Ok so yes I know this is later than any piece of writing can probably ever be and I am sorry about that. Although I'm sure a few of you felt better writing those angry reviews - and if they didn't, whatever. I know I may deserve them for taking my time and I'm sorry, but I really have been busy.
For those of you who waited for this chapter then I thank you, you are the reason I write fanfictions :)
And on that note, I really don't know what to do after this. So please, if you are still interested in my work, let me know what you would like to read of mine next,
Thank you for your time, it's much appreciated,
Enjoy
horns out ;)
Revelations
Thursday 8th October
Bryony
My life at school is now a joke. I mean, before it was slightly fun and a tad interesting but now there is absolutely nothing worth going for. Well, besides the education but I don't need that.
And no, I'm not going all rebellious and 'breaking out' or anything. Quite the contrary I'm being a complete loser and am spending half my life in my room working because I have nothing better to do. Or so it seems.
But yeah, school... I have lost my one and only friend; Callum. Not only is he not being friendly with me anymore but he's basically ignoring my existence. And maybe I'm just being paranoid but I'm pretty sure he's doing his best to erase every bit of 'me' from his life.
For instance, me and him always used to moan about the rubbish refectory food and would specially sneak round the back of the art block to eat our home-made sandwiches in peace.
But this week, this week I've found him sitting in the cafeteria with all his 'new' friends (because I'm so easily replaceable) eating the stupid crappy food they sell there. I know I'm only thirteen so not technically an 'expert' but I'm pretty sure your taste buds can't change in the matter of a week or so.
And that's another thing; suddenly Cal is 'super' popular. I don't get. Sure, before he had a lot of friends, but not really close ones – he was just the sort of person that everyone could get on with. But now, it's like he's a bloody celebrity and only seems to travel round in packs. Odd.
Nathan. There's a different topic, though in some ways entwined. It's strange but I think I quite like him now – when's he's not being a prick of course. But oddly enough he's managed to keep that to a minimum over the last few days. At school he's in the "Cal crowd" as I know call it but he still gives me a small smile every now and then. True, it is when no one else is looking but the thought is there.
We've been seeing each other after school a bit as well. I reckon he feels sorry for me since I officially have no friends my age on the face of the earth... but so far I haven't scared him away.
Also I think it's because of our similar 'dad' situation. He planned to meet his you see. In fact it was today – just after school. I'm not usually this nosy but I'm actually intrigued as to how it went. So much so that I may even be looking forward to seeing him.
But only to find out the gossip as such. Of course.
I'm sat on my bed at the moment, going through more homework. Well actually using the word 'more' is a pretty false definition. I'm just going over everything from lessons because I've finished all my 'set' homework and like I said earlier – my life is a sham and I'm a loser with nothing interesting to do anymore.
Georgia is worried about me. I know because she keeps sticking her head in my room every five minutes and yes she is naturally nosy but she's never been that nosy before. It's very annoying. I now understand what it was like for her in the diaries with her 'Vati' popping in all the time.
Although I can't be too sympathetic considering it's exactly what she's doing to me now.
And she keeps trying to corner me and trying to change my mind about the whole 'dad' problem. Which I will not cave on by the way. I don't care whether it was Robbie or Dave that knocked up my mum (oh god I hate that phrase). They were clearly both there around the time which is both... weird and strangely eww. But I refuse to dwell on whether my mum was 'cheating' or not. Although it did say in her diary she was last going out with Dave...
Oh whatever I don't care. At the moment I'm not upset with Gee at all.
Though I suppose that could change depending on whether she barges into my room in the next few minutes.
"Bry Bry"
Oh. So does this mean I'm 'in a tiff' with her then?
"Bry!" Gee shouted for the third time as she opened my door. Without knocking I may say. She really is liking invading my personal space right now.
"Yes?" I answered though refused to look up from my "homework". This is me being rude.
"Someone's on the phone for you," she said one in my room.
