Disclaimer: You still reading these? You still unconvinced that I'm not trying to claim anything? Get some therapy! Paranoid! I still don't own gundam seed!

Warnings: My sister says to warn Athrun fans with pacemakers. Apparently one part is a bit intense.

Note: Notice the word "fatherly" when you read this. It's not shounen-ai or yaoi! (i have weird friends o0)

COOKIES- Thank you Aheeya, thegreatwhitewolf, Prince-in-Disguise, Ken Wise, reckless-rage, kagome, Leebat, MyLiFeIsMuSiC, RevolutionV, and Destiny Lot for reviewing! Hope you enjoyed your cookies:)

I still have cookies for people that review :D tee hee

Chapter 4: Why?

Athrun Zala stared at the door that Muww had gone out of in disbelief. Was that guy poking fun at me? That guy was poking fun at me! He scowled. How unprofessional was that? He tugged lightly on his arm straps, letting the leather leave little prints in his skin. They do seem to know how to tie a person up, though. Not like I could escape with my legs in this condition. He sighed, defeated. For now, at least. Squinting in the fluorescent lights, Athrun tried to clear his head. It was better now, but he still had fuzz on the edge of his vision, and it was still throbbing in places. Closing his eyes, Athrun focused on his legs.

He hadn't tried moving them yet, but part of him knew that if he had control over them, he should be in a whole lot more pain right now. Fighting against the neck strap to get a better view, he caught little glimpses of what the tubes and cords were doing. One of them was pumping blood through what he guessed was a severed vein. Some of the cords were simply supporting them, holding them just above the surface of the bed. The white and pale grey blobs he had seen earlier looked more like bandages now, flecked with little dots of red. Athrun concentrated every ounce of his willpower on his legs, and soon came to one horrible conclusion.

He could not move them.

He felt his heart rate rising, and his vision started to spin. I'm not, I'm not going to be crippled! He closed his eyes and choked a bit. I'm not I'm not I'm not! He could hear the steady beep of the heart rate machine speed up considerably, and soon a little flashing red light turned on near his head, letting out a soft alert. The sounds soon became muffled, as if they were coming from inside a glass jar. I'm panicking. I have to calm down; otherwise I'll go into shock. Athrun tried taking deep breaths, trying to slow his heart rate down, his soldier brain taking over. It didn't help. The sounds became more muffled, and he could hear hurried steps and quick conversing voices. His eyes clouded up even more. Too late, I'm already in shock. The world slowly dissolved, and Athrun exhaled as the machine flat-lined, emitting a loud, resounding beep.

Kira walked slowly down the hallway, lost in his own thoughts. He had chosen to take the hallway that he knew would have the least people in it. He didn't think that he could face anyone right now. Dragging his hand along the seams of metal, Kira looked out the plexi-glass windows at the twinkling stars. What am I doing here? He shook his head and turned down another corridor, quickening his pace, trying to outrun the thought. He whipped around a couple more corners, then stopped, breathing heavily. Looking around, he realized that he was in a hallway that he had never seen before. Suddenly curious, he walked down to the sliding doors. Raising his head up to read the plaque above the door, he emitted a small gasp.

Infirmary one.

Isn't that where they're keeping Athrun? He let his hand hover over the motion sensor for the door. He wanted to go inside, yet he didn't want to go inside. What can I say to you, Athrun? What will you do? He retracted his hand, backing away from the door. He couldn't. Not now. He just wasn't ready. Kira turned, his eyes still on the door. He started to walk away, but was stopped abruptly as a female doctor crashed straight into him.

"Moron! Get out of the way! Move!"

Kira blinked in surprise as he collided with the wall. "What?"

"Idiot!" The doctor turned tersely and quickly darted into the infirmary.

Kira felt his whole body seize up. What's going on? Is Athrun... He leaned against the wall for support, clenching his fists. Muww said he was badly injured, but could it be fatal? He flinched away from the thought. He stared at the door the doctor had just disappeared behind. What do I do, what do I do?! Kira felt tears of frustration gather up in his eyes. I can't do anything, I can't do anything! He brought his hands up to either side of his head, covering it as if there was going to be an explosion. Minutes passed by, and Kira was thinking that he couldn't take anymore, when he felt a light tap on the side of his shoulder.

"Are you alright?"

Kira looked up. Another one of the doctors was looking at him in concern.

"I-I don't...what's happening with that pilot?"

The doctor looked at him, concern in his own eyes.

"You must be the Strike pilot. Commander La Flaga told me this might happen. His heart just flat-lined. We're taking care of it though, so please don't be worried. He is a Coordinator, after all."

Kira looked up in shock. Flat-lined! He bit his lower lip.

"...will he die?"

The doctor looked at the distress in the youth's eyes, pity twisting in his heart. He couldn't lie.

"I don't know. Try not to think about it, okay? When we're all done taking care of this problem, you can go in to see him, alright? You can wait in Infirmary 2. Why don't you try getting some rest in the meantime?"

