Quick update since this is the 2nd half of the wedding.

I would like to dedicate this chappy to my friend of all friends (who is the co-writer for Flattened by a Laughing Camel) because she has kindly listened and joined in to my moaning and ranting about this story & has supplied me with more ideasss (:

Hesitations. Part 2

Sunday 27th September... Still

Gee

I can't believe this is happening. Well I can because Big G has never been my biggest fan but still... why is it happening?!

Dave is stood less than a metre away. Has he forgotten what personal boundaries are over the years?

Libby is off to Robbie about God knows what and Bry is just standing next to me, glancing from me to Dave curiously. This is bad, this is so bad.

"You must be Bryony," Dave says, completely blanking me as he veers away to shake Bry's hand. She looks a tad confused at first and stares at Dave's hand like it's covered in fungus for a good few seconds before finally shaking it. Dave's eyes seem to narrow at this but he doesn't say anything.

"And you're Dave." Bryony states confidently, shocking him no end and definitely rendering him speechless.

"I... erm, yes, yes I am," Dave stutters after taking a few seconds to recover. The Dave I know doesn't stutter. Well the Dave I knew didn't anyway.

I can't imagine what's going through Dave's head now. He probably thinks that I told Bry loads about him like some crazy obsessed woman who never got over her high school boyfriend.

But this is all complete bollocks of course. I never told Bry anything about him. She had to find out for herself by reading my diaries. I wonder how she knows this is Dave. Maybe she overhead someone else calling him that? Yes, that'll be it.

And I did get over Dave. Sure, it may have taken... a rather long time but I did it. I am completely, one hundred percent, totally not over him. NO! I am over him. So over him in fact that even though he's standing just inches or so away looking gorgey and smelling groovy I, Georgia Nicolson, do not even feel a teensy threat of the oncoming Horn. Nope, not at all... right?

But why are my legs bloody shaking? Grrrr.

When I finally refocus my brain to earth (which trust me, takes a while) I find Dave facing me again, a strange look in his eyes.

"So erm..." he begins – taking his turn now to dart his gaze between me and Bry. As you do. "How have you been?"

Ok what is that supposed to mean? Is it a – 'how have you been without me' sort of question? Or a 'you must be so depressed and alone' statement? Or maybe he actually wants to know how I'm feeling and what's going on in my life these days. Maybe...

"Well I... erm, I..." oh great. It seems the stutteryness is contagious. Wonderful.

"She's a write," Bryony chirps up and I smile at her gratefully. Maybe she can talk for me instead. "She works for a magazine and has done for four years and she loves it. Before that she was a reviewer for a year but the boss thought she was too controversial." Bry suddenly pauses as she finishes this and looks to me with a slightly worried look on her face. I smile at her though and as I glance over at Dave I see that he too is wearing an amused grin on his face.

"I see you're still the same then," Dave says in a casual way yet I still feel the hairs on my arms prick up at the words. Does he mean that in a bad way? Like I've not grown up from the crazy cosmic horn-driven silly teenage I was? Because I have. Haven't I?

I'm staring at Dave blankly. I can't decide if he's trying to be funny or not. I mean he used to be a laugh, is he still one now? Hmm...

Oh Christ almighty this is so awkward – no one has talked in over twenty seconds! I know because I counted in my head. I've been practising. I've been staring at Dave who kept looking at Bry who is fascinated by the ground.

Ooo, Bry's head has just popped up. She must have sensed the incisive staring. Freaky.

"I'm going to go see the Grands," Bry says turning to leave suddenly. I almost stop her then because Dave now looks a tad relieved and I have a feeling he wants to talk to me alone. Crap.

But I let Bry wander off because clearly she was a bit uncomfortable and things could be a lot worse if Dave says the wrong thing in front of her.

"Does she know?" Dave asks, glancing over my shoulder at Bryony walking away. I frown in confusion. That's a silly question.

"Does she know what?" I ask.

Dave frowns, "Have you told her?"

Ok this is silly, "Told her what?" I say and then Dave goes slightly mad akimbo and grabs hold of my arms none too gently.

"Does Bryony know I'm her dad?!" He practically shouts so we both end up suddenly glancing round to make sure nobody's heard. Luckily it doesn't seem like it. Or if they did they really don't care. Charming.

I sort of pull away from Dave's grasp and say, "You don't know you're her father."

Dave looks around us before stepping closer yet again and saying, "Yes Georgia, I do."

I shake my head, I'm so scared right now. "No you don't." I say and my voice is suddenly really quiet.

