Chapter Two

Edward

I was well aware of the extent to which I had pissed little Alice Brandon off. I could practically see the steam pouring from her ears as we had our little confrontation in the bar, she was fucking mad.

I always did seem to have that effect on her though.

And hey, there was just something about her that always bought out the asshole in me.

A confrontation between us was never going to go well, but I knew that. And I went into the bar, knowing full well that she still worked there and that she would not be happy with me turning up. But I had to find out about Bella.

It had only been the day before when James came around for a drink which ended up being a few drinks and then mentioned that he had seen her.

"I went to an exhibit at the art gallery today" he had told me, swigging his scotch. I braced myself for a recap of his latest sexual conquest, I had expected him to tell me about a girl he met there – James didn't go to galleries to experience culture and appreciate art as much as to pick up girls. I just wasn't expecting him to tell me about this girl.

"Oh?"

"Saw that girl you used to date"

I poured another drink, totally uninterested in the topic.

"Which one?" I humoured him.

Yeah, there had been a few, but not many that I cared to hear about.

"Uh...you know..." he said, clicking his fingers trying to recall. "Long dark hair, fair skin, legs for miles...fuck...Belinda?"

No.

"Bella?" I asked him, trying to feign indifference and appreciating the fact that James was such a self-absorbed son of a bitch that he didn't notice what a fucking terrible job I was doing of it.

"Bella! Yeah, that's it"

Shit.

Bella.

The very name sent a shock through my entire body. And no girl should have that effect on me, no other girl ever had, and it God damned pissed me off that she could, but...

I hadn't known she was back.

After James passed out on my couch I spent the whole night thinking about her. I couldn't sleep, thinking about that damn girl. When she was gone, back in that shit-hole of a town she grew up in, I could play the whole ignorance is bliss card. You know, she was so far away I didn't know how she was going, I had no real evidence that I had fucked the girl up beyond repair, and so I could pretend everything was just peachy. That maybe she was better off there, maybe she'd found someone else, an old school friend perhaps, someone who I admittedly would probably want to strangle with my bare hands but who could make her forget about me.

It would be good for her to forget about me. And what I had done.

The other thing was, with her so far away, I convinced myself that it wasn't rational to dwell on the fact that I had completely fucked up what was perhaps one of the best things that had ever happened to me. Because she was gone, and I couldn't fix it.

But now she was back.

Bella was back, in the same city as me. And for some fucking reason, I couldn't function properly, knowing that.

Of course I was smart enough to know that she wouldn't want to see me, after what had happened between us. But I needed to do something. Maybe it was just to ease my own conscience or maybe there was some other reason, but I needed to know that she had returned to the city as the Bella I knew in the beginning, not the Bella I had left in the end.

I assumed that the girls were still living in the same apartment, the tiny third-story walk-up that they had seemed so excited to inhabit, but which had always looked like hardly more than a closet to me. Like hell was I going to show up there. Because I was worried that if Bella answered the door I would either be faced with angry Bella or sad Bella and I wasn't ready to confront either.

And if Alice answered the door? Well, then I could kiss my balls goodbye.

So I went to the Eclipse Bar, because at least there, there would be witnesses.

Alice Brandon had reacted exactly the way I expected her to. It was fairly close to fucking fire and brimstone. Yeah, I shouldn't have provoked her, with the tugging of her slutty little uniform and telling her I'd consider settling for her. But, like I said, Alice Brandon bought out the asshole in me.

She'd judged me the first time she laid eyes on me, that girl. I could see the disapproval in her eyes the very first time I had made Bella laugh, the very first time she agreed to go out with me. Disapproval, right from the beginning. Whether she was right about me or not, that just fucking pissed me right off. And her god damned self righteous protectiveness of Bella, I didn't like that much either. I knew that both she and Bella had some issues, that Alice had reasons for being so protective and from what Bella had told me I gathered that there was something or other in Alice's past had left her wary of newcomers into their lives, but that was no reason Alice should look at me as if I was the devil incarnate, as if I would be the death of Bella.

But, considering how things turned out, I guess I have to admit that Alice had reasonable foresight. Obviously her predictions weren't too far wrong.

I had hurt Bella.

I should leave her alone.

So Alice got angry, and yelled, and started shoving at me, her tiny hands not doing much more than merely irritating me, while a rock band exited the stage in the bar and people switched their attention from the stage to the scene Alice was making. Then it was what she said that had the most impact.

"You broke her, you bastard"

And that made me feel like ten kinds of shit.

Broke her?