Kira nodded, and let the doctor lead him into the other infirmary. The doctor set him down on one of the beds, telling him to rest his head, and assuring him that they were doing all they could to save Athrun's life, even though he was a member of ZAFT. Kira knew that the doctor wanted him in here just in case he went into shock, but he didn't care. He watched the opposite wall intently, knowing that somewhere behind it, Athrun was struggling. He looked up to ask the doctor something, but the doctor had already left. Kira closed his eyes. He was tired. Athrun...

Muww cursed as he followed behind the doctor. How could you leave him alone? Stupid! The doctor had come to get him after Kira had had a panic attack. I knew he was distressed. Why did I let him wander around alone! Why do I keep forgetting that he's only a teenager?! He stopped as the doctor came to a halt in front of Infirmary 2. "He's in here." Muww nodded, stepping through the sliding door.

Kira was asleep on his side, his head resting on his arm. Muww walked carefully over to the side of the bed, concern flickering through him. The teen's face was in an expression of distress and confusion, as if he had fallen asleep unintentionally while thinking very hard. Muww felt a fatherly desire to pat Kira on the head. Reaching out his hand his hand, he rested it lightly on the tips of Kira's hair. "Poor kid..." he whispered out loud. At the sound of Muww's voice and the light touch on his head, Kira shifted, his eyelashes fluttering. Muww retreated back. Crap! He's a light sleeper! Kira opened his eyes fully, blinking to clear them.

"Muww?"

Muww looked at Kira. Kira looked at Muww.

"The doctor told me that you had a panic attack. I came in to check up on you."

"Oh... what happened with that pilot?! Do you know yet?!"

Muww felt his insides squirm. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. The female doctor poked her head inside, looking much kinder than she had when she knocked into Kira.

"He's stable. You can come to see him now."

Kira sighed in relief, but felt another pang as he realized that he was going to have to talk to Athrun now. Muww was still looking at him, obviously wondering if he was going to be alright. Kira shot a weak smile in his direction, trying to assure him. Getting up from the bed, he walked carefully over to the door. The doctor moved aside, letting him pass through. Turning to the other door, Kira hesitated. Taking a breath to steady himself, he walked in front of the sensor. The door opened with a pneumatic hiss, and he stepped inside, unsure of what would happen next.

Kira gasped as he saw Athrun, strapped down on the bad, cords and tubes sticking out of him. It barely looked like Athrun at all. At least, not the Athrun that he remembered. His hair was sticking out at odd angles, some of it still crusted with blood. There were bandages wrapped around his head, binding some kind of head trauma. His skin was pale and clammy, and it was only emphasized by the humming fluorescent lights. His body was limp, his left side lined with bruises where the safety belt of his mobile suit had strained to keep him in place. His legs covered in bandages, blood already seeping through them. One of his legs looked twisted, like it was broken. Kira started to shake. I allowed this to happen. Why did this have to happen?! Why? He glanced back at Athrun's face. He was sleeping now, but his expression was far from peaceful. Kira willed the green eyes to open. Willed the old Athrun to jump out and smile at him. Nothing happened.

Kira looked up at the steady waves and blips on the monitors around the room. The things monitoring Athrun's vital signs. They were still going, and he tried to take comfort from that. He turned to leave, but found that the door was already opening. Must be the doctors. Kira prepared to face them with a neutral expression, but found that there was no person coming through the door. Instead, a little green bird flew in soaring in circles. Kira's mechanical bird, looped the room twice before it landed on his shoulder, letting out a small call. "Torri!"

Kira flinched and looked back at Athrun. Athrun moaned a bit and shifted his arms. Kira held his breath, not knowing exactly what he was hoping for. Kira watched intently as Athrun's face twitched, and his eyes slowly opened. Kira stepped back a bit as Athrun blinked and gave a sweeping look around the room. Athrun's calculating look startled Kira. It was the look of a soldier. Then, Athrun's eyes fell on him. "Kira?"

Kira nodded slowly, tears coming up again. "Hi, Athrun."

Athrun blinked, his expression bleary. "Kira...why?"

Kira cringed at the tone of his friend's voice. It was desperate and sad. All the things that he himself was feeling. "Athrun, I..." He didn't finish. He didn't know why anymore.

"I don't want to be your enemy."

"I don't either!"

"Then why?"

Kira didn't know how to respond. He felt a tear crawl down his cheek. He took a deep breath. "These people, these people need my help. My friends need my help. I wouldn't be involved at all if it wasn't for that!"

Athrun nodded, suddenly remembering the words of his commander. Irony abounds in warfare. He closed his eyes.

"Athrun?!"

He opened his eyes again. "I know why you did it, but I can't understand how it came to this. Why are they on this ship anyway?"

Kira felt wretched. The melancholy tone Athrun had was horrible. "Athrun, I..."

Athrun closed his eyes again, too tired to keep them open anymore.

"I'm sorry."

Thank you for reading! Hope you liked it! Let me know if there's anything wrong with it. (OOCness, length, grammer, spelling, etc.)

Was it longer this time?