Official Quote : They don't have Gundams, they have wings.
A/N : Influenza hit me like a truck; I woke up one morning and felt awful, while the day before I was fine.
Not in the state to speak much (hoarse voice). So instead of talking, I write. (smile) I know I have told you before, dearest Illico, but thanks again for giving me new ideas. Glad to see you again, dear Storms-winter. And dear Relwarcn, you may check the previous chapter, I've already had it fixed. So, everybody, here is my longest chapter ever : my sixth chapter. Enjoy!
Wings
-a Gundam Wing Fanfiction-
Chapter Six : Promnesia
~o~
promnesia n [U] 1 compelling sense of familiarity 2 a sense of eeriness, strangeness, or weirdness 3 scientific name for the phenomenon of déjà vu
~"I remember how we first met, in dreams yet to come."~
She woke up that morning with a light feeling in her heart.
Staying still on her bed, she admired the way some lights passed through the glass windows and the curtains, creating paths of reddish orange light on the high ceiling. Slowly, she stood up to her feet, walking towards her balcony. She shifted the curtains which was placed in front of the balcony's door aside, and pulled the door to open.
When she stepped outside, a gust of wind blew through her and into her room, causing her dress, and the curtains behind her, to flutter. A few trees in the garden below brayed, and its breezing sound somehow reminded her of home. She took more steps forward.
Leaning on the white stone fence, her eyes were set to the distance, to the horizon, where the sun of the land was rising. It was a magnificent view, seeing the sky glowed up brightly, while the land was still shadowed, covered by a slight yellow fog.
A world of magic, she thought to herself.
The world was still as strange and unwelcoming as before, nonetheless, it didn't seem that frightening anymore. That thought brought her the courage to face the new day, and she smiled to the sky, thinking about a certain boy who gave her that new impression of the world.
-.-.-
He didn't like the way they joked around him.
It was merely some useless noise, their mockery of each other, jesting about their own leniency. They were not jobless, actually, because the general had assigned some of the soldiers, included him, to clean and reshape the armament in the Weaponry Room. They did that, but not seriously, as they played with some weapons in the dungeon, acting as if they were masters in using it.
He ignored them as he continued to sharpen a sword, watching its side gleamed as he polished it to its best condition. In the corner of his sight, a soldier was twisting a javelin around, revolving it to make some turning moves, before he made a clumsy mistake and lost his grip, causing it to fall to the stone floor in a rattle. A fit of laughter followed right after the event.
He barely spared a glance. Pathetic soldiers.
-.-.-
She was pretty much in a good mood that day.
When the maids who brought her breakfast came into her room, she managed to thank them with a bright smile. They curtsied in return, no different than the usual, yet there was delight in their faces, replacing the stiff politeness which they had worn until the day before.
She ate her meal quickly, thinking about what she should do for today. Actually, she was eager to know more about magic. It sounded so interesting, and she had a feeling that it was related to the way to go back to her world. She felt her spirit lifting while the hope rose in her chest.
There was one person who might help her to learn. But first, she had to find his current spot today.
-.-.-
A faint sound of footsteps came from the hall. His ears perked up hearing the sound, yet there was nothing which could be hinted from his oblate façade. One would think that all his attention was poured into the action of furbishing an engraved round shield in his hands. The truth, it wasn't.
She has such light steps.
It just registered into his mind, the fact that she walked in such an almost soundless way. He thought over the previous days, wondering if she had always moved in that manner, in a fluid way, so quietly that it barely caused any sound.
He reminded himself that he only had a few encounters with her, and so he could hardly have time to keep up her appearance like that.
Withal, his ability to identify her typical way of walking, or her footsteps, was unneeded and inessential.
Heero didn't move from his seat, nor did he put down the metal shield in his hands. He just continued what he had been doing before, like all the other oblivious guys, who were still chattering around him. That… until the faint steps from behind the doors stopped, and a knock was heard instead.
-.-.-
She straightened her posture, lifting her head confidently. The door creaked to open in front of her, revealing a pair of greaves and sight of metallic chain-mail. She didn't expect too much, since she had gone to many other rooms in the castle without finding the one she looked for.
Yet, she was still very close to sigh when she looked to the man's face. It was not him, again.
The man went pale in seeing her, gasping audibly. "Princess!"
His shout was echoing in the dungeon, and the merry clamor behind the man fell into silence. She recoiled hopelessly. Not this reaction again.
She took a deep breath indiscernibly, and got hold of the man's gaze. She smiled her calm, soothing smile, and greeted him kindly. She waited until the man's face returned to its normal colour, before she went with her words.
"I just take a walk around the hall," she said the sentence which she had said many times before, "And I would like to get a sight of this room. Can you move some steps aside so I am able to enter?"
The man was slow to mumble his reply in his shaken condition. She gave him a clement smile, worrying a bit when the man took unstable steps away from the door. The man's face was a little bit too red for the usual colour of skin complexion, making her think over her words, trying to find a more subtle approach. She really didn't mean to intimidate so much.