I snapped my head up to see her holding the phone, which would make sense if someone was on it. But who?
Did Callum ring? Has he decided he can't live without me and wants to be friends again? It would make sense, we've been best friends since... I can't even remember, so maybe he now knows that you can't just throw all that away. Because you can't. It's not right.
Yes, that's why he's ringing...
I rushed off my bed and grabbed the phone from Gee. She gave me the amused raised-eyebrows look before heading out into the corridor again. Wow, space. I'd forgotten what this was like. Although knowing Gee she'll probably be pressed against the other side of my door. Ahh well...
I sat tentatively on the edge of my bed while raising the phone to my ear, "Hello?" I practically whispered.
"Erm... hi Bryony." Nathan?
"Nathan?"
"Err yeah, that would be me." Oh.
"Oh."
He coughed, "Right, nice to speak to you too."
Oh crap. "Sorry," I said, "I just wasn't expecting you," I said, trying hard not to sound too disappointed.
"Of course you weren't," Nathan said, though not in the light, humorous tone I was hoping for. In fact he sounded rather agitated. "I need to see you," He blurted out, causing me to frown. I've known Nathan to be blunt before but this is just weird.
"Ok..." I began, not knowing quite what to say, "...do I get to know why?"
"No... not now." He said, exasperated, "I'll tell you later. Just, please come."
Ok he's actually worrying me a bit now, "Come where?" I asked.
"Erm..." he paused, "to the park. By the river ok?"
"Yeah alright," I said wondering why he chose the place that is mine and Callum's. Although didn't he say he'd been going there for a long time too? Just at night in the dark... creepy...
"Great, I'll see you in ten minutes," Nathan finished before putting the phone down.
Ten minutes? Great, so I guess I'm off out then. I could have been very busy at this current moment in time but does Nathan care about that? No, of course he doesn't.
But he did seem to be acting very strangely. So I will probably go there. Maybe.
Sat with my legs dangling over the river bank. He's not even here! Why isn't he here? This had better not be some sort of weird set-up as some kind of sick jok-
"Bryony!" I heard someone, Nathan, call. I turned around quickly to see him rushing over to where I was sat. I stood up at once, taking in the weary look on his face with apprehension. "You came." He registered.
Top marks to you, I felt like saying. But didn't. I don't think he would appreciate it too much at this current time. "Yeah..." I said shrugging, "I'm here... what do you want?"
Nathan stopped about three metres away from me. What's with the weird gap? Am I suddenly contagious or something? How rude that boy is. "I need to tell you something," he said quietly, making me instantly more curious than I already was.
Maybe it's about Callum! Perhaps Cal told Nathan something that he just has to pass on to me. Like how much Cal loves me or something. It could happen...
"Yes?" I said, taking an eager step forward, only to watch Nathan take a similar one backwards. Excuse me? What's up with him? "What's the matter with you?" I spat, annoyed with his behaviour.
Nathan closed his eyes for a moment before looking up to meet my gaze. "I met my dad."
Oh great, so now it's his daddy issues getting him down and he wants my help. Probably because I act like I don't give a toss about mine. Makes sense. Though shouldn't he be talking to someone he's closer with about stuff like this? Even if I do have a tad bit of experience in this area.
"Good for you," I said indifferently.
Nathan wouldn't tear his gaze from mine. But he wouldn't say anything else either. How infuriating.
"What?" I practically yelled. "Why are you staring at me like that?"
Nathan took a deep breath before taking a small step in my direction, saying as he went; "I think you need to know something about him."
Gee
A lot of weirder than weird things are happening today. Like earlier, after some boy phoned up and asked to speak to Bryony she took off out the house without so much of an explanation. Again. She's turning into quite the rebel chid.
I don't whether to be disappointed or proud. Those two really shouldn't co-inside should they?
And then there's the latest occurrence – or occurrences. Two of them. And they are both currently sitting in my living room.
