Ok so I know I've been like the least active person over the last month (or however long it's been since my last update) so sorry about that but I'm here! and have bring excuses... what a gift I know...

see first it was my 18th birthday weekend (woop!) but then right after that I became ill & was pretty much as useful as a slug for a week... not good... just beginning to feel better now.

but I'm here! and I'm updating finally so thanks for waiting... also some good & bad news:

*BAD: I'm taking a break from this story after the next chapter (10 in total). NO, i'm NOT stopping, just taking a break then I will return with the 2nd half of this story. I just need time to focus on the work I've missed being ill & do some other stuff8

*GOOD: speaking of other stuff, I was reading through my first story - Crashing PANTS & Crushing Camels and have decided to get started on the threquel once I've done the next chapter of this. Also, while I remember let me apologise for the awful grammer & lack of spell check in that old story (and probably this one too... :o ) Hopefully I'm a better writer now... hopefully... (:

Changes

Sunday 4th October

Libby

My first week of Uni is over and it's safe to say it's nothing like I thought it would be. I must remind myself to change my opinions of things in the future. Because trust me, I couldn't have been more wrong about this.

I arrived around lunch time on Monday, depressed and scared no end because I was arriving later than everyone else and had recently been embarrassed beyond recognition. But now I know I shouldn't have been worried, not at all.

And as for Robbie, despite what I'm feeling at the moment, I know I should be grateful to him. I don't know exactly how it happened, but coming to Uni and reflecting over how things were left... I just felt a change as cheesy as that sounds. Suddenly I didn't care anymore – I became strangely confident and assure of myself, something I don't think I've ever felt. And I guess I owe it to Robbie in a weird kind of way.

I'm not sure exactly what it was that I felt for him, maybe I never will know. And I don't even know if I'm over him as such... but getting there maybe... yes.

Fresher's week was nothing like I imagined – and I mean that in a positive way. I can't believe everything I've been missing out on as a teenager; dancing, parties, having fun. I hate to admit it but Bryony was right – I didn't have fun before.

But that's changed now. And I want to do everything I can to make sure I am a fun person and I have fun – even if it'll be quite tricky changing from the old me to the old old me at first. But if there's a place to do that, it's Uni alright. I've drank more this week than I have in a lifetime. I mean, me and the girls used to drink a bit of wine here and there but never drink drink like I have done here.

I have to say, it wasn't the most thrilling thing, throwing up in a toilet at half five in the morning just after getting in on your first night in a new town but I guess it is part of the whole ritual welcoming into Uni right? Well I'll say it is whenever anyone asks. If I tell them that is.

I've met some great people so far... and some not so great ones. I've already made friends with the majority of people on my corridor, especially with one girl in particular called Holly. It's quite odd really, because she's not the sort of person I would usually be friends with – she's the sort of person Gee would be friends with. She's loud and crazy and fun, and the fun people's definition of fun, not my fun. Although like I've said that's all changing now...

I've not spoken to my parents or anyone since Monday. That's how mad it is here. And I'm not even that intimidated by it all, although I think that's mostly due to my desire to down as much alcohol as possibly on my first night in order to forget about Robbie.

But hey, it worked! And now I've settled in... I like to think.

I've finally been able to relax today after a hard week of partying – it's harder than you'd think; harder that I'd thought! But no going out tonight because lectures and stuff are starting tomorrow. I think I should give mum and dad a ring now but I want to ring Gee first – I'm guessing she would appreciate all the things I have to tell her (me getting wasted etc) a lot more than my parents would.

So yeah, Gee it is.

"Hello?" Someone answers and I feel all the crazy and fun and happy progress I've made in the past week suddenly slip away beneath me. But I won't let it go. No.

"Oh hi Robbie," I say as casually as I can manage... which is probably not casual at all but at least I managed to get some coherent words out.

Robbie takes his time in answering and I don't know whether it makes me feel happy or not that he is possibly nervous about speaking to me. But I guess he knows it's me because next he says;

"Err right... sure, erm, do you want me to get Gee?"

I pause then and decide what would be the best thing to say, deliberating how far to take my new found confidence. "Whatever," I eventually spit out though immediately regret it as it didn't sound casual or aloof like I intended but more like a common chav. Great. "How are you?" I add, apparently braver than I originally thought.

