Mid-week chapter.
Merlins underpants, enjoy.
Lumos Maximum

VII:
Misteltoe

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I knew that I would get the scolding of a lifetime for skipping dad's class but not from mister save-the-world-again-and-again himself, no, from mum who had a way of yelling at anything and nothing. I love my mum, I really do, but it is extremely hard to be disobeying her without going deaf by her shirking and it was to no one's surprise that I overslept today either. Don't tell me how I know this but I have a vague feeling that my poorly written owl-in-sick was going to get me at least one threatening complain from my mother.

I am twenty one years old mother.

Not twenty one year's young but twenty one years old, I am old.

But it didn't matter, not this Monday morning anyways when I sat in my bed, knees tucked up to keep the warmth close and a boiling hot cup of tea in my hand. It was past noon and I felt childish to expect mum to burst into the room any minute and yell at me for skipping class but that was half the beauty in it.

If felt peaceful when I observed the slowly falling snowflakes that mixed perfectly with the dirty street outside my bedroom window. It made me think of a lot of things, of love and hate and… Well, if I said that I didn't think of Sev and Lily it would be a lie because I thought of them. They were an odd couple; my grandmother, pure like the falling snow and her friend Sev that somehow felt familiar and was a dark like the dirty street outside my window. I discarded the thought in my head and promised myself that after this coup of tea I would work myself around my flat, packaging up boxes and placing items of need in various places in my house.

I couldn't live like this.

I was twenty one years old.

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It was dark outside and the newly hung up clock on the wall ticked eight when my flat was decorated into Christmas perfection and looked livable for once. The magical fire sparked comfortably and there were plates in the kitchen, books in the shelves and most importantly toilet paper in the bathroom so I crashed at the couch, allowing myself the threat. I held a book I was eager to read, knowing that I had worked for it and it was (almost) like another book in my new shelf. Well, almost I reasoned when I stared at the book where Lily had scribbled down her deepest secrets.

So I opened it and stated that I was reading entry four.

"24 December 1974" I stated and with that the warm goo and the suction began as a queue for me to live my version of home to enter someone else's.

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Dear Diary.

Or Secret book.

Dear something.

I spoke to Mary Macdonald today. She told me something's about something Sirius tongue did with her own tongue that I will never want to experience. Especially not with Sirius. Everybody knows that he is a womanizer that has a thing for that Rawenclaw girl in sixth grade. It was not the point however, because Sirius Black is pointless. The point is that I never kissed anyone and Sirius has, Mary has and I even know that Potter has.
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The memory had taken me to a familiar place, it was Hogwarts. The never changing Common Room of Gryffindor looked comfortable with the sparking fire next to the worn out sofas and the low chatting tone buzzing the room. There were the occasional "bang" and "poof" from a corner in the Common Room that seemed natural to the environment, Hogwarts was timeless I stated.

"Evans" said yelled a young boy happily from across the Common Room Lily stood in. When he approached Lily I saw that it was James Potter. He looked like a copy of both dad, Albus and James with his messy hair, small frame and glittering eyes. James Potter had ordinary brown that shifted from teasingly glitter to lovable warmth as they approached Lily that stood with arms crossed.

"Potter" Lily said stiffly to my surprise. All the warmth in her tone was gone and she was seconds away from snapping.

"Where are you going?" James said suspiciously.

"And you care because…?"

"Uhm, because it's Christmas Day and you aren't allowed to go out after ten."

My first thought: Christmas Day?

But I regared it quickly when Lilys face turned from ice cold to a loud laughter more at James than with James."And have you ever considered this all those times you and Black lost all those points last week."

James grinned, revealing all his straight teeth and his eyes moved to a spot to the left of Lilys face while remembering his mischief's.
"Good that we have you to win them back at class" James examined.

Lily gave him a glare and corrected the green bow in her hair, straightened out her black robes and ran her fingers through her ponytail. "I'm leaving Potter," Lily declared and went straight past James.

"EVANS! STOP!" James burst out and Lily froze, petrified. James however ran in front of her and looked up to the thing that hung right above Lilys head. I watched the moment of their eyes exchanging looks of hate, love, confusion and passion and I was sure that this was the moment I was going to witness the first kiss between my grandparents.

"The answer is no," Lily said while her eyes looked hatefully at the mistletoe above their heads. The magic of the moment was lost with Lilys cold tone.

"You can't say no to the mistletoe," James pleaded. If he didn't resemble Al, James or dad so much I would consider him handsome and the look on his face rather cute and puppyish but Lily didn't see it.

"Watch me," Lily said and walked past James another time to the Portrait out of the Common room.

"Wait Evans, how about a date tomorrow at the Christmas fieldtrip?" James said securely and his hand went quickly up to mess his hair up even more. Lily rolled her eyes at his grand gesture and replied stiffly.

"How about you stop asking after eleven times?"

