure, but he thought he could see Ryuzaki's shoulders shaking – the supposed genius was standing in the rain in nothing more than a long-sleeved t-shirt, jeans and scuffed shoes. He wasn't even wearing socks! Ryuzaki had always been rather eccentric, but this was simply ridiculous. Having escaped Kira's clutches for so long, Light couldn't believe that Ryuzaki was prepared to risk catching hypothermia and dying due to sheer idiocy.
Wait a minute... Light thought, looking at Ryuzaki carefully, still sheltered somewhat by the overhang above him, that Ryuzaki's eyes looked rather...shiny. Was he crying? That certainly seemed out of character for the great detective; he had almost always been completely unfazed by whatever life threw at him.
Taking a deep breath and bracing himself, Light stepped out of his little shelter and walked across the roof to where Ryuzaki stood. Light wasn't sure why he chose to stand beside his arch-nemesis; it wasn't as though he could do or say anything to the man.
Both Light and Ryuzaki looked around when the door to the roof opened; though Ryuzaki showed no sign of it, Light was sure he wasn't the only one surprised to see Matsuda step out of the corridor and into the cold.
"Ryuzaki, why haven't you been to see Light?" Matsuda asked, sounding quite indignant on Light's behalf, and the mass-murderer couldn't help but feel touched at the gesture. There were very few who would dare stand up to Ryuzaki in this way, and Light hadn't realised that Matsuda had this much courage.
"His fate will be the same, regardless of whether I choose to visit him, Matsuda. Besides, I don't think Light would want me to see him in his present state," Ryuzaki replied, turning away to stare across the rooftops once again.
"But he's your friend! Your first friend is in hospital, and you haven't even been to see him! Ryuzaki, I think that Light would care more about that than the fact you saw him when he was sick. He would want to know that you were there for him, I know he would!" Matsuda's voice was passionate, and Light could hear that he truly believed what he was saying. He had never before realised what a good friend Matsuda was.
"I can't! I can't go and see him, because it might be the last time I ever see him, and I don't really want my last memory of Light to be lying in hospital, completely helpless! Matsuda, please understand that I want to go and see Light more than anything, but I just can't bring myself to do so!" Light had never heard so much emotion in the detective's voice before, and in truth, it scared him a little. Matsuda was silent for a moment.
"What happened to the L who challenged Kira to kill him on live TV? What happened to the man who confronted the person most likely to be Kira head on? And now, you're scared to go and see your own friend?" Matsuda looked and sounded angry at Ryuzaki. "If you don't go, then you aren't the man we all thought you were." With that, the young task force member turned away and stormed inside, leaving a shell-shocked Light staring at Ryuzaki.
He hadn't realised how well the man understood him and his thought processes – Ryuzaki had somehow managed to voice almost exactly what he had been thinking.
Light also hadn't realised exactly how much his prolonged unconsciousness was affecting Ryuzaki; he didn't think he had ever heard the man raise his voice before; now, he had virtually yelled at Matsuda, the most agreeable member of the task force.
Light was getting himself sidetracked; he mentally shook himself, and stood next to Ryuzaki, contemplating his mortality and the short time he had left to find an answer.
What had Wicked meant when she said that he was looking too hard? Who had she meant when she told him to think of who had no one but him? Light couldn't help but think that the answer was right there, but somehow, it was intangible, like trying to catch smoke with his bare hands.
Light was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice the tears on Ryuzaki's face mingling with the rain.
L wasn't quite sure when it had dawned on him exactly how much he cared for Light Yagami, but he thought it may have been sometime between the thirty-fourth and thirty-fifth stair leading to the roof. As for how he had never before realised his feelings, he could only suppose that it was incredible mind attempting to shield itself from the pain this would doubtless inflict upon him. After all, what sort of genius detective goes and falls in love with the prime suspect in a murder investigation? Who happens to be dating the second suspect in afore mentioned murder case? Who, let's not forget, is undeniably straight?
No, this could not end well. So, L could only assume that he had subconsciously been protecting himself by denying these feelings for so long.
More than anything, L wanted to visit Light, to reassure himself that Light was still alive, was still fighting whatever this was, but he couldn't bring himself to take the first step in the right direction. What if it was the last time he ever saw Light alive? He would much rather remember the calm, intelligent boy Light had always been, rather than the medical anomaly he was right now. Also, as he had explained to Matsuda – whose courage astounded him – he knew that Light wouldn't want him as a witness to his weakness.
L had never really believed in God; even now, after meeting a shinigami, the idea of one all-powerful being was absurd to his mind. However, L couldn't help the small prayer that fell from his lips – he asked for the strength he would need to visit Light.
Whether or not it was a god, L thought he felt someone with him in that moment – someone who took his hand and led off of the roof towards the hospital room.
Though he knew it was impossible, and though it sounded ridiculous even in his mind, L couldn't help but think that the presence felt an awful lot like Light.
If not for the monitors and the fact that Light was staring at his own body, he rather thought that it looked a lot like he was sleeping. As it was, the constant beeping of machines constantly reminded him of the fact that this was one sleep from which he may never wake.
Ryuzaki crouched in the chair by the side of his bed – they were the only ones in there, and in truth, Light was really very glad. He could see the detective falling apart in front of him, and he thought that it was bad enough that he was witness to Ryuzaki's pain. Of course, he suspected that there were security cameras placed throughout the room, but the only person who would be watching that was Watari; possibly his father, but Light doubted it.
