CHAPTER TEN

The rest of Lex's day was spent watching Brady and Trudy go about their usual litany of chores. As promised Brady taught him how to milk her goat as well as feed the stock. All the while she bombarded him with questions about the infamous mall and anything else pertaining to the city.

"What did it look like... tell me about the fountain, was it pretty... was I really born in a furniture shop... were you there when I was born... what was my uncle Bray like... where are the other Mallrats now... do you know my cousin Bray junior... do you still live at the mall... did my mom really have purple hair... what's the city like... are there a lot of fights... do the tribes still wear funny clothes... is Mega really a bad man... were you really as mean as Mouse says... was the war really bad... how did uncle Bray die... are you still a sheriff..."

The list simply went on and on and Lex answered with a patience he wasn't aware he had. He wondered why Brady was so fascinated with a world and a time that no longer existed. Then decided that for someone like Brady, a connection with her past was most important for understanding the path of her future.

As Brady led him around Lex noticed Trudy in the background doing her own endless list of chores. It seemed as though every time he turned around she was doing something else: Bailing hay in the barn, rooting through the winter garden, hammering makeshift shingles on the roof, replacing the broken slates of the fence... It amazed him how handy and capable she'd become through the years. She'd once been a slightly fragile creature, a victim of her own overwhelming emotional outbursts. Now he could see that she would give even Alice a run for her money.

Lex felt quite useless himself seeing that he couldn't do much with a bum leg. Trudy finally put him to work scrubbing vegetables. Though happy to help, Lex couldn't fight feeling slight humiliation with his female hosts doing all the heavy labor while he was stuck in the kitchen.

"I still haven't learned to cook." He explained apologetically.

"Woman's work eh Lex?" Trudy teased with good nature.

"Heh," Lex smirked.

"Don't worry." She patted his back. "I'll do the cooking. You just get them cleaned."

"You're loving this aren't you?"

"What?"

Lex eyeballed her. "Watching me be domestic."

Trudy gazed back innocently. "Why Lex, what gave you that idea?" With another teasing smile she turned, heading back outside.

"Enjoy it while you can." He called after her retreating figure. "When I'm feeling up to it, I'll be working on the fence while you scrub carrots."

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"How long is he going to stay?"

Trudy shrugged as she pulled the blanket up to Brady's chin. "I don't know. Until he's feeling up to leaving I guess."

"I like him."

"I can tell."

"Do you think he likes me?"

Trudy kissed her daughter's nose. "Who wouldn't?"

Brady blushed slightly. "I think he's handsome."

"What about Dodger?" Trudy pretended to be shocked as she referred to one of the Gaians. "I thought he was your boyfriend."

"He's married to Perimedes Momma." Brady looked embarrassed. "He just pretends to be my boyfriend."

"I know, I'm just teasing." Trudy smoothed the little girl's wild curls marveling at how much she looked like her father. "Lex is very handsome."

"Why isn't he married?"

The question caught her off guard and Trudy shifted uncomfortably. "Did you ask Lex that?"

Brady nodded. "He said he wasn't any good at it. What's that supposed to mean?"

"Um," Trudy cleared her throat not sure how to answer without invading too much of Lex's personal history. "Well hun Lex was married... before. A long time ago and it... it didn't work out. I guess that's what he means."

"Oh," Brady nodded as she snuggled into the softness of the bed. "Do you think he'll ever get married again?"

Shrugging once more Trudy watched her child's eyes blink as sleep began to set in. "I don't know."

"Maybe if he finds the right person." Brady yawned.

Without waiting for a response she fell into sleep, the day's activities having exhausted her. Trudy sat on the bed caressing her daughter's hair and watching her breathe. She thought on Zandra, Taisan and Siva and how Lex reacted to losing them all so drastically. Then she thought of her own response over losing Martin, Bray, Jay and even Kye. What good was finding the right person if only to lose them? Perhaps it wasn't about losing them. Maybe it was about having them if only for one blissful moment. To remind them that love did exist amongst the insanity of their world. After several minutes she stood and stared down at her sleeping child.

"Maybe." She whispered before going downstairs.

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"Okay what you got?"

Lex eyed Brady with suspicious eyes. Was she bluffing? He'd spent less than an hour teaching her the basics of poker and already she was picking up on the subtle nuances, making her a dangerous and admirable player. With a confident smirk he lay his cards down.

