November 20, 2005
DISCLAIMER: A portion of the ending of the chapter was removed to respect song copyright rules. The full chapter can be accessed at my fan fiction site or at www.justbreathe.tv.
"White Satin"
Alexis sat back and familiarized herself with her restraints while trying to drum up conversation with the man holding her hostage.
"I'm not exactly a praying woman."
"Is that so Ms. Davis?" The gunman continued to look out the window.
"Yea. Do you have any prayers you can share? Are you religious?"
The gunman pulled from the window and yanked out a chair across from her. He sat down and laid his rifle across his lap. "I'm pretty religious."
"Really? I couldn't tell. What is God telling you to do with me? I'd like to know what type of prayers I should be saying right now."
He threw back his head and laughed. "You're going to live Ms. Davis. Your friends. Not so much."
"You said I had a choice right?"
"You do and you have yet to choose. Shall I help you?"
Alexis yanked at the rope tying her hands behind her chair. Prayers for help flew through her head. "Well…"
"Let me help you Ms. Davis. There's Sonny Corinthos. I have every reason to blow him away. But then I thought about it. Torturing him during his last days in witness protection could be a whole lotta fun. What do you think?"
"Well. If killing Sonny keeps Kristina safe, then so be it. I have things that I hate about him. But, there are things that I love about him too."
"What about Ric Lansing? He's a schmuck. Big talker. What's your opinion on him?"
"Well. Our relationship didn't end so well, but we tried to remain civil for the sake of the firm. We almost had a son together, but things didn't work out."
"Whose fault was that?"
Alexis looked down trying not to remember. "I guess mine. I don't really know. I used to think it was Sonny's fault, but I had to learn to think rationally. This is saying a lot because he never thinks rationally. Not without my help at least."
"Strike three for Sonny huh?"
"Sure. Again. If you promise never to hurt my daughter, you can have him."
"What about Lorenzo Alcazar, Ms. Davis?"
"We had a rough start. His brother killed my sister and I killed his brother. So we're even. But if losing Lorenzo means that I lose Zander, then maybe I've made my choice."
The gunman stood up and walks towards the door.
"I'll have my men bring them in so you can say your last words to the unlucky two."
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"Dear God. I really really need a new shrink." Alexis grabs tight to the blanket covering her shivering body. She sits up in Lorenzo's recliner realizing Viola's voice calling through the intercom.
Alexis jumps up from her daydream and presses the button. "I'm on my way over Viola. Tell Kristina I will find Africa book as soon as possible. I promise."
"She's not happy Alexis." Viola chimes back with an air of frustration.
"Try the park! It's a beautiful invention. I need a moment of silence!"
Not realizing her strength, Natasha rips the intercom box from the wall. She tosses it to the ground and takes a deep breath to hold back the tears.
"It's just post traumatic stress Alexis. Post traumatic stress." She tells herself. "Breathe deep. Nights in white satin. Nights in white satin. Black satin sheets…"
"You learned that breathing technique from me didn't you?" Lorenzo touches the small of her back to grab her attention.
"Your sheets are white satin. Sonny's are black. But the reason I'm focusing on white is not because I thought you were better, but because across the hall I have a very very unhappy miniature version of Michael Corinthos Jr. spitting bullets and I'd like to forget the man even exists right now."
"Need a drink? My treat." Lorenzo breaks out his gentlemen's smile.
She stares at the illusion of him waiting to entertain her. "Lorenzo, you're driving me to alcoholism and quite possibly a nervous breakdown."
"You wear it well Natasha. My white satin sheets thank you. Always."
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"You did what with my father?" Zander uttered in total shock.
Alexis looked at her watch trying to avoid answering his questions. She flagged down the waiter hoping for a save.
"Alexis? You gonna answer my question?"
"It was a thing. A little thing. Did you enjoy your mashed potatoes? Were they lumpy?"
"Was it a fling thing? Or a relationship in the making thing?" Zander continued to prompt for answers.
Alexis tried to get the waiter's attention. "I really need something to breathe into right now. Is it hot in here to you?"
"Jesus Christ Alexis. You had sex with my dad. Not a big deal. I just wanna know what it means."
Alexis touched her chest and tried to breathe on track. "Don't worry. You will not have valid reasons to call me Mommy Dearest. It was merely a thing. A drunken thing. An Alexis is under a lot of stress thing. And sometimes Natasha doesn't want to behave. But why should she? She does whatever she wants to do and blames Alexis when she gets caught."
"Ok. Chill out. I hate it when you do that split personality thing." Zander shrugged his shoulder and continues to eat his potatoes.
Natasha yanked his plate from in front of him and grabbed him by the collar. "And don't you dare tell Sonny and Ric or you lose that portion of the Cassadine fortune that Alexis promised you. Ditto?"
Zander swallowed hard. "Ditto."
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"Alexis here?" Sonny steps into the apartment practically torn to shreds. He picks up a piece of Barbie and spots Viola putting on her coat.
"I am so glad to see you Mr. Corinthos. I just got Kristina settled down. She's having a hard time with the loss of this book."
"What book?"
"The Africa book. We can't find it anywhere. I really have to go. Alexis is across the hall. I think she's having another moment."
Viola hurries out. Sonny starts to pick up the toys, but he stops when Alexis enters the room.
"Where is the Africa book?" He questions.
"Not you too." Alexis grabs her head and starts past him towards the balcony. She opens the glass doors and takes a gasp of fresh air.
"That's her favorite book. Michael gave her that book. It can't be replaced."
Alexis continues outside and leans on the balcony. His prodding digs up the Natasha deep inside. She turns to him practically ready to slit his throat.
"Let me explain something to you Corinthos! I know where the damn book went! I know exactly where to find it, but I can't for reasons that you will never understand! So go to hell!"
Sonny's face freezes in momentary fear for his life. She whizzes past him again and picks up "The Cat in the Hat" from the table flinging it into his hands.
"Read that!" Natasha yells but immediately Alexis takes over and realizes her mistake.
He takes the book and calmly lays it on the table. "I really liked that book. That's all. No need to get upset."
She tries to fend off the wheezing brewing in her voice. "It's just that it's either in the boxes in my closet or in a set of boxes that went to the charity house. The only way I will know is if I open up every box and search."
"Still hard huh?" Sonny tries to give her his dimpled smile, but she refuses to accept the subtle gift.
"Only if I have to open those boxes."
"If you'd prefer, I could search for you. Spare you that moment."
"That's very kind of you." Alexis finally returns the cheery gesture filled with relief that he's there.
Sonny places his coat on the table and starts upstairs while she throws her emotionally tired body onto the couch. He stops on the stairs and decides to approach her again.
"Alexis, I do understand it a little. I remember Carly and the nursery after we lost our son. So I kind of get it. You pack everything away hoping you've closed the door, but it always stays with you."
Alexis lies back and closes her eyes. "Yea. It does. I just don't want to talk about it right now."
He watches her finally at rest and waits for her nonsensical utterances she always manages to dig up from her unconscious before she fades. After minutes of nothing, he decides to save himself useless searching and check the table one more time for the book. He notices the letter unfolded under Kristina's writing pad.
"How did she get my letter?" His heart pulsates and his brain fills with questions of what she might know.
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Since that day of choices that changed her life, every now and then she'd have flashes of light that flickered in her head. Some of them second thoughts and other times just plain guilt. Kevin typically called them warning signs. Sometimes she ignored them and other times they kept her awake and breathing almost too quickly to keep up with the speed of light.
She tries not to stir in her slumber. She ignores those warnings from Kevin despite the flickering spherical lights spinning to the point of nausea. Her body grows warm but a rupture of air hovers over her.
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