Check back to the last chapter for the list of fan-girls. I do not own Artemis and co. They are just way too much fun is all. And special thanks to The one called Demetra, who apparently really does find me annoying. It means a hell of a lot to me.
An exhausted Butler collapsed into a chair, glaring at the six bound and gagged fan-girls. L and her friends had been left untied, mostly because Butler was still running away whenever Nikola was near him. "You still aren't annoying, you know," Artemis told L coldly. "And you aren't funny, either. I suggest you all return home now, before you humiliate yourselves further."
L idly threw the first thing she saw at him, which happened to be an expensive looking vase, before dodging as Butler tried to tackle her. "I think I'm annoying Butler," she chimed, "at least it's a start."
"I repeat, you are neither annoying nor funny, go home and see a councillor," sighed Artemis. She split into a smile at this comment. "I'm getting to you, aren't I?"
Artemis shook his head, more out of frustration than as an actual answer. L really is that annoying. "This is just one of life's little tests," he assured himself.
"And you, my friend, are failing," L cut in.
"Shouldn't you be crossing that off your list?" he asked dryly. L cocked her head slightly, confused. "I believe telling me I failed a test was one your list," he explained.
Sifting through her bag, L eventually located the lists. "Oh yeah, it is," she mused, "but you aren't having a nervous breakdown, how do I cross that one off?" Artemis exhaled loudly, almost looking bothered. Almost, but of course this is Artemis Fowl we're talking about. "Butler, would you please pass me that newspaper?"
Butler handed it over obediently. Strangely, Artemis rolled it up into a tube, approaching L with some sense of purpose. As she stood looking dumb and confused, he lifted the newspaper tube, a whacked it off her head. "Does that count as a nervous breakdown?" he asked.
"Yes. But if you hit me with that again I'll ram it up your arse," she warned.
"Oh, wait. You need to record it, don't you? Here, let me help you with that," he hissed, whacking her twice more.
On the third swing, L grabbed wrist, twisting it until he dropped the newspaper. Artemis stepped back holding his wrist, just in time to see Butler wrench L off the ground and pin her against the wall by her throat. "If you try that again, you will won't be in a well enough state to regret it."
"Put me down, right now! I'm not scared of you."
"Then you really are as stupid as you look," he snarled.
"You want to see how stupid I really am?" she asked, launching a powerful kick at his groin.