Chapter 2: Rachel's Song

A.N.: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, story alerted, author alerted and favorite storied me! :) Glad you're enjoying.

Also to clarify, timeline. I wasn't quite sure where I was going to put this, but I think it's AU after Hairography. I don't like what they did to Puck in that ep, so I'm going to take this opportunity to fix it. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. But I'm hoping to get it for Christmas.

Rachel sat on the stool in jeans and a sweater, rolling her shoulders to release the tension. It's like performing for the first time again...The guitar felt alien yet familiar in her grip. I can't believe how long it's been since I played guitar on stage. She strummed and tuned. Maybe I can sacrifice the skirts now and then, it might be worth it to broaden my musical reputation. She took a breath, picking out the melody and letting the song pour out.

"Remember all the things we wanted?
Now all our memories, they're haunted,
We were always meant to say goodbye...
Even without fists held high,
Never would've turned out right,
We were never meant for do or die..."

Noah closed the door silently behind him and sat in the shadows. Damn, I feel like a stalker. But the Every Breath You Take kind. Like a good one. Maybe I can talk to her. She hates Mercedes. Maybe she'll side with me. Obviously won't tell her details, just that Mercedes told me to back off something I want. She's ambitious, she'll get it. Is she wearing jeans? He sat back to listen.

"I didn't want us to burn out, I...
Didn't come here to hurt you,
I can't stop...

I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road,
Someone's gotta go...
And I want you to know,
You couldn't have loved me better,
But I want you to move on,
So I'm already gone..."

Rachel kept her eyes tightly shut against her tears. I only ever meant well, damn it. For Noah, for Finn, for me...I only ever want to help...She looked out towards the bleachers.

"Looking at you makes it harder,
But I know you'll find another,
That doesn't always make you wanna cry...
Started with a perfect kiss, then
We could feel the poison set in -
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive...

You know that I love you so, I...
I love you enough
to let you go..."

The chorus came around again and Noah swallowed hard. That line...why does that line make me feel...itchy? 'I love you enough to let you go'. What the hell does that mean? You don't let go if you really love someone. You fight for them. He looked up at her and watched the tears that escaped as she sang. Something tugged in his chest and he sighed as he got up and left the auditorium. Whatever the hell it means, I don't think I have the right to sit there and watch her cry.

"I'm already gone...
I'm already gone...
You can't make it feel right,
When you know that it's wrong...
I'm already gone,
Already gone...
There's no moving on,
So I'm already gone..."

As the last note rang in the silence, Rachel jumped in surprise. That was the door closing.

Who was listening?

***

Noah sat in the music room with the lights off. He picked out an absent melody on the guitar, not really playing at all. Just enough to soothe him. This sucks, dude. For once I want to do the right thing and I'm still getting flack for it. What the hell does Mercedes know anyway?

The door opened and the light flicked on, followed by a curse. "What the hell you doin' up there in the dark, white boy?"

Figures. "Trying to figure out where to hide the body when I kill you. There's a lot of body to hide," he smirked.

"Oh, you better watch what you--" Mercedes caught herself. "Look, about before. I was a bitch. Who am I kidding, I am a bitch. But you're an ass, ya know. You slept with your best friend's girl."

"But I didn't force her! We were both drinking. I didn't do anything she didn't want!" he protested. Why am I always the bad guy?

Climbing the risers to sit next to him, she laid a hand on his shoulder. "I know," she reassured softly. "I may think you're an ass, but you're not that guy." She looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "Did I- did I actually hurt your feelings?"

"I don't have any," he scoffed. None that I'm sharing with you anyway.

Mercedes shook her head. "Yeah, yeah you do. And I hurt them." She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Puck. For real."

He brushed her hand off his shoulder. "Whatever." Like I care about what you say anyway. Talking to Berry wasn't 'cause I was upset, I just like trashing people.

"No, not whatever. I really am sorry. You may be an idiot, but you aren't the only idiot here. You gotta know, though, nothing's gonna change. She chose Finn. She wants him to be the father. If you give a damn about her -- hell, if you give a damn about the baby -- you need to let her know you're there, and then back off and let her choose you. Forcing your way in ain't gonna do anything but ruin a bunch of lives."

