Chapter Eleven
The morning that met him was bleak and Lex felt no desire to leave his comfortable bed. As he stared bleary eyed through the window at the overcast sky, he realized he wasn't in bed but had fallen asleep on the couch. He glanced at the fire which should have fizzled out to see it roaring cheerfully. A quiet clang of dishware made him sit up and he saw Trudy tiptoeing about in the kitchen. She met his eyes with a small smile.
"Did I wake you?" She asked softly as though someone were still sleeping in the room.
"No." Lex shook his head, rubbing the remaining sleep from his eyes. "Didn't mean to fall asleep down here. How long have you been up?"
"An hour or so. You looked cold so I started another fire."
Lex wondered why he hadn't heard Trudy. It had been years since he'd slept so deeply without the help of a sleep aid or alcohol. As he stretched and stood he tried to remember the last time he felt so comfortable sleeping anywhere. Sleep hadn't been a friend of Lex's in a long while. Yet here in the farmhouse it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
"Hungry?" Trudy interupted his thoughts and he looked up with a grin.
"Yeah. Smells good." He commented graciously and approached the table.
"Just some homefries and eggs." Trudy smiled as she scooped the last of their breakfast onto his plate. Lex glanced at her out the side of his eye and marveled at the odd domesticity of the moment. There seemed something so mundane and normal about Trudy fixing him breakfast. As though they'd spent years doing this every morning, an old married couple who had perfected the dance over time. As she need do is offer him a mug of coffee and the daily newspaper to complete the ubsurd fantasy.
He waited until she sat across from him before shoveling a forkful of eggs into his eager mouth. Trudy watched him enjoying his food and wondered at the playful smirk on his face.
"What?" She finally asked. "What's so amusing?"
"I dunno." Lex shook his head in awe. "Just this. Someone cooking for me. I pretty much order all my food out." They both chuckled. "Well, except when I have dinner with Salene. That girl still makes a killer vegetable pie."
Trudy laughed. "Why don't you just learn to cook for yourself?"
He shrugged with a boyish grin. "I dunno, it's not the same I guess. Sometimes I'll be sitting there eating a pizza and I'll think, man I'd really like someone to make me a plate of baked beans right now... with ketchup." Lex grinned widely as Trudy laughed at the mention of their earliest cuisine in the mall. "Honestly. There's something about someone cooking for you... Damn, I'd even settle for a plate of Zandra's burnt spaghetti."
Trudy was really laughing now and it made Lex feel good. "It's odd, the things you miss." She finally said while shaking her head in amusement.
"Yeah," He nodded in agreement. For a moment their eyes caught and Lex suddenly found it difficult to swallow. There was something in Trudy's expression that seemed to be speaking to him, calling his name as though wanting him to rise from his seat, lean across the table and...
"Momma Momma!" Brady's excited shrieks as she burst through the front door shook Lex from his thoughts and he and Trudy broke contact. "Birch had her kittens! Four of them and they're so cute!"
The little girl brought with her a gust of chilled, damp air and Lex got up quickly to shut the door behind her. Turning back he finally noticed the smallest hint of spotted, slicked fur sticking out of Brady's collar and heard the faint mew of the animal she held.
"Isn't he adorable?" Brady gazed at both Lex and Trudy with awe in her eyes. "I was out there feeding Thumper when I heard them. Birch had them under the chicken coop."
"That's a good place to keep them warm." Trudy commented as she stroked the kitten's head softly.
"They're all so cute but none of them have opened their eyes yet." Brady pulled the tiny creature from the warmth of her frayed coat to show him off to Lex. "The others are all dark. He's the only one who looks like Birch. Don't ya just love his spots?" Lex couldn't help but nod and return Brady's happy smile. He found her amazement at all he took for granted in life to be refreshing. As though he were seeing the wonders of the world around them through her young, untainted eyes. "Can I keep this one Momma?"
Trudy watched her daughter nuzzle the kitten with her nose. She'd already planned on trading Birch's offspring with local farmers. They had no need for another cat but she couldn't resist the joy on Brady's face. Maybe the little mongrel would be of some use with the mice in the cellar.
"I'll think about it." She finally answered. "Now go put him back before his mother misses him. She may not take care of him if he's got your scent all over him."
