November 10, 2005
"I Can't Do It Alone"
Alexis follows Kristina's big pencil across the lined paper with her finger. She looks down at the baby to make sure she's paying close attention.
"K" Alexis speaks perfectly as if it's the most important letter in the alphabet.
"Kkkkk." Kristina enunciates just like her Mommy while writing the biggest K that her pencil stroke can handle.
"Save some room for the other letters Kristina. Ok. 'R'."
"Rrrrr." She draws a tiny R next to the big K.
"Can I get an 'I' Little Miss Davis?"
"Yes Mommy. Iiiiiii." Kristina writes her 'I' and places her pencil down.
"Are you finished writing?"
"Time for Africa book Mommy. I go get it."
Kristina hops down from the chair in search of the big book. Alexis unfolds the 'Dear Kristina' letter and looks it over again. She remembers Sonny opening the book filled with animals of all different shapes and sizes. "We can make up our own stories with this one." He used to say even when Kristina requested another book. He always managed to sell her on the best stories coming from the imagination.
"We can make up our own stories." Alexis whispers to herself as she folds the letter back up.
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The backyard starts to look more like home with his lawn chair stationed in the middle of the concrete back porch with everything within reach. Sonny steps down from the ladder after putting his finishing touches on the stuck awning positioned over his area of comfort. He notices Brooke Lynn enjoying the fruits of his labor while laid back in the chair lost in a book with her sunglasses on. His eyes scan across the yard to see how far he's gotten and how much further he has to go to make it seem like home again.
"Check out that tree Brooke Lynn." Sonny points to a huge tree sitting back in his yard.
She looks up from her book. "That's a big tree Uncle Sonny. What are you going to do with it?"
"We are going to build a tree house. It's something I always wanted to do, but my dad never had time. I need your help. Think like a four year old. So if you were going to design a tree house, what would it look like?"
Brooke Lynn ponders. "It'd have an internet connection. Preferably wireless."
Sonny throws his hands up. "Whatever happened to the basics? Don't you like the Easy Bake Oven?"
Brooke Lynn stands up, throws her hands on her hips, and stomps the ground. "That was totally a sexist comment."
Sonny's jaw drops. "I had an Easy Bake Oven Young Lady and I'm damn proud of it."
She blushes and tries not to laugh. "Don't ever admit that to anyone else. And if you mention it to my mom, it'll end up on Good Morning Benson Hurst."
Sonny stuffs his hands in his pockets and kicks at the specks of ants crawling near his area. "You wanna see my Easy Bake Oven?"
"Fine. Show me. I won't be impressed." She grins with that mischievous smile she inherited from her mother.
Sonny escorts Brooke Lynn through the backdoor of the house. "It's in the basement. I'll be right back."
He continues on down the stairs while Brooke Lynn walks through the dark corridor from the kitchen to the living room sniffing the moldy air. She runs her hand up and down the dusty stair banister and calls down to him. "Uncle Sonny! I got a challenge for you!"
Sonny yells up through the duct. "What! I think I found it!"
Brooke Lynn climbs onto the banister and looks downward towards the duct. "Let's have stair banister tournaments! My mom won't let me do this at home! It'll be fun!"
Sonny's brain freezes into a momentary trance as he looks upward noticing the flicker of her movements on the staircase. He drops the oven breaking it into pieces scattered along the concrete basement floor.
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"Your mom wanted me to keep you company. I'll keep you company alright. I'm gonna show you the art of breaking and entering into the Quartermaine mansion."
Sonny took Kristina's tiny hand and guided her up the walk of the Quartermaines. He opened the door jiggling the doorknob with his pocketknife. Kneeling down to Kristina, he tried to keep her attention already focused on the grand staircase in the front room.
"When I was little Kristina, we had a staircase in our house. No other house on the street had one like it. When my mommy, your grandmother, wasn't home, we had banister tournaments. I'll show you. We'll freak Edward out."