'I love you enough to let you go...' The line played through his head unbidden. So that's what it means, he bitterly realized. "But it's so hard to leave it alone," he protested quietly. "I'm no deadbeat."

"Puck, no one says you are. Well, no one knows enough to think...never mind, point is you're not. And Quinn knows that, even if she won't admit it. So what's this really about anyway?"

My daughter. He looked at Mercedes but the moment was broken as the door opened and the rest of the club poured in. He put the angry look back on and Mercedes stood and walked away.

Rachel started to move towards him, but stopped at the look on his face. Leave Noah Puckerman alone, Rachel. She dropped into the nearest empty seat in the row immediately below him. Just in case he changed his mind...She pulled her sheet music out of her bag for lack of anything else to do, but didn't focus on it.

Instead she listened to the melody softly floating from the guitar behind her.

Is that...? Could he...? She turned her head slightly, to watch his fingers on the chords. You've got to be kidding me.

She looked up at him then, willing her heart to stay out of her eyes. He's hung up on Quinn, don't get your hopes up. And you're still hung up on Finn. "Noah? Is there some reason you're playing Kelly Clarkson?"

His fingers faltered on the strings. "What are you talking about, Berry?"

"It was you," she insisted. "Someone was in the auditorium this morning, and I think it was you." How much did you hear, I wonder...She looked at him questioningly. "But why?"

Mr. Schuester chose that moment to walk in, and Noah breathed a sigh of relief. Thank you, Mr. Schue.

Rachel only narrowed her eyes at him. "I still want to know why, Noah."

Damn. She won't give up until I say something. "Payback for you invading my space," he curtly replied. "Your song sucked."

"Yeah, that's why you were playing it when you weren't paying attention. Nice try." Rachel opened her mouth to continue, but closed it. Leave Noah Puckerman alone, Rachel! She sighed as she turned her attention to Mr. Schue. Would help if he returned the favor, she thought sourly.

***

Noah lingered in the hall until he saw Rachel at her locker, and waited until she was hidden behind its open door before making his approach.

Rachel sighed heavily as she hoisted the thin fabric guitar case on her back. Now I remember why I don't play the guitar as much, this is exceedingly unwieldy. She hefted the handle of her rolling backpack and closed the locker door, jumping a foot in the air as Noah's face appeared behind it. "Noah Puckerman! You scared the daylights out of me!" She'd dropped the handle of her bag and both of them bent to retrieve it. Noah's face was an inch from hers as they straightened, the smell of cherry slushie and a hint of tobacco wafting toward her as he exhaled. She shuddered ever so slightly. Damn erotic nose-brain. She tried not to flinch at the spark from the touch of his hand as he relinquished the handle to her.

"Um, sorry, Berry." Dude, you're a stud, what's with this apologizing and crap? Man up! "I, uh...your song didn't suck so bad," he offered.

What does he want? "Um, thanks," she said quietly. This is extremely unsettling. "I'm sorry for eavesdropping the other day. It's just...that song, it sounded so sad." She looked at him then, searching his eyes. "Do you...perhaps...want to talk about it now?"

He ran a hand awkwardly over the back of his head. "Uh, no." Then what, idiot? What are you trying to accomplish here? "But I wanted to ask you something. About your song. There was a line in there. I just...I didn't really get it." Or I just don't want to believe what I think it means.

Rachel looked at him, brows furrowed in confusion. He wants to talk about the meaning of song lyrics? Seriously? "Um, sure, ask away."

"I love you enough to let you go," he said quietly, scuffing a shoe on the ground and not meeting her gaze.

Rachel blinked as her heart skipped a beat. Wow. Did not see that coming. She took a breath. "Um...it's about caring about someone so much that, well, that you let them go, you let them make their own choices, even though it breaks your heart. That you love someone so deeply to want what's best for them, even..." She swallowed. "Even when it's not you." Even when it's Quinn. Again.

He nodded once, slowly. Yeah, that's what I thought. Damn it. "Thanks, Berry," he replied, and turned and walked away.

I must have stepped into the twilight zone. Rachel sighed, and wheeled her bag out to the parking lot to wait for her fathers.