It wasn't even like they gave me a choice as well. When I opened the door Dave basically barged past me saying something or other that I didn't quite catch and then Robbie slid in also – though at least at the decency to give me an apologetic look.
And now I'm heading back into that dreaded room like the twit I am. What are they doing here? They have no right to come into my house like this it's.... it's.... well it's not right is what it is. Or isn't...
"You're telling us now," Dave suddenly said, pointing his finger at me in a rather rude manner. I scowled at him and went to take a seat on the sofa. Dave frowned back but at least sat down opposite me.
"No," I told him, and sent a look Robbie's way as well to let him know I was talking to both of them. "I said I would tell Bryony first and she doesn't know yet so I can't tell you."
Robbie coughed awkwardly then, "I know Gee but-"
Dave cut him off. "I don't care what you said. You need to tell us." He gave me an exasperated look. "Georgia I need to know. Please, I need to know so I can clear my head."
How weird.
"You owe me this." He said quietly, causing Robbie to frown to his left.
"What?" Robbie questioned, "She doesn't owe you anything."
Dave diverted his attention from me to Robbie. Oh potatoes. I have a feeling this won't end well.
"Really? Is that what you think?" He spat, standing up and talking a step towards Robbie. He stood up too. Ahh crap.
"Yes it is." Robbie argued. "Why would Georgia owe you anything at all?"
Oooo he didn't say 'you' too nicely. Not nicely at all.
"How about because she SLEPT WITH YOU?"
Oh yeah there was that. But that was like 14 years ago.
"That was over TEN YEARS AGO!" Robbie shouted, "And you have no idea how ashamed she was and how all she wanted was for you to forgive her but you wouldn't! You gave it up. She owes you NOTHING!"
Dave gritted his teeth "You have no idea what-"
"SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!" I screamed. Wow, where did that come from? I am like a tip top controlling-type person who is the boss of her own... oh I don't know there's more important things at hand.
They shut up though. And looked at me in shock. Ok...
I looked down at my shoes because meeting either one of their eyes would be too awkward. "I... Dave's right. I... I should tell you guys."
--------
Dave smiles as I approach him. It's gorgey and makes me go a tad wobbly in the knees but I manage to carry on walking.
"Sex Kitty," he grins, "To what do I owe your presence on this fine evening?"
He's so happy. I almost don't tell him then. I certainly don't want to. I can't do this to him.
Dave must notice my reaction because his face suddenly turns serious and he takes one of my hands with his. "Gee what's wrong?"
I avoid his eyes and look down at the ground. I can't do it I can't do it. But of course I have to... I...
A tear drops falls down my cheek and Dave wipes it away with his finger which makes me want to actually die inside. He pulls me forward into a deep hug and just holds me for a while. Until I speak that is. And I know that everything will change.
"I'm pregnant." I say and right on cue Dave's body tenses around mine. I shut my eyes and hope that he won't react in a... well any way that I'm imagining in my head right now.
"You... erm, what?" Dave questions, pulling out of the hug but still keeping hold of my hand. He looks at me in a way that's asking me to tell him he misheard and I'm not really pregnant. I wish I could tell him that. I really do.
But instead I just nod my head slowly and more tears roll down my face. This time Dave doesn't wipe them away and my hand seems to fall out of his. "But... no, I mean we... oh my god," he mutters and I have a feeling it's to himself rather than me. So I just stand there not looking at him while he processes the news.
After an eternity Dave turns properly to me again and says, "Well do you... I mean, what should we do? I think there's some stuff available..."
I frown at him. He's not making any sense. Well not that I blame him. Then he continues;
"I mean I guess you want to erm... well you know... but we'll have to tell someone first... before..."
Now I really frown because in all that crap he just said I think I understand what he's saying. He's talking about getting rid of it. Just like that. What about m-
Hold on a pigging moment. What am I saying? Do I even want to keep the baby? Why do I feel... why am I upset that Dave is suggesting we get rid of it? This... this is all wrong... it should be... like we should...
