She Who Lacks Power - Part 1 of 2
A small gleam of light catches Ashe's eye. Just beyond the bottom step of the flight of stairs leading into the Manse's unused servants' entrance, the last rays of the setting sun reveal the edge of something metal, something small.
Ashe bends down to investigate, squatting on the back of her heels. A thin metal band has been jammed between two of the dock's planks and it is covered in fresh dirt marked with a heavy boot print. She scrapes the muck away with her fingernail.
Yes. This is it.
Ashe glances over her left shoulder and then to her right. No one sees her. She draws a small dagger from her boot and uses the tip to work the silver bracelet free. Although caked with dirt along the top, the band appears to not have suffered any damage.
Vaan had been careless to let an item of power drop unnoticed. Ashe knows Vaan means to help, but he often when he acts he forgets to think. For most of the day Ashe puzzled over why Vaan, of all people, spent the morning searching for Gabranth and why he brought him back to the Manse. In the morning, Penelo had Basch send the Magister away. None of it made any sense.
Ashe toys with the bracelet, brushing away dirt with her thumb. Runes shimmer along the band's inner face. She tries to read them and recognizes the shapes of the ancient letters, but she is unable to decipher the words.
Ashe pockets the silver band. Crouched at the base of the stairs, she waits until the sun has set.
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A few months back during their first visit to Balfonheim, Penelo stepped into an antiquities shop tucked away at the end of a back alley. Ashe had been with her that day, and Penelo purchased the bracelet without showing any concern that the item was illegal. No merchant of good repute could sell her the license required to carry it, but none of that stopped the transaction from occurring.
The dealer watched the girl as she stepped high on her toes, twirling to the music that played in the shop. "So, you've dabbled in the veiled arts and know the ways of the Dancer," the dealer said.
Penelo swayed her hips as she performed the first few steps of a powerful charm, but she only mimicked the movements rather than let herself fall into the light trance required to raise the charm's effect. The girl giggled as if it was all an innocent act. Meanwhile, the dealer eyed her narrow waist and the curve of her hips. Ashe thought him lecherous until she realized he was only hungry for a sale.
"Come take a look in the back," he beckoned Penelo to follow him. "I've a few rare trinkets you might like."
The girl bought the bangle for a sum of gil nearly as much as Basch's new sword, but never once had Penelo understood the power she held. It was little different from when Larsa gave her the gem of manufaced nethicite that she referred to as her good luck charm. And all of this confirmed what Ashe already knew: someone like Penelo was not meant to be a leader of men. Still, Penelo is a faithful subject most of the time.
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Keeping her body low and close to the building, Ashe skirts along the back side of the manse. When she comes to a ladder that hangs over the side of the dock, she steals one last look to her left and to her right. She's still alone. Swinging her legs over the edge, Ashe begins her climb down into the darkness below.
The tide is out, and she knows it has left the wet sand flats exposed along the length of the dock. No one will see her as she crosses the empty beach. She'll head to the city's shopping district to purchase potions, and return an hour later as if her only destination had been the merchants' stalls.
Neither Vaan nor Penelo will know until after all has been done. In time, they'll understand why. Without a new shard, Dalmasca must take power that can be found. Ashe is doing this for her people, and her people will thank her once their freedom has been returned.
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The wet sand is firm beneath the soles of her boots. Her pace is quick as her fingers grip the hilt of a poisoned blade. No matter what happens, she will not die in the jaws of a creature who knows nothing but hunger.
The sky to the west darkens as she follows the curve of the beach, heading up to the docks that line Balfonheim's center of trade.
She can see the lights of the tavern, the people spilling out onto the deck behind it. They hunt for empty tables where they can wash down their evening meal with a mug of ale. It is the same tavern where Vaan found Gabranth after Penelo sent him away. Penelo and Fran are probably there now, and Balthier with them, the pirate ignoring them yet still leading strangers to presume he will bed both women after they leave. The pirate is shameless, but Balthier is right to do what he does. Few men of Balfonheim follow a moral code, and they act as poorly as salaried soldiers, speaking crude words while they swill pint after pint of ale.
