Disclaimer: We don't own iCarly, it'd get too sexy.
A/N: Lot of people asked for it, which was cool because we had decided to keep writing in this little universe anyway. Who knows how long we'll keep going but here is another part or instance or whatever.
--
"Why can't we ever go out to the movies? Blood and Guts II just came out and I'm tired of Netflix." Sam complained while she lounged out on top of her significant others, who were sitting on the couch in the Shay's living room.
Blonde curls in Carly's lap, gray converses in Freddie's.
"Because Sam," Carly began, fingers running through Sam's hair while eyes remained locked on television screen. "Something about the anonymity of being in a dark theater makes you more of a horndog than usual. Do you not remember a month ago when we went to the movies and you practical made us have a threesome?"
"No one gets made to have a threesome. It's something everyone wants. And hey, if a threesome had transpired that night, it would have been because you guys couldn't keep your hands to yourselves. Which I don't blame you, I'm sexy as all hell."
Freddie shook his head, it was something he did a lot in her company. Shake his head, roll his eyes, huff indignantly.
"Our wandering hands were definitely not the problem."
"I'd be careful with the sass, Benson. Need I remind you where my foot is currently resting."
Freddie instantly tensed up, hand coming to lightly rest on her shins causing Sam to just laugh as she focused on the screen.
"Relax Jeeves, little Freddie is safe. It's one of the only things that makes you useful."
Cue indignant huff.
"Sam."
"I know, I know. He's not the help, don't define him by his equipment. Broken record already, Carls."
For the next five minutes things were quiet except for the sound coming from the tv. Five minutes is the breaking point though and Sam starts getting antsy. It might be a combination of the way Carly is threading her fingers through Sam's hair and the way Freddie is subconsciously grazing his finger tips up and down against the fabric of Sam's jeans or it could just be that she's ready to go all the time but in the next moment, Sam decides things are going to get a little rated R.
So she sits up, falling into the empty space between Carly and Freddie before pressing up against the side of her girlfriend. When Carly looks over to question it, the brunette finds herself in a liplock. And because it's with Sam, it's a steamy kiss with all kinds of need and fervor.
Sam's hand reaches out behind her and feels around blindly for a few seconds before coming into contact with Freddie's tee shirt and pulling him over.
One kiss ends.
Another begins.
Needless to say, the movie is now forgotten.
All of a sudden, Sam is pulling off Freddie's shirt and there is a breath of annoyance at being manhandled but it's nothing new so the complaint never escapes in words.
Carly's turn, her cute pink sweater pulled over her head and dropped to the hard wood floor.
And right around this time, as Sam is about to take her own shirt off and ravish her two best friends slash spouses, well that's when Spencer walks in with Sasha in tow.
"Shirtless Freddie!" His voice rings out in alarm and his hand instantly shoots up to shield Sasha's eyes from the scene.
But then he takes in the fact that Carly is also shirtless.
"Oh God, shirtless baby sister!" And he uses his free hand to bring one of Sasha's hands up to shield his eyes so the two of them are standing there (Spencer horrified and Sasha laughing), blinded from the scene.
--
Carly is up stairs with Sasha.
Sam and Freddie are sitting on the couch, at different sides with a good amount of space between them while Spencer is pacing back and forth in front of them. His face is tense and contorted tight with thought before looking over to the two youths.
Finally he stopped, fixing his gaze onto Sam.
"Sam, what are your intentions with my sister?"
She arched her brow. "We've had the talk, already."
"Oh right." He paused. "Okay then, what are your intentions with Freddie?"
"Huh?"
"I don't know!" Spencer exclaimed, taking a seat on the coffee table. "I'm so confused, no told me how to handle if your sister decides she's a bisexual and wants to date both her best friends!"
Freddie looks empathic while Sam just looked bored.
"What's going on, with the three of us well-- it's complicated."
"We're all in a relationship; figure three is better than two, right? There, saved us all a two hour conversation and after school special hug."
"Sam, you can't act li-" He paused, looking over the blonde with question turning his lips into a frown. "Did you just say we were in a relationship. Like we meaning all three of us? Including me? In the three?"
Spencer made something similar to an ahem sound, loud and over the top.
"Back to what's important here, I thought Carly decided she liked girls now?"
"Well, then she decided she liked boys again, or too."
"More to the point, she decided she liked nerds, apparently."
Freddie scowled.
Sam grinned.
Spencer hmm'd.
"So… the three of you are really serious about this three-way relationship thing?"
Freddie looked to Sam who just shrugged and started messing with the hem of her sleeves, causing the brunette boy to shake his head (for the millionth time) and turn back to Spencer.
"Yeah, we're pretty serious about this, Spence." He looked down to his lap for a moment before back up to the older male. "It just works, ya` know? We all fit together to make something complete-"
"Oh Christ, could you make it sound any gayer?" Sam muttered at his side causing him to glare over at her.