I can hear Robbie walking through my sister's house as he takes his time to answer, making me wonder for the first time what he's actually doing at Gee's house answering her phone. Not that I care or anything.

"Erm great," he says though it's clearly a lie. Is that good or bad? "I... how are you finding Uni?" he asks and suddenly a feel an urge to hit him. Not that it's possible. But still...

"It's amazing!" I blurt out, scaring myself with my own enthusiasm. I really have changed. "Everyone is nice and the town is great and I can't wait to start my course tomorrow."

"Well that's fantastic," Robbie tells me and I think he's being sincere. "I'll hand you over to Gee now... bye Libby."

I frown despite myself and just manage to mutter, "bye," back before Gee grabs the phone in order to shout, "HELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" at me. You know, just to make sure I don't have any hearing at all when going to my first lectures tomorrow.

"Hello," I say back, a whisper in comparison.

"Libs!" She screams, "How are you!?"

"Erm... fine... good... great!" I stutter, finally deciding on the right word. "You were right Gee – Uni is really good and it's so much better now I'm here."

Gee laughs down the phone, "Well you know, not everyone's got a noggin' like mine."

I smile without realising at hearing her voice and say, "So what have I missed at home?" Although come to think of it perhaps that's not the best question to ask...

"It's... up and down," Georgia says a lot more reserved this time. It makes me wonder if Robbie is still in the room and she's holding back because of that. Unless he left? Unless he doesn't leave anymore?

Oh shit – what if he's living with her? I mean he told me he loved her? But has he told her that? Is that why he's round at her house? Are they together together? I have to know.

But I can't ask. Can I? She is my sister. And he is... well he's... Robbie... urgh...

"What's Robbie doing round?" I say before thinking enough to stop myself.

Gee isn't really phased by the question though. I mean why would she be? This clearly shows that Robbie hasn't said anything about the kissing incident. I don't know if that makes me happy or sad...

"Oh he's just saying hey," Georgia answers casually, "He seems to be doing that a lot recently. Still it's all gravy goodness, Robbie is cool."

Ok so I guess he's not in the room because I know Gee wouldn't say that about Robbie in front of him.

"Yeah..." I mutter, "so are you two... erm... well you know..." Am I even making sense?

Well to Gee I apparently am (not that she makes sense most of the time) because next she says, "No... not really..." she pauses then says, "well not at all in fact." She doesn't sound happy about it though, she sounds sad... or confused even... "But I think-"

I interrupt her then. I think I know what she was going to say and so I don't want her to say it. Ok that came out rather weirdly but I know what I mean. No matter what 'changes' I've made this week I really don't think I'm ready to hear my sister talking about her feelings for Robbie or the possibilities of them getting together. No.

So yeah I interrupt her by saying, "Oh sorry Gee I have to dash" (what a stupid word – why am I using it?) "I'll call soon though ok?"

Georgia doesn't answer for a few seconds and I just know that she's nodding down the phone like I can see her.

"Oh right yeah!" She eventually blabbers, "Sure thing, have fun at Uni!"

"Thanks," I say before hanging up, "Say hi to everyone for me." Well... almost everyone.

I am so weak. Why can't I just forget about him? But I did forget about him! It's not fair, why did he have to answer the bloody phone? Idiot. Well that's not fair he's really an idiot. But strangely enough calling him one did just make me feel a little better. Funny how the mind works isn't it?

"Hey Liberty!" Someone just shouted from the corridor. Speaking of idiots... here is an actual one.

He's called Justin and one of the 'not so great' people I mentioned before - possibly because he is probably the most egotistical, cockiest boy on the planet. Oh, and he is definitely not shy when it comes to showing an interest in the opposite sex. I wonder how my STDs he's got... well actually I'd rather not think about it.

He's been trying to get into Holly's kickers all week. I'm not really sure her view on things other than she likes to flirt but has assured me it'll never go that far with him. She's very in control over things like that though – maybe I should try and stand up for myself more – it'd fit in with the 'changed' me after all.

I repeat this to myself as I open the door to my room, ready to face whatever Justin is planning to throw at me.

Robbie

I can't believe it's been a whole week since the wedding. Although I suppose not that much has happened exactly. Well not for normal people but for me, it seems like a lot. I mean for one I'm staying in a house with Rosie, Sven, Jools, Mabs and Ellen which is strangely amusing – I'm not normally one for the whole crazy side of things but it's actually not too bad. In fact I like it.