***

Noah sat in his truck, gazing out in the direction of the football field. I'm not that guy. I'm not a deadbeat, I'm not a loser. I'm not. But Quinn isn't giving me a chance to prove it. He looked down at his phone. Okay, so maybe she did give me a chance and I screwed it up. But what does she expect? I'm a guy! He ran a hand down his face. And I'm scared. He swallowed. Whoa. I'm actually scared. That's not badass. Is that what it is? I'm trying so hard to prove that I'm still a badass and not be a deadbeat at the same time, so I come off like an idiot instead?

And what the hell am I doing actually thinking about this? He shook his head to clear it. I'm turning into a girl. He watched as Rachel primly took a seat on a bench outside the school, dwarfed by the guitar case. He snickered. She looks ridiculous with that thing on her back. He gave her a once-over from the privacy of the truck. But those jeans look awesome. He started the truck and drove up to the bench. "Hey Berry," he called. "Get in."

Rachel's eyebrows met her hairline in surprise. "Um, thanks!" I'm not going to second guess this. She took the guitar carefully off her back to climb into the cab, pulling her backpack and the case in after her. She positioned both in front of her and closed the door, texting her dad that she'd gotten a ride.

Noah looked over at her and snickered. "You know the long, thin neck of the guitar case, between your legs like that --"

"You are repulsive!" Rachel interjected, scandalized. "Must everything be sexual? And here I had hoped that your effort to discern the underlying meaning of those song lyrics was indicative of unexpected depths to your personality, Noah." And I know you have them, I caught a glimpse for a little bit...She shook herself. Leave him alone, Rachel!

He snorted as he drove. "Yeah, because the girl who told the Celibacy Club to put out and humped Finn onstage can really talk." You're as frisky as the rest of us.

Rachel blushed deeply. I should have known that would come back to haunt me. "I may have made...inappropriate comments or behaved...wantonly, in a misguided effort to attract Finn's attention, or to insure the success of Glee, but if you notice I do not act that way normally, nor do I express such...desires...in public. Such efforts have proven entirely unsuccessful." No thanks to Kurt setting me up. She angled the neck of the guitar case towards the dashboard.

Noah glanced over and guffawed. "Dude, that makes it even worse."

Huh? Rachel looked down. "Noah!" she exclaimed, exasperated. "You are...infuriating!"

"And you're a nosy know it all. It evens out," he said with a smirk.

"You --! I -- you are --!" This is why I wrote that damn sign! "You are absolutely maddening." In every way! She concentrated on taking deep, even breaths.

Noah smiled a Puck smile. "Maybe it's 'cause I know that even if you don't normally act all sexy and stuff, on the inside you're just as horny and pent up as the rest of us." He raised his eyebrows at her suggestively, blowing her an exaggerated smacking kiss.

"Ooo, you cad!" Rachel burst out, smacking his arm. "Does it make you feel that much better about yourself to act like an oversexed juvenile cretin? Is proving your so-called-'badassness' worth never living up to your potential? You are visually appealing, Noah, but I know, whether you acknowledge it or not, that you are also vocally talented and intelligent. Perhaps not as talented and intelligent as I, but you have shown yourself to be completely capable of much more than this. You own your own business, your ingenious but nonetheless illegal strategy for maximizing our income from the bake sale was a great success -- there's more to you than cougars and Slushies, Noah, but for some incomprehensible reason you find that repugnant." She crossed her arms angrily and turned to stare out the window.

Noah sat speechless, glancing over at a red light to see Rachel furiously glaring at the scenery. Dude. Seriously? Rachel Berry thinks I have potential? He frowned at the road as he remembered her saying something to that effect right before he'd found himself on the receiving end of a Slushie attack. "You weren't just saying that when we were together 'cause you liked making out with me?" he blurted.

Is he that oblivious?! Rachel's eyes widened in disbelief, and she rolled them at him as she turned back to face him. "Noah. While I did enjoy our more intimate moments," she held up a hand at the leer that rose to his lips, "I pride myself on my veracity. I would not have said how proud I was to have you on my arm in front of the whole school if I hadn't meant it." She looked ahead of them. "Green light," she prompted, pointing back at the road.

Musical note: Rachel's song is "Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson, the Stripped Sessions version.

A.N.: Love it? Hate it? Out of character? Leave a review and let me know!!