What she didn't know was… the stutter and awkward expressions were all caused by the natural enchantment which came from within her. And so there was nothing she could do about it.
-.-.-
The room's tension was raised as the whole people inside, but him, stared to the opened doors in anticipation. And when a certain golden haired girl came through them, slight gasps and sharp inhaled breaths were heard from everyone. Except from him, of course.
Her blue eyes scanned the room, sweeping pass each one of them. He was the last person who stood up, while most of the men had done military bows and salutes for the girl. Then slowly, he looked up to her.
-.-.-
She felt guilty for causing them to strain like that.
The pressure in the dungeon was evident, exactly the opposite she had wished it to be. She acknowledged each bow and salute with assent nod, catching each pair of eyes, trying to get them to relax.
That was when she saw him, the only one in the room who didn't seem to be affected by her presence, the only one who didn't bother to treat her with appropriate formality. He stood there across the room, so still, so quietly… that his eyes on her were his only greeting to her. And in spite of the big helmet on his head, in spite of him being disguised among numerous similarly-dressed men in the room, she recognized him instantly.
The clear difference is too much for a hint, she thought amusedly, happy to finally find him.
-.-.-
She continued to look around the room, seemed to be interested in the glimmering weaponry on the stone walls.
And when she talked, she talked to the whole room. Her eyes were on everybody, everything else, not even once stopping on him. He would think that she didn't realize that he was here, he would… if not for a tiny, amused smile, which was tugging on her lips.
She was too good for an actress.
Pondering what had brought her to seek for him again, he watched the girl turned to the soldiers, gently asking them to continue their work before. He knew that she would not say anything to him, not with all these people around them. He knew that she was going to take her leave soon. But he also knew that he would be embittered by not knowing the reason she came to him today. And it made hard for him to act apathetic, to ignore her when she walked back to the doors.
"Now I will excuse myself…," she started to speak up, and he knew that that was the last glance she would pay to him, and the other men in the room, before she went out.
-.-.-
"I will escort you to your room."
She was more shocked by the sentence than the voice itself. Yes, his voice was shocking to be heard, since she had been so sure that he was not the one to speak up, to say anything to her. He was never much a conversationalist.
But it was more shocking to hear him to say those words. She knew that he had been trying to avoid her, at the library, at the dining hall, at the back gate yesterday… He had always looked as if he wanted to get away from her.
She turned around to look at him, still standing across the room, couldn't help but wonder whether she had heard the sentence wrong.
Noticing the odd stares came from every direction from the room, her included, the boy opened his mouth again.
"If you need a direction," he paused before added, "…princess."
-.-.-
Her face broke into a strange expression at his last word. He began to think that he had done something amiss, that the usual "Your Highness" call was more proper to be used than "Princess", for example. But he had heard some people used the form to address her, so it should not be a false call… or was it?
The expression lasted only for a second, too short time for him to decipher what was it. That even if he was a friendlier person, that if he was often to smile and was familiar with it, he still wouldn't have any clues… that she was holding back a laugh.
However, he noticed that she regained her usual tranquility back almost immediately.
"It is very kind of you to offer," she replied calmly.
And those words, coming in her melodic tune, averted all those gazes on him to her figure. Her eyes gleamed in a tender hypnotizing light, while she kept the brilliant smile on her lips… causing all of them to hold their breaths. This time, he was no exception.
"I do," she approved then, stunning him with the sincere felicity in her blue eyes.
-.-.-
Actually she didn't mind his silence at all.
She had followed him through the hall without uttering any comments for some minutes, paying some glances to his back now and again. But when they reached a certain distance, he stopped walking.
He turned around to face her, and she met his eyes readily.
"You were looking for me," he said matter-of-factly.
She smiled at his sentence and nodded slightly. "And you want to know why."
He didn't say anything against that, and she knew from his eyes that she was right. But then she thought better and started to ask.
"Did I disturb you?"
She thought she saw his cool, controlled expression falter a bit at her question. "…no."
"Okay," she replied, the smile returned to her lips, "I intend to ask you a favor, but I think I will wait until later. When do you have time today?"
She expected him to ask about the favor, or to refuse it. But he didn't. And he surprised her by simply answering her question.
"At noon."
"Oh well then," she took chance to examine his expression, silently questioning him, waiting him to inquire her.
He just looked back to her. The look on his face was new, she could almost see a kind of humor in the depth of those eyes. She blinked at the sight.
"Hn," a very light smirk graced his lips, and he said nothing else.
She couldn't suppress a wide grin to cross her face. He only turned around, ready to continue his walk. She had to do some quick steps to chase the boy, taking her place beside him.
And the warm, bubbly feeling which she had felt inside the dungeon filled her chest again. It was so nice to think that he had stopped disliking her presence.
-.-.-
He was in the library, sitting in front of a marble desk, when he heard some sounds echoing from the far end of the hall.