Spencer took this opportunity to let Freddie's words sink in while watching the two kids he's considered family for the last five or six years. They were good kids -- bit dysfunctional and sometimes violent (Sam) -- but well meaning and good. The relationship was highly unconventional but who was he to judge conventionality.
If this is what the three of them need to be happy, he certainly wasn't going to stand in the way of that.
"Okay."
Freddie and Sam both turned to him at the same time, but it was Sam who spoke first.
"Okay?"
"Yeah, okay?"
"Okay."
Sam gave Spencer a hard look. "You do know we're both getting it on your little sister right?"
"Sam!"
"What? I said getting it on not banging or something. Anyway, the guy is an adult."
"Barely!" Spencer paused. "Oh wait, yeah. Yeah, I am- just listen. All I want is for Carly to be happy; for all of you to be happy. If this is what you all want, then you have my support."
"Wow, thanks Spence."
"Yeah," Spencer stood up, moving towards the kitchen. "Just try not to get half naked in my living room, not something I want to walk in on."
"You should try knocking sometime then."
"It's my apartment!"
"Whatever." Sam grinned over at Freddie who grinned back at her until she reached over and gave him a pinch, then it was the usual.
Shake of the head, roll of the eyes, indignant huff.
--
Sasha always seemed like a cool girl.
Out of all of her brother's girlfriend, Sasha, or 'the girl in the sexy purple tank-top' as Spencer often referred to her even though Carly had only seen her wear the said tank-top once, was definitely her favorite. She had girl talk with Carly, didn't treat her like a kid and Carly basically considered her a friend.
Well, until now.
Sasha had her legs crossed- her too damn perfect legs, it was just unhealthy- and held her lips in a flat line as her brown/black eyes stared at Carly. The red dress she had wore for her date with Spencer only added to make her look more intimidating, more perfect. Carly was sure that if she was downstairs with Freddie and Sam was in her place, Sam would be trying to get Sasha in on their relationship. The girl was hot, Carly had to admit, and it didn't help this situation at all.
"So," Sasha started, her accent light but noticeable. "What was that all about?"
She didn't seem menacing or judging but Carly seemed to shrink. She had never been good at talking about hers, Freddie's and Sam's relationship. No matter how she tried to explain that she really did like Sam and Freddie- in that 'I love You' way they do in romance movies, no one seemed to see her as more than a bi-curious…well, a bi-curious not too elegant word. No one seemed to understand that you could love more than one person at the same time, and as she stared down at her hands trying to form an answer, she feared Sasha would be one of those people.
"Well," Carly flushed. "Freddie, Sam and I were watching a movie." For about two point three seconds.
Sasha was patient, simply raising an eyebrow in that therapist-cool manner. "Shirtless?"
"It was hot." Carly was really hoping Sasha would ignore the fact it could be no more than seventy degrees in the apartment, at most.
"And Sam's lips were kind of on Freddie's and her hand was kind on your," Sasha gave Carly a 'I'm so sorry I have to say this and embarrassing you look before continuing. "Ladies."
"Well, me and Sam are dating," Carly was grateful it was just her and Sasha, Sam would have had a field day with Carly implying that Freddie wasn't a part of their relationship.
"So…Sam was cheating on you?"
Carly bit her lip. "Well, not exactly, no. I mean, she-we, us- we're-" Carly glanced anxiously at Sasha who was still doing that 'I'm too cool to show my emotions' thing. "We're together!" Carly broke, burying her face in her hands. "One day Sam kissed me and than I realized 'hey, I'm not exactly straight' because it felt really good and if that wasn't bad enough I started to realize I liked Freddie too. I mean, it's not possible to like two people, right? That's what you must be thinking, but than Sam seemed to realize I like Freddie and one day out of the blue she just gets up and kisses him, throws him down on me and says, 'Your in', like we're some kind of club or something. So, from there we just all started dating each other and…you totally think I'm disgusting, don't you?"
Carly was afraid to look up so she kept in the solitude of the darkness her hands provided. It wasn't until a slightly musical laugh floated to her ears did she dare sneak a peek. "Carly, I don't think you're disgusting," Sasha gave her a warm smile. "You're in love with them, no? I can see it on your face when you talk, you get that starry eyed expression."
"I love them," Carly confirmed, feeling a slight ease wash over her.
"Well then, I don't see anything wrong. Love can never be too big or too small, my mother use to tell me, and in this case you have a lot of love. It's cute."
Carly cocked an eyebrow. "You think having a, in technical terms, threesome with my two best friends is 'cute'?"
Sasha shrugged, "I had a very unconventional upbringing." That was obvious. "Plus, I sort of already figured that you three had something going on."
"You did?" Beside that whole PDA thing they had a problem with, they were pretty secretive. Well, at least at home. Freddie's splash face status as 'Winning at Life' and Sam's racy splash face pictures kind of kept it hard to keep their relationship from their friends- but at home it was strictly one girl to a person. Ms. Benson tried sending Freddie to therapy after she found out about Sam's and Carly's relationship and even now was refusing to speak to the two, and even though two technically was better than one, Carly doubted she'd be happy to find her son was in a very…sharing relationship.