The slick surface of an unexpected stone suddenly makes her foot to slip. Her ankle twists, causing her leg to bow painfully, but after stumbling for the length of an indrawn breath, Ashe regains her balance. She quickens her pace across the remaining beachfront.
She misses Vossler, misses him more now than she has for many months. The Yensa now seems half a world away, but she whispers her forgiveness into the chilly darkness.
"I'm sorry I was not who you needed me to be."
And, as an afterthought, "I think I now know who I am meant to be."
There is no sound of acknowledgment apart from the light huffs of her breath.
Vossler had only done what he thought best during the worst of his weakness. But in his weakness he failed to trust her. But she has been the one who was weak, the one who had faltered. And she never should have blamed him, never should have spat those final words in his face. The accusation of broken trust still burns on her lips. She knows she carries a dark venom in her blood. Everyone else thought the poison would consumer her, but it has not. It will not. She has proven it. On top of the Pharos, not one of Gabranth's words incited her to bite a hole though the flesh of the world.
There is no power to be found in the pangs of remorse.
Power is silent.
But power is meaningless when standing alone. Who will willingly stand beside her? Basch raised his sword in her name only because his brother's challenge demanded it, and she still cannot trust him. Basch has never trusted her. He thinks she is politically naive and unwilling to negotiate. Since leaving Jahara, he attends to the counsel of a commonborn girl more than the commands of his Queen. He insists on contradicting her or saying nothing at all. It is clear to Ashe that Basch has abandoned his oath to the Order. Ever since Vossler left them, Basch has played the part of the masterless knight, but deep down, she knows Basch seeks the life of a freeman. He's lost all desire to lead soldiers into battle at his Sovereign's command.
She never sought anything from Basch, anyhow. But Balthier...? Even he appears to be withdrawing his aid. It seems in the end, he only cared to settle matters with his father. Soon he and Fran will leave too.
So, who has she left? Vaan? She forces herself to laugh. Vaan wants nothing more than a life of piracy, swift-winged airships that fly him high above squabblings of nations. But Vaan is kind. He aided her atop the Pharos, and she will always remember the magnitude of what he had offered.
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High on the beach, the dry sand slows her pace and steals her strength with every stride. She looks back. One by one, all of the lights in the Manse are being lit. The great building looks as if it is being set on fire and sent off to burn at sea.
When she returns to the Manse, she cannot submit to Al-Cid's offer of protection. Her father might have wanted her to make that choice, given how few options are left. Without the sword or the shard, she no longer retains a single claim to her family's name. What has Dalamsca left? Al-Cid's word that she is her father's daughter? Or Larsa's? But she still has another option that does not require Dalmasca's surrender.
Ashe reaches the base of causeway at the top of the beach. Rather than climb the stairs up, she leans against one of the wooden posts underneath. In the pitch-black void, heavy footsteps from above echo around her. The sounds of this place remind her of Vossler, of how he issued her commands to their men while she stood hidden in empty passages beneath Lowtown.
Never once should she have doubted her right to command. She should have never let herself be sent to Ondore so obediently. Had she not, Vossler would never had the chance to lose his faith. He would still be here. She has needed a Captain of the Order ever since he left her. Vossler carried out her commands whereas Basch refuses. Basch expects her to do everything on her own.
"It is not my duty to forge your alliances," Basch said one night Ozmone. "Do not think to rely on me as you have relied on Vossler. No good will come of it."
She wonders if Basch is still with his brother at the Manse, or if he has gone to the tavern to drink with the pirates and then stumble through a dance with Penelo. More and more, Basch spends his evenings trying to forget. His disinterest hurts, but she can no longer hate him for that. His pledge of duty died with her father, not with her.