Great, now I'm making even less sense than Dave.
"I... you think I should get rid of it?" I say in a whisper and look into his eyes.
He takes his time to answer. Like he's thinking about stuff. I want to quicken him up because I may just die waiting but then very slowly and purposely he nods his head. "I think... I think that would be the best for both of us." Dave finishes and begins walking around in front of me.
Maybe if I was thinking rationally and normal and... well as normal as I get when I haven't got a baby growing inside off me... well maybe if I was thinking like all that then I would agree with Dave. Perhaps his suggestion is the right one.
So why don't I agree? Why do I suddenly want this baby? This is all so confusing. Damn hormones.
"I..." I begin and I can feel myself shaking as I say this, "I... would like to think... I want a choice as well."
Dave stops walking. He stops and stares at me looking more shocked than I've ever seen him before. Well... not many people would take me for the motherly type I guess...
"You want to keep it?" Dave exclaims.
"I... I didn't say that," I mutter and for some reason Dave doesn't like that answer. He doesn't like it at all.
"Georgia," he says and his voice is louder than before. He begins to walk back towards me, "this isn't a game, this isn't something you can have doubts about. You have to know what you want to do!"
I shudder from his shouting and involuntarily take a step back. I try to make my voice louder when I say, "I know that. But it's my baby I want a choice in the matter!"
"Well it's my baby too!" Dave screams at me and I freeze. I don't move – I couldn't move even if I wanted to. It's like all my senses and muscles have just frozen. I can't seem to think or do anything but I know that I have to. I have to say something soon otherwise Dave will...
But I can't lie about this. I just can't... this is bigger than anything...
Dave takes the last step closer to me, scrutinising my frozen self with his eyes. He can tell something is up and I can't turn away from him. His eyes are boring into mine but I can't look away. And soon he's going to know. He wasn't meant to know this... this... he didn't have to know this...
"Georgia," he says and it's a cross between anger and fear, "Georgia, tell me it's my baby."
I don't speak. I don't move. I don't say anything. And then his face just falls. And it's over like that. He knows. He knows I cheated on him. And I think this time I actually will die just from the look on Dave's face.
He steps far away from me and puts his face in his hand before saying, "Who?" really quietly that I almost didn't hear him. I wish I hadn't. I don't answer so he says, "Who?" a lot more forcefully and I know I need to answer. I wouldn't be able to lie right now anyway.
"Robbie," I whisper and I begin properly crying then. Saying it out loud hurts so much more. I didn't want to hurt Dave. I didn't mean to...
Dave sort of gives a sardonic laugh and it goes right through me. "Of course," he mutters in a tone that makes me think he's drunk. But of course he isn't. "It's got to be Robbie... who else right?"
I hate this. I want to be anywhere but here. No... Actually I want to be closer to Dave. I want him to not care and say everything will be alright and I want him to hold me like before but for longer and just not think about any of this.
"It was always Robbie with you," Dave says and his voice is getting louder again, "I was never good enough was I?!"
I shake my head desperately and attempt to walk to towards him but he just edges further back. "You know I'm right."
I shake my head again and whisper, "No... No that's not true I swear."
Dave gives that horrible laugh again, "Right, because I'm really going to believe you now. Why don't you go celebrate your baby with Robbie."
I manage to halt my blubbing for just a few seconds to say, "I never said it was his..."
"Oh wonderful!" Dave says clapping his hands together, "So you don't know whose it is? This just gets better. Well let me make it easier for you Georgia." I don't think I want him to. I don't want him to do anything... I don't want... I just...
"I don't care whose it is," Dave yells and I think with my tears I probably could cry a bloody river right now. "Because I'm done with this Georgia. With you. We're over, forever. I don't care what you do now with your life because from this moment I'm not in it. Go get rid of the stupid baby – it just represents everything wrong with our relationship."
I look up and meet his eyes and it feels like it's for the last time in... Forever like he said.
