Two years have passed. I'm seven now. Mom was not looking well. Dad sleeps on the couch where he's been for the past year and a bit. When mom doesn't come home I sit crossed legged on the floor and hold his hand. It makes him fall a sleep. I've been kissing his nose a lot lately. Sometimes dad starts singing in his sleep. He's sing your eyes, as we said our goodbyes, can't get them out of my mind.

Uncle Marky and Uncle Collins have been trying to get his head straight. I don't really remember when we were a happy family. I remember Christmas Eve two years ago, when dad had sad eyes and mom wouldn't stop crying. I know we were happy for a little bit, but then mom started coming home later, and wearing long sleeves. Dad mumbles in his sleep as well "I used to be a junkie" and "I quit". The junkies are in my neighborhood I'm not allowed to talk to them though".

Aunt Maureen and Joanne take me out shopping or just to hang. I wish my mom would do that. Instead she goes down to her old apartment for a while and then dad goes down and carries her back up here. I wish I knew what was going on. I know it's not good and mom is really sick. I keep thinking back to what dad said two years ago "I almost lost you, you got clean" and who's April? Dad never talks about her. It's times like these that my Uncle Collins said that he wished Aunt Angel was around.

I walked out of my room. Mom was there and she was making breakfast. I sat at the counter and watched her. She looked so thin, so scared. "Are you alright?" I asked "Of course I am why would you ask that?" she replied. We sat in silence then I asked "Why don't you and dad sleep together anymore?" she sighed "we're having some problems, baby but things will get better" she mumbled something that sounded like "I'll get better"

But if that's what she mumbled then she lied. I heard mom and dad fight one night. "Mimi, this is not far" said my dad "Roger, I can't stop" she said "you're killing yourself again, I've been there Mimi, but I stopped" "I stopped to for a while, but the thrill…" "So you choose the thrill over your own family?" "Roger, do not go there" "Mimi, the thrill is what partly almost killed you" "There you go again back to the almost, Rog ALMOST"

I was less confused then I was before. Mom was a junkie I've known for a while but I act like I'm innocent. My Uncle Collins calls me 7 going on 17. That's what happens when both your parents are not that loving any more you grow up early.

Thank goodness Uncle Marky takes videos of all of us. It's nice to see the happy family we used to be. I don't know what's going to happen to us, our family, Mom. But I know that it will get better…it has to.

I sat on the curb n the rain. They forgot to get me from school again. It's Wednesday so it's mom's turn. I saw dad running down the block his hair wet because he forgot an umbella."She forgot again" I said my voice sounding shaky. "I'm sorry Lena" he said and held my hand. We walked in silence.

Four more years passed. Mom was looking better and dad was alot happier. I was alone one day so I went to the loft that mom used to live in to play. While playing I found a needle in the kitchen and white powder. This is what mom did, but why? She said it was to feel the thrill. Well I want to feel the thrill too.