Chaptah 3:
A Day in the life of Shikamaru!
*****
Okay everyone, here we are at Konoha Lake, where our sexy Shikamaru is taking an afternoon swim. Isn't he gorgeous? The Fangirls sigh blissfully as Shikamaru flies through the water, wonderful and strong. He looks amazing. The muscles in his arms flex gracefully every time he cuts through the water, and the Fangirls stare glassy-eyed and drooling a little. Fangirl #002 comments on how sexy he looks and the other Fangirls nod in agreement.
Lustful little devils.
Suddenly Shikamaru dives underneath the water. We all hold our breath as we wait for him to emerge. Then there he is, cutting through the surface like some kind of water god. Notice how tasty his skin looks when wet, the way the water droplets glisten in the sun, making us Fangirls lust for that delicious body even more. It takes every bit of willpower we have to keep us from jumping into that lake and onto Shikamaru, especially when every fiber of our being is screaming, LET ME AT 'EM!
Then Shikamaru dramatically flips his longish wet hair in a futile attempt to get it out of his eyes and Fangirls #002 and #981 can't hold themselves back any longer. They run screaming towards the water, stripping themselves of their clothing as they do so.
Shikamaru turns at the sound of the Fangirls' screaming. He barely has time to blink before they're all over him. Poor widdle Shikamawu!
Shikamaru tries desperately to escape, but it's no use. Rabid Fangirls are impossible to shake off. As a last resort, Shikamaru uses his Shadow Possession Jutsu and backs out of the water. The Fangirls also back up, going farther and farther into the lake. Shikamaru escapes successfully and fully intact! Awesomeness!
The betraying Fangirls begin to cry.
Meanwhile, the rest of us Fangirls hide behind a giant boulder as Shikamaru searches for his clothing. Which, obviously, are missing.
Because WE'VE got them! We chuckle maniacally.
Shikamaru continues his search, shivering a little as a small breeze chills his wet skin. By now, the Fangirls have gotten out of the water and redressed themselves. They begin to make their way back towards us, but my hideous Troll Glare stops them dead in their tracks. Don't you dare come another step closer.
The other Fangirls peer at me curiously. Like, why can't they come back?
They have gone against the Rules of Fangirl Unity. They can no longer be trusted. The disclosing Fangirls run off, devastated.
I turn my attention back towards Shikamaru, but he's no longer there. Where, oh where, has that hunkalicious man-boy gone?!
I try to stand up, but my legs are frozen in place…what--
Aw, shift.
Shikamaru has somehow discovered our hiding place, and now I can't move!
There's only one thing to do.
FANGIRLS! TACKLE HIM!
The Fangirls are only too happy to oblige. They wrestle Shikamaru to the ground and smother him with rainbow-colored kisses. By the time they're finished, there isn't a spot on him that isn't covered in red, pink or orange.
Except, of course, his…lower parts. BUT THAT AREA IS OFF-LIMITS!
FANGIRLS! RETREAT!
The Fangirls quickly leap away from Shikamaru. Let's get the heck outta here! And fast!
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