Dave shakes his head one more time and when he speaks his voice is back to a quiet whisper. "I loved you. I trusted you. Even when everything was telling me not to. But I still did. And you... you..." he starts to walk away and doesn't stop "...goodbye Georgia Nicolson."
And as I watch him leave I know that he will never stop. He's gone. Forever.
And I can't do anything but cry my heart out.
----------
Bry
I don't think I was thinking straight when I was running flat out to my house with Nathan. And then when I saw the cars of both Dave and Robbie outside that didn't help matters.
And to top things off when I opened the door and we both snuck inside we were greeted by angry shouting and yelling and general hateful stuff coming from the lounge. Maybe then I should have just barged straight in there telling them all what I now know. But for some bizarre reason I made Nathan pause so I could listen to what they were saying.
That's when I heard that Gee had in fact cheated on Dave with Robbie. I had suspected it of course, but I guess I never prepared my fully for the proof of it. But there it was, it had happened. And apparently my mum feels worse than anyone for it.
But she's not a bad person, even if she did do that. Her and Robbie had history – I have read her diaries so I do know. And it kind of feels like Robbie is my dad now. Even if it's not been confirmed. It would make sense – it would be a reasonable reason for Gee not wanting to tell Dave and continually putting it off. (This is the message I got from hearing them shout anyway).
I also heard Dave yelling that my mum 'owes' him. How dare he say that to her. How dare he bloody suggest such a thing after what Nathan's just told me. He has no right to. The lying, nasty, horrible man.
I clenched my fists when I heard Gee say that Dave was right. I can't believe he's made her think like that. She doesn't deserve that.
I clenched my fists tighter and resisted the urge to fly into the room and hit Dave. I think I may even have drawn blood – it was stinging a lot.
Nathan put a hand on my arm but I shrugged it off. I had to go in there and tell everyone. And I was going to.
But then Gee spoke again.
"I'll tell you," she whispered, and I leant with my ear pressed to the door – which is weird, because I was sure that I didn't want to know. But I guess I do...
"The father..." she gulped, "Bryony's dad is... it's..." Sniff sniff. "Dave."
Dave
Obviously I knew she would tell me at some point, but that doesn't draw away from how much of a shock it all is. Because truthfully I don't know how I should be feeling right now. Should I be happy? Angry? Disappointed?
No, definitely not the last one. No matter what, I know that Bryony is a great kid.
But it doesn't make sense. She's not supposed to be mine. It doesn't make sense. All this...everything that's happened was because of him, because of Robbie. And now... it's like he doesn't even matter.
And it really does leave me in a mess over what to do now. What is there to do now? My whole life has been turned upside down in the past month and there's no way I can get it back to normal. It's all been too much.
No one's spoken yet. Robbie sort of fell down onto the sofa in silence and is staring out the window. And Georgia...she's silent as well but her eyes are full of tears. Again – I don't know what to feel.
But I'm saved from having to figure it out because Gee then speaks again.
"I'm so sorry," she mumbles "I didn't... I didn't want to cheat..." oh. We're back on that. "I don't know what I was thinking... and I know I should have told you sooner but I couldn't. I just couldn't face seeing you again and feeling how I did that last time because I... I..."
I know she feels bad. Really, really bad. And I wish she would stop because despite what she might think, it's really not making me feel any better. If anything, just tonnes worse. Not that she'll realise that. And why would she?
"STOP APOLOGISING!" Someone suddenly shouts and all three of us turn our shocked expressions towards the door where an angry looking Bryony is stood. Great, just what this awkward
Situation needs. And I guess she heard...
"Bryony what are you-" Georgia begins but her daughter cuts her off. My daughter too I guess... that's odd to think.
"Stop apologising when it's HIM that should be doing that!" She yells and with so much force I actually feel intimidated. Although that might just be from what she just said. What does she mean by that?
"Bryony what do you mean?" Gee asks – which is just as well because I wasn't going to.
