What If – Chapter 7

A.N: So again sorry for the massive delay – I hope there are still a few of you reading! Real life suddenly got very busy. Thanks so much to everyone who took the time to comment of the last chapter, it means a lot and is really encouraging me to keep writing. So this What If was suggested by Television Lover – I hope you like it! Please leave a review letting me know what you think. Enjoy and Happy New Year!

Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy – the closest I have is my very yummy Patrick Dempsey calendar!

What If Meredith had left with Derek after the prom (2x27)?

"Meredith?.."

There it was...her choice laid out in front of her. Finn was looking between her and Derek, gradually piecing everything together. He took a step towards Meredith but she instinctively stepped back towards Derek. Finn was sweet and caring and unmarried but it was what he wasn't that bothered Meredith more. He wasn't Derek. He didn't drive her crazy, he didn't make it impossible for her to feel normal, he didn't make her sick to her stomach thinking about his wife touching her with his hands. Finn was the guy you got to pretend to be your boyfriend in high school because you parents would approve while you secretly dated the motorcycle-riding badass who you drunkenly made out with at parties. Derek was...Derek, the no-longer-motorcycle-riding badass brain surgeon who you fell in love with after drunken sex on your living room floor. He was capable of more passion and intensity in one look than Finn had been since she met him.

"Meredith?" it was Finn's voice, more insistent than Derek's which broke into her thoughts. This was it...decision time, 'or not' Meredith thought as she turned on her heel and ran towards the hospital doors. She had made it all the way to her car before she realised that her purse and her car keys were still in her locker...inside the hospital. Cursing herself for leaving it behind she turned to sneak back into the building hopefully avoiding Finn, and Derek, and Addison, and Callie and Bailey if she could manage it. But as she turned she crashed into someone, a distinctly male someone.

"Crap" muttered Meredith as she slipped off of her heel, her ankle twisting painfully.

"Crap?" grinned Derek as he grabbed her arms to steady her. "You're trying to avoid me."

"Yes" said Meredith smiling at the memory of the strikingly similar conversation they had had outside the hospital after Bailey had caught them in Derek's car. "But I also have to go and check on Izzie and my purse is inside and so is Addison, and Finn.. " Meredith trailed off but Derek understood straight away.

"Come on" he said nodding in the direction of his car, "I'll drive you home." Before Meredith could object or even think about what would happen if she was seen getting into Derek's car minutes after she had run away from the guy she was supposed to be dating Derek's hand was on her back and was guiding her towards his car. He opened the door and she slid gratefully inside, hoping that no one had seen her.

The drive back to Meredith's was silent but the atmosphere was so charged that Meredith was expecting to see sparks crackling in the air above their heads. She thought back to the events of the past few hours. Doc dying, the brush of Derek's hand in the vet's office, the prom, Derek looking at her, the dirty-adulterous-exam-room-sex, finding Izzie clinging to Denny's dead body...if the last few hours had taught her anything it was that you never know what's around the corner, and that you should take chances before they're gone. Derek's voice broke into her reverie, "Mer, we're here". Meredith looked over at the man she loved. His eyes were tired and his hair was unkempt from both hers and his hands running through it but he was still perfect, still McDreamy. If this was her chance she should take it. "I don't know what to say to her," she admitted quietly.

"Losing a patient is never easy," Derek replied, a little surprised that she was confiding in him after the long silence of the journey. Meredith could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, for Denny, for Izzie, for Derek, for herself and she said "Denny wasn't just a patient. They were in love. He proposed, they were going to get married..." She looked up at Derek, "he was her happily ever after." Neither Meredith nor Derek noticed how or when the shift had occurred but suddenly they weren't talking about Izzie and Denny anymore and they both knew it. "Losing the one you love is unbearable" murmured Derek reaching out and gently stroking Meredith's cheek. Meredith closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, allowing the rest of the world to disappear for a few minutes. "Come on," he said "I'll take you in, I can help, I'll make tea or something. You need people around," he finished quietly.

Meredith nodded and got out of the car. Derek followed her up to the door and she knocked softly not even bothering to reach for the spare key. The door was pulled violently open by an angry-looking Cristina. "Where have you been?" she hissed " I am totally out of my depth here, Izzie is the optimistic one, I don't do optimistic plus this is clearly a time for hugging and I don't hug." She suddenly noticed Derek standing behind Meredith and raised an eyebrow at Meredith. "He drove me home. I left my purse at the hospital, he's here to help." Cristina just rolled her eyes and moved aside to let Meredith and Derek walk inside.

The sight that greeted them was a surreal one. Izzie was seated at the island, still in her gown, flanked on either side by Alex and George. George was awkwardly patting Izzie's arm in an attempt to be comforting while Alex was lost in his own world staring straight ahead. The remnants of Izzie's tears were evident from the mascara tracks down her cheeks but she had stopped crying and was staring straight ahead, not seeing anything. A few eyebrows raised at the sight of Derek behind Meredith but nobody said anything.

