Chapter Six
Dean closed his eyes as the steaming water from the shower pelted scolded skin from being in the spray for so long. He would have been impressed with the water heater for the Motel Bonita had he had half an inclination to even entertain such a trivial thought at the moment. Dean exhaled his mouth wide as he breathed against the water streaming down his face and then raked a hand over his face to clear the water enough to breath again. He tilted his head down and watched the pink tinged funnel that circled the drain.
If he could have washed away six months of remorse, guilt, confusion, pain, joy, love…he would have. But no matter how long he let that water pound against his skin, no matter how long he washed the salt from his still open wounds, now matter how many tears he let mingle into the spray, it wasn't enough. Dean let his forehead touch the fiberglass before him as a sob tore through him bringing him slowly sliding to the floor of the bathtub.
He didn't know how long he sat there in a huddled mass rocking against the water as he finally aloud himself the luxury of cracking, even just a little. Just enough. Something to let the feelings that he repressed for too long vent so that he wouldn't completely break. He was so far gone in the moment to hear the door slowly inch open and close behind the intruder.
"Dean?" Dean instantly stiffened when he heard Sam call his name softly as if trying to wake him. "You alright?"
Dean knew the only reason Sam had come in for this conversation was because there was a room full of people on the other side of that door, but he still felt the anger, that his brother's interruption caused, and the frustration of having to cover up his own pain, hit him like a bust to the gut.
"Yeah." Dean coughed over the answer as he tried to clear the remnants of the gut wrenching sobs from the back of his throat. "You talk to Bobby?"
"He's ten minutes out." Sam replied quietly.
Dean pulled himself to his feet hoping like hell that Sam hadn't seen his shadow rising from the bathtub basin.
"Can we talk a minute?" Sam asked finally betraying his real reason for entering the room.
"The potion ready?" Dean had given Sam the task of preparing it, because he knew he wouldn't botch it.
"Ten minutes," Sam's tone was guarded and it was bugging Dean to no end. It was like he thought he was going to lose it. "Dean it's about the last six months…"
"How's Ben?" Dean didn't want to talk about, not now, not like this, not ever really, but especially not now.
"Ambre's patching him. Says he needs rest and is recommending a hospital, persistently." Sam was getting tired of the dodging.
"Tough luck." Dean whispered turning the water off as he left the shower curtain pulled shut, not moving.
"Dean…"
"Sam…don't" Hell the barrier of the shower curtain was feeling more and more like a confessional booth that had been forced on him.
"I just want to know…" Sam's voice was pleading for answers. It was is if he thought he knew the extent of the damage, but Dean knew he had no clue.
"Trust me." Dean half scoffed giving away the fact that he'd been crying as he sucked in a breath and coughed again. "You don't."
Dean watched in dismay as Sam's hand wound a bit around the shower curtain and his little brother pulled it back just enough to meet Dean's eyes. "You got to let me help you here…you are losing it."
Dean felt his jaw tighten as he suddenly swung past Sam with a hard line of anger pulling his mouth taught while he wrenched the towel from the rack and wrapped it around himself with a hiss. He stepped right past Sam pausing a moment to meet his eyes as if to dare him to say that again. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about. I'm fine."
Sam let out a loud scoff watching as Dean made it past him and reached for his bag in the floor. "Yeah you're the picture of stability…Dean, come on…what happened?"
Dean couldn't believe that Sam was pushing him, the little prick. After everything…after everything he was going to keep it up…going to just keep grilling and grilling and wouldn't shut the hell up for two seconds about what was tearing Dean to pieces on the inside. Dean rounded on Sam in rage. God, it pissed him off to no end that Sam wouldn't stop. Dean didn't even realize when he was grabbing his little brother by the shirt….slamming him into the wall… feeling some release from that rough contact that near knocked the breath from his brother. " In the last six months…I've run from everything evil you can possibly imagine…I've watched you die…I've watched the world go to hell…I've seen things that no one…" Dean felt the tears coming of their own volition now. "No one… should ever see. And I have never felt so helpless…we ran and we ran and we ran …" Dean screamed out against the tears and the pain welling up in side him his hands tightening around Sam as he held him shoved up against the wall. "Even when we were fighting we ran…and you know by the time we actually were powerful enough to maybe turn the tide…thing were too far gone." Dean broke through the tears with a growl that completely encompassed the level of frustration coursing through him through the tears.