Dave looks at me and shrugs casually before saying, Fine. Then I want a paternity test done."

I stare at him in shock. Please Big G say he did not just say that. Why? Whhhhyyy?

"But-" I begin to say but Dave cuts me off.

"Don't Georgia," he says, "I have every right to ask for one and you know it. And I will push this. I have to know."

Why? Why does he have to know? And why now? After fourteen bloody years of nothing?

"You can't do this to Bryony," I blurt out because it's the only thing I can think of that might make Dave go back on what he just said.

"Do what to Bryony?" he scoffs, "telling her who her dad is isn't a crime you know. She'll probably be grateful to know. Unless it's really Robbie you're bothered about."

I shake my head because I know I'm definitely right about this. "She won't" I say, ignoring the comment about Robbie, "she doesn't need you in her life and as far as I'm aware for the past fourteen years you haven't needed her either. Doing this paternity test won't do any good. Please Dave don't do this."

Oh hells bells I just sounded like a pathetic, moppy person. How unbelievably sad.

"I'm doing it," Dave states. And I believe him. Shit. "I just have to know," he says a bit quieter and finally takes the step back.

At which point Bryony comes flying in. Oh Big G please say she didn't hear any of that. I'll... not say bad things about Jas for a month.

"The Grands say we have to go to the reception now," Bry says to me. I stare at her for a moment before finally saying;

"Right... yeah let's go."

Then we walk away. I don't say anything else to Dave and I don't look at him again. I can't believe this is happening. I knew something crap like this would come about. Fab. Just fab.

At the wedding reception and it's annoyingly good despite all the craposity Dave's arrived with. I'm sat on a table with Jas, Tom, Robbie, Po's parents and Hunky's parents. Dave is on another table of eight with Rollo, Ed, their girlfriends, Dec and a couple of Tom's groomsmen. At least Dave hasn't brought a 'lady friend' or anyone. Not that I'd care. But if he had appeared with a wife and three kids it would have been so weird. And not in a good way.

I switched with Libs and went and sat at Rosie's table for a bit before. She's with Sven, Mabs, Bry, Jools and her guy who, by the way is probably the nicest, sweetest guy in the universe of universes. It's kind of freaky. He's really really nice. Like the opposite of Rollo.

Not that Rollo's horrible. But Rollo, who Jools wouldn't stop staring at the whole time I was sat next to her and probably before and after that too. I kept nudging her of course but alas it did no good. She would just shrug at me and go back to playing sticky eyes with her old boyfriend. I guess I know who has the commitment problem in their relationship. Poor Sam. That's his name.

Jas is probably sweating her arse off. She seems to have it in her head that there's gonna be some trouble between the Ace Gang and the Barmy Army because they haven't seen each other in ages. She so over reacts.

But my money's on Jools and Rollo and Sam if something does go off. Not that Sam would be able to say anything offensive. He'd probably have to go confess to Call-me-Arnold right after. How sweet. Ish.

Anyway I'm back at my own table now, which is slightly less fun. Although it is a bit later now so people have started drinking and then gradually shifted over to the dance floor. Jas and Tom had their first dance together a while ago. It was to "Amazed" by Lonestar which I thought was a tad corny but I didn't say anything because I'm nice like that. And hey ho it's their song not mine.

Robbie is acting rather strange for him. As in he's hardly spoken throughout the entire reception. Mind you neither have I, although with Dave at least I have a good reason. Unless Dave being back is why Robbie is a bit off too. Maybe.

"Georgia," hey talk of the devil it's Robbie himself! Not that he's the devil... he's in fact the vair opposite of the devil he's tres tres sweet.

He just leant over and whispered in my ear. I turned to him and whispered back, "Yeah?"

He looked at me for a moment and his blue eyes went a hazy shade. "You wanna dance?"

I looked up at the dance floor to pay attention to what was on – Everything I do by Bryan Adams. A slow one. All the couple were sort of melting into each other. Robbie wants me to dance now?

"Erm...ok," I found myself saying and next thing I know I'm only a tad awkwardly dancing in Robbie's arms. And I'm surprised it's not more awkward. How odd.

We're not quite like the other 'dancers' though. He's got his hands on my back and mine are just on the top of his shoulders. Yes it's not awkward. It's actually quite nice.

"I did something stupid," Robbie abruptly says and I end up laughing ironically. Robbie never does anything stupid. Well unless I'm involved... but let's not talk about that.

I grin at him, "Is it anywhere near some of the stupid things I've done? Because if it isn't, I can't believe it's that bad."

