I got my first review for this story the other day, thank you very much! Everything starts with one! So the song from the last chapter that played as she bathed, that she sang outloud...that was "Wait For Me" by Theory of a Deadman. I apologize for not putting that information at the top of Chapter 3.
I have in my profile a link to the playlist I'm using for this story, and to a photobucket album for this story, as well. Feel free to look, and I've set both up to allow for others to add photos and songs to my selections, if you feel there's something else that captures the feel of some part of the story.
Thank you for choosing to read my story out of the 10,000 plus Twilight fanfics on here currently. I appreciate it, and enjoy writing it!
Chapter 4
EPOV
After seeing her lying on my bed, stretched out happily and right at home on my pillows, I had to clear my head for a while.
Quietly I slipped away to the study and accessed the secret passageway behind one of the bookshelves. Several entry points throughout the castle led to an interior room, where my laptop and personal belongings resided.
No human had been in my private room here since the castle was completed many centuries ago.
As I made my way to my chair and sat down, booting up my computer, I imagined what Isabella would think of my things: my music collection, the pictures I'd taken over the years of her grandmother for Isabella to see one day, the ring I so foolishly accepted from Esme that she hoped Isabella would wear one day.
As I stared at Isabella's image on my screen, I examined my feelings for her intently. I thought about what I would be asking of her, not wanting to ever let her go. I thought about what I would do if she didn't want a life with me.
What if she was repulsed? Worse, what if she was frightened of me?
I pulled up my chat and instant messaged my sister, needing more words of encouragement about her visions for the near future.
BPOV
After wandering around the one room my Grandma had always instructed me not to enter, I was intrigued.
As I'd stretched out on the huge, manly bed, I'd smelled the same intoxicating scent I'd smelled last night on the blanket that mysteriously was draped over me as I napped.
It wasn't a cologne, and it wasn't anything you could buy in a bottle; it was simply heavenly. It made me want to inhale those pillows all afternoon.
After a few minutes of reveling in the mysterious scent that appealed to me so much, I began to feel silly. If anyone had seen me acting so silly, I'm sure I'd have been recommended for a trip to the mental institution.
Forcing myself to leave the comfy bed, I noticed as I glanced out the window that snowflakes were falling heavily.
My first English snow! I could hardly contain myself as I ran down the hallway to my bedroom, throwing on another layer of clothes. Zipping up my snow boots I'd brought along and my heavy coat, I raced down the hallway and down the stairs.
Admonishing myself as I made it unscathed to the main floor, I was surprised I didn't fall down the stairs as quickly as I went down them.
Throwing open the heavy wooden doors, I raced out into the gently falling snow and admired the view to the town below.
It really was a magnificent place. I put my hands in my pockets and stared out across the sloping hills of the countryside.
I had been in love with this place since the first time I'd came here, and I would be happy if I never left.
I knew in my heart that I would never go back to Washington. I would never leave my home.
This place was special, held many good memories for me, and most of all...felt like home.
The cold soon brought me back to my senses, and I hurriedly ran back inside, seeking the warmth of a fire.
Closing the heavy wooden front doors, I hung my coat and shed my wet boots by the door.
Realizing I hadn't yet had lunch, I went into the kitchen and set about correcting that oversight.
EPOV
Alice had again insisted it would go well, but again wouldn't elaborate any further. It was frustrating for me, not because I didn't trust my sister's visions, but because I needed something more to calm my nerves.
It wasn't enough to hear (for the millionth time), "Edward, things will be fine, trust me." I needed something specific, like, "here's how you should tell her" or for fuck's sake, even when to tell her would be nice.
But no, Alice felt like she'd be messing with fate to interfere with how and when I finally allowed Isabella to meet the man she'd known and sought out in her dreams for years.
I was beginning to seriously consider leaving Isabella for a couple of days, just long enough to make a quick trip to Alice's closet and snap off the heels of every pair of shoes she owned. The trip would only take a short while, but with all the shoes she had....I could be there for hours.
Each time I clenched my jaw and gritted my teeth, wanting so badly to seek some sort of destructive release on Alice's shoes, I could only see Isabella's face.
I could never leave her alone again, now that I'm so close to being able to speak to her, to touch her, if I would be so lucky.
I was also aware of how this could go, and what I would do if she refused me. Every part of me was screaming in her favor, that the way she sought me out and looked forward to hearing me come to her each night in her sleep...it seemed that everything included Alice's visions pointed in one direction:
she would love me in return.
I shut my laptop and rolled my chair around to face my music collection, filling several shelves with everything from classical music, to current music. Music was my salvation, my lifeline to my sanity.
Being without her for so long between her visits here would have driven me insane if not for my music.