I had about two seconds to feel like a pathetic excuse for a human being before Alice Brandon was whisked away by Emmett McCarty. And the look he shot me over his shoulder as he led her away told me we weren't even close to being done there. That was fine by me; I wasn't ready to walk away just yet either.

He reappeared and marched toward me, eyes cold, and expression hard, and stretched to his full height, which was really fucking tall.

"Cullen"

"McCarty"

He folded his arms across his chest, making his biceps bulge, and stared me down.

"I'm only gonna say this once. You are going to turn around and get the fuck out of here. You're going to forget where Alice works, where she lives, her favourite god damn pizza place. You're going to leave her alone"

"Is that right?"

"Yeah, that's right. And Cullen? If you go anywhere near Bella, and you have my word on this, I will take great pleasure in breaking every bone in your body" he warned me.

I had no doubt that the bastard could do it, too.

"Guess I'll have to find something else to keep me entertained then. You still dating that hot blonde or did she finally come to her senses? Because I wouldn't mind a piece of that..."

Of course I wasn't interested in Rosalie Hale, I was just being an asshole because I didn't particularly like the way McCarty was acting. And because hell, I was good at being an asshole.

"Don't test me Cullen"

"Wouldn't want your seconds anyway, man" I told him, turning on my heel. "Pleasure as always"

Emmett was an alright guy, for a time. He hadn't been so forthright about his judgement of me as Alice had when I started seeing Bella, but I could tell he was wary in the beginning. I guess they had reason to be – my reputation wasn't exactly squeaky fucking clean. But then, when I didn't use her and leave her as quickly as I was accustomed to, Emmett and I actually got along for a while there.

Of course, that clearly changed after the breakup.

I walked out of the Eclipse Bar and pulled my phone out of my pocket.

"What?" James answered after a couple of rings.

"Where are you? I need to be amused"

"At the club man, get your ass here"

I found James in his usual position, on a sofa in the dark black corner of the club, red-hair and d-cups on either side of him. He had a thing for red-heads. And obviously, big tits.

"Here he is" James announced as I sauntered toward them, raising his glass to my arrival.

"Hey James. Victoria", I nodded to the girl on his left, she'd been hanging off James like a leech lately. The other girl, I didn't recognise.

"This is Chloe" James gestured toward her.

"Zoe" she corrected him.

"Sure" James replied, as if he didn't give a shit. And the bastard probably didn't. The girl rolled her eyes, but continued stroking his leg. I took a seat in the black leather sofa opposite them.

I ordered a drink as James fished around in his pocket, winking at me. I knew what he was fishing for, and I knew that anyone else wouldn't do this here and that the staff hovering about had to be well aware of what was going down. But come on, who was gonna kick Edward Cullen out of anywhere? I was accustomed to not worrying about it.

The Cullen name could do wonders in this city, being the son of Carlisle and Esme Cullen was like having a free pass to...well, to whatever the hell I wanted, really. Life was pretty fucking spectacular in that sense. The only downfall was that while this entire city was willing to kiss my ass, my own parents, always concerned about image and reputation, were always ready to kick it. And the more I took advantage of our name, the less they wanted the Cullen name to be associated with me. They were still hoping I would magically turn into a saint overnight, start actually going to my college classes, and become a successful businessman worthy of the family name before any more of their hairs turned grey as a result of the stress and embarrassment they constantly reminded me that I inflicted upon them.

But I didn't give a fuck about their grey hairs.

James made some perfect lines on the shiny mirrored surface of the coffee table between the couches and took his turn before gesturing to me, telling me I was welcome to do the same, as always.

I leant toward the white powder, out of habit, I guess.

That fucking white powder. The coke had invoked the biggest look of disapproval I had ever seen in my parent's eyes, had made me lie, do something terrible, had led to Bella...

Well, being broken, according to Alice.

And she'd done nothing to deserve that.

It was that fucking white powder.

Fuck that. Bella had never even touched it.

It was me.

It was what the coke did to me.

Or maybe not. Maybe if I removed the excuse of the drug, I would have to face the realisation that I had hurt Bella because that was just the kind of asshole I was. And that was a depressing thought.

Why was that suddenly so depressing? I had never felt the need to apologise for anything about myself or the way that I lived. So why did I have to go to the Eclipse Bar to see how Bella was, and why did Alice's words make me feel so much like shit?

"Not tonight man" I told James.

That was the first time I'd said no in a really long time. James looked at me in shock, as if I'd just told him I enjoyed dressing up in women's clothing and rolling around in jelly, before shrugging and offering the lines to his red-headed lady friends, who smiled and took them willingly.

And I was left wondering what the hell was going on with me.

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