As if realizing for the first time that Sam was pinned to the wall and that he was responsible for it, Dean released him and staggered back against the sink tearing his gaze to the floor for a moment. As he fought to get his emotions under control he slowly pulled his gaze up to meet Sam's. "I'm through running." He whispered.
"Dean…" Sam didn't know what to say as he felt his heart wrench from seeing Dean faltering even in his resolve to keep going. He paused sensing that Dean had more to say.
"Get out of here and let me get dressed we don't have time for Q and A right now. Go pour that potion up for everyone…we can talk about this after that. After Bobby gets here with Shay." Dean had to pull it together.
Dean reached for the door so that Sam could make his exit and he quickly opened it motioning for his brother to go on. Sam however stepped and shoved it closed again moving closer to Dean stepping right in front of him. He wasn't going to let him do this. Sometimes the only way to get Dean to talk was to just keep pushing. "No…not until you tell me more…Why were we running? What happened to us…to YOU…what happened Dean?"
Dean glared back at Sam stilling the enormous urge to hit his brother. "Sam, go pass out that potion or we're not going to have time to finish this conversation." Dean hissed out. Dean grabbed his clothes and quickly pulled them on and without giving Sam a chance to go on he opened the door and stomped out of the bathroom.
Dean took in Ambre and Ben from the corner of his eye on the bed as Ambre leaned over the man trying her best to put him back together. He stomped past them silently and walked outside the room yanking his keys from the table along the way as he made his way to the car. Dean stopped before the trunk and quickly yanked it open taking in a freed Nessa. Hell he was surprised she hadn't punched her way through the back seat or just taken the damn trunk door from it's hinges. But she burst out swinging. He had been ready for that though and slammed a fist into her face as soon as she jumped at him. She fell back against the trunk bed and pushed herself up with a growl instantly.
"That's it Cowboy!" She screamed and jumped from the trunk onto Dean. Nessa wrapped her legs around his waist as she wound her arms around his shoulders and slammed her head into his taking the both of them to the asphalt. Dean smiled against the pain as he hit and managed to slam his own head into hers snapping her head back. Nessa smiled back. Dean instantly brought his fist up and hit her again getting a broader smile as she pulled a hand from around his neck and wiped the blood from her busted lip. She laughed out and slowly unwound herself from his body as she pulled herself to her feet and then grabbed him up by the front of the shirt, eliciting a hiss of pain from the action. "You know I really like you." She nodded before she slammed his body into the open trunk and then slammed the door shut. She stopped there and patted the trunk a moment shaking her head. Some people would never learn.
Suddenly a shotgun blast sounded from inside the trunk and she felt the spray of metal as the bullet tore into her chest…again. Nessa stared down at the trunk in amazement as she slid to the ground. A moment later a hand came out of the hole that had been blasted in the trunk and found the keys still in the lock. He twisted the key and then slowly pulled his hand back through before shoving the trunk open with a "oomph'. He lay there a moment to catch his breath. So much for the car being unscathed.
Dean pulled himself out of the trunk, grabbed a bag out, slammed the door shut then reached down and picked up Nessa's bloodied form before carrying her into the room. Sam had just made his way to the door in time to see Dean carrying Nessa in. He had heard the gunshot and been hurrying to Dean's defense, but it looked like he had everything under control. "'Scuse me." Dean breathed pushing past Sam.