I had a shelf entirely for Isabella's favorites. Each time I heard her singing a song, or heard her playing something on her visits, I had Alice pick a cd of it up for me during her shopping trips. She then brought it to me with a smug smile on her face, knowing what she knew about mine and Isabella's future.
She saw everything; she knew how it would turn out.
The little pixie was maddening, and I would someday, somehow find a way to repay her.
I went to my collection of classical for something soothing, and without hesitation chose Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata". It was calming to me.
Sliding the disc into the drive, I pressed play and sat back down in my chair, running my hands through my hair as I awaited the melody that would somehow ease the tension.
As the piano began the melody, I began to relax and closed my eyes. I could think of nothing but Isabella: at age 7 when she skinned her knee and cried. It had almost broken my heart, as though she were my child; at age 13 when she was ill with a stomach virus, suffering day and night for days. It was the longest week of my life, even more so when she was away from me. I had never been more afraid for her life than then, and it had hit me fully that I could lose her someday.
To age, to an accident, to an illness...
As Beethoven's melody played further, I saw her at age 17, crying herself to sleep in her room, clutching her grandmother's sweater to her face, trying to savor the last remaining scent that lingered behind after Marie succumbed to the cancer she'd told no one about.
It was assumed she died of old age, but I knew different. She'd been examined and tested at the finest hospital in London, taken care of completely by me. She'd told only me about her prognosis, and had asked only one thing of me.
I would fulfill that request, and so much more if Isabella would only let me. Soon, I will know.
As the last notes of the soothing melody faded, I rose and quickly shut off the music.
Feeling more calm and a bit inspired, I left my solitude and returned to the study, slipping out unnoticed.
As I listened for the sounds of Isabella's comings and goings, I could hear her downstairs. I decided to remain in the study and wait for her, as nightfall was only a couple of hours away.
I started a fire quickly and quietly, knowing that she would notice, but not caring. I would let her know in my own way that I was here, and give her a small gesture to indicate my presence.
As the flames crackled and settled into a rhythm, I fetched the blanket from last night from her bedroom. She'd slept with it, breathing in my scent and smiling. She'd even said "thank you" aloud to seemingly no one, but her smile said differently.
It was lying on top of her quilt next to her pillow. I brought it back to the study and laid it on the arm of her chair by the fire.
I stood back and admired my handiwork setting up a cozy spot for her. In the past, I would have never given myself away in such a manner, but tonight, it didn't matter.
Tonight, she would know I was real.
Deciding I was too impatient to wait for her to decide on her own that she wanted to read, as she did each evening, I sped things along a bit.
Shutting the study door firmly, it resonated down the hallway enough that I knew for certain she would hear it.
I positioned myself behind the heavy draperies lining the window and waited for her. I felt ridiculous, like a child playing hide-and-go-seek with a playmate. Only I wasn't playing a game; I was about to hand over my heart to a human who may or may not despise me.
I waited only a few moments, until I heard her footsteps lightly on the stairs down the hall. I steeled myself for what I was about to do, knowing that I would at least finally know how this would end.
It was time.
BPOV
After a bit of chopping and frying and opening jars of canned tomatoes and beans, I had a nice pot of chili simmering on the stove.
One bite proved that I still had it.
Grandma Swan's chili recipe, which my mom could never make right.
After eating a bowl and a half, I was happily full. Just as I was rinsing out my bowl and clearing away my dishes, I heard what sounded like a door shutting upstairs.
When I was younger, my grandma had assured me that this old place was bound to have its meaningless noises, and that I should never be afraid when I was here.
She said that I was safer here than anywhere else in the world.
I had never been afraid of this place, and I trusted in those words implicitly.
So it was with complete calm and mild curiosity that I left the dishes in the sink for tomorrow and decided now was a good time to curl up by the fire and read.
Climbing the stairs with my full stomach, I shook my head as I remembered the first night I'd stayed in my room here by myself. I'd heard a noise from down the hall that sounded like someone walking, and had been afraid.
I'd huddled under my covers until I fell asleep. It was his voice that met me that night in my sleep.
I'd been cheated last night out of hearing it, and hoped that tonight wouldn't be a repeat performance.
As I reached the door, I turned the knob and pushed it open, glancing around inside. The first thing that caught my attention was the sound of the fire crackling in the hearth. I walked into the room, and could not have been more surprised.
I had to look twice.
There was a nice fire going in the fireplace. A fire that I surely hadn't started.
Fires didn't start themselves, and ghosts do not get cold. Humans do, however, and it looked inviting as all get out.
Just as I was about to plop myself down in my chair and read, I remembered my book was in my bedroom.
Before I could even reach my bedside table, my phone chirped at me from my dresser, where it was charging.