And I guess this is one of the many reasons why I've changed my mind. I was going to leave you see; I was going to carry on travelling like I've always done with my line of work. But this past week has made me realise I don't want to leave. I don't want to keep moving constantly and never have a friend on the doorstep or neighbours I don't know the first names of.

So I've decided to stay – here. I'm not sure exactly how it'll work at the moment, and that thought is definitely scary. But I've made the commitment – I quit my job yesterday. Luckily they took it well, thanked me for my work and even promised to write a reference which I'm very grateful for.

And as rude as it is, I'm sure Jas and Tom won't mind if I carry on staying for a while after they get back until I find a place of my own. I mean if I can look after this place with the most eccentric people on earth living in it then I'm sure staying out of my brother's and Jas' way won't be too much of a problem.

I know things are going to be tough at first. What with me being house-less and job-less. But I'm prepared to be positive and work through it all. I can't wait to tell everyone – Tom will be happy, he's been coaxing me to come 'home' for years. Well, now he'll get his wish.

That's why I'm round at Gee's at the moment – I've come to tell her that I'm staying put. I don't know why but I wanted her to be the first one to know. Well, actually I do know why – it's because, (as I so perfectly admitted to her little sister who I may have kissed) I love her.

And besides that 'drama', if one would call it that, there's the thing with Bryony. Georgia still hasn't told me or Dave who her father is – although I have to say it seems to aggravate him a lot more than me. I really am quite shocked by his reaction (not that I've said anything) – it's definitely very, very different than what Georgia said he was like the first time he found out anything. Although to be fair that was fourteen years ago.

Part of me is glad that I finally admitted (albeit not to the most ideal person) that I'm in love with Georgia. I think it's one of those things that most people prefer to keep inside them and hide – especially with the sort of circumstances surrounding us.

I feel like I'm acting differently – well I am. But I don't want to be. It's just annoying and I feel like there's something holding me back. It's almost as if I need her to know how I feel before I can continue normally again.

But of course I'm way too much of a wuss to put myself out there just yet. So I think I'll settle for telling her the staying here thing.

"So I have something to tell you," I say when Gee puts down the phone after talking to Libby.

She nods at me, "Oh yeah, go ahead."

"I don't have a job," I say for some reason – possibly the most stupid way of describing my news – and why do I feel a sweat coming on? Why am I nervous about this?

Gee frowns, "What do you mean you- did you get fired?" She asks worriedly.

I shake my head feeling exactly like the idiot I'm now portraying, "No, no, I fired myself- I quit!" I managed to get out, "I quit."

I can tell Georgia is holding back a grin when she says, "Why?" Apparently my situation is amusing to her. Great.

"Because..." I try to find the right words, "Because I don't want to move around anymore. I want to stay in one place. Here."

Gee's face breaks but I'm thankful that it's formed a smile. "You're going to live here? Forever?"

I nod quickly, willing her to be enthused by the development.

And I guess she is because the next thing she does is run over to me and throw her arms around my neck, hugging me happily.

"That's fantastic!" She says before pulling away from me, "Where are you going to live?"

I shrug, "Not sure at the moment but I'm looking – hopefully Jas and Tom will take me in," I grin and she does back. It suddenly makes my heart hurt.

"So is Libby ok?" I ask to distract myself and because I want to know whether Libby has said anything about... well me and her.

Gee waves her hand around casually as she moves to sit down at the table. I join her. "Oh she's fine." Georgia says, "I knew she would be."

"Good... good" and reply then really decide to push my luck by saying, "And you? Are you ok?"

She frowns momentarily before trying to smile again, "Of course... why wouldn't I be?" she says, her voice breaking just a little bit.

"Well it's just..." oh no what am I saying? "... you haven't told us yet... about... about Bryony."

Georgia snaps her head up suddenly to meet my eyes before looking away again as a silent answer. I should stop right then of course and not say anything else but of course I can't...

"I know it's not easy but if you've told her then you should..." I run my hand through my hair, agitated, "it's been four days."

Then Gee suddenly shakes her head before putting it into her hands. Oh shit I've upset her.

"I didn't tell her," she mumbles, "I couldn't tell her."

I frown a bit then and wonder out loud, "What do you mean?"

"She wouldn't let me," Gee exasperates, "She said she didn't to know which one of you is her dad."