Robbie takes his time before cracking smile like mine. "Fair enough."

We dance silently for a bit then until the song changes to that "Eternal Flame" one by the Bracelets or something. We look at each other for a moment before moving slowly closer so my head's now pressed against his chest and my arms around his neck.

Robbie tries to clear his throat before saying, "Dave's looking at you." I shut my eyes and don't say anything.

Well until I say "He wants a paternity test." Robbie stays silent so I carry on, "And... he's really going to do it."

Robbie pulls away then so he can look at me. "Georgia I..." he pauses and sighs, "I know you know who the father is. And not once in all these years have I asked you about that. But now... isn't it better that Bry finds out – that we all find out from you, not some stupid test?"

I feel myself beginning to blub so I pull Robbie back closer for something to lean against.

"I'm scared," I whisper and it's true. I'm bloody terrified.

Robbie sort of strokes my hair a bit and says, "Me too... me too."

Bryony

I'm not usually one to hesitate because normally I trust myself and my actions. I don't feel the need to stop and think about most things.

Well, until recently that is. Now it's like everything that's happening is making me hesitate and sometimes look back and wonder why I didn't hesitate before.

Nathan, for example, I had an idea about him (not a very nice one) but it turns out he is human (wow) and has his own story like the rest of us. And yeah, I feel horrible about that situation.

But it's confusing as well. When I talked to Nathan that night he seemed really cut up about not knowing his dad. Which is weird because I've never felt that way at all. About my dad I mean. Which is definitely ironic considering what I overheard about seven hours ago.

It was a while after the ceremony when everyone was outside talking and having pictures etc. I'd left Gee so she could talk alone with Dave but as it turns out I went back to them too early. And heard way more that I wanted to.

So Dave asked Gee for a paternity test which I guess could mean one of two things. One, it could be that this Dave from Gee's diaries is an extremely nosy jerk even though it's not of his business. Or two, and obviously the one I believe since I'm not stupid, that Dave thinks he could be my dad. Hmm... fancy that?

And all that means that there must be someone else who could also possibly be my dad. Oh the fun. I feel like I'm in blood Mamma Mia – which in itself is ironic considering it's the last film I watched on Thursday night with Libby.

Now don't get me wrong, I didn't spend the last seven hours trying to think who the other possible 'dad' could be because even if I did find out accidentally, it doesn't change anything about what I believe about the whole dad scenario. Sure, I hesitated when I first overhead them but I covered it up fast luckily. I wonder what Gee would be like if she knew that I know?

No, on the contrary I spent the last seven hours trying to forget what I now know. I do['t want to spend my time worrying about some guy who clearly didn't fancy being in my life for the past thirteen, nearly fourteen years I've been alive so I don't feel the need to give it the time of day.

At the moment I'm sat with Libby, Gee's old Ace Gang and some of their partners, like Sven for example who is so the coolest guy in the room. Most people go changed out their wedding gear to come to the reception (I took off my fishing net dress) and Sven changed into a casual suit kind of thing with a flashing tie!! Genius.

Libby is terrified of him as well which adds to the general comical effect. She keeps nudging her chair closer to mine because Sven is constantly offering to feed her strawberries. Personally, I think this is quite a nice gesture. Libs doesn't though.

I had a bit of a boogie with Sven and Rosie before and yes, boogie is definitely the right word, even if I don't use it much. Their form of dancing is sort of a mix between the Hakka and twisting excessively. Still, it's all good fun. Plus Libby was pleased that Sven had left the table for a bit.

One of Gee's Ace Gang members, Jools I think her name is, has brought her boyfriend along from down south. And I think she's being very rude to him. Instead of actually talking to her date she just kept making eyes at this other bloke sat on a different table. Very rude. And the guy she's with, Sam, is really nice. He seems sweet and funny and relaxed. I feel really sorry for him. I don't know what this Jools is doing. Although I have just met her, and she is Gee's friend so maybe I shouldn't judge.

But me, if I was Jools, I would be so happy to be with a guy like Sam and would at least look his way when having a conversation.

Thinking about this, I was suddenly brought to Callum. I haven't been 'friends' with him in nearly a week. And I really hate it. And I miss him. Without him at school I'm practically friendless. No wait, I most certainly am friendless.

I ended up talking to Libby about Callum while we were at the table and everyone else was dancing. I would talk to Gee but while we don't have the typical mother-daughter awkwardness when it comes to stuff like this she is still my mum. Plus, Libby was right there next to me.