Glancing at the missed call message, I could see that it was Rose or Jasper who'd called about an hour ago. I was knee-deep in some fuckawesome chili at the time, and hadn't even heard my phone ringing.
I dialed them up and padded back down the hall to the study. Jasper answered on the second ring.
"Bella, how is the country life treating you up there by your lonesome?"
I walked over to my chair and stopped in front of it, noticing the blanket from last night draped over the arm of the chair: the blanket I distinctly remember being on my bed today.
I glanced about the room, wondering if I was losing my mind a bit.
"Bella, hey, are you there?" Jasper teased, making me refocus my attention back to our conversation and away from the mysterious acts of kindness going on this evening in this room.
"Sorry, I was settling in to my chair with my book by the fire, you know me, gotta have my nightly read." I glanced at the fire, shrugged, and pulled the blanket over my legs to settle in for the evening.
"Ahh, yes, you won't be running out of reading material anytime soon you said? Lots of books in the old library?"
I smiled as I laid my head back into the chair and enjoyed the warmth.
"No way, never. It'd take me decades to go through even half of these books."
"Yes," he teased, "but are they ancient boring books that nobody wants to read or are they old, but cool books that never go out of style?"
"Both" I grinned, happy to hear my cousin's voice after a day of hardly speaking aloud to anyone.
"Excellent. You know Rose is going to send up some books, regardless. She's already making a list."
I rolled my eyes in the back of my head.
"So," he prodded further, "do you miss us yet? I know you miss me more than Rose...ow! She's hitting me with a blimey pillow! Goddamnit, I swear to all that's holy I'm going to set this phone down and...ow, god-...hold on a minute Bella, I'll be right back..."
I laughed aloud as I could hear the two of them yelling and running around the flat together. They were the closest brother and sister unit you'd meet.
After a few moments of Rose's hysterical giggling, Jasper finally made it back to the phone.
"Now, as I was saying....I'll bet you missed me most, eh? My jokes and my chill vibe? You know you want us to come for a visit when the snow melts up there for the winter."
"Of course I miss you most, but don't tell Rose. I don't think she'd take the news well" I whispered into the phone, completely bullshitting him. It was a dead tie; there was no way I could choose between them.
"And yes, when the snow melts, you will definitely have to come and see me up here."
"We'll do that, but unless you need us sooner, I ain't leaving London in this bitch of a cold spell. I'm keeping my ass by the fire after work every day. I fucking hate winter."
I laughed as Rose squabbled with him in the background for phone time.
"Not this time, sis. You get the next call. So are you sure there isn't anything we can bring you, milady?"
"I'm sure, good sir. I'm well attended to up here, you know. Sherlock keeps me very good company."
"That fucking cat's still living? Good night nurse, how old is that thing? Ninety in cat years?"
"Close. He's old, but he's still kicking."
"Blimey. Well, I guess he's stored up his nine lives. Well, I gotta run. Rose is taking me out to see the new Richie film. That sonofabitch doesn't make a bad British action movie. Rose said she'll call you tomorrow, since I'm being stingy tonight."
I laughed as Rose verbally told him off in the background.
"I'll be expecting the call tomorrow. Have fun at the movie, and I'll talk to you soon."
"You know it. Later."
I dropped my phone onto the floor beside me and smiled to myself, pulling the blanket up to my chin. The fire felt amazing, and for some reason, I didn't even feel like reading anymore.
I felt like daydreaming about my own romantic storyline, instead of reading about someone else's.
I grinned even further to myself as I closed my eyes and imagined how sweet his voice would sound tonight, when he hopefully came to me. I had missed him terribly last night, and wanted to do nothing more tonight than sleep, so he would come to me.
EPOV
When I heard Bella talking, I silently cursed to myself. Her surprise at the fire I'd built for her and the blanket that I'd put on her chair was diminished by the distraction of talking with someone on the phone.
I was slightly disappointed that she didn't seem too puzzled by it, though I wasn't sure why. What had I hoped for? That she'd be frightened? Definitely not. Perhaps I'd wanted her to walk over and spare me by throwing the drapery aside and saying "aha!"...not feasible.
So here I was, standing there behind heavy thread count fabric, listening to her conversation to someone. It was someone she knew well, and liked immensely.
Her voice took on a different tone as she spoke to him. It made me feel something I hadn't felt in a very long time: anger. There was something else, too, but I couldn't put my finger on it.
"...you know me, gotta have my nightly read."
Her tone was playful, teasing, and whoever it was, obviously knew Isabella well enough to know how much she loved her nightly reading ritual.
"Both" she said to the voice on the other end of the phone, smiling widely. I could feel something in the pit of my stomach, making me uncomfortable. I could not put my finger on the nagging feeling that was bothering me at her banter with the caller, but it made me unhappy.