"Okay." Before turning to go Brady looked to Lex. "Do you have any animals?" The question caught him off guard and he shifted uncomfortably as he shook his head. Brady didn't notice this as she skipped off with a smile.
"Watch out." Trudy shook her head with a smile and turned to clean out the frying pan. "She'll be trying to send you home with one of those next."
"We don't exactly... have pets." Lex didn't meet her eyes and took his seat.
"None at all?"
"No."
"So no dog parks in the New City huh?"
Lex shrugged nervously and stuffed homefries into his mouth to keep from answering. He didn't want to tell Trudy the truth afraid she would be disgusted as he himself once had been. The truth was that in this new world the food supply couldn't be wasted. It wasn't as if there were cattle farms around and they certainly couldn't import more pigs and chickens. It only made sense that animals that were of no use otherwise became the new food source.
In the beginning he had wanted to throw up at the thought of eating dog or any other furry creature that one thought of as house pet. But eventually with time it became normal to have squirrel soup instead of chicken. Chicken had become a rare delicacy saved for special occasions. The eggs were more important than the meat so the flightless fowl was pretty safe as were most birds. Now they had breeding farms for rabbits, cats, dogs, raccoons, opossums. If it had four legs and couldn't give milk or perform some other useful task, it was a meal. Trudy watched him squirm at first confused by any sort of shy uncertainty in the man. Then it dawned on her why he seemed so tongue tied.
"You eat them don't you?"
He finally met her eyes. There was no judgment in her voice and not a hint of surprise on her face. "Well yeah..." He stuttered still feeling the need to explain himself. "I mean..."
"It's okay Lex." She reassured amused. "You're not the only ones. I mean it's a new world and we can't eat like we used to, which isn't necessarily a bad thing." She smirked.
Lex was surprised. "So you and Brady eat..." He trailed off.
"Sure." She nodded. "Whatever I can kill that isn't diseased. I mean, meat's meat."
Again Lex nodded feeling slightly foolish. He should have guessed that others would eventually have adopted the same lifestyle. He suddenly wondered if Trudy's constant diet of eggs and other conventional foods had been her attempt at making him feel more at home. Perhaps she hadn't wanted to assume anything about the eating habits of the New City.
"Yeah I should've known. I just didn't want to say anything in front of Brady." He shrugged. "She's just a kid in all."
Trudy couldn't hide her smile but it held no mockery. She was genuinely tickled at how endearing Lex had become over the years though she wasn't exactly sure how she'd expected him to act. She always knew he was capable of being sweet when he wanted to be however he rarely ever directed such behavior in her direction when they were young. While it was a welcomed change from the arrogant boy she'd lived with for many excruciating years, Trudy couldn't help but wonder if Lex's softer edges were a result of stifled pain. Despite his efforts to hide it, she saw the melancholy that clouded his eyes. His reserved and withdrawn domeanor reminded Trudy of a wild horse whose spirit had been broken.
"Lex," She finally chuckled gently. "Brady was born in this world. She didn't come from a life where dogs and cats and other pets were members of the family. She doesn't know of a difference between domestic and wild animals. To her a kitten is no different than a new born pig. Their both cute and their both food. She knows those kittens will be traded at a nearby farm and most likely eaten. What we've all had to adjust to is completely natural for her."
Lex frowned as he thought this over. "I get the feeling Brady is gonna be a hell of a lot tougher than any of us were."
Trudy laughed. "I think she already is." He watched her as she finished scraping the pan and grabbed a pot to fill with water. She took the pot and began to head over to the pump sink but stopped by his chair. "It was really sweet of you to think of her feelings though." She added as an after thought before kissing his cheek and continuing on her way.
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That afternoon the gray skies finally opened up and unleashed a torrent of icy rain. Despite Lex's protests Trudy insisted on working on the fence in the dismal weather, insisting it couldn't wait. Confined to the house, his leg still unfit for heavy labor, Lex watched her through the window with discerning eyes, Brady's lively conversation filling the background. Sometimes Trudy's figure, distorted by the rain, disappeared from view and Lex found himself pacing from one window to the next until he caught sight of her again. He wasn't sure why it bothered him so much to have her out there though he was certain it had to do with more than his ego.