"Straight. In diamonds."

"All I got is a lousy two pair." Trudy pretended to pout.

Brady giggled and revealed her winning hand. "Royal flush."

"Damn." Lex threw his hands up in the air dramatically while Brady collected her winnings (two jars of raspberry preserves) doing a gleeful little dance.

"I win, I win." She sang happily.

"She's a natural." Trudy shook her head as she examined her daughter's cards.

"Wanna play again?" Brady asked hopefully.

"I don't think my ego can take any more bruising." Lex chuckled, half serious. "I could have used someone like you back in the day. You put KC to shame."

Seeing Brady's obvious confusion over his reference to the past Trudy smiled at her daughter. "Lex was quite the scam artist in his youth and KC was his partner in crime."

"I prefer the term 'opportunist'." Lex arched an eyebrow at her quip about his age.

"Did you cheat people?" Brady asked with excited eyes.

Glancing at Trudy's smirk Lex nodded. "Sometimes."

"We all do crazy things when we're young because we think we'll live forever."

"Yes... crazy things." Lex agreed giving Trudy a mischievous grin. "Like feeding someone a rat."

"Ew!" Brady exclaimed as her mother's mouth dropped. "You did that?"

Lex laughed at their responses. "I didn't."

"Don't you dare!" Trudy said not sure whether to laugh or cry at the memory.

Brady looked at the two adults staring each other down with glints of devilment in their eyes. Though she was young she understood Lex's hint and looked at her mother in excited surprise. "Momma?"

Realizing it was useless to resist Trudy broke down in shameful laughter, an embarrassed flush on her face. "Alright, alright. Yes I did it."

"You fed someone a rat?"

"Well I didn't feed it to him." Trudy tried to defend. "I just cooked it..."

"And then let me eat it." Lex explained the rest with no malice in his playful tone.

"Ew!" Brady squealed again. "You ate a rat!"

"I didn't know it was a rat." He protested enjoying the little girl's enjoyment at hearing something so scandalous.

"That's so gross." Brady laughed. "I can't believe you did that Momma."

"Neither can I." Trudy shook her head. "It was a mean trick and Lex got very sick because of it."

"Well I deserved it." Lex looked at both Trudy and Brady with sincerity. "I wasn't very nice to your mother in my... youth."

"I wasn't exactly miss Polly sunshine to you either."

With curious eyes, Brady watched her mother and Lex gaze intently at one another. Seemingly engaged in a silent conversation where perhaps they were forgiving each other for their past misgivings. She liked the friendly smiles they shared and trusting her better judgment chose to leave the table with her preserves in hand. They didn't seem to notice her absence as she settled on the couch. Looking back she saw they were still staring at one another in silence. Smirking to herself she muttered in disbelief.

"A rat."

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Later the night after Brady had been sent off to bed, still joyous over her many wins at poker, Lex and Trudy sat warming themselves by the fire. Lex admired Trudy's skill as she poked and prodded the flaming logs with a stick. She was so different now though she still retained that girlish sweetness that always made her stand apart from the others.

"I'll have to cut a few more cords of wood." Trudy muttered as she sat and pulled a blanket over her shoulders. "I underestimated how cold it might get this year."

Lex nodded though he knew nothing of which she spoke. He'd never been near a fireplace in his life. "It is colder here than it was in the city."

"Well you've got that wall to protect you from the winds." She guessed. "Though I'd think being on the water might make up for it."

"I guess." Lex gave Trudy a look, wondering why they were talking about weather. She glanced back as though thinking the same thing.

"So," She started slowly. "Tell me about life in the big city. We haven't had a chance to catch up."

"Not with Brady's inquisition." Lex joked.

"I'm sorry." Trudy chuckled. "She's so curious. She reminds me of Bray. Always looking for answers to everything."

"I don't mind." Lex spoke as though it were just occurring to him. "It's kinda nice telling the stories to someone who can't remember. Guess that's our job."

"Yeah." Trudy agreed a wistful look in her eyes. "Anyway, tell me about everyone. How's Amber and Salene? Are they happy?"

He could tell from the tone of her voice she was longing to change the subject. Something about Brady's questions bothered her though he wasn't sure why and he thought it best not to ask. Some things were better left unanswered.