He picked his head up from the opened books on the table to listen. A pair of clear blue eyes followed his movement.
"Is there something outside?" she put down the book on her lap and averted her gaze to the closed doors.
"Some people are coming for you," he answered her, "It has been evening."
"Already?" she looked out the high windows of the library, finding that the sky had begun to darken for true.
He gestured her to choose which ones of the books in front of her she would take with her, starting to collect the unused ones. She took some books, piling them on the table across his seat. He watched her slump her head on the pile, sighing.
"I haven't managed to learn anything," she muttered quietly. "Who knows that magic is so difficult to be learnt?"
Her favor which she had mentioned to him that morning was to teach her something about spells. And when he said that she needed to know the basic language of magic, the ancient language, she had initiated their visit to the library for the purpose of learning. They had been in there since noon, and she had actually learned many things. Even more than he had expected she would grasp into her head. He had never met anyone who was so eager to study.
"You are a fast-learner," he replied, "But you can't have it all in one day, it is no use to push too hard."
She lifted her head to him, smiling slightly. "I am flattered."
The tiny echoing sounds were turning into clearer footsteps. She stood up from her seat, lifting the pile of books with her hands, placing them in her hug. And as the late-afternoon sunlight poured into the room and upon them, he just noticed that the golden strands of her hair had some streaks of honey colour, making it more interesting for anyone to take a look on the girl. But not him, anyone except him. That's for sure.
She turned to him, taking some time to hold his gaze. He returned her stare, watching a slow smile creep into her expression, as her eyes on him gradually softened into a kind, grateful stare. He wasn't sure how to respond to that.
It just felt… warm.
Now the footsteps had come closer, and they could hear the clanging of metal armors and boots. She looked to the doors behind him.
"I think I will go first, since they are looking for me," she said, "You will have your chance after the soldiers leave."
He gave her a nod, letting her pass in front of him. However, she paused when she took hold of the door's handle, sending him another smile. "Thank you for the lesson."
He felt the corner of his lips turn up a bit, "Hn."
Then she went out the room, to behind the doors, gone from his sight. But his eyes didn't move from the closed doors, not until the last traces of her light footsteps faded away.
-.-.-
"Your Highness! So there you are!"
She forced herself to turn her eyes from the closed door of the library, pulling her attention to the soldiers.
"Yes," she said to them, "I'm just about to return to my room."
A tall muscular man with a silvery full plate and red cape paid her a military bow. "Then you should, Your Highness. Let us escort you to your chamber."
She could tell that the man was not an ordinary soldier, because he didn't shrink in front of her like the rest of the guys. Most probably the captain of the group, or even the general of the castle himself, she guessed from his appearance. She eyed the men, there were too many people he brought with him to look for her. Something unusual had happened, and she decided to find out about it.
"I see you come to bring me news." She lifted up her face to the man. "What is it?"
The blunt question stunned the man for a while, clear surprise could be seen from his face. But he replied her in the end.
"A message has come to this castle this afternoon, Your Highness," he told her, "It is meant for you."
Curiosity made her throw another question. "And from whom does it come?"
"From the duke himself, Your Highness. My Excellency, Lord Kushrenada of Great Romefeller."
-.-.-
He marched to the front gate with the other soldiers, lining up in two long rows, on each side of the gate. The torches in the porch of the gate were lit up, its fire brightened the path of white stone towards the castle.
Right after he went back to the barrack of the guards, the order from the general came, commanding all the soldiers to go to the front gate. A very important person would arrive tonight, that was what he heard from the whispers of conversation among the soldiers. The lord of the castle had returned from the capital, and preparations to welcome him back needed to be done. For what purpose he came back, that was what he had to discover.
And so there he was, standing in the middle of early night, waiting. He focused his eyes to the land outside the opened gate. A shadow could be seen from a distance, moving closer towards the castle, together with clicking sound of carriage wheels. His eyes narrowed pointedly as he saw a flag with golden emblem of OZ embroidered on the velvet blue material.
It was, without mistake, the Treize Kushrenada himself.
-.-.-
She knew that the ladies-in-waiting had begun to quiver, shriveling under her gaze.
Relena closed her eyes, lifting her head up to the high ceiling of her chamber, trying her best not to descend her exasperation on them. The ladies were not the ones to blame.
So she put on a smile on her face, telling them to put down those dresses which they brought with them on the silk coverlet of her bed. She took a quick look at each dress, wincing inwardly at the instances of prodigality. Taking a deep breath, she pacified her mind, there was no use for being irritated.
Yet the feeling of being a fancy dressed up doll still didn't fare from her mind.
"Your Highness…," called one woman, "Which one of the dresses you will wear to the dinner tonight?"
Not any of it, she answered mentally. Yet she didn't speak up her mind. Instead, she came to examine the dresses, choosing an ivory dress with golden embroidery on its edges, the most modest, unsophisticated dress of them all.