"Dr Stevens," Derek's voice broke into the hush "you should get changed." Izzie looked up at Derek looking like a child lost in the woods, nodded and began making her way out of the kitchen. As she passed Derek he put his hand on her arm and muttered quietly "I know it doesn't feel like it right now but it will get better. It feels unbearable, like you'll never be happy again but you will. Denny would want you to be happy again. And just because you're happy doesn't mean you've forgotten Denny. Don't feel guilty about living and being happy. Life is too short to be miserable, and Denny wouldn't want that." Izzie nodded again and left the room leaving the others in a stunned silence. Derek immediately began moving around the kitchen making drinks for everyone and Meredith couldn't help notice how well he fit in here in her kitchen. He looked at home, more comfortable than she had seen him since Addison arrived.

"Um...Dr Shepherd" stammered George, "how did you know what to say? We've been trying to get through to her since we got back and nothing worked." Derek turned and looked at the younger man who had fallen in love with the same woman as him and sighed. "I know what it's like to lose someone you love. It's the same thing my mom said to my when my dad died." George's mouth formed a small 'o' and Derek was forced to turn away to hide the sudden surge of emotions that he couldn't control. Seeing how he was overcome Meredith walked up to Derek and wrapped her arms around his waist leaning her head against his back. There was the sound of a scuffle behind them and Cristina's voice hissed "back off O'Malley, I wanna watch this." There was more muttering before Cristina finally gave in. "Fine, I'll go. But if they end up having sex on the counter, it's on you" she said loudly as George and Alex dragged her out of the room.

Derek took a deep breath, "two guys shot my Dad. For his watch. My mom had saved up for it. They came into the store and shot him. It only takes a minute for your whole life to be turned upside down, a split second and your world changes completely. He would have loved you"

At these words Meredith clung to Derek even tighter, suddenly she wasn't the only one who was broken. Izzie was broken, Derek was broken, and Burke had been shot so he was probably broken too. Before she could do anything Derek broke out of her grasp and made his way towards the front door turning back to Meredith as he out his hand on the door handle, "life is too short not to be happy Mer" and with that he was gone.

Two months later

"Calm down, Mer, it's Derek" Izzie said as she sat cross-legged on Meredith's bed watching her friend flinging clothes around her room in a desperate attempt to find something to wear for her second first date with Derek.

After leaving Meredith's house the evening of the prom Derek had gone straight to Addison and said he wanted a divorce, admitting that the love he had for Meredith wasn't fading, if anything it was getting stronger and that he was sorry that they hadn't been able to make their marriage work and taking the blame entirely on himself. Addison understood and wished him well and two weeks later was on a flight to L.A to begin work at the practice run by her best friend Naomi. Their divorce was finalised two weeks later and that very day Meredith was on her way home when her cell phone started ringing...

I'm told dating begins with a casual invitation to dinner?

Does it?

Yes, so Meredith, would you like to go to dinner with me?

Meredith had managed to resist him while she worked through all her feelings of doubt and guilt finally deciding that she was, in her words, ready to lean into the fear to get her happy ending and that it was her turn to be happy.

All this led up to tonight and her current crisis about what she was going to wear. "I know its Derek, Iz, but it's still a date and you're supposed to be nervous on dates." Izzie just shrugged and continue to flick through the magazine she was holding "at least you already know the sex is good" she said and was hit in the head with a pillow that Meredith had flung in her direction.

"Seriously Mer, McDreamy wouldn't care if you turned up in sweats or naked, actually he might prefer you to be naked but he's so disgustingly in love with you it wouldn't matter what you wore," said Cristina walking in and sitting next to Izzie "oh, and he's downstairs."

"What?!" shrieked Meredith as she pulled on a black fitted sweater and jeans "crap, crap, crap" she muttered as she ran around her room trying to find her other shoe, preferably the other black boot but she was in such a rush that she probably would have settled for any other black shoe if it got her out the door faster.

"Mer, Derek's waiting downstairs" said George poking his head into Meredith's room.

"I know George," snapped Meredith "I just need my other shoe – crap, don't tell him that, he'll think I'm a complete mess compared to Addison who probably had a pair of shoes to match everything she owned and never had to face the possibility of going on a date wearing only one shoe"

Cristina stood up and grabbed Meredith by the shoulders cutting her off in mid-ramble "Meredith, pull yourself together. Derek. Chose. You. Addison is gone, he wants you, he wants to marry you and have lots of sex and McBabies. Now go." She thrust Meredith's other shoe into her hand and pushed her out of the door and towards the top of the stairs. Meredith stumbled but at the top of the stairs she stopped and took a deep breath, she could just see the top of Derek's head as he paced at the bottom of the stairs. She smiled, pulled on her shoes and walked down the stairs to find her happy ending.

A.N: Thanks for reading – let me know what you think or any suggestions for other what ifs.