Author's note: I'll try to update once to twice a week but it depends on my schedule. I present you chapter 1 of iRealize.

Disclaimer: iCarly and its characters don't belong to me. Everything belongs to their respective owners.

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Chapter 1- Bothered

I locked myself up in my room.

I was pacing back and forth across the room with my phone on my hand and my head filled with her, nothing but her. I don't know why, probably because she was with Griffin or was there more?

No, no, no, no, there isn't more! That's impossible.

I stopped moving and I looked at my phone. It was already in Sam's number, all there's left to do is press the call button. I realized that the phone is shaking because of my tight grip. I inhaled deeply and exhaled loudly. It helped me relax but there was still tension in me. I threw my cell phone into the bed and it bounced before it completely stopped in edge, next to my pillow.

I stood there with my hands on my pocket and drift far from reality. There were many things in my head, majority of her but I was able to put them beside and reminisce the happy moments with my friends and family. Then this came up:

(Flashback)

"I was gonna say that –"She cut me off

"We should kiss"

I bit my lip and I almost smacked my forehead for even thinking about that.

"You're gonna break my arm now, right?"

"No"

Then there was a moment of awkward silence

"Well, should we?" I asked breaking the ice "Just so both of us could get it over with"

She sighed "Just to get it over with"

"Just to get it over with" I repeated just to make sure that it was just that, nothing more

It took me by surprise because she just moved next to me

"And we will be back to hating each other as soon that it's over" She was being jumpy now, I swear I could tell.

"And we will never tell anyone" I added and she immediately said: "Never"

"Well, lean"

(End of flashback)

I shook my head with closed eyes. I was wrong, I can't put her aside. I groaned but I remained still in my place.

Say, Griffin was involved in a motorcycle accident last time. I smirked. I find that moment amusing because the person Carly loved, previously, was hurt. He even needs Carly's medication and the way he screamed when Carly squirt the first aid spray on his back was priceless. I was smiling widely now but it all disappeared when:

"Wait" I thought to myself "Accident? Sam's with him now"

My eyes widen by the thought and I dived in my bed. Yes, I literally dived and I searched for the cell phone and when my hands felt the cold metal, I held it right in front of me.

I sighed.

I was being stupid. I was being paranoid.

"Why? I don't know. It was just Sam, right?" I thought

"What could go wrong?"

"I'll tell you what can go wrong; they can be in an accident and be hospitalized forever or maybe worse"

"Maybe, Griffin is much more careful now because of the previous accident."

"False! He's a bad boy. He won't stop doing what he's used to."

"Maybe Sam was smart enough to know that every moment is dangerous with him"

"I'll remind you that Sam is also attracted to him!"

Great! I'm having arguments with myself.

I buried my face on the pillow and I screamed just to let out the heavy load in me. I raised my head and this time, I was determined to call her. I searched her name in my phonebook but on second thought I'll just text her.

Hey, Sam u home? Wassup?

Then I hesitated to press send. I checked my outbox to make sure it was sent. There was no turning back now.

Message sent at 6:31 PM

I rolled in my bead so I can face the ceiling. I stared at it for a while and for once my head was empty. If she was only beside me right now with a smiling face, everything will be perfect. I can't ask for more and-

Gah! What am I thinking? If that happens it'll be so awkward and weird. I don't really want that to happen or do I? Gosh! What is happening to me?

I haven't heard any ring from my phone nor felt a vibrate but just to make sure, I held it right in front of my face but nothing. I scratched my head desperately.

Suddenly I felt my eyelids slowly closing. Maybe, all I need is a complete sleep and hopefully, tomorrow will be better. I'm drifting far away now. Different pictures and sounds filled my head. Things were so vivid. It was hard to accept that this was just a dream. I can't really explain what's happening but everything seems so happy. Dreams like this are rare for me. They barely happen. I don't want to wake up but unfortunately, some weird sound woke me up.

"Go away…" I muttered with a fading voice. "Go away" I repeated this time with more effort on making it louder. Unexpectedly, the sound did go away. A little freaked out; I opened my eyes and sat up. I recalled the sound and it hit me that it was my ring tone. I searched my phone on my bed, under the pillow and under the sheets. I saw it face down on the sheets.

1 New Message

I pressed 'read' button and it said:

Yo, Fredward, I just got home, Griffin took me 2 the mall 1st.

Message received from Sam at 7:49 PM

Woah, wait, what? 7:49 PM? I looked at the clock on my side table and it was 7:51 already. I did fell asleep but it seems so short, like it was just a 3-minute…nap...

Well, she's okay and that's more than enough. I left the phone in my head and I stood up to prepare for a good night sleep but before I could take my 5th step my phone rang again. I'm not that eager to know who that is so I just walked slowly and reached for it.

1 new message received.

Hey, come & take a walk with me in the park, meet you in 15 min.

Didn't even bother to look who it was but I drop the phone and it bounced in the bed. As I ran to my drawer, I almost tripped but I was able to get a hold of myself. I rumbled to my clothes because my shirts were at the bottom part. I pulled out a blue polo-shirt. I took off my shirt and put the new one. I grabbed my comb and I just ran it through my hair, I slipped on my rubber shoes and grabbed a jacket. Then I escaped my apartment just telling my mom "I'll be back"

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