Sonny flicked on the lights in the Q foyer and rubbed his hands together at the thought of tackling the grand staircase.
"This Kristina is the most fun that you will have at my age. Guaranteed."
"Ok Daddy. Show me now."
Sonny picked Kristina up under her arms and carried her up the stairs.
"Remember. You can never do this alone."
He laid her on her tummy at the top of the staircase and held her tight helping her glide to the bottom.
"Ok Kristina. Keep your chin up and always hold tight."
"I wanna slide another way Daddy."
"This is the beginner's way of sliding. We'll learn another way next time."
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Brooke Lynn hears the crash and hops down racing towards the basement with Sonny rushing towards her. She notices the sweat beaming on his face and his breathing heavy.
"What's wrong Uncle Sonny?"
He touches his chest over his heart a little embarrassed from losing himself in the past.
"Don't scare me like that. You could hurt yourself. Your mother would kill me."
Brooke Lynn laughs it off. "Come on Uncle Sonny. It's no big deal. Stop freaking out over everything. Now you broke your oven."
Sonny studies the broken piece of his oven in his hand. "Why does everything seem to be falling apart? Is this my karma?"
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Alexis calls up the stairs knowing her daughter's precocious nature. "Have you not found the Africa book, Dear! Where did you leave it last time!"
Kristina wanders into her mother's bedroom searching as low and as high as she can reach for her storybook. She crawls under one end of Alexis' bed in deep search with the surprise of Uncle Ric waiting for her at the other end.
His angelic smile beams from ear to ear at finally getting the chance to talk to her again, but he tones it down after noticing the dim in her eyes. "Still can't find your book?"
Kristina's despondent face shatters. "Mommy lost it."
Ric helps Kristina up from the floor and points to the closet. "Do we think Africa book is in the closet?"
She shrugs her shoulders while Ric opens the closet door filled with neatly packed and sealed boxes. Clearing off the table of Kristina's supplies, Alexis stops for a moment. Instinctively, her heartbeat pulsates. She recalls exactly where she placed Kristina's precious Africa book.
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"You have no clue where the book went?" Kevin quizzes her trying to prompt her memory.
Alexis buries her face in her hands. "I do remember. And that's the problem. I was just on a rampage I guess. I had forgotten that she likes to read her books in my closet. It's so big and cozy all at the same time. But I had packed up the nursery and put Ricky's toys in there and I told her that we couldn't do closet time anymore until I had time to send everything away."
"You couldn't hire some big, strong, bulky boys to take everything away?"
"That's too logical Kevin. No. I wasn't ready to. So I sent a couple boxes off and I think…In fact I'm certain I put the Africa book in one of those boxes."
Kevin throws his head back and groans. "Ok. So Kristina's favorite storybook is on its way to charity. Nice."
"Don't believe for a minute that I don't feel bad. One minute I'm taking two steps forward and the next thing I know I've taken five steps backward."
Kevin thinks for a moment and tries to get the session back on track. "Alexis, looking at everything in perspective; deep down in your heart, did you feel like your loss of the baby was an accident?"
"Kevin, logically it was an accident although Ric didn't see it that way. I have no problem admitting that it took a little time for both of us to see it that way. Looking back at it now, I know it was an accident."
"Does any part of you resent Kristina for what happened?"
Alexis sits up in her chair with her eyes ready to fall from her head that he'd ever suggest such a thing.
"I could never ever resent Kristina for anything. I can't believe you'd even say such a thing."
"Alexis, you don't pay me to stroke your ego. Obviously Sonny realizes that or he'd be here too. You pay me for the gift of perspective."
"She is the most precious person in my life. I could never resent her. Don't ever go there again."
"I am just facilitating a conversation."
Alexis jumps up from the chair and grabs her coat. "We're finished. I'm done with this. I'm finding another shrink."
Kevin throws down his pen and points at her rushing for the door. "You'll be back. You always do this to me when I hit a nerve. But you'll be back."