"You didn't say no this time, you just asked me to stop asking…" James said and smiled dashingly, the same girl getting smile that my brother James sported during his seven years at Hogwarts.

"No," Lily snapped, clearly not affected by his smile and turned her back at James that lost his smile.

"You're meeting Snivellus aren't you?" James yelled to her back. Lily might not see the eyes of James but they were angry and somewhat…jealous? No, I thought, why should James Potter be jealous at this Snivellus guy when he ended up marrying her?

"Severus" Lily corrected and my lips formed a "O", that made more sense, "And why do you care Potter?" Lily added viciously.

"Because he is Snivellus and a Slytherin!" James spat.

"Severus – and I do not mind him being that. At least he has boundaries, a feature you seem to lack," spat Lily towards James who wrinkled his forehead.

"What are you doing after curfew anyways?" asked James, still aggravated with Lilys comment.

"Oh, just a quick snogging session" Lily said sarcastically "how about you – are you off snogging Black senseless?"

"Evans, you know you're the only one for me," James said grinning but his mind was up to something by the look of his eyes.

"That Potter, I highly doubt," said Lily ironically and twirled around to leave the Common Room with me following her closely. Behind us was James under the mistletoe more jealous, angry or whatever it was that made his fists clench.

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Although… I don't know why anyone would want to kiss Potter.I don't know if Sev has, I heard rumors but surely he would tell me. I am planning on kissing him, as a Christmas gift tomorrow but I don't know if he would want me too. I mean, if I have to try it out it has to be with Sev. And I've kissed him once… pecked him maybe, on the lips but it was childish. It was not like Sirius and Mary, but who would want to roll tongues anyways. Sounds gross.

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The scene dissolved rather quickly and I thought that I was going to get pulled out from it but instead of standing in the warmth of the Common Room I was buried in snow to my caves and I saw a frozen playground from the street I stood in. My feet were naked but I didn't feel the cold, it felt like there was something but I couldn't feel it. I was not there. My thoughts about snow went away when I saw a younger Lily sitting on one of the swings, I could easily bet that she was ten or eleven tops. She was fully dressed with white mittens, a green jacket and a white knitted cap dragged down her ears. She sat on the swing alone when I reached the place but the bushes next to the playground started to made spooky sounds. I got frightened but she laughed.

"Come out!" Lily begged the bushes and seconds later Severus came, poorly dressed in an oversized black coat, dark blue leather mittens and a dark green cap dragged down on his head that pushed the greasy straws of hair closer to his face.

"Merry Christmas," Lily said cheerily while Severus approached the playground and crashed down on the swing next to her while she swung higher and higher. I stood up to avoid the same kind of slipup with the chair in the library and looked at them swinging in silence while the playground made its rusty sounds.

"Merry Christmas," Severus replied after a while, rather stiffly and un-jolly and started to swing.

"Did they fight?" Lily asked all the sudden and stopped her swing with her feet to get a better look at Severus next to her. Severus didn't answer Lily with words but nodded and let his feet drag against the snow to slow his swing down.

Lily looked sad. "I'm sorry."

"Best Christmas ever," Severus scoffed.

"I know, Tuney hates me more than I could imagine," Lily replied with all the cheeriness lost.

"She is a mug – she is stupid" Severus told Lily to try to cheer her up.

"She is my sister," Lily countered.

"I miss Hogwarts," Severus answered, clearly not enjoying the topic they've been discussing.

Lily moved somewhat in her swing to make the chains cling to the poles holding up the swings.
"Me too," Lily said and looked towards Severus to give him a weak smile.

"We could've been there you know," Severus said darkly. "They're probably having a feast."

"I am sorry for not staying there with you; I just thought that if I talked to Tuney and gave her all that candy we bought her at Honeydukes she wouldn't think that I am a freak" said Lily and looked down at her own footprints on the snow. "She fought me Sev, she told mum and dad that they had to choose between a normal daughter or me. I didn't want to make them choose between us so I left. Now they can have Tuney for themselves every Christmas and we could have our own in Hogwarts if you would want to… celebrate it with me. Would you?"

Lily exhaled sharply, trying to clear everything out from her mind and all the sudden she looked relaxed but a bit taken back by the bold request she just made Severus.

Severus looked more surprised than taken back by her question of having him as her family at Christmas and didn't know what to do with his fingers. He chose to play with the chains holding the swings up and avoiding Lilys eyes and mumbled silently to the chains. I couldn't determine if it was the cold of the snowy day or the proposal that made traces of red spread throughout Snapes face.

"I would like that. Beats my Christmases at home easily," Severus said softly to the chains without seeing the relive that spread across Lilys face behind him. He suddenly stood up and started to dig in his pocket until finding a small glass jar with a small fire in it.