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"Ouch!" Trudy cursed softly as she slit her palm along the jagged wire attached to the broken fence. The cold was making her wet hands numb and she was less accurate as she shivered. Despite the large poncho she wore, Trudy felt frozen to her core and being slightly damp wasn't keeping her any warmer. Fighting the urge to give up and go inside she pressed on knowing how important this fence was to she and Brady's survival. Several agonizing minutes passed before she caught movement out the corner of her eye. Startled Trudy jumped up and breathed an annoyed sigh of relief seeing that it was just their mule Ocean. He'd wandered out of the pen she'd accidently left open and was quickly making his way across the field.
"Ocean, you stupid mule!" Trudy called in exasperation and started after him. "Get back here!"
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"Have you ever made candles before Lex?" Brady was saying as she sat playing with several marbles in front of the fireplace. "That's right, you have electricity in the city. You've got regular lamps and everything. We have to use beeswax and animal fat for our lanterns."
Lex answered in a distracted murmur, his eyes glued to the window. Trudy had disappeared again and he searched the blurred view before him for any sign of her.
"I could show you how to make them." Brady continued unaffected by his lack of response. "We have some beeswax in the cellar. Maybe we could make some tomorrow and I can show you how to color them and everything. Who invented electricity anyway? Momma can't remember and we don't have any books about it..."
Brady's voice faded away as Lex narrowed his eyes at the soaked world outside the coziness of the house. Where is she? He wondered in vain and willed Trudy to reappear. Her prolonged absence was worrisome and he felt unsettled, a knot of urgency forming in his stomach.
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"Damn you Ocean!" Trudy screamed against the deafening rain. "I'm gonna kill you when I get my hands on you!"
As though understanding her threat the mule continued to avade capture as he trotted further over the hillside. He'd already taken Trudy on quite the chase and she was startled by the site of the swollen river in the valley. They were at least a mile from the house now and her boots were soaked and sloshed with cold water. If he wasn't so vital to field work, she might have left the dumb animal to wander and take his chances in the wild. As it was she had to catch him and continued to run after him toward the rapidly flowing water. Fortunately for Trudy, Ocean paused at the river bank as though confused as to where to run next. Sprinting forward Trudy lunged and managed to grab the rope around the mule's neck with a stiff and shivering hand.
"Gotcha!" She cried out in triumph only to lose her balance, slipping on the slick rocks and falling into the frigid river with a shrill scream. For a frightening moment the fierce current pulled Trudy under and she could feel her left boot catch itself on something sharp. Luckily Ocean's foothold was firm and Trudy, her shaking hands still desperately clinging to his rope, was able to pull herself above the surface. Gasping she kicked her leg loose, losing her boot and struggled against the flow of water to pull herself back onto the rocks. Trembling with cold and fear Trudy panted on her knees trying to ignore the fact that she could have easily drowned. Thank goodness for Ocean's rope. She glared up at the mule and muttered through chattering teeth. "Ya know, one of these days I'm gonna kill you."
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"Do you wanna hear some music?"
Lex briefly looked away from the window and felt guilty for ignoring Brady's attempts to engage him in conversation. "Music? Do you know how to play an instrument?"
"Actually I can." The little girl stood proudly, glad to have a real answer from her companion. "Hawk taught me the forest flute but I've got something better. Something from the old world."
He watched as she dashed up the stairs and glanced back out the window. For a moment he saw nothing and sighed in disappointment. Suddenly He could see her trudging through the field, the figure of a mule tagging along behind her. A small relieved smile danced on Lex's lips before he noticed Trudy's disheveled appearance. There was something wrong with the way she was limping. And her rain hat was missing.
Not taking a moment to grab a jacket Lex raced out the door into the downpour. Ignoring the blast of icy water hitting his stunned face he forced his leg to bear the brunt of his weight and sprinted to Trudy. Through the blinding rain he could now see one of her boots was missing as well.
"Where were you?" He shouted and Trudy shakingly looked up at his approach. Her pale, frozen complexion startled him and as Lex reached her side he realized she was soaked to the skin. "Christ! What happened?"
"Ocean," She shivered violently, her eyes clouded and drooped with fatigue. "River..."