"I'm sure he'll come around," Libby said after listening to me moan. She's probably heard enough about it all on Thursday (before the venture into the woods). Not that Libby would say anything if my mediocre problems were boring her; she's too nice (and shy) to offend anyone.

"I just... he's never acted like this before," I said, "I've not seen him in so long." Christ do they put something int he water in this place? Why am I sounding so whiny?

"And it's his birthday soon" I continued, "what if he doesn't let me see him before then? We always do something special on our birthdays but this year he'll probably do something with Nathan."

"Nathan from the woods?" Libby questioned and I nodded. "He seemed alright."

I frowned and shrugged. I don't really know what to think of him anymore.

Libby continued, "I mean he helped me find you. When I didn't know you were at your house that is."

I smiled apologetically and Libby did back. "Maybe you should give him a chance," She said, and I found myself nodding along.

"And maybe Callum's feeling confused right now," she added after a while. I turned to see her frowning into her drink.

"What do you mean?" I asked anxiously – Libby never frowns.

She bit her lip ,"Well... well maybe he doesn't quite know how he feels about you so he's trying to clear his head."

"I... what?" I said totally confused.

Libby frowned harder (if that's possible) and said, "maybe he likes you."

It was my turn to frown then because the way she meant that was not in a friend way.

"What?" I exclaimed, "Callum's my best friend." Or at least he used to be.

Libby shrugged distractedly, "I don't know, maybe something happened and now I- he feels different and doesn't know how to deal with it."

I hesitated in replying. One, because maybe there are some truths in what Libby had just said and two, I don't think she was only referring to Callum.

"Libby," I said cautiously, "Are you ok?"

She turned her head to me and nodded vehemently, "I'm fine."

Something's wrong. I wonder what? She wasn't frowning anymore, just looking unbelievably worried and pale – ok, even paler than normal which takes quite some feet, trust me.

I turned to see in which direction she was staring. It was towards the table with Gee, Jas, Tom, Robbie etc on. What's over there that's so troubling and distracting? I can't imagine any one of them making Libby so... agitated. But she is looking that way.

Libby has gone to the loo and basically everyone (even the Grands here) is on the dance floor. Probably because they've started playing upbeat, happy songs again instead of the sentimental much they had on a few minutes ago.

A few minutes ago. When I learnt something else I never asked to know. It was one of those last, slow songs and Gee was dancing with Robbie. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as well and it was actually like something clicked in my head. Weird.

Just the way he was looking at her. The way they both were holding each other – I knew, just knew in that moment that there was something there, that they had something between them. And I thought back to the diaries of Gee's that I'd read. About what she said about Robbie in there. And what Dave had said earlier that day when he mentioned Robbie's name. It was right there – Robbie could possibly be my dad.

And it scared me – scared me no end. Robbie could be my dad? Robbie or Dave? Oh lord.

Luckily it was at this moment around that Libby decided she desperately needed the loo so took off and therefore didn't witness my unease. She looked rather queasy herself in fact she looked how I was feeling.

I wanted to get some air then – get out and clear my head like Libs was talking about before.

But I never got the chance because Robbie and Gee suddenly called me over. Of course they did. What else?

And I had to go. I had to go and dance with them and pretend that the weird feeling I had about Dave and Calum and Robbie wasn't there. At least it was a lively song so I could basically jump around like a crazy person and not have to act awkward or anything.

But then the song ended and I was dreading that weird bit between songs where you have to sway dodgily and talk etc. Robbie was looking at me like he wanted to talk. And he was smiling as well.

Or he was until suddenly Libby appeared out of nowhere (or the bathroom as that's where she was) and demanded to talk with him in the hall. That was odd. She looked a cross between angry and scared.

Me and Gee were just as confused as anything but when those two left we danced by ourselves.

It was nice. Gee may not be the best dancer in the world but she's so much fun. She did an excellent job at making me forget everything and by the look on her face I reckon she was grateful for the distraction as well.

Libby

The wedding was the reception was beautiful. I have no hesitations about saying that. And Jas, she looked absolutely amazing. Her hair was curled into ringlets and half clipped up with a few strands hanging down. And she didn't take her dress off all night – I don't blame her.

But as much as it was all pretty and wonderful etc for me it was horrific. And no, not concerning Jas or Tom. I just couldn't stop thinking about Robbie, or staring at him for that matter. I'm so scared; what has happened to me? It's like I can't move or think or focus without hesitating to look at him.

Of course he didn't help matters with what he said to me earlier, just after the actual wedding. He said he was sorry and that it shouldn't have happened.

