Chapter Three

Bella

I used to be a morning person.

Not anymore.

I embraced the comfort of sleep.

So when Alice barged into my room, sat on the edge of my bed and started softly poking me and saying my name, I squeezed my eyes closed even harder and tried to ignore her, tried to hold on to those last threads of sleep.

Poke.

"Bella"

No.

Poke.

I groaned, rolled over.

"Bella" She was relentless. "Bellllllaaaa"

Ugh.

"Bella!"

"What?!"

"Get up"

With that she pulled the sheets roughly off me, shoved a steaming cup of coffee in my hand and slapped a newspaper onto my lap.

"What's this?" I asked, looking down at the red circles she had already scrawled onto the pages.

"Time for you to get a job, babe. You've been back for a couple of weeks now, you've barely left the apartment...you've become pathetic Bella"

"Christ, don't sugar coat it Alice"

"I'm your best friend. I don't have to"

She skipped out of the room and I looked back to the paper. I knew she was right. I needed to do something with myself. Something other than lounging around the apartment watching Audrey Hepburn movies.

I sighed, giving in. I climbed out of bed, coffee and paper in hand, and padded out into the kitchen where Alice was making pancakes.

"You're right" I told her. I had become pathetic. I spent most of my time, since coming back to the city, doing pretty much nothing.

I tried.

Well, kind of. I went to the art gallery. But that little excursion had ended quite abruptly. Because as soon as I saw something that reminded me of Edward, in the shape of his best friend, I turned my back and left. Walked away before James could see me and we'd have to have some kind of awkward and painful conversation. Walked away like the coward I was.

"Of course I'm right" Alice said, turning back to me. "We had dreams, you know? When we left Forks. Let's just forget that you went back for a while, and pick up where we left off, yeah?"

And there it was. The guilt. I knew Alice wasn't trying to make me feel guilty, deep down I knew that she wasn't even hurt by me leaving, she wasn't angry, only worried. But there it was. We did have dreams. A new life, finally away from Forks. I mean, sure, our dreams didn't exactly consist of Alice bartending downtown and me carrying around trays of food for a catering company, but at least we'd started somewhere.

And as soon as things got rough, I up and left.

Left Alice, the only person who was always there for me, the only person in this world I could really trust. And someone who, although she would probably never say it out loud, I knew needed me as much as I needed her.

But it had hurt too much to stay. And I felt like a complete and total idiot for letting him hurt me so much, because I should have known better. Should have known, that apart from Alice, there was no one else I could trust. People use people, I knew that that's the way the world works.

My mother taught me that. I learnt the hard way that people use even the ones they are supposed to love.

And still, I let him do it to me.

I don't know why I had ever expected that he would be different, but I should never have let him get so close. On that very first day, when he had used me even then, but in such a ridiculous way that I eventually ignored it, that should have sent alarm bells screaming. But I didn't hear any alarm bells that day. I only heard him.

His laughter rang across the room. It was the first week of my new job with the catering service, I had just moved to the city, was just the clichéd small town girl. I had never even heard the name Edward Cullen. But for some reason his laughter stood out amongst all the noise in the classy book launch full of snobby well-to-dos at which I was handing out glasses of champagne and I turned in its direction, eager to see who it was coming from.

And my eyes met his, a pair of brilliant green orbs that held me in a trance and somehow made me walk toward him. He took a drink from my tray, smirked at me as if he knew exactly what effect he was having on me and raked his eyes slowly down and then back up my body. I didn't like the way he did that, and it was enough to break me from my trance. I came to my senses, turned away and continued with my job.

"Oh my god, Edward Cullen totally just checked you out!" Jessica, a fellow employee, whispered in my ear as I fetched a new tray of drinks.

"You know that guy?" I asked, peeking back at him. It didn't escape my attention that his eyes drifted to mine and he smirked again, as if knowing that we were talking about him.

"You don't? Are you serious? Bella, everyone knows the Cullens"

My small town roots had never been so obvious as when Jessica Stanley looked at me as if I had been living under a rock my entire life. Full tray in hand, I started another circuit of the room. Edward Cullen didn't catch my eye again, though I noticed he was now engaged in conversation with a tall, leggy, probable supermodel and I steered clear, until I heard my cue – her shrill voice saying,

"God, what do I have to do to get a drink around here?"

As I approached they resumed their conversation or rather, argument.

"You cheated Tanya, that's unacceptable" Edward Cullen was saying.