Then she turned around to the full length mirror behind her, sitting on a short red cushioned chair in front of the mirror. Politely refusing their offering to help her with her hair-do, she asked them to put away the boxes of jewelry and tiaras.
The ladies were beyond shocked. "You don't like them, Your Highness?"
She just smiled, so sweetly that it succeeded in making them close their lips. She was still keeping the smile on her face until all of the women went out of her room. Then after they had gone, she looked at her reflection in the mirror, letting out a long sigh.
She loosened the bandage which wrapped her temples. The white cloth rolled off of its own accord and pooled on her shoulders, around her neck. She touched the side of her head lightly, examining it carefully. If she scrutinized the spot closely, there were still some lines of scar, but they were so fade that it was hard to see them.
Her wounds, fortunately, had healed enough. And it was a good thing for her, because she didn't want to look like when she first came to this land. She held her gaze on the mirror firmly, mustering up her strength.
She was not going to look weak in front of the man.
-.-.-
He got the position which he had aimed for. Next to the doors of the dining hall, in where the leader of OZ was. The wooden doors were not that solid, if a sound was loud enough, he could manage to hear it coming from inside. With a good measure of concentration, he should be able to decipher voices and hopefully, conversations.
He needed to collect as much information as he could.
So he stood still, closing his eyes, trying to make the best use of his ears. He smirked when his ears got a sound of wine glasses meeting each other. It came out clear enough. If only these disturbing loud sounds of the soldiers' breaths in the hall could just stop…
His eyes snapped open when the breaths did stop. Those footsteps…
Since the chandeliers and all the lanterns in the castle had been lit up, even the stone floor looked shining. And a blond girl with golden threads on her silken dress, of course, shone more brightly than the floor.
From his distance, she looked like a figure made of gold. No wonder all the soldiers who were lining on the sides of the hall suddenly had difficulty in breathing.
The white bandage around her head was no longer visible, but it was not the only distinguishable thing in her appearance. Her hair wasn't let loose, it was pinned with pearl clips on the back of her head, the golden strands tumbled down neatly to her shoulders. He also notified that her bangs were combed to her right temple – the place of the cut from the previous accident, had the injury healed yet? – making her look more mature.
Wearing a luxurious gown, not a simple dress like he always saw her in, she was a magnet of attention. Yet, she didn't seem to care about it.
She just continued to walk on the red carpet, becoming more and more regal with each step she took. Holding her head high, she was so pretentious, that even without a tiara on her head, no one would doubt that she was a princess.
He stayed on his spot, watching her silently. She was a truly different person tonight. He had seen her demanding nobility a few times by now… but never had she looked this distant before.
-.-.-
"Your face is so gloom, my princess."
She put down her knife and fork, casting her eyes to the man at the opposite side of the long table. She had ignored his eyes on her for the most of the meal, keeping her silence. But the man, at last, decided to start a conversation with her.
"Is that so?" she made up a polite smile, trying to be civil.
She got a calm smile as a reply, "Is there anything you don't like about the meal? I can have the chef to serve different menu, if you like."
She narrowed her eyes. He knew that it was not the problem. What was he planning?
"Actually, the meal is delicious," she decided to go along with his game, "I would like to convey my praise to the chef."
"Your praise will be delivered," he complied her comment, folding his gloved hands together on the table.
The brown-haired man looked right to her eyes, and she was not one to back off. From his appearance alone, he was elegant, the type of man who had exotic things happened to and around him. Most of women would agree that he was quite handsome, yet she couldn't find him appealing in any way.
"Then perhaps you find something wrong with my presents for you?" he continued his chatter, "But I must admit that you look beautiful in the dress tonight, my princess."
Such praise usually made her blush, yet she had feeling that it was not uncommon for him to use that line, and so she only responded with another smile.
"Your presents are exquisite, sire," she tried to provoke some reaction from him, "I am sorry that I am not in the state to appreciate such gifts."
"Treize, my princess, please," he said pleasantly, "Let me know the reason for your embitterment."
He was truly a player, that fact was clear now.
"I think it is caused by the sudden environment change, Sir Treize," she bravely answered him, "I hope you can understand that I never expect to leave home, in spite of your welcoming invitation."
She deliberately took a pause after she said those words. Nah, how would he react now?
"Exactly. I also think that you are uncomfortable in this secluded castle," he began. He swung his right hand lightly, and the wine bottle on the table, magically, floated to the air. "The point of me coming to this place again is also to discuss about this matter. Wine?"
Turning down his offer, she didn't move her fixated stare on him. He poured the red wine to his own glass, then he returned the bottle to its original place with another movement of his hand.
"You may feel better if you are in the capital, my princess. There are some ladies in your age, and I will make it sure that you get acquaintance with them. You may have tea parties, little tours of the town…" he held his glass, shaking it a little as he spoke, "I will also hold a ball to welcome you, if you please."