Why did he say that? Did he not like it?

Well obviously he didn't. And that doesn't exactly make me feel better. How come I'm reacting like this and he just wants to forget about it and act like it never occurred.

Although come to think of it forgetting sounds like a good option right about now. Because I'm sat at my table at the reception with my head in my hands while everyone has fun around me. Apart from Bryony the only people on this table are basically Gee's friends – and Gee's friends are definitely not the sort of people I'm friends with. They're loud and crazy and flirty and confident. If you want to get a word in edge ways you have to yell. Not that I do.

Jas and Tom had their first dance just a few moments ago – another thing to add to the beautiful list. I can't believe how in love those two are, it's so sweet. I hope when I get married I'm as much in love with the guy as Jas is. She's very lucky.

"Libs!" Someone just shouted in my ear and my head snapped around to see Gee waving her hands in front of me, "Hello! Switch with me silly," she said. Huh?

"What?" I questioned, wondering how long I'd been daydreaming for.

"Go sit in my place for a bit will you?" She said as she physically removed me from my seat anyway.

I went and moved over to her table, only registering that I would have to sit next to Robbie when I was just a mere metre away. He turned to see who was coming over and his face sort of fell when he recognised me. Thanks.

"Err..." he began gruffly, pulling out the chair for me awkwardly. How is it that he can be a perfect gentleman and still make my heart and head hurt? Not fair.

"Thanks" I said in a whisper and shuffled my chair up to the table so I could lean on it for support. Robbie didn't seem like he was going to talk to me any time soon except to nod his head in acknowledgement so I turned away from him slightly to see Jas. We talked for quite a while until Tom called her up to dance again.

Leaving me with only Robbie on my other side.

It was him that spoke first though. And I was surprised (and perhaps secretly pleased) to find that his voice was as shaky as my thoughts, "Have you told anyone?"

I shook my head and said, "No," as well. It was quiet though. And to anyone on other tables it probably wouldn't even look like we were having a conversation: he was staring out towards the dance floor and I had my head looking down at the table.

"Oh..." Robbie said trying to appear nonchalant but I knew he was relieved. "I am sor-" he started to say but we were suddenly interrupted by the reappearance of Gee.

"Hey, thanks for that Libs, your chair awaits your botty once more." She said.

I nodded silently and refused to look at Robbie as I clambered out of my chair and headed back over to the other table. How dare he say he's sorry again? I know he bloody regrets it, does he have to keep reminding me?

A couple hours or so have passed now. Maybe more, I'm not too sure. Robbie doesn't look too active on his table. Good. I hope he's as troubled as I am. And he doesn't even have a crazy Swedish (I think) person on his left.

Sven. Another one of my sister's... friends. They may as well be a circus I think. He's tall and blonde and the same mad character that was sat next to me during the wedding ceremony. Why are we always put together? If I wasn't me I might ask to switch. But that's life.

He keeps trying to talk to me and make me eat stuff or something. He's probably trying to poison me more like it. Bry seems to think it's funny of course.

But then I began talking with her about her 'boy' problems as such. I really, really didn't want to discuss it but what could I say? This is my little niece; it's my job to help her out - even if my experience is pathetically limited and probably of no use.

I listened and tried to help where I could though. She seemed really upset about her best friend Callum. And I realised that for once, maybe I had the upper hand in the knowledge section of relationships. Ok, so I was up against a thirteen year old girl but still...

I guess Bryony is just too innocent to think that her best friend my actually like her. And maybe he doesn't, but I think there's a good chance he might. It would explain his behaviour well anyway.

As I continued to tell Bry what I thought, thoughts of Robbie kept creeping into my mind. And before I knew it the Callum I was portraying turned into me. I had to keep mentally reminding myself that it was Callum I was referring to all the time, though I couldn't help turn his feelings into mine. It was a subconscious thing at first that I gradually became aware of...

And I think Bryony did to. She caught me drifting off towards the end and tried to catch who I was staring at. She even asked if I was ok but I don't think she got the whole story. Thank God. I think it would be rather embarrassing to get love advice from your little niece. I imagine.

Not long after that happened something else did that made me want to cry. Which is probably why I ended up running to the bathroom.

I just looked up and saw them; Robbie and Gee, dancing in each other's arms. It wasn't too intimate or anything it just... well I saw the way he was looking at her. They've got history, they've got a connection...

It's silly that it's making me feel this way really. I always knew that Robbie liked my sister. Nothing changed there I guess, just with me. Why am I feeling this way? I don't want to feel this way. It hurts and I'm a coward when it comes to pain.

