Chaptah 4:
A Day in the life of Itachi!
*****
Alright, Fangirls. We've made it this far. We can't turn back now.
Here we are, standing behind this tree that shouldn't be able to hide all of us, but is anyway. We watch blissfully as Itachi paints his nails a beautiful purple.
Normally, this would be considered gay. But it's sexy on Itachi. The Fangirls swoon.
Itachi suddenly turns and glares in our general direction. Crap. We've been found out.
Or not. In one swift motion, he grabs a shuriken and flings it at the tree, pinning a bumblebee by its wings.
Fangirl #012 faints.
The rest of us watch intently as Itachi finishes his nails.
After twenty-nine minutes of nail-painting, Itachi stands up. Alright! Now for some action! I zoom in further.
Itachi stands with his head to the sky. He looks deliciously sexy today since he's not wearing his usual attire. Clad in a tight black shirt and manly black skinny-jeans, it takes everything within us to keep from glomping him.
Suddenly he starts walking towards us. And he seems to be looking right at me.
Come on, 'Tachi… give mama some sugar!
Oh, wait…that's a bad thing. FANGIRLS, RUN FOR YOUR FREAKIN' LIVES!
But then he walks right past us, without a glance in our direction. Phew, that was close!
WE MUST FOLLOW HIM!
The Fangirls form a single file line as we stalk--er, follow--Itachi. Zoom in to Itachi walking quietly through the forest.
Zoom in even further to see him walking up to someone's house.
Zoom in even further to see him--hey wait, that's SASUKE'S HOUSE!
The Fangirls are suspicious as we watch Itachi climb through the window. We sneak even closer.
At first there's nothing but silence. But then we hear a clatter, a glass breaking, and a muffled scream.
WHAT IS ITACHI DOING TO OUR BELOVED SASUKE?!
We can only hope it isn't anything drastic, as we would hate to have to kill our beloved Itachi for hurting our beloved Sasuke.
The Fangirls leap through the window, one by one, and follow the trail of broken glass and small droplets of blood down the hall to Sasuke's bedroom. We stand with our ears to the door and listen.
There's nothing but mumbling at first, but then Sasuke screams.
Scared for our beloved Sasuke's life, we burst in without thinking, and are instantly shocked at the sight before us.
There is Sasuke, shirtless and tied to his bed with chains, and Itachi is leering over him with a container of Vaseline.
Oh, dear. Pardon the intrusion…
Blood spurts out of the Fangirls' noses and WE RUN FOR OUR LIVES!
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