Light stood in the corner, as far from his body as he could possibly get – standing too close to it felt weird, like he was staring at his corpse. Ryuzaki seemed to be having similar thoughts as he took hold of Light's hand – his body's hand, anyway. Sadly, Light stared at his spiritual hand; he felt nothing that might indicate Ryuzaki had touched it. It was as though he was completely separate from his body, a notion that Light did not like at all.
The bubble of somewhat distorted peace did not last long – Rem and Ryuk drifted through the wall of the hospital room some time later, though of course, Ryuzaki was only aware of Rem's presence.
"L, I am afraid that I will have to leave this world at the end of this day," she said, her voice impassive. Light's eyebrows shot up his forehead – he could guess who was behind this, but he was shocked that she would take it this far.
"Why?" Ryuzaki asked, his voice hoarse – he cleared his throat quietly, unaware that anyone but Rem and possibly Watari could hear him.
"The shinigami king has ordered that all shinigami return to our realm, with our death notes, by the end of today. You needn't worry – it is doubtful that any shall return within your lifetime."
Light turned to Ryuk. "Is this true?" He asked the shinigami, voice sceptical.
"Oh yeah, heard from him earlier today. Wicked paid him a visit apparently; seems like her lot are serious about this anti-Kira business."
"But without the death note, we have no case!" Ryuzaki cried.
"You will have no need for one; without the death note, Kira will be unable to commit murder," Rem soothed, her gentle voice calming even to Light, though she wasn't speaking to him.
"Will I lose my memories of the death note?" Light asked, turning to Ryuk, and he was dimly aware of Ryuzaki asking Rem the same question.
"You'll forget about me, and you'll forget that you ever owned a death note, but all the stuff the investigators learned about it and Rem after you killed Higuchi will stay with you," Ryuk explained.
"So I won't remember I'm Kira?" He asked with some trepidation.
"Nah," Ryuk laughed; the sound was as raspy as usual.
This way, L won't be able to convict me, Light thought gleefully, temporarily forgetting that he may well die before L ever had the chance to convict him.
"I understand. Thank you for telling me, Rem," L said, the shinigami's name sounding strange and foreign on his lips.
"You are quite welcome, L," she responded, turning and leaving silently, so that L was once again alone with Light. L took a deep breath and started speaking feeling incredibly foolish.
"Light. Though this may sound rather stupid, and though you would no doubt laugh if you were conscious, I feel as though you can hear me, wherever you are. Logically, I know that there is less than a four percent chance that you can actually hear me, but many people believe that people in a coma are aware of their surroundings, and I suppose it can't hurt...
"You know that you are my first friend. I've already told you that, and I feel that you have been quite a good friend to me, regardless of whether or not you can actually hear me. But Light, these new circumstances have made me realise something; something that I'm not quite sure how to put into words. You hear that? You've managed to render me speechless! As I'm sure you're aware, that is some achievement.
"Light, recently I've started to notice things about you that perhaps I shouldn't notice. The way your hair shines with such beautiful honeyed tones in the sunlight; how smooth and confident your voice sounds; how you always seem to take everything life throws at you in stride. And Light, when I realised that I was noticing these things, I pushed them to the back of my mind – I always told myself that I would analyse what they meant later, though I never did. I was too afraid of what they might mean, what they might tell me about myself.
"But now... now that your life is in danger, now that I may never have the chance to say this again... Light all of those things I noticed, the realisation I've come to...
"I love you, Light Yagami, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. And I think that that's what scares me most of all."
L had no idea that at that exact moment the object of his affections was listening to his confessions with his mouth open wide and his brain completely shorted out.
Well. Of all the things Light had expected to come out of Ryuzaki's mouth, a declaration of love wasn't one of them. Though, the more he thought about it...
Light was certain that he returned those feelings. He wasn't precisely sure when or how it had happened, but happen it had, and now he would have to face the consequences.
He was sure that this was what Wicked had been talking about. Ryuzaki was the person who needed him most of all, and Ryuzaki was one of the only reasons he wanted to stay alive.
"I think you have an answer for me, Light Yagami." This time, Wicked's voice was too soft to startle, and her tone was almost kind; her mouth lifted in something that could have been a smile, which Light found mildly disturbing. Light gave her his reason as simply as he could, smiling gently at Ryuzaki.
"Him. He's the reason I stay alive," Light whispered, stepping closer to the man he had so carelessly fallen in love with, staring fondly at the mess of dark hair, the pale skin and obsidian eyes that made up the world's most elusive detective.
"An excellent answer," Wicked murmured, though Light didn't hear her. He turned back to the strange goddess.
"Will I remember this?" He asked – he wanted to be able to remember Ryuzaki's words for the rest of his life, however long or short that was.
"Oh yes. We would not take this experience from you," Wicked replied smiling and waving a dismissive hand at him. As before, Light felt himself crumple to the ground.
However, this time when he opened his eyes, he was not staring at his own body, but rather, gazing into a pair of startled, relieved and – dare he think it – loving black eyes.
Only the epilogue to go now! Will hopefully be up tomorrow. Please review! I love reviews. Reviews to me are cakes and sweeties to L! Now, because I am exhausted, I will stop typing.