"I was going to give it to you as a Christmas gift but you could give it to her. If you want," Severus said and approached Lilys swing to give her the glass jar. It glowed in red and blue, Incendio charmed fire I recognized. Lilys eyes widened at the sight of the flames floating half a inch from the bottom of the glass jar and looked with thanking eyes at Severus who chose to smile at last.

"You don't have to give me a gift; I mean we weren't supposed to give things. I just thought. Maybe... If you liked it. I don't know, but you don't have to." Severus said with an insecurity that didn't fit the character I observed at age fourteen. He looked really helpless when he decided to stop talking and look at Lily instead.

"I have a gift too you, I do. But mine is not magic and yours if better than mine, I could go home and get you another gift. Mum and dad bought me things from Diagon Alley – you could have your pick," Lily said childishly.

The reasoning was clearly eleven years old but Severus reply wasn't much older. "I don't want your pity."

"I didn't mean like that Sev, you know that," Lily pleaded and Severus face implied that he regretted his burst out and looked down at the snow in front of Lilys swing.

"You could give me the other gift whatever it was" Severus said with his eyes and feet buried deep in front of her swing. Lily looked up at him, blushing slightly.

"You know the one that you were going to give me. If you still want to," Severus added insecure and I saw how he contained courage to meet her eyes. Their eyes met finally and Lilys calculated Severus black eyes carefully before talking.

"Wait, I'll… find it. Close your eyes" Lily said and Severus closed his eyes.

She put the glass jar carefully in her pocket to make sure that it was safe before she stood up from her swing and walked towards Severus. She stood in front of him and wavered a couple of times before she started with a peck on the lips that resulted in her closing her eyes while Severus widened in chock. Lily held her lips plastered at Severus for a couple of seconds longer until Severus closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling. A few seconds later Lily pulled away and looked at Severus shut eyes with the same of insecurity she had plastered on her face when she asked him to share Christmas with him.

"Sev?"

Severus opened his eyes to meet Lilys and picked up quickly that Lily was feeling insecure.
"Your gift was good" Severus said, with red cheeks and a different kind of look at Lily after the kiss. There was something that resembled warmth in his eyes but only coldness or restrain was playing on his face.

"I practiced" Lily said beaming.

All the sudden Severus eyes went dark and if possible, his skin turned paler."With who?"

"On a mirror of course, I saw Tuney do it in her room" Lily said smartly and Severus went back to his normal state. They fell into what I would think was an awkward silence but they were looking content, both of them.

All the sudden there was two voices from across the street yelling Lilys name. Lilys voice sounded so surprised it hurt me. "That's mum and dad! They want me back… I have to go Sev, you should go too."

"It's not like they miss me at home, I think Tobias passed out," Severus said frowning.

There was another call for Lily and a loud squeak from a little girl followed by a third call.
"You could come with me if you'd like?" Lily said carefully with her eyes fixed longingly at the end of the street where the callings came from.

"Really?" Severus said, now allowing himself to look something else than cold. There were strings of hope across his face but hesitation of expressing them too quickly.

Lily smiled and grabbed Severus hand that was covered by the dark blue mitten with her own hand and pulled him next to her in the snow out of the playground and towards the end of the street where the calls after her came from. "Of course, we are best friends."

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My secret is that I wonder if I will be bad at it, or I think I will and will he even like it. I doubt it, I am not like Mary. She is taller than me and prettier and she knows how to do it. But I have to do it, it is Christmas and we never buy things to each other because of, well we just don't so he could not ask for something better. Maybe I should ask Mary how to do it before I go to meet him tomorrow. I just want to know more about the theories behind a kiss. If they aren't some logic behind kissing I am really doomed. At least Sev won't hate me for being bad. But again, how would I know that?

Lily.

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That night I slept troubled in my bed, it was the memory of my grandparents that haunted me. In my dreams I was a part of the memories I traveled through, I felt the cold of the playground instead of assuming and it bit against my naked feet and I felt all the emotions as vivid as I saw the colors. My granddad sat on a swing crying next to me and a lot of flames that shifted in red and blue like those Severus gave Lily at the playground filled the rough edges of the dream. There was no Severus or Lily on this playground, only James, tears, flames and the sense of Lilys hate towards him. How could she hate her future husband that much?

I slept troubled that night, I know, twenty one years old but all I wanted was Mum.

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Lily might be able to see the secrets written but she had a harder time understanding them. There were always two sides to a story; there was the side clear from tragedies and imperfection. The one that glittered like diamonds because it was as valuable as one and as rare and there's the other side of the story, the human version where bruises and scars were natural. The side of the story where the flaws create the plotline and the secrets define the value of the moments lived. Lily needs to journey through the few memories shared to understand that love is not a fairytale but we chose to make it one and that is what counts in the end…

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I really enjoyed writing this chapter and I hope you enjoyed reading it too.
they are somewhat adorable.. right? Both James and Severus.
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Lumos Maximus.