"Pot calling the kettle black, don't you think Cullen? I know you, you have no problem with infidelity. Your only problem is that I cheated on cheated on you first. That never happens to you, does it? But anyway, let's move on" she rubbed her hand up his arm. "We were good together, Edward"

"We weren't that good"

"God, you're just pissed because I bruised your ego. Let's try again?"

Before he answered, they both noticed me standing there. Edward stared while Tanya took a drink, saying "About time", and I walked away, leaving them to their argument.

I was out on the balcony taking my break when I saw him again. I was looking out over the city when I heard the footsteps. I swivelled around to see those green eyes, that smirk. Edward Cullen was handing me a glass of champagne.

"Uh...I'm working" I told him.

"I know. You're handing out these" he waved the glass as if I were an idiot. When I didn't take it he shrugged, sat it on the railing.

"So..." he lit a cigarette. He was beautiful. But still looking at me as if I were his prey, it was off-putting and irritating, no matter how beautiful he was. "How do you like serving these overly wealthy stuck up clowns?"

"Aren't you one of the overly wealthy stuck up clowns?"

He chuckled quietly.

"Yeah. Guess I am"

He put the cigarette in his mouth, held it between his teeth and said "I'm Edward Cullen" whilst holding his hand out to me.

"So I've been told"

I held out my own hand to shake his. And as soon as our skin made contact I felt....something. A jolt, a zap, it sent tingles running up my arm and it shocked me that I could have such a reaction to his touch.

"Your name?" he asked, looking down at our hands and leaving me wondering if he had felt the same thing before he slowly withdrew it.

"Bella"

"Ah, Bella. Appropriate. Italian for-"

I rolled my eyes, cutting him off before he could say it.

"Non disturbarti"

He looked at me, confused.

"That's Italian for don't bother. I can't even tell you how many times I've heard that line"

He shrugged, but seemed amused, the corner of his lip twitching upward.

"Alright, Bella. I won't say it" Then he looked over his shoulder, saw the probable supermodel watching us and she certainly didn't look thrilled.

"Your girlfriend doesn't look very happy that you're out here, Edward" I told him.

"Ah, Tanya. She's not my girlfriend"

"Then why is she looking at me like I've stolen her favourite toy?"

Edward looked at her for a moment, as if trying to make a decision.

Then suddenly, he took a step closer to me and then one hand was on my waist, the other behind my neck pulling me toward him and his lips crashed to mine and oh god he was an amazing kisser but this was just all fucked up and I knew exactly what he was doing, I saw how pissed off he was with Tanya and now he was just trying to piss her off in return, prove a point maybe, so I pushed him away, and when he tried to pull me back in I slapped him.

"Fuck you" I said, attempting to step around him.

"What?" he asked, as if he couldn't believe that was my reaction.

But of course it was my reaction. He was using me. He was just like everyone else and I didn't take that from anyone else anymore.

"I'm not a prop for you to play around with! Yeah maybe you think you can do whatever you want, and maybe because I'm serving your upper-class ass you think that means you can do whatever you want with me, but whatever game you're playing with that girl in there, leave me the hell out of it"

I pushed past him and stepped back inside. Unfortunately I ran straight into my boss.

"Did you just slap Edward Cullen?" he asked.

"Yes"

"You're fired"

I left, hating Edward Cullen but never expecting to see him again.

And I would probably have been better off if I hadn't...

I was snapped out of my reminiscing by Alice placing a plate of pancakes in front of me.

"You take care of me too much" I told her.

In true Alice fashion, she just rolled her eyes at me.

"I'm serious Al. It's not fair."

"Not fair?"

"It's not fair that I get to be the mess and you get to be the saviour. You shouldn't have to be, you should be..."

"What?"

"Taking care of yourself"

"I am, Bella. And I'm fine. Plus, I'm not playing the saviour. I'm just being a friend"

"I would do the same for you, you know"

"I know. I don't need it though"

She didn't mean it as an insult, but it made me feel so weak. Because yeah, I was messed up. But god, so was she. Only she buried it. Hid it away. Pretended nothing was wrong and took care of me instead.

I mean, Alice never even talked about it, no one could guess that she'd had anything other than a perfect upbringing. Except Emmett I guess, but that was because he'd earned her trust and she'd told him, and because, well, he was Emmett.

She was so strong.

I wasn't.

Maybe I should have been more guarded, like her. I definitely shouldn't have given my whole heart away.

But that's exactly what I began to do the next time I saw Edward Cullen.

