Chapter 3 has arrived. I don't own Artemis Fowl; if I did I would have a better computer and a centaur to fix it when it breaks. I don't own death note, either. I am still annoying, though. Even my teachers think so- especially my teachers.
This is becoming pathetically OOC, but that is the general effect me and my friends tend to have on people.
Artemis was almost regretting choosing to deal with the girls himself. They had spotted him, and one of them had begun jumping up and down, pointing. Butler had followed him outside, and was eyeing the girl sat by the gates with a caution deserving of a wild animal. "There you are! Open this gate right now so I can teach your monkey some manners!" she ordered, launching a kick at the bars. "You should be grateful I'm not wearing heels."
"I suggest you leave, else I shall have my 'monkey' teach you some manners." He warned.
"Are you threatening me? You little rat! Just wait till I get my hands on you!"
"Sorry" one of the other girls, who had been jumping, cut in. "She gets cranky if she hasn't had enough E-numbers."
"I am not cranky!" she screeched, kicking the fence again.
Artemis watched the girls for a few moments, making a quick analysis. The short one didn't look particularly stable; the ginger was making some failed attempts to calm her, suggesting she was the more sensible; the third girl was looking amused, and the final, a curvy black girl, was eyeing up Butler. In fact, the bodyguard had also noticed, and was looking oddly uncomfortable. "I will say this only once more: leave. Now." The only response Artemis got was a cocked head from the first girl, and then, "you know, the Irish accent isn't nearly as sexy when it's mixed with a posh accent."
Artemis and Butler were caught off guard by the girl's sudden calmness, but the others looked as though it was nothing. "Have you decided against attempting to kill us?" he asked.
"Do you want me to kill you?" she responded, with a sickly sweetness.
"It would be a great inconvenience."
"Well then… don't complain!" she snapped, beginning to pace. The black girl had moved closer to the gate, and Butler was edging further away. "Artemis, if you have any great ideas, now would be the time." Butler actually stepped behind Artemis, as though the boy was the body guard, and this girl was some sort of threat. "Grow a backbone, Butler. We're supposed to be afraid of you, not the other way around." Taunted the first girl, while the other batted her eyelashes in Butler's direction.
Butler shifted nervously, not helping Artemis' mood. "Who are you?" he snarled at the girls, loosing patients quicker than he ever had before. "I'm Nikola. Are you going to let me in now?" chimed the black girl. Artemis turned to the other three, ignoring the question. "And you"
"You don't need to know our names." Smirked the first girl. Artemis cleared his throat impatiently. Butler was backing towards Fowl manor. "Nikola, you are making Butler uncomfortable." He told her.
"I give it six days before she has a saddle on him." Murmured the previously silent girl to the ginger. "I wouldn't put a saddle on him" Nikola cut in, "maybe a dog collar."
Those words were all it took to send Butler scrambling back inside. Artemis stood staring over his shoulder longer than necessary. "Why is grass green? Why is the sky blue? How does a mirror work? Does the light stay on after you close the fridge? How does- Hey!" The girl reached through the fence bars, grabbing at the paper Artemis had just snatch from her.
"This is the most pathetic attempt at writing I have ever seen. The humor is cheap and very badly done, it was clearly written by an imbecile, and this wouldn't annoy anyone. Now, please, go home." He said, handing back two pieces of paper, labeled 'How to Annoy Artemis Fowl' and 'How to Annoy Butler'. "How dare you." She gasped. "Just you wait…" she launched herself at the bars again, reaching for Artemis. "La-" the ginger girl started, but was cut off by the first. "Don't use my name! Do you know how many assassins this guy knows?"
"I don't think he's gonna have you killed." Nikola cut in, trying to catch a glimpse of Butler through the window.
"He might do. If you must call me something, call me… L!"
'L' began bouncing on the balls of her feet, clapping her hands. "Have you ever considered professional help?" Artemis asked, already planning out a study on obsessive attempts at being annoying. "Have you ever considered telling your professional help about the fairies?" she retorted.
"No, and I do not intend to. You are neither as funny nor as annoying as you seem to think you are, and it would be best if you left before you humiliate yourself further." With that last comment, he began a leisurely stroll back to the manor.
"Oh, no he didn't." growled I.a.n.a.v./L.
"I think he did." Answered Sh4d0w, apparently not recognizing the rhetorical question. L pulled a laptop from her hand bag (that thing's like the tardis; there's a hole office in there!) and began to type something. "Why did you call yourself 'L'" asked Nikola.
"Because I am childish, and I do not like to loose." A sly mile slipped onto L's lips as she said this, turning into a grin to rival the Cheshire cat's. "Are you quoting animes again?" emo backed away, like most people do when L quotes things. "It's an almost quote." She answered, turning her laptop to reveal two words written on : 'Fangirls Wanted'.
I also don't own Doctor who or Alice in wonderland. I was serious about the fangirls, if you want to be one, get an official guest appearance, and bother Artemis, just say so in a review! Even if you don't, review. I like reviews.
Expect various other guest appearances from all manor of strange people; I am here for my fans. And flamers, I couldn't possibly leave them out.