"Um, Amber and Salene." Lex cleared his throat wondering where to begin. "Salene is doing alright. She's settled down with a kid. Jeremiah. Cute little boy." Lex's light eyes danced at the image of Miah. "He's two and into everything. But you know Salene is enjoying every minute of it."

"I can imagine." Trudy smiled. "She was always the perfect little mother. What's her husband like?"

"Husband?"

"You said she was settled."

"Heh," He chuckled realizing his mistake. "Yeah but I never mentioned a man. She lives with Jenny. A woman she works with at the children's home." Lex found the look on Trudy's face amusing and held back a laugh.

"Oh." The dark haired woman tried to hide her shock and obvious surprise. "Well that's good. Um, how about Amber? She and Jay still happy?"

If she noticed Lex shifting uncomfortably, Trudy didn't say anything. He narrowed his thoughtful eyes at the fire, the image of Jay's corpse and Amber's injured body burned into his mind. He wasn't certain what to tell Trudy though the truth seemed completely out of the question. It would raise far too many questions. None of which he was ready to deal with right now.

"Amber and Jay are... fine." He lied his voice unwavering. "Bray's getting big and they have another, Soleil. She's three and Amber's pregnant with their third."

He watched Trudy's face light up. "That's great." She said sincerely. Obviously any animosity she had for Amber for stealing Jay was lost long ago. "I wish I could see her. I must admit leaving Amber was one of the hardest things I've ever done." She glanced at Lex's questioning expression. "She was like a sister, ya know. After everything we'd been through."

"Yeah," Lex nodded, glad he had withheld the truth. He felt it might have crushed Trudy. He went on to tell her about Jay's being a judge while Amber had settled into the unlikely role of housewife. Though she still had a strong presence on the city council. He also told Trudy about Jack and Ellie''s unfortunate parting (not to mention Ellie's books and Jack's ever expanding scientific accomplishments) along with their new marriages. Jack's being the most recent.

"That's too bad, in a way." Trudy sighed. "I was always rooting for those two. Did you go to the wedding?"

Lex shook his head, again uneasy with the subject. "Had to work."

"Right." She nodded. "So explain to me, what exactly is it you do in the New City? Are you a cop?"

He nodded. "In so many words, yes."

"Kinda ironic you're being a policeman." Trudy chuckled. "Hard to picture you chasing down criminals doing stuff you used to do."

"Yeah." Lex nodded again this time with a wry smile. "I hated cops when I was a kid. Just a cruel reminder of how old I am."

Their conversation continued as Trudy asked about other Mallrats. Lex told her about Cloe, who'd recently graduated from trade school the year before after studying medicine. She now worked at the hospital and hardly resembled the annoying teenager she'd once been. Then of course KC who was now working in the financial department and living with his ex Techno girlfriend. Lex didn't bother to explain how different his former protege was after rehabilitation. It wasn't something that could be described. There was Gel and her dumb luck marriage, Mega and Chiava, Darryl and his work in the theater group which made lame and not so lame plays which were aired on city net. It was the closest thing they had to TV. There was little to be said about Lottie and Ruby since they, like Trudy, had declined Mega's invitation and chose to go back to Liberty. Lex hadn't seen nor heard from either of them in five years. When asked about May, Lex swallowed his nausea and made up a story about her doing well and working in a restaurant.

"Okay, and I can't believe I'm even asking since she's the last person on the planet I care about but how's Ebony?" Trudy narrowed her pretty eyes. "Still gunning to take over the world?"

He chuckled. "No she uh, she runs one of the most successful clubs in town. Mind you it's a strip club of course." This made Trudy laugh. "She's all business these days."

"Guess nothings changed. How's Slade? He still putting up with her?"

She watched him shake his head slowly. "No. They parted ways a long time ago."

Then Lex went on to explain how Slade had never taken to life in the New City. He felt stifled and longed for the freedom of the open road. A life that had suited him fine before his fateful run in with Ram. After some months he finally begged Ebony to leave with him. To see what lay beyond the mountains of their world. She adamantly refused having sunk comfortably into her new life. After several weeks of fighting Slade packed his bags and left the New City. Stubborn to the core Ebony let him go believing she was better off. It took her less than a month to realize her mistake and she went to Liberty in search of him. Convinced she'd get him back with a simply apology. But she found that Slade had already left, a mass of rumors in his wake. Heartbroken and furious with herself, she returned to the New City and like Lex, threw herself into work. It was a year before Slade returned and then it was only to see his brother. He stayed less than a week before leaving without even seeing Ebony. Afterward, his annual visits with Mega were always sure to put her in a bitter mood for weeks. Though he didn't say it, Lex felt Ebony's pain. As one who spent many hours in self torture over his own mistakes, Lex understood regret better than anyone. Trudy was less understanding.