It was a week after I had slapped Edward and gotten fired when the catering company called me up and asked me to drop by. Assuming there was just some paperwork that needed completing, I went to the building. I was in a foul mood, having to see the man who fired me again, fired me for standing up for myself. But he greeted me with a smile.

"I'd like to ask you to come back to work for us" he stated. I was shocked.

"You fired me"

"I know. I've had some...time to reconsider and I realised my actions toward you were unjustified. Please, would you consider rejoining the team?"

And just like that, I had my job back. I wanted to tell him to shove it up his ass, that I didn't take that kind of shit from anybody, but unfortunately I desperately needed the money, so I just nodded my head. I left the building confused, annoyed, relieved.

He was out there, leaning against the building, cigarette again hanging from his mouth.

I saw him and kept walking.

He dropped his cigarette and followed.

"Bella, wait"

"Go away" I told him, not slowing down. He ignored me.

"So you got your job back"

I stopped then.

"How did you know that?"

"Well, it was kind of my idea"

"What are you talking about?"

"I felt a little...off about what happened. I acted like a dickhead and you called me out on it. I deserved the slap; you didn't deserve to be fired. So I talked to the company, told them how I felt about the matter"

"Oh, I see. One word from Edward Cullen and everything's fixed, right? I didn't need you to do me any favours" I started walking again.

"Alright"

"What, do you want me to thank you?"

"You don't have to" his eyes twinkled a little, as if he were amused at my annoyance.

"Then what do you want?"

"Hmm?"

"Why the hell are you following me through the streets?"

He chuckled at that, but kept his stride matching mine, not deterred at all.

"We should grab a coffee or something..."

"No"

"Why not?"

Frustrated, I walked faster, ready to cross the road. Distracted by him, I didn't check both ways, and there was the blaring of a horn and the front of a car so close when a hand wrapped around my arm and pulled me back.

"Jesus Christ" Edward muttered. His hand was still wrapped around my arm and the fact that those same shocks were coursing through my body at his touch did not escape my attention.

I tried to slow my heart rate, I took a deep breath. A combination of the shock of the near accident and the bizarre reaction I had to Edward's touch left me trembling.

"Shit" Edward said, looking at my shaking hands. "Are you okay?"

"Fine...I'm fine..." I said, but couldn't hide the tremble in my voice.

"No Bella, you're not. We're going to sit down for that coffee. You don't have a say in the matter"

Still too much in shock to argue, I allowed him to lead me, hand on the small of my back, into the nearest coffee shop. We took a seat.

We started talking.

And against my better judgement, I found myself having a good time with him...

Alice clicked in my face.

"You going to eat those or what?" she asked me, pointing to my plate of pancakes.

"Yeah, I was just thinking..."

"As if you even have to tell me what you were thinking about, Bella" Alice said. She didn't say it cruelly, but she knew. How could she not know? He was all I'd been thinking about. At least Alice had the decency to spare me the I told you so tone.

She did warn me.

Back then Alice had known as much about Edward Cullen as I did. But the day I got fired I had goe to the Eclipse Bar in desperate need of a drink and a good whining session and Alice sympathised, of course deciding that Edward was a complete asshole as soon as I'd finished my story. It was Rosalie, Emmett's girlfriend, who filled us in. Told us about the infamous Cullen family, the corporate giant father, the socialite mother, and Edward, the only child, handsome and rich and according to the papers, a complete player and nothing but trouble.

And so why did I let myself sit down with him and be completely taken by everything he said? Why did I let him tell me that he had a feeling, if he had let that car run me down, he would be missing out on something great? Why didn't I just up and leave when he told me that as soon as I had pushed past him on the balcony, all he had wanted to do was kiss me again and it had nothing to do with whether or not Tanya was watching?

Because I'm an idiot, that's why.

And when I took Edward in for a drink at the Eclipse after we had left the coffee shop, I could tell that's exactly what Alice was thinking about me too.

Later she told me to be careful, that she had a bad feeling. I put it down to the fact that Alice didn't trust anyone, and she was protective of me, always had been. I should have taken her more seriously though, Alice was rarely wrong about these sorts of things.

In my case, she was spot on.

And I was going to listen to her now, go over her red circles in the paper, find myself a new job and become less pathetic. Forget about Edward Cullen, or at least, not let his memory bring me down any more. Obviously, I couldn't escape him in the city. And I would never forgive him for what he did, and part of me felt like my heart would never be completely put back the way it was before I knew him. But I decided, then and there at that breakfast table, I could sure as hell show him he didn't completely destroy me.

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