Bryony turns to glare at me. "Dave has some explaining to do."She growls but that isn't what gets me.
In fact I almost don't notice her words because behind her enters the last person on the planet I would expect, or rather want to find at Georgia's house.
Nathan.
I realise then that my game is up. That no matter what happens I'm at a loss. Everything's going to come and I could potentially lose everything that I've just gained. My whole month will be a wasted one and I'll go back to...
Go back to what? I don't know what...
Gee
"I think someone needs to explain something," Robbie says causing me to notice his presence in the room for a long while.
I nod in agreement and turn to Bryony. She doesn't look happy. "Bryony tell me what you mean."
She doesn't take her eyes off Dave but he is focused on Bry's friend, Nathan. What's up with that?
"Dave cheated on you mum." Bryony says. And the words sound even more foreign because she hardly ever calls me 'mum'.
"What?" I snap, glancing between Dave and Bryony quickly. What is that girl on about? How would she have any idea of what Dave did or didn't do when we were going out? This doesn't make sense.
"It's true," Bryony continues, and I see Dave rub his head gingerly. "Because Nathan here is his son."
My body freezes over to some effect as I register the teenage boy stood just behind my daughter. This cannot be happening – it can't be true.
"How... how old are you?" I manage to ask and I see Dave about to interrupt but I send him an angry glare that stops him in his tracks.
"I'm fourteen." He states, also glaring at Dave – he's not the most popular fellow here then.
I take a deep breath as I realise what this means. Nathan's older than Bryony. Dave cheated before me. And he said all that stuff...
"No," Dave speaks up, and then apparently reads my mind because he says, "it's not what you think. I never slept with anyone else while we were together." I didn't say anything. "It was... it happened after I found out about you and Robbie. I went to a bar and got unbelievably drunk ok? The girl only told me two months ago that I had a kid. Of course what no one knew is that I actually have two."
"I don't believe you." I said quietly. And it's true. I can't believe what he did.
I don't know whether to blame him. I don't even know whether I hate him or not.
Bryony
I don't listen to anything else. I just run away upstairs to cry into a pillow. That's what they do in most books and films anyway – it seemed like the thing to do.
Though it didn't make me feel any better. Dave's known about Nathan for two months and he comes around straight away to find him. He's known about me for 13 years and only now does he make an appearance.
He doesn't care. He doesn't care about me or Gee. Probably not even Nathan.
Nathan... Nathan is my brother. How weird and scary is that? Should I be happy? I don't know what it's like to have a sibling. Hell, about from Callum I don't even know what it's like to be around people my own age. And now Callum's out of the picture now as well.
Everything has changed so much. And I don't think it's stopped yet. All this stuff that's coming out... it sucks.
Robbie
I never told anyone, not a soul, that I thought Bryony was my child. Obviously other's knew that me and Gee slept together but I never told them the other part. And I'm glad I didn't because right now I feel like the biggest loser on the planet.
Of course Dave is the father. Dave always got everything that I wanted. And now he's beat me at the final hurdle too.
Even after all this – even after finding out that Dave slept with someone else and had another kid – even after that, Gee doesn't even seem that angry.
So I right now I don't know what hurts more – that I'm not Bryony's dad or that Gee might possibly be in love with Dave again.
Gee
I told everyone to go straight after Bryony ran upstairs crying. Because it made me realise that right now, Dave or Robbie don't really matter. Not right now.
So I made them leave without saying another word and then headed up into Bry's room. She was sat with her face slammed into her pillow and I was pretty sure she didn't hear me come in so I knocked.
She didn't say anything and neither did I. I just joined her on the bed and put my arms round her.
Bryony
I hugged Gee back straight away and buried my head in her shoulder. She even made us sway a little bit which surprisingly helped.
She really is a better mum that she thinks she is. That maybe even I think she is sometimes.
But I won't forget again. Never.
I don't care about anyone else. I have Gee for a mum. And that's all I need.
Let me know what you think :)
horns out ;)
x