Lex glanced at the guilty animal before taking Trudy's arm and pulling it over his shoulders. She looked as though she were about to collapse from exhaustion. At the very least hypothermia. "Come on," He gently pulled the rope from her clenched fist. "Let's get you inside."
"Ocean..." Trudy murmured grateful for Lex's strong support as her legs were turning to useless, numbed weights beneath her body.
"Don't worry. I've got him."
As quickly as he could, Lex guided Trudy to the house, tugging the reluctant Ocean behind him. The cold wetness was stinging his skin and Lex could only imagine how Trudy was feeling at the moment. Remembering his own torturous night spent in freezing rain he quickened his pace. Pausing to secure the mule inside the barn Lex then lifted Trudy off her feet and carried her inside.
Brady was back on the couch with what looked like a gramaphone sitting beside her. "Where'd you go?" She asked before looking up her eyes suddenly fearful at the sight of her mother. "Momma?"
"She's fine Brady." Lex panted reassuringly as he kicked the door shut with his foot. "Just cold and wet."
"Momma?" Brady rushed to the dripping couple and touched Trudy's icy face. "Momma, are you okay?"
"I'm... I'm okay b... baby." Trudy's teeth chattered uncontrollably as she tried to maintain for the sake of her frightened daughter. Her insides were screaming, the shock of her fall and near drowning coupled with the exposure to the cruel elements were all hitting her at once.
"Clear the couch Brady." Lex commanded in as gentle a tone as he could muster and set Trudy down after the grammaphone had been removed. "We just gotta get her warm. Isn't that right Trude?" Yanking off the useless poncho he draped the blanket around Trudy's trembling shoulders.
"That's no good." Brady suddenly spoke. "You're just locking in the cold that way. We have to get all the wet stuff off or she'll just get colder." The unexpected maturity in her tone surprised Lex and he watched as Brady pulled the blanket from her mother. Her small hands hesitating only a moment, she started to gently tug off Trudy's dripping sweater. "We need hot water, don't we Momma?"
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That night thunderous rain filled the void of usual silence. Mother and daughter were already asleep, Brady entwined in Trudy's arms like a small, ivy covered pillar. Only one life stirred within the dark house, his brooding eyes staring out into the black night. Sleep was eluding him once again and never had Lex wanted a spice joint so badly in his life.
Earlier on they had successfully stripped Trudy to her bare ecessentials and warmed her in a hot bath. Lex had been oddly embarrassed to see Trudy in her underclothes and did his best to keep his eyes on the floor. He was also surprised and impressed with Brady's determined handle on the situation. In seconds the little girl before him had transformed into a miniature survivalist. Only the frightened glint in her eyes and the slight unsure trembling of her hands gave away her true age.
Afterward, when Trudy was feeling more like herself they bundled her up and set her in front of the fire. They shared a light dinner of goat cheese and bread and spent the remaining twilight hours listening to Trudy tell of her adventure. She'd tried to laugh it off, describing a few other times when nature had gotten the best of her. Lex watched while Brady sat curled up at her mother's side, the emotional wear of this recent experience showing on her young face.
This, of all things, worried Lex most of all. Though initially scared at the sight of her mother, Brady had stepped up to the plate and taken control like an adult. She'd acted as though this sort of thing happened all the time. Which left Lex to wonder how often Trudy put herself in harm's way just to ensure their way of life. It bothered him to think that Brady perhaps spent much of her young life scared that someday her mother might not return from one of her adventures. What disturbed him just as much was the thought that Brady might have already accepted this fearful reality.
Even more so what seemed to be keeping Lex awake was how he'd felt when Trudy disappeared. Being unable to see her, feeling concerned for her welfare, sensing something was wrong... this triggered something and Lex could still feel it stirring inside his chest. Like a small beast that had been asleep for a long time, awakened by such a startling experience. Lex recognized the emotion though he did not welcome it. For years he'd done all he could to avoid feeling it and it's sudden reappearance was nerve racking at best. It had been a long time since Lex allowed anyone close enough to stir such a feeling in him. But seeing Trudy that afternoon, realizing she could have drowned or collapsed or... Lex sighed and bit back the urge to curse. He'd been scared for her.