WARNING: incest! (people I mean it!)

A/N: Thank goes again to karaokegal for the beta.

***

Sins of the Fathers III

Gwen awoke, consciousness creeping back to her like a curtain slowly lifting. Her mind swam a bit, as if her head was stuffed with cotton and there was a moment of disorientation when she opened her eyes. Everything around her was completely dark for the first few seconds, before the sensory cells on her retina adapted to the low light levels of the yellowish sodium-vapour street light that filtered in through the curtains.

It took her sleep clogged brain a while to realise that it was obviously in the middle of the night and that she was lying safely in own her bed.

The clock on the bedside stand showed five minutes after midnight and Gwen wasn't sure how long she'd been out. She couldn't remember how she got to bed in the first place; hell she couldn't even remember undressing, but was only wearing knickers. Either she had been retconned – which she doubted – or Rhys must have tucked her in after she fell asleep somewhere; maybe in the armchair again.

That wasn't so unusual, or rather it had become almost normal for her lately. Physical exhaustion made it easier to bear, made it easier not to think about... about the past, about the people she had lost and hurt, about what she and Jack had done. Exhaustion guaranteed dreamless sleep and therefore her sanity.

With a slight sigh she closed her eyes again.

***

Although she couldn't remember going to bed, she clearly remembered Jack. Jack standing in the living room holding her... their baby, flashing his usual smile, not looking any different from the day he left or any different from any day she'd ever seen him.

Gwen knew she should have felt revolted and angry just seeing him, but instead there had been relief and butterflies in her stomach and adrenaline rushing through her body. She could remember the excited flutter of her heart at his touch, the pleasant tingling of her skin when his lips brushed hers.

The memory of her indulgence in his caress caused her stomach to knot in disgust, guilt and shame.

Oh God... it didn't matter what had happened, what he had or had not done or how much she had been hurt. The attraction, the pull she had felt towards him was still there.

Gwen had never been sure about what Jack felt for her and she wasn't convinced she wanted to know; she had never been really sure about the extent of her feelings for him either. There had been an emotional connection, they were friends and she loved him (in a way), but she had been too realistic to think she was anything more than a plaything for him when it came to their affair.

Still it had broken her heart when he left. Rationally she had known it wasn't about her, but that hadn't prevented her from feeling personally abandoned.

But now... she wasn't sad anymore and she wasn't angry at him; why should she be? If anyone was to blame for this mess and her illegitimate child it was herself. She didn't even feel guilty about sleeping with Jack; that had been the most exciting sex of her life, not great every time, but exciting, captivating, addictive – how could she feel guilty about that? No, the physical act wasn't making her feel guilty, nor did the fact that she had very much enjoyed it. She felt so terribly guilty because she had hurt Rhys again, who clearly deserved better, and ashamed (and maybe even a bit disgusted) because she now knew for sure Jack was her grandfather.

Ignorance was no excuse for committing incest, at least not where her conscience was concerned. Jack obviously hadn't cared before and he didn't seem to care now, and that really worried her.

***

Gwen knew she could've only slept for a few hours. Which meant she should've been out too deeply to wake up without a reason. And that meant that something must've woken her. Finding out what would help her ignore the emotional turmoil inside just a little longer.

But there was nothing strange or out of the ordinary as far as she could hear. Everything was silent but not too silent. She could hear the breathing of two other people apart form herself – the baby and Rhys; reassuring.

Rhys' breath was coming in quite rapid gusts of warm, humid air against her neck. Almost as if he were panting. That was a bit strange, although nothing that should've woken her.

She could feel the heat radiating off of Rhys' body against her back where he was spooning her. It was warm and comfortable under the blankets and she was extremely tempted to just drift off to sleep again, not bothering with whatever might've roused her.

Wait... There!

A touch, feather-light and suddenly she didn't feel sleepy in the slightest. Warm fingertips brushing, not quite touching, the skin low on her stomach barely above the hem of her pants; a fleeting contact. Another brush, even lighter than the first, but still sufficient in its sensuality that it caused a warm, slightly fuzzy feeling to spread in her stomach. That was certainly unexpected.

Gwen nestled a bit further against Rhys, welcoming the warmth and cosiness and felt him stiffen at her movements. For a moment they both lay still, their breaths held. Finally he exhaled with a slight gasp when her naked thigh brushed against what could only be an erection. As had become normal lately Rhys wasn't wearing any pyjamas.