From his chill façade she knew he was still playing, he was playing with her.
"You have to know that I am grateful for your generous offer," she responded with a sweet smile, though her undeterred gaze on him indicated otherwise, "Yet has it ever occurred to you that I may have different intention?"
"Then speak up, my princess. I am listening," he said, the smirk was still plastered on his face.
She drew in a deep breath. She needed to tell this man, she had to.
"I want to go home."
He was quiet for some seconds, and she thought she had surprised him with the sentence. But no, the man was still as calm as before. He even gave her a full, amused smile.
"Of course, of course you would like to go home! I actually mean to extend a more proper welcome before you start your journey," he put on a disappointed look, "But you may do as you wish, my princess, we can have the plan to begin earlier."
Now she was the one who was surprised.
That easy? Will he really set me free?
She didn't give her reply immediately, taking time to examine his expression. The handsome noble only waited patiently for her response, propping his chin on one hand. He might look as a gentleman, but she knew that the calculated calm mask on his face was not an expression of innocent man.
She paid him a suspicious glance, "What plan?"
"Your travel to your homeland, my princess, did you say so yourself?" he took a sip of his wine, "Sanq Kingdom may not be as peaceful as the old days, but we can arrange it so that your journey to the land will be as safe as possible."
I knew it! she thought grimly. This man would not let her go that easily.
"Apparently you get a wrong impression, sire," she managed to say those words with grace, "I mean my home, the place where I have lived these past years. I mean Earth."
She never hated anyone in her life before, but something in this man – the odious gleam in his ice blue eyes, or maybe his dandy appearance – was simply enough to evoke her antipathy.
"I apologize for my wrong assumption, my princess. But you should understand that any other people beside me will also presume the same thing, since…" he trailed off.
She took his bait intentionally, "Since what?"
"Since, my princess, we no longer have way to travel to the other dimension," the sad look on his face was so fake that she was no longer be able to cover up her glare, "I am afraid that you have no way to go home."
-.-.-
He could tell that she was upset.
It had been late when the dinner finished. The two patricians went out of the dining hall together, the duke opened the door for the princess, ordering the two guards in front of the door to escort her to her chamber. They exchanged 'good night' properly, the duke bowed while the princess curtsied, and both of them looked as dignified as ever. For any other people the dinner seemed perfectly fine. But he knew that it didn't.
He was not able to hear their entire conversation, since the two people talked in such low voices, yet, he was sure that whatever they had talked about was not a nice topic.
She even didn't want to look at him.
Heero followed her every movements with his eyes, accompanying her in silence. And because the other guard was also quiet, the three of them ascended to her room without talking.
He was dismayed by her ignorance. It was just a few hours ago when they were together, she was so kind and caring and full of enthusiasm. Now she was alerted, weighted by an effort to not let any weakness emerged. He didn't like these times when she hid behind her nobility, it emerged a strange, stolid feeling in the depth of his heart. It worried him.
What had caused that cordial side of her to vanish?
She slowed her steps when they reached the door of her room. The other guard beside him had begun to bow, ready to return to the base floor, when she turned to them. He, however, stayed still, his eyes searching for hers.
Her right hand was on the door knob, the door was opened in a crack, emitting dim candle lights out. The indistinct light was touching her face, her lean cheeks, and her golden hair, as she finally lifted her blue eyes to meet his.
It was as if her pretence was breaking at last, her eyes melting into a sad, sustained stare. She looked as if she was apologizing to him, for a reason that he couldn't understand.
"…good night," she whispered.
Then before he could utter any words, she walked into the room, and the door was closed behind her.
…
…
…
Ring… ring… ring…
The clear tingling sound drew her attention immediately. Her vision, blurry and unfocused, was averted to the source of the noise. It sounded familiar to her ears.
As the ringing sound continued, she blinked a few times, hoping to clear her sight. Yet the thin fog which was covering her surrounding still stayed. Her senses were not working properly, she felt a numb sensation on her, as if a part of her was conscious, while her other part was asleep.
She heard footsteps coming to her.
A vague figure of a man hovered above the source of the sound. And the ringing sound died after a soft click sound was heard.
She barely guessed the murmur which was heard from the direction as conversation. What was the man talking about?
The soft click was heard again, and the whispers stopped. Then she heard the footsteps went farther. And she walked through the fog, following the footsteps.
A creaking door opened. Her eyes saw curtains and a bed shaped form in the room. And it, again, looked familiar.
"Mr. Darlian, sire, there was a call from Sir Trent."
This time the voice was clear enough for her to hear. And she recognized the owner of the voice instantly. Pagan!
She averted her eyes to the bed, where two figures were on it. Her heart was wrenched in longing, and although her eyes still couldn't see the figures clearly, she knew exactly who they were.
Mother… The tears in her eyes blurred her vision more. Father…
"Has he found her yet?" The sound of her mother's voice made her sobbed slightly.