A little something triggers in me then and I say, "But she knows it's me or Dave?" That would explain why she's been a little shifty around me these last few days.

Georgia nods without looking at me so I shift round to put a hand on her arm, "Don't worry, I'm sure she'll come round."

Gee leans against me a bit and mumbles, "I'm not sure she will. She can get very set in her ways you know?"

I laugh and give her a little nudge, "Kind of like someone else I know then?"

Georgia breaks a smile then and it pleases me no end. Then we just sit together for a while in silence before Gee speaks again saying;

"She said I could tell you two though." My body suddenly tenses. This is it? She's going to tell me? Now? I'm going to know...

I try to keep my voice from shaking as I say, "N-now?" but it's rather pointless because Georgia shakes her head.

"No. But soon," she promises. "I will very soon."

And against my better judgement I believe her.

Gee

Ok so things have started to change a whole lot recently. Every fandango is being turned upside down. How strange. For one, I've seen Dave and Robbie more times in the past week than I have... well since I was an ickle kid of around fifteen years old. Oh how time flies.

And it's quite scary bananas saying this but I think I've actually gotten used to having the both being around – fair enough it's normally at different times but you get the nub and gist. Robbie was just here this second actually and five guesses as to what topic came up non-shockingly? Oh yeah, the 'daddy' one. Crap.

And I accidentally told him that Bry doesn't know – or rather refused to know. Which now means that I have somehow dug myself into a hole where I will be put with Robbie and Dave and not be allowed out until I tell them which one is Bryony's vati even though she won't know. Which is silly. And stupid.

Seeing Dave and Robbie again has made me feel a tad funny again. I really thought I was maturing and gaining so much sophis-ness. But apparently Big G was just messing with me. How rude. But I can't believe what I've been missing... I really am enjoying having both of them back in my life again. Not that I'd ever admit that of course – I still have my glaciosity... ish.

There's something else as well that's making me... think. (Wow, I know). You see I was round at Jas' the other day when Jools was there weeping over Rollo and Sam and... well it made me think about my own situation – or how it used to be with Dave and Robbie. She was so crushed because she'd gone from having them both to having no one... and trust me if anyone does, I know what that feels like, even if it didn't exactly pan out like that for me before.

But it still made me think about me and Dave and Robbie now. And I guess I'm scared to my inner nungas that something will happen and cause another argument and that I'll lose both of them forever. That would suck. And I know Bryony is being off with both of them (again due to the Vati issues) but I just wish she'd come around and spend a bit of time with them. I think she'd really like them. Well actually I know she would because she already did like Robbie... before all this mess.

Still Robbie was positive. He seems to think Bry'll change her mind. Maybe I'll get him to speak to her... or maybe Libs – Bry listens to her.

Speaking of Libs she rang earlier – seems to be enjoying herself at Uni just like moi said she would. Like people needed more convincing – I'm clearly le genius and mastermind. At least now I can use that in an argument though...

Corr I'm tired. And slightly worried. I've not seen Bryony all day. Well actually that's a lie since I did see her this morning after ever so accidentally waking her up. But is it really my fault if my devil-ridden straighteners burn me and hence force me to run into my daughter's room screaming for water?

No, it's not. Blame the straighteners.

Anyway after she grudgingly got out of bed (which in itself is a pretty big shocker since Bryony is actually the morning person) she slammed right out her room and into the bathroom. And I wasn't going to disturb her in there. I've learnt from Vati's beardy mistakes.

She soon came out though just ten minutes later – how in the name of all things clean does she get ready so fast? It'd take me ten minutes to run my bath water alone. And after that I heard Bry rush to her room, get dressed (super speedily again) before running out the house.

She didn't even tell me where she was going! She always tells me! Most of the time I don't actually listen but she does always tell me...

I think I have a slight inkling as to where she was heading though... see I was vair sneaky and sneaked into her room like a sneaky thing when she was in the bathroom to find a birthday card on her desk. And then I realised that it's her best friend Callum's birthday today.

Well if they are still friends, which I thought they weren't... but I haven't had chance to really ask her about it because of the whole Vati issues going on right now. But there's a pretty good possibility it was for Callum since he had a birthday around the same time last year... maybe...

Bryony has been away a long while though. She left at quarter to 11ish and it's now gone five. I wonder what she's up to. Should I be worried? Or should I be happy that my daughter has found such a useful way of spending many, many hours with her friend.