I don't know how long I stayed in the bathroom for. It could have been just a few seconds though it felt like several minutes. I guess it made me feel a tad better though... well, that could be debated.

See when I stormed back out of the loos and over to the dance floor where Robbie, Gee and now Bry were dancing I wasn't so much on the verge of tears like before, but felt surprisingly determined and I guess a little bit angry, or emotional at the very least.

Anyway I walked straight over to them and asked to speak with Robbie. And when I say asked I mean I said, "Robbie, in the hall please." I don't think I've ever spoken so confidently my whole life. Strange right?

"Erm... ok," he had said and he looked even scared than me. Good. I think...

When we entered the hall Robbie stopped, swung round to face me and said, "Listen Libby I'm sor-"

I cut him off, "No!" I said. Ok, it was a bit louder than that... "No I don't want you to be sorry! I don't want you to say that you wish it never happened and that it was a mistake because I don't want it to be a mistake because I... I-I liked it!"

Oh my god I cannot believe I just blurted all that out. Robbie is looking at me funny. I'm not surprised. This cannot get any worse.

Robbie sighs, "Look... this is... I know you don't want to hear it but I am sorry, I can't... do anything with this it's so... it's not right. Trust me."

He's trying to make me feel better but it's not working. Is this is way of letting me down gently or something? I think I'm going to cry – I can feel the water coming into my eyes. How can I feel so strongly about someone I never really saw until a few days ago?

"But-t-t why?" I stutter feeling hopeless and pathetic.

Robbie's eyes soften even more and he's got an apologetic look on his face. "Because..." he moves his hand to rub his forehead, "...because I'm in love with your sister."

And just like that everything can fall apart. I knew it was coming, I really did but it didn't do anything to soften the blow.

So when Robbie tries to move forward to give me a hug or something I instinctively step away and carry on moving. I don't want to be like this. Not anymore.

I continue to walk back into the reception room, but this time trying to be confident in myself and me. I don't need anyone to help me anymore. I promise myself that in the future I won't be the same person. I'll be confident and happy and I won't hesitate. I'll be the person I should be – the person that can take care of herself and doesn't allow silly things like this to dampen her mood.

I'll be better – I'll be free.

Dave

It's been fourteen years since I've seen her so I think it's safe to say that I didn't have a clue how things were going to play out. Not that anything has gone bad necessarily. On the whole things have gone quite well I think. But that's just me.

I managed to speak to Georgia before – after the ceremony although she's stayed far away from me since. Which isn't too surprising I guess, she's hardly one to face her problems head on. Not that I'm a problem or anything. But she probably thinks that.

Even if I thought our talk went well she no doubt doesn't agree. Although that's got to be due to the fact that I practically ordered a paternity test. But why shouldn't I? I have a right to know if Bryony is my kid. If Georgia won't tell me herself I'll just have to find out his way.

Robbie probably already knows. They seem pretty tight – no shock there. He was dancing with her before. I knew he would still have feelings for her. He's not as strong as me – at least I was able to get on with my life.

Or so I thought.

When did it happen that my life was turned upside down? Well for the second time anyway – the first clearly being when Gee told me she was pregnant all those years ago.

It wasn't long ago – three, four weeks maybe? But that changed everything for me. Originally I wasn't going to come to the wedding. I didn't want to come and pretend to be a part of the lives of people that I didn't even know anymore.

But then I found out. And I knew I had to come. I had to come and find out things for myself and also find out whether Bryony was my daughter. I need to know this.

Throughout my adult life I've constantly reassured myself that me not being in Georgia's (and I guess Bryony's) life was a good thing – it was what was right. I didn't need her anymore and she wouldn't affect my happiness. And right before I saw them both in the Church I reminded myself of this – that I did make the right choice all those years ago. This is what I believe.

Or it was. Right up until about five minutes ago – five minutes ago when I saw Georgia and Bryony laughing and dancing together in front of me. They were having fun and relaxed and happy. And me, I was sat at my table doing something I told myself I would never do – I wished that I was up there with them. I actually wanted to be a part of what they had together.

It was then that I realised that fourteen years ago I made the biggest mistake of my life. I should never have left or detached myself from Georgia. Because Bryony, she seems amazing. And if I could do anything, it would be to go back in time, stay with Gee and see Bryony grow up.

I should have hesitated that night. I should never have snapped. I should have been in Bryony's life. Maybe now it's too late.

Review if you likeddd and have ponderings about stuff going on!

horns out ;)