"He has captured the people who set the explosive in Mr. Darlian's car, ma'am," replied the old butler, "Yet…"
At the discontinued sentence, the soft-spoken lady broke into tears, and the figure who was lying on the bed moved a little to shed her tears.
"Don't worry, dear, we will definitely find her," said the deep voice of her father, which wavered a little because of obvious sadness.
How she wished she could tell them that she was here!
She called them, cried to them. But they couldn't hear any of her calls. The strange fog was still around her, and no matter how she tried to come to them, she was invisible in their eyes.
The kind old butler took some steps backward, giving the master and his wife a private time to share their sadness. And after the door was closed again, solitude darkness fell to the room, and her vision became all black.
…
…
…
Without opening her eyes, she knew that what she had seen was just a dream.
And because of the knowledge, she was reluctant to wake up, to find that the ones whom she loved with all her heart were far away in separated world, while she was alone here… imprisoned in a foreign dimension. With no way to return.
No way to return… the sentence sounded so grave, echoing in her ears and didn't seem to leave her alone. She felt herself on the verge of tears. No!
She hit the mattress below her with both of her hands.
Is there really no way to come back? The question startled her, her mind racing in her head. Yes, there may be none in this land, in this nation. But how about the other places?
She jumped from her bed, her determination to find a way to go home was renewed because of the dream. Her precious people were waiting for her, she should never allow anyone to rule her, to deter her determination. Moreover a man named Treize Kushrenada.
The proud lord might see himself, that she was not one who gave in easily.
-.-.-
The first news he heard the next morning was about the princess. She was missing. The maids who went to fetch her breakfast tray found that her room was empty.
The women were panicked, they came running straight to the security base, calling for the general. He calmed them down, reasoning that the princess might just stroll around the castle as usual.
"But her doors are not locked, and her breakfast hasn't been touched any!" their voices vied with each other, making the other people could hardly hear them, "She never leaves her room this early, something must have happened to her!"
The general decided to concede, ordering the soldiers to search for her whereabouts. Messages were sent to the entire castle, that anyone who saw the princess should inform the general himself immediately. The two maids quieted down a bit after that.
But Heero didn't feel any relief.
And both of the women didn't too, when an hour had passed and there was still no report of the princess. The general was astonished, he couldn't believe that the princess was truly missing.
"Not in the garden too?" he asked the guards, "How about the library? Has anyone checked the library?"
Their tight faces nodded lowly, mumbling negative comments, "We have checked everywhere, General."
"Keep on looking," the man barked to his subordinates, and to the maids he said, "You just wait in the princess's chamber, she will eventually be back by herself."
"No, sire, we will also look for her," replied the maids, "We don't have much time left, we must find her."
The general lowered his gaze to the women, "What do you mean we don't have much time left?"
"Actually, sire, Your Excellency Lord Kushrenada has requested a lunch with the princess this afternoon," they explained, paling considerably, "If he knows that the princess is missing then…"
Even the general lost his wit hearing the sentence.
"Send all of our troops," he roared to his men, "We are going to find the princess!"
Heero took his chance to slip off in the middle of the turbulence. Alone, apart from his group, he ran to her room. Her doors were opened to the outside, as the maids had said, but was she really missing? He entered her chamber, examining all parts of the room, feeling familiar already with the arrangement of her furniture, even though he had just been in the room once. Twice if the event of him coming back to her room on that day counted.
There was no sign of someone barged in. There was no sign of the girl either.
His blood went wild. The soldiers said that she was not anywhere in the castle, then where she possibly went?
Then his eyes caught the waving curtains of the tall glass windows. The wind was coming in from outside, it meant…
He rushed to the balcony door, and exactly as his prediction, it was left opened. He stepped to the balcony, hoping to find her there. Unfortunately, no one was there, but there were some shining silvery feathers scattered on the white floor. And the feathers were hers.
Did she go outside? The idea brought him terror. She didn't know that the land outside the castle walls was dangerous, something might really happen to her by this very minute.
Without wasting any second to think over it, he put off his helmet and started to strip off his metal armor. It had been more than one hour since she was gone, her safety was unsecured. With that single thought in his head, he spread out his black wings and took off to the sky, looking for the missing girl.
He searched for a pair of white wings. Yet as far as his eyes told him, she was nowhere in the sky.
His cold, objective logic was the one thing he had always used in critical times like this. He had to be calm. She shouldn't go that far.
He searched the area systematically, flying low in circles, focusing his eyes to the land below. Each time his eyes saw a rift and poisonous yellow smoke coming from the crack, he winced. No, she was not that stupid to come near such places, was she?
So he averted his eyes to a desolate area, a dried up swamp, which was the only area covered by trees. The woods were also dangerous at night, but he reminded himself that the night had not yet to come. And so it made the most harmless place of all other places. Wishing in silence that she chose the place to head for, he landed on the edge of the forest and begun his quest.
-.-.-
She could see some lights ahead, the forest had come to an end.