He slammed Nessa's body down on the free bed and watched as her eyes opened taking in pained and labored breaths. "You're going to pay…"
"Oh save it…" Dean shouted at her. "You should be thanking me…I'm doing you're damn job for you." Dean pulled out a set of handcuffs and slid one against Nessa's right wrist before pulling her up and carrying her to the barred window. He slid the chain around two of the bars pulling her wrist's painfully tight against them as he slid the other into place. "Now sit." He called out as he went to finish Sam's job for him. The potions were sitting out in little plastic cups and Dean grabbed the first two bringing the green goo to Ambre and Ben first.
"Drink up guys. Sam get your own cup." Dean wasn't going to be able to rest until he knew that they were free of detection. Dean walked over and downed one cup then refilled his cup and took it to Nessa. He turned his daring gaze on her. "This is an anti-scrying potion…you want to keep her safe…you drink it…" He explained all at once.
"I'm not drinking that." Nessa shook her head.
"Fine." Dean walked over to the bag and pulled his .45 out. He aimed at Nessa's head. The response from the room was immediate as everyone began to protest the action. "Shut up!" Dean screamed at them all. As the room fell to silence all eyes on Dean and Nessa Dean continued. "Alturoc isn't two steps ahead…he's already walked it… backtracked it… and he isn't pulling the punches…and as arrogant and self righteous as you tend to be. I'm going to need you on my side…and not dead. So I suggest you drink so we can get on with this. Everyone drinks." Dean called out making a sweep of the room with his eyes.
Ambre and Ben quickly choked theirs down as Sam went ahead and drank his own cup full of the vile potion. Dean arched an eyebrow at Nessa. "So what's it going to be?"
Nessa was quiet in a sort of silent seething as she glared back at him. "Fine…I'll drink it." She growled out finally. Dean nodded and tossed the gun to Sam. "Keep it on her." Dean pointed to his head to explain just where to keep it pointed "…she attacks me you waste her."
Dean took the cup to Nessa and helped her get the drink in her. As soon as she finished he backed off quickly. Sam lowered the gun feeling lightheaded all at once.
"What the…" Ambre was sinking against the bed fast and Ben was already out cold.
"Has a hell of a kick don't it." Dean sighed. "Took us a month to get over the intoxication the first time. Good thing I've built up a tolerance. You guys are going to feel a little drunk though for a while."
Dean turned to the door as a knock sounded. He quickly made his way over taking his gun back from Sam and looked through the peephole. Bobby and a man he'd never seen before stood outside. Dean quickly tucked the gun away and opened the door. "Come on in." Dean motioned them past the chained up guardian and the sacked out Ambre and Ben watching as Sam sank into a chair speechless as he tried to keep his eyes from rolling into the back of his head.
"First things first." Dean called out and went on to get two more potions. Shay was already checking on Ambre screaming out questions as he motioned to Nessa and then tried to wake Ambre. "She'll be fine." He promised Shay though it was of little comfort at the pure chaos enveloping the room for now. "Here." He handed the first cup to Bobby then went to Shay with the second. "Drink it up…it's the only thing that's going to get us a good nights sleep."
"What is this?" Bobby wrinkled his nose with a sniff of the contents.
"Antiscrying potion…it's going to keep the bad guys off our tail." Dean replied quickly. Dean watched as Shay drank his before he turned back to Bobby in time to see a shrug and the man downed the contents.
Dean sank into a free chair watching the various effects the potion was having around the room. Shay passed out almost instantly now resting next to Ambre and Ben all laid out on the same bed in various positions. Sam fought to stay conscious in the chair across from Dean. Bobby staggered a bit but Dean figured his tolerance was about as good at Nessa who seemed unphased.
At any rate the silence from the shock to their systems was almost welcome and Dean sank lower into his chair exhausted. "Lets get some sleep." He finally said to bobby with out offering any explanations yet. "We've got a long day tomorrow." Dean glanced at Nessa as Bobby arched an eyebrow in the girls direction in confusion.
"Dean," Bobby motioned to Nessa questioningly.
"What?" Dean replied as if he had no idea what the problem was.
Bobby gave his head a shake widening his eyes as he pointed at Nessa waiting for an explanation.
"Oh…yeah…You want a blanket, Ness?"