"Of course I miss you most, but don't tell Rose. I don't think she'd take the news well" she spoke lowly into the phone.
That, that feeling...it was beginning to consume me as she spoke to who I could only now assume was a man.
"And yes, when the snow melts, you will definitely have to come and see me up here."
My fists balled at my sides as I began to clench my jaw. This man, she had just invited him here in the future. I was beside myself.
Suddenly, I knew nothing. Everything I thought I was sure of was instantly gone, and replaced by a million and one doubts.
Alice had assured me without doubt that Isabella and I had a future together; that, she said, she was certain of. How many times had she told me this? How many times had I asked for more specifics, and she'd refused?
Now I was beyond frustrated; I was lost.
Was there already a suitor? Was she involved with someone?
The feeling that was coursing through me a minute ago had just intensified so much so, that I could no longer stop my mind from racing from one painful thought to another.
Had this man kissed her? Had he held her before? Had they...
Just as the relentless mind racing was becoming all-consuming, I felt my phone silently vibrating in my pocket. I knew without moving who was calling.
I risked a quick glance at the chair, and could see that Isabella was still in her chair, with her back to me.
Quietly slipping my phone out of my pocket, I opened it and placed it to my ear without a word.
"Edward, I am in the middle of a fabulous shopping trip right now, as we speak...well, as I'm speaking, and what happens? I see you...turning a very unflattering shade of green."
I said nothing because I couldn't. I couldn't make a sound; I could only listen.
"Alright, I get that you are listening to me, which works to my advantage. You can't interrupt me!" she giggled, way too enthusiastic all of a sudden at my predicament.
"Okay, so here's the first bit of information I'm going to share with you, without overdoing it. I meant what I said, Edward. Neither you nor Isabella need my interference. You only need to do what you know needs to be done, and things will work out fine. But, judging by what I just saw, you need a little help."
"Don't get used to the extra information, because this is the first and only time I'm telling you something like this. Breathe into the phone if you're still listening."
I quietly breathed a short breath to indicate in the affirmative.
"Excellent. Now, my future best friend is not speaking to a boyfriend. She is speaking to a cousin. A fine ass looking specimen, if I may say so, from what I saw – definitely a relative. My vision was extremely clear, Edward. Stay focused. I want to meet her sooner, rather than later. Don't mess this up for me."
I closed my phone and slipped it back into my pocket, savoring the relief flooding through me as my fears were immediately put to rest, thanks to my sister's vision.
I laid my head against the window and closed my eyes.
Well if this is what love feels like, I might not survive.
Opening them, I risked another peek at Isabella's chair. I could see she hadn't moved, and the book was no longer on the table beside the chair.
She was reading, and I could tell by her heartbeats that she was relaxed and content.
Deciding that I couldn't wait another day or night to feel her eyes upon me, and to be able to gaze upon her freely, I quietly stepped out from behind the drapery...and silently walked towards her chair.
I stopped when I was close enough that I could see her beautiful brown hair on the other side of the chair, preparing myself to speak the words I'd waited so many years to say.
As I parted my lips to speak, she lowered her book and her heartbeat changed. It began to flutter rapidly, just slightly. I paused, not expecting that she would sense me behind her.
I was suddenly wary of frightening her, so I waited.
She didn't move, but didn't pick her book back up, either.
Something inside me told me that this was it; this was the moment I'd waited for. Alice said I'd know, and she was right. I knew with every fiber of my being.
I decided that the first word I wanted to speak to her would hopefully be comforting, instead of startling. She would know in an instant who I was the moment I spoke.
With my arms resting at my sides, and my feet firmly planted in place, I spoke my first word to her when she was not asleep.
"Isabella." My voice did not falter, as I'd feared. It was not loud, nor was it too low for her to hear. It was just right: soothing and melodic.
I watched her intently, knowing that there was no going back now. She had heard me, I could hear it. Her heartbeat had sped considerably, and she was holding her breath.
"Yes." She answered in a strong voice that didn't falter. She was not afraid.
My heart nearly lept from my chest at her reaction. She sounded anything but fearful. For the first time in my existence, I felt hope.
I must have basked in the moment for too long, for she spoke again.
"Don't leave. I've waited all my life for this. Please."
She mistook my silence for my absence. If she only knew how impossible that would be for me ever again, to leave her side.
"I would like to see you, please." As if I would deny her anything...
"May I?" I asked quietly, asking her if she was ready for this.
"Please," she whispered, sounding as anxious as I was a moment ago.
I slowly took three steps to her right, angling myself beside her chair. I was only a couple of steps away from her, but enough to be as non-threatening as possible.
Our eyes instantly met, and everything I'd ever been, everything I'd ever done, everywhere I'd ever been before now meant nothing...and she was everything.