It had already dawned on her that Rhys was probably awake and that indeed he had been panting. The thought caused another pang of guilt to flare to life; she hadn't been very considerate of the physical aspects of her marriage recently, being mostly too tired and exhausted to even think about sex or simply falling asleep during foreplay. Gwen clenched her teeth imagining how frustrating that had to be for Rhys. He never said anything.

After what felt like an eternity of almost painful tension, Gwen felt Rhys relax again, although his breathing was still a bit too fast and slightly laboured. When his hand was again slightly caressing her stomach, she gently took hold of it, pressing it against her skin until it was splayed flat out, letting the heat of it seep into her.

"I'm awake, Rhys."

"I'm sorry, Gwen. I didn't want to wake you." Rhys whispered, voice apologetic but also a little bit strained.

"You didn't." Well maybe he did, but that wasn't of importance right now.

She turned in the embrace until she could face him in the darkness, her body sliding against his under the covers, naked skin against naked skin and Rhys took another sharp breath. "Gwen..."

Kissing his collarbone lightly, she could feel Rhys' large frame practically shudder against her. Rhys had obviously showered before going to bed, still faintly smelling of that shower gel of his that she liked so much and sometimes sneakily used herself. His hair was slightly damp when she ran a hand through it. Letting a hand slowly trail along the side of his body, over his shoulder, down his ribcage until it rested on his hips, she felt Rhys take another deep breath, his erection pressing pronouncedly against her thigh.

"You're tired, let's sleep." One of his hands gently patted her head before he planted a kiss to her hair, obviously trying to ignore his arousal for her sake.

"Not that tired," Gwen's lips twitched into a smile that she knew he couldn't see in the darkness. "But if you don't want to..."

She didn't even get the chance to finish her teasing sentence because Rhys was already moving, pressing her against the mattress with his weight, one of his hands pinning her arms down above her head. "You have no idea." His voice was raw and excited and that in turn made her almost giddy with excitement as well.

Her heartbeat was turning into a rapid and not overtly rhythmic staccato in her chest and the muscles in her stomach tightened in anticipation when Rhys' fingers came to brush some stray strands of hair out of her face. Even with the lack of proper light she could see the slight shimmer of sweat on his skin, a glint in his eyes when he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers in a kiss that left both of them suitably breathless.

Gwen knew that Rhys actually very much liked it to be on top, but usually refrained from acting upon it. Probably he worried that she would dislike having him in the dominant position – which she didn't mind – or that maybe he feared he'd hurt her somehow, or... whatever other irrational reason he might have. Those things actually didn't worry her in the slightest. True, Rhys was pretty solid compared to her, but she liked his broad shoulders and figure. She would have to talk to him about that at some point; he deserved getting what he wanted as much as she did.

He kissed down her throat to her breasts, very carefully sucking on her nipples, which were still a bit sore from nursing but oh so sensitive, gently caressing them with his tongue, sending exquisite shivers down her spine and causing goosebumps to spread on her arms. His free hand caressed her stomach, pausing, lingering on the fading scar from the section for a second before travelling further down, brushing over her by now already slightly trembling thighs.

Rhys certainly wasn't the most skilled lover she ever had, but he was always considerate, and he had become quite practised during all their years together, knowing exactly what would cause her to arch her back against him and make her gasp.

***

Gwen felt heavy and satisfied and very much like drifting off to sleep again, now lying comfortably cuddled against Rhys, his arms wrapped around her. Rhys embrace was tight, clutching her against his broad chest as if afraid she would dissolve into thin air if he didn't.

"Now, that he's back... You're not going to run away with him, are you?"

Don't leave me. Gwen felt as if she could almost hear it, the fear, the insecurities that were clearly troubling Rhys. For a second she was too surprised to answer. Not only did the question itself catch her off guard, but also the venom in Rhys' otherwise almost anxious tone when he referred to Jack was something she hadn't expected.

Confused she blinked a few times, trying to shake off the haze of sleepiness that had been threatening to overwhelm her just seconds ago. "No. Of course not." She craned her head a little to be able to kiss him. "Why should I? Everything I want I have here."

Gwen more felt than actually saw Rhys nod in response, before his head rested leaned against hers. For a moment the embrace got even tighter. "I love you..." Rhys' voice was strangely hoarse, almost broken. "...I love you."

He is crying. Rhys is crying. It took a while before her brain registered what this meant and she was almost overwhelmed by the affection and love she felt for this man that she had hurt so deeply and who still happened to love her back. "Thank you... thank you so much." Thank you for loving me. Gwen wasn't confident that her words were even understandable or made a lot of sense anyway. There were tears starting to fill her eyes and she could barely breath for a moment that had nothing to do with Rhys' too tight grip.

"I love you too."