Stepping out of the trees, she covered her eyes with her hand. It was hot, she noticed, the most obvious difference between the inside and the border of the forest was its contrast temperature. Restraining the desire to step back to the woods, she continued to walk ahead. But after some steps, she was forced to stop. A massive crack on the ground opened up before her, smoldering slight yellowish fog.
She didn't know what she was looking for. How silly of her, thinking that she would find a way to go home if she went out of the castle. Standing on the edge of the giant rift, she looked through the smoky haze, thinking about the dream she had last night.
She didn't feel like coming back right now, she just wanted to go as far as possible from here. She didn't want to be a controlled string doll, giving up to the realistic despair was like giving up the possibility to go home. That was why she went out, eluding the proud lord's invitation for lunch meal.
But what was she doing here? She couldn't find an answer for that.
She was still absorbed in her thoughts when a hand caught her wrist and yanked her back. Surprised and not prepared, she couldn't stop herself from falling backward. And so she fell to strong arms of the person behind her.
-.-.-
Anything which he had been thinking flew off his head when he felt her warm body in his embrace.
She was so light, that when he pulled her hand back, the force caused her to fall to him. He caught her at the last second, unintentionally positioning her in his arms.
That was a big mistake, a bloody terrible mistake. The feeling of her lying on his chest, her golden hair caressed his cheek slightly, was more than enough to push all relevant thoughts away.
His blood flared through his body – the same way he had felt when he heard she was missing this morning – but this time, it was for a different reason. He felt dizzy, his mind was unfocused, and he wasn't able to think of anything at all. He forgot the warnings he intended to say to her, he forgot his original purpose to bring her back to the castle, he even forgot the reason why he came to the place at the first time.
After some seconds, he felt her moving, lifting herself. Her weight left him, together with her warmness and the smell of her scent. He tried to ignore that thought. Then she turned to him, her blue eyes scanned his face, watchful at first, then with a new profound interest, before she relaxed in the end.
He was surprised when he heard her laugh. She was laughing in front of him, not too loudly, but lightheartedly, and without a clear reason, he felt a sense of relief washed through him. That was a sense he knew, a sense he was familiar with, since he had felt it more than one time when he was with her.
But still, he couldn't quite place the feeling.
-.-.-
She was still giggling when the boy threw her a sour look.
"I almost don't recognize you," she pointed his green tank-top, "Where did you leave the heavy armor of yours?"
He was annoyed with her, she was sure of it. Yet it didn't decrease the happy feeling she felt in her heart. The feeling was so overwhelming, she couldn't stop smiling.
The boy had been searching for her. She felt so glad, so happy because of that thought only.
She took the hand which was extended to her, letting him help her to stand up. He guided her back into the woods, away from the crack and the yellow fog, and she followed him willingly. She just stopped him when she saw his left elbow bleeding.
"You are wounded!"
He examined the wound for some seconds before decided that it wasn't a trivial injury. It was not more than a scratch, in fact, but she knew that he got it when he made himself cover for her fall. And it made her feel guilty.
-.-.-
He didn't understand why she concerned so much about the injury. It was just a small wound, he didn't even feel it until she told him. But he let her to take a look at it, shivering a bit when her hands touched his left arm. And she, taking his shaking as a pain, gave him an apologetic look.
He watched her cleaning the cut – now had begun to heal as she kept her hands on it – and felt strange. Again, the familiarity of her touch, of her presence, lingered on his senses. To be honest, it felt eerie.
He took a check on her, not wanting to dwell on the thought, making sure that she didn't get hurt. His eyes halted at her temple, the side of her head which had been covered with bandages the previous day, where he found a light bluish scar on her porcelain skin. He noticed her breathing went faster when he carefully moved her bangs away to examine the wound more closely, but she didn't draw back at his touch.
As if she heard his unspoken question, she answered him, "I can't heal my own wounds. Not very practical, is it?"
She might see something in his eyes, because she tried to ease him with her smile. He finally let go of her, almost the same time when she let go of his arm, and he found that the wound had recovered with no trace.
"Thank you."
She smiled again, shaking her head slightly, "Thank you. For going after me to this place."
He remembered that he needed to warn her, so he spoke up, "You shouldn't go alone, you know."
"…I know," she replied, and the sadness returned to her eyes. The same sadness which he saw in her the previous night, the same sadness he saw at the first day she arrived in this world.
He tried to ask her, "…what is it?"
She lifted her eyes to him, "I don't want to go back to the castle."
He blinked at her, pausing, hesitating, then he nodded.
"All right."
She looked back at him, unsure. He just walked to a tree, plopping down, gesturing her to take a seat beside him. She followed him, and even in her white dress she managed to sit down with natural grace. She was avoiding his eyes for some minutes, and he waited, he waited until she turned to him, looked straight into his eyes, and began to talk.