"Your brother and Freddie's mother may be oblivious but you guys don't do a very good job at hiding your relationship. Freddie doesn't have a girlfriend and yet he always seems to have hickeys- which Sam always has a way of bringing up when me and Spencer are around, and, to be blunt, the three of you have so much eye-sex that I want to wear condom-colored glasses whenever I step into this apartment."
Carly blushed as Sasha laughed.
Sure, Sam was pretty much the most sexual person Carly had ever met and Freddie, as much as he'd like to deny, wasn't too far behind Sam, but still. Carly thought they'd been pretty restrained around Spencer. Sam usually wouldn't detach her hands from Carly when Spencer was around, taking advantage of the fact that Freddie could do nothing but watch, while Carly remained apathetic towards the two. Sure, maybe every now and then Sam had engaged in a fun risk-make out session as soon as Spencer turned his back but they had never gotten caught. And sure, Freddie and Sam did have that eye sex thing- but really, it was more like an eye-rape since Sam seemed to force it on Freddie and be done in a matter of minutes.
"Did Spencer pick up on it too? Maybe just a little?" Carly stared at the iCarly studio door, mind wondering to the three engaging in god knows what on the floor below.
Sasha frowned and gave a small shake of her head. "I still think he was getting over the 'my little sister likes girl' matter." Carly tasted the faint taste of blood as she chewed on her lip. "Want to head downstairs?"
"Yes, Please."
--
When Carly and Sasha came down the stairs, they were greeted with the sight of Sam standing on the coffee table with Freddie in a tight headlock, throwing her head back and laughing. Spencer was off to the side, leaning against the kitchen counter and watching the scene with a look akin to morbid interest. Sort of like a car wreck, you just can't look away.
Carly slowly made her way over to her brother, unsure of what had taken place while she was upstairs with Sasha. When she was close enough, Spencer asked a question absently.
"So how does this, like work? With the three of you and the two of them. Isn't what's going on considered domestic abuse now?"
Carly is back to chewing her lip, voice small. "Freddie's agreed to not press charges."
It finally really registers that his sister and his girlfriend have come back down stairs and he turns towards Carly, who still looks hesitant. He pushes off from the counter and moves around it, holding out his arms.
"Come `ere, kid."
And then the world doesn't seem so dark and scary; it's all butterflies and rainbows and carebears again.
Carly moves quickly to her big brother and they hug it out something fierce while Sasha stands off to the side smiling and Sam and Freddie don't even notice there are other people in the room because they are in a battle of wills-- Sam clearly winning.
The brunette girl looks up from the hug. "So you aren't mad, or like disappointed… disgusted?" She ended quietly and all Spencer could do was shake his head and smile gently.
"You three have basically always been in a relationship, now it just comes with" He pauses, and maybe grimaces a bit. "shirtless time. Which by the way, never again in my living room."
"Sorry." Carly squeaks out while blushing.
"It's okay, just caught me off guard is all."
Carly smiled brightly before looking over to her significant others and letting out a tiny sigh.
"Better go break them up before Freddie needs a neck brace. We'll go upstairs."
Spencer gave her an almost alarmed look so she continued on quickly.
"To work on iCarly!"
Spencer wasn't quite sure he believed her but said nothing as she moved over to Sam and Freddie, standing in front of them with her hip popped out-- her adorably intimidating stance. Freddie looked guilty (though he shouldn't be) and Sam looked proud (though she shouldn't be) and it wasn't long before Carly was dragging the two upstairs to work on iCarly.
As the kids ran upstairs, Spencer moved back into the kitchen and over to the fridge, starting to get some stuff out to cook dinner. He almost forgot Sasha was over until she spoke and he turned around to find her now leaning on the counter with a coy grin.
"You know your sister has the right idea. About the whole threesome thing. Hey, I've always found your doorman-- what's his name? Lewbert? I've always found him pretty attractive. Why don't we go ask hi-"
To which he instantly replied while plugging his ears: "La la la la can't hear you."
"Or Ms. Benson across the hall, I always thought you two had a lot of pent up sexual tension."
"She's like fifty!" Spencer exclaimed.
"I thought you said cougars were hot?"
"Yeah, when they look like Courtney Cox, not a creature from the black lagoon."
Sasha just shrugged, still grinning.
"You know, your sister and her friend are right. Freddie is kinda cute."
"I will break up with you right now." Spencer said with a resoluteness.
"No you won't."
And then he broke.
"I know but stop." He whined out. "You're making my tummy hurt."
"You know one person is enough for me. Just not your sister judging from the noise from upstairs."
"Stop it!"
"I wonder exactly who has the magic hands according to Carly."
Spencer's eyes widened. "I just threw up in my mouth, a little."
"Gross, Spence."
"I know right, here, come give me a kiss."
And then Spencer proceeded to chase Sasha around the apartment.