Ok I don't like the sound of that.

Drat why doesn't she have a mobile phone? I could ring her. I must make a note to get her one for her next birthday, or bribe someone else into doing it. That'll make her super duper happy and possibly even make up for the whole Dave/Robbie business. I'm sure I would have liked my Vati sehr sehr more if he had given me a mobile.

Po and Hunky are back from their honeymoon... god knows when. If they have any sense they'll extend it from two weeks to ten. Especially with what they have to come home to. It's like rats have overtaken their house. Scary.

There's Robbie... Rosie... Sven... Ellen... Mabs... and Jools. Now all that is just asking for trouble if you ask me. Not that many people do...

It's no wonder Robbie has spent so much time over at mine. I would too. Plus he's been giving me regular updates. For instance I learnt from him this morning that Jools stopped blubbing on Friday and is now suddenly on a cooking craze. As in she's just constantly making food every second of the day.

I am so in the wrong house right now. They all got fed huge helpings of Yorkshire puddings yesterday for tea. Me and Bryony had beans on toast. Although it was tip top if I say so myself and I do.

Robbie says it's her way of dealing with all the breakup-stuff. Fair does. But I'd be able to support her much more if she came over here and cooked. I told Robbie to tell her that. He laughed.

I was serious.

Mabs is apparently missing her "toy boy" as well. She'll be off soon then to get some action. Some people only think of themselves.

Oh my lord Sandra this is good! I just found a postcard on the floor of the hall from JASSY! How ridiculously sad is that?! She's on her honeymoon yet is bothering to send postcards. Oh dear. Maybe Hunky is not all that in the bedroom department.

Not that I really want to think about that right now. Or... ever for that matter. Ew.

My life is clearly already messed up enough without having Po and Hunky's unfortunate sex life in my head. GO AWAY!

Bry

Ok so this is weird. Things have so changed. So much.

Since right now, instead of handing over a birthday card to my best friend's fourteenth birthday I am sitting in a random field with someone who I used to hate but who now, as it turns out, has quite a bit in common with me.

Yes, I'm with Nathan. Don't get me wrong, I didn't plan to meet up with him – but as I was approaching Cal's house to give him his card I saw Nathan come out. That didn't help my already miserable mood. And I'm pretty sure I took it out on him. But surprisingly enough he didn't hate me or anything.

In fact he took me to one side (or one field) and helped cool me down. Plus he was told by Callum to tell me some rather... crappy news apparently. See basically Cal feels sorry for me since he thinks I love him which I think is pretty arrogant of him since I only said I felt the same way he did – although I also said I thought he liked me.

But the point is he thinks it'll be better for us both if we don't hang out as much. Which is stupid and ridiculous and annoying because I was going to stay away from him anyway! Well after giving him his birthday card. And no there was not a little part of me that thought maybe he would see me and like me again... not a bit.

I can't believe I'm here with Nathan though. Not fighting. Actually getting along. So weird.

"My dad wants to get in touch with me," he said, carrying on the conversation from while I was daydreaming.

I shrugged. Better to not seem too intrigued right? It's only messed up dad stuff like I have. Except not as bad.

"So do you think I should meet with him?"

I turned and raised my eyebrows at him, "Are you seriously going to listen to my opinion anyway because you know what it'll be."

Nathan gave a small smile, "Fair enough. I have already agreed to meet him. I just don't understand why you don't get all this."

I sighed. Here we go again. I should ban these sorts of talks, "Look I just don't care about my dad ok."

"But surely you want to know a little bit?" Nathan pressed. Oh yeah he knows about the whole who's my dad thing. Dave? Robbie? Dave? Robbie? Yeah that stuff. And yeah he wants me to find out. Nosy bugger.

"Nope." I said standing up, "And I have to go now. I'm afraid you've managed to make me uncomfortable."

Nathan grinned. I wasn't joking. "Fine... but think about it."

"Of course, of course," I said dramatically as I walked away. Just when I thought things couldn't change anymore, I'm making jokes with Nathan. Odd.

Now, which way's home?

Thanks everyone, I know it wasn't as long but another one is coming up - a good one! before a break.

I know I'm officially a moaner now but PLEASE please keep reviewing I really appreciate it. Your reviews make me smileeeee xD

Horns out! ;)