She told him about her conversation with the leader of OZ last night, she told him about her longing desire to go home, about the dream of her parents she had, then about how low the possibility for her to return to Earth. He couldn't answer her when she asked him for the second time whether he knew a way to travel across dimensions, because he couldn't bear to break her heart more, but she seemed to understand without him saying anything.
Just like when she first came to this world, when they were at her balcony, he just listened to her, not once saying a word. And when she ran out of things to be told, he let the silence surrounded them, the peaceful atmosphere of the forest enveloped them. She didn't seem to mind his silence, leaning on the tree, relaxing gradually. In that way they spent the entire noon, sitting below the tree, enjoying each other company.
"Is it so strange if I say I value you more than the entire castle?"
It was a random, plaintive question, and he needed a few seconds to answer. "You don't know me."
"Well, you don't know me either."
He opened up his mouth to argue, yet she beat him for that chance.
"Not 'Princess' or 'Your Highness'. I doubt you even know my name," she said, successfully made him to close his mouth.
Yes he knew that she was a Peacecraft, he knew that she had a pair of wings and an ability to heal wounds, he knew that she was kind and full of determination, that she was fragile but in the same time strong, that she might seem cold and distant but was actually pure at heart, and that there was not even an ounce of her that tainted with bad intention. He knew her, except that he didn't know her name.
"Since we never have time to introduce ourselves, let's do it now," she suggested, smiling at his lack of answer, "My name is Relena. What is your name?"
So it was her name. He repeated the word again and again in his head, somehow feeling as if he had ever heard it before. But where and when, he couldn't remember.
He looked at the girl, she was still waiting for his answer. She only asked for his name, not his identity, what was the danger in the question?
"It is Heero," he answered her, "Heero Yuy."
"Heero," she called him, "Do you mind if I call you that?"
He shook his head. Her smile widened.
"In any ways, Heero…," the way she pronounced his name sent a shiver through his back, "…I am grateful for all you have done for me. Thank you."
And she stood up, deciding that it was the time to go back, saying that in spite of how much she didn't like to be in the castle, she had no other place to go. It was sad, but they both knew that it was also true.
So they walked through the woods, her taking the lead, heading back to the castle. Some late-afternoon lights break through the green canopy, and in the middle of the golden rays, she walked through the trees in her usual light steps. It might be just his hallucination, but he saw distinct images each time he set his eyes on her, the images which were blinked and gone in a second, leaving an odd, familiar feeling in his chest.
The image came so clear as if it was happening once more time…
The feeling was getting stronger as they were closer to the castle, as she kept paying glances to him, catching his eyes with hers now and again. The strange sense of anticipation came back to him, more intensely than ever.
And when they entered the castle's garden, the feeling pressed him so vehemently that his heart started to ache inside his chest. He watched her looking up to her balcony, feeling her so close, her slender figure, her golden hair… while she was oblivious to what he was feeling right now.
…a girl inside the garden looked at him with her blue eyes, her golden hair glistened from sunlight...
She spread out her white wings, the wings sparkling under the evening light, and she turned to face him.
…a pair of pure white wings sprouted from her back…
His heart froze to lead in his chest, squashing the air out of his lungs.
It was as though the clock was reversed, the time went backwards, and all those dim memories came into light. The tiniest details were recalled, and in flashes, the dream was alive once again.
Ah… it was those eyes…
She smiled at him, in such a tender way, in the exactly same way which he had seen her smiled before. The images from the present and the past were overlapping on each other, he could hardly separate them.
…and she offered him a smile.
Understanding the familiar feeling which he felt towards the girl in front of him, he remembered.
It was those same eyes… which stared at me… at that time.
-.-.-
She looked down her balcony, watching the boy turned around and left the garden, hoping he would look back, giving her a last glance.
Somehow, she felt very disappointed when he didn't. Closing her eyes to prevent her from looking down to the empty garden any longer, she took a deep breath. She didn't know why couldn't stop herself from staring below once more time, although she knew that he was no longer there.
She forced herself to move, to open the glass door, to go into her room. Yet, the heavy sentiment she felt in her heart just didn't seem to fade away.
She didn't know that the boy did come back, that he stayed at her balcony all night, staring at the closed door of her room. She didn't know that he watched her sleep with a deep, melancholy stare, before he went to leave her. And neither did she know that he would never return to the castle again.
-.-.-
End of Chapter Six
~o~
A/N : It is hard to be understood, the puzzle of feelings. Only by following our emotion, relying on intuition, we can get closer to the solution.
At last, he recognizes her. Will the realization bring them together? Or will it tear them apart? There is no way to see through one's heart, and while some feelings are kept unsaid, the other will never be able to figure it out.
He just learns what he feels for her. And the depth of what he tries to learn, his own feelings, scares him.
~"Repetitive dreams, multiply coincidences... Never has fate been something he believes in, but he can't find another explanation."~
(Chapter Seven : Shadow)
Be patient with my unsteady progress, my dear. I hope you enjoy the chapter!