"Serves her right." She spoke with little sympathy. "Leave it to her to chase off the one guy who could stand her." Lex was silent as he watched Trudy's expression. She still had that cute little flair of the nostrils when she was disgruntled. "Okay, now you. You've managed to avoid talking about yourself I've noticed." She turned her gaze on Lex who looked back in mock innocence. "Now I know you're not married but what about your girlfriend? You seeing anyone special?"

In spite of himself, Lex smirked and again returned his eyes to the fire. "I don't date anymore." Silently he braced himself for a snide or sarcastic comment but it never came.

"Why?" She asked sincerely.

Lex paused in his answer thinking how the deaths of Zandra, Taisan and Siva had affected him. The irony of all three situations was sickening. As long as he ignored and mistreated her, Zandra was there loyal at his side. It wasn't until he'd committed himself to her, really started to love her, that she was taken away in a blink of an eye. It was the same with Siva. When he treated her like a toy, a mere distraction to keep his mind off the missing Taisan, things were fine. They were safe together. It wasn't until he accepted the loss of his wife and was ready to move on properly that he lost Siva to a firebomb during the war. And Taisan, his beautiful Taisan. He loved her maybe from the first moment and for that their relationship was forever doomed to fail. Was it any wonder he kept his distance with people and pushed any notion of love to the side?

"Lex?" Trudy's quiet voice interupted his thoughts and he realized she was still waiting for him to speak.

"I guess I just can't see the point." Lex shifted uncomfortably. "I mean, after Siva died I just felt empty. The same emptiness I felt when I buried Zandra on Eagle mountain. Or the way I felt when I learned Taisan was never coming back. I realized I didn't wanna feel it anymore."

"So you just quit dating altogether?"

"Well," Lex shrugged. "I tried... for awhile. First couple of years I would be involved with this girl or that but I'd always end it before it got too intimate." He caught Trudy's eyes. "I just couldn't risk it again, ya know? So as soon as I would start to care about a girl I'd break it off. Then it all just became more of a pain than it was worth so I said screw it. Who needs love?" Lex chuckled. "What's love ever done but break my heart?" Trudy nodded in understanding. He looked at her and tried to guess the reason for the solemn expression in her eyes. "So... was Kye anyone special?"

With a fond smile, Trudy nodded slightly. "Yeah he was. But not in the way you think." She paused at Lex's knowing smirk. "He didn't like girls."

"Oh." Lex fought the desire to say anything more and merely nodded.

Trudy laughed at his obvious effort to keep silent. "He was my best friend. I think maybe in a different universe, he might have been the love of my life."

Lex felt himself inexplicably drawn to the sincerity of Trudy's words. He studied the faint smile on her lips as happier memories played before her eyes. He wondered why Trudy who, unlike himself, obviously still had so much love to share, would stay hidden away in this little farm house. Why hadn't she, after Kye's sudden and unfortunate death, taken Brady to the Gaians as Hawk requested? Why was she wasting all she had to offer by living a half life somewhere between the mists and shadows of their world? He was about to ask something to this effect when Trudy suddenly stretched and stood up.

"I'm tired." She gave Lex a small smile and he wondered if she hadn't guessed at his new line of questioning, and like with Brady was purposely avoiding it. "I've got an early day tomorrow. I wanna finish that fence before a wolf tries to make off with some of the livestock."

"Right." He nodded and pushed the questions to the back of his mind. "Do you want me to put that out?" Lex gestured to the fire remembering Trudy's comment about cutting more wood. He didn't want to waste their resources and create more work for her.

"No." She shook her head with a smile, the dark tresses slipping over her shoulders. "Let it burn. It makes for a nice change. Good night."

Lex gave her a nod and watched as she disappeared up the stairs. He understood that his presence made her feel more secure and that in turn warmed his insides for some reason. Staring back at the fire he pulled Trudy's discarded blanket over his chilled arms. It still held the warmth from her body and he caught just the smallest wiff of her scent. Smiling at the dancing flames Lex pulled it tighter around himself.

"Goodnight." He whispered into the silence.