Chapter 10

Sam wrapped his hands around the back of his head as he rose to his feet and paced a few feet around the small room. God, he was restless. He needed something to take his mind off it. The things that didn't make sense right now. He needed...information...help...something to help him hold the fractured picture together in his head.

Sam turned back around slowly letting out a long sigh as he looked over Dean's form stretched out on the bed. It had been three days and Sam felt like he was back at square one - at the hospital trying to figure out - to rethink life as he knew it. Trying to piece together the bits of the story that Dean had fed him.

So much had happened...so much even after they had gotten to Washington and then to the Foci command building to meet Nessa and Dean and Bobby. There was a whole world here that Sam never knew existed and it would have been astounding to delve into had Sam been able to think about anything aside from his brothers health.

The healers had already been to see Bobby and Ben and both were right as rain now. Dean though...he was a whole other story. They had near passed out when they'd try to lay hands on him and then were confused that they could do nothing for him. Dean had languished in a restless fever induced sleep and his wounds dressed and redressed...antibiotics pumped through his system and pain killers...and he hadn't woken up even once.

Sam sat back down in his chair beside Dean's bed and then quickly got back to his feet. He couldn't sit still. "Going for some breakfast - you want anything?" Bobby stopped in the doorway and paid Dean a long glance before turning his gaze on Sam. "He doing any better?"

"No change." Sam replied rubbing at his eyes. "I'll take a coffee." Sam finally whispered out.

"You'll take a plate of food and a coffee and some sleep later." Bobby corrected him. "And I'm not taking no for an answer on that."

"Bobby..."

"Sam, you haven't slept in days." Bobby replied easily. "And I doubt you've left this room either...but food is not optional."

"Fine." Sam nodded. A moment later he let out another breath and met Bobby's eyes. "Thanks, Bobby." Bobby nodded slowly and let his gaze settle on Dean again. "He's been talking in his sleep again."

"Anything that makes sense?" Bobby shifted his stance in the doorway as a group of robed figures skirted past him.

"Not really...sometimes it almost does." Sam sank back into the chair again.

"I'll be back in a bit with you're food and coffee." Bobby gave him a sad smile. "Why don't you close your eyes for a bit."
"I can't." Sam leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees pulling his head up to look to Bobby. "He might wake up."

Bobby nodded again and then slapped the doorframe with his hand. "I'll be back soon."

Sam sighed as he sank backwards in the chair and watched Dean's chest rise and fall as his brother shifted again. He'd almost thought he was waking had he not been watching Dean turn over in the bed repeatedly. Dean turned all the way over onto his stomach and Sam moved as he accidently knocked the blanket off his upper body as his arm slid from the bed and swung against the floor his fingers barely grazing the wooden surface.

Dean was shirtless really only in his boxers as they had been trying to get his temperature down. He was wrapped up with so much bandaging, to hold him together and his left arm was broken in two places. Sam reached over and began to pull the blankets back into place around Dean.

He had just gotten them all sorted out when Dean jumped and managed to spin all the way under the covers and still got a hold of Sam by the throat with his good hand. Sam went still instantly trying to still the impulse to fight back. It took Dean a few seconds to realize that he had his brother by the throat and he quickly released him falling back to the bed winded. "Sorry." Dean gasped out.

"Hell of a good morning." Sam chuckled lightly.

"How long..." Dean started as he tried to catch his breath. Sam narrowed his eyes as Dean started tossing the covers back looking for his clothes as if he were going to go somewhere.

"How long what?" Sam pressed a hand on Dean's chest and shoved him back into the bed. He wasn't about to let Dean get up right now...not this time. Dean looked a bit wide eyed as he swatted the hand off his chest but fell back winded. "How long have you been asleep? - Four days. How long have you been dodging my questions? - Since you came back from the future. How long have I been worried to hell and back?"

"Sam..."

"No Dean...you're laying your ass in that bed and you're not getting up until they doctors here say you can...and you're going to rest and we're going to have a long talk when you feel better so that you quit trying to take on the whole goddamn world by yourself." Sam cut him off and then as Dean stared at him mouth gapping open Sam readjusted the blankets again.

Sam sank back into his chair and let his head fall into his hands the two of them shrouded in a long moment of silence before he pushed himself back and looked to his brother fighting off tears of relief and frustration. "I'm glad you're awake."

Dean looked Sam in the eye thoughtfully still looking shaken and startled from the response his little brother had given him. "I didn't notice." He whispered.

"Don't..." Sam said softly with a shake of his head.

"Don't what, Sam?" Dean replied looking even more confused.

"Sarcasm and tossing it off with humor is the last thing I want to hear right now." Sam retorted.

"Might need to get ready for disappointment." Dean smirked a bit as he finally felt the chill to the air and wrapped the blanket around him tighter. "Wanna give me the run down here?" Dean motioned around the room knowing immediately where they were.

"I'll give you the run down after you tell me the whole story...without leaving anything out." Sam got up and walked to the door shutting it and turning the lock into place. He turned slowly folding his arms across his chest as he looked to Dean for some answers.

"Man give a guy a break I just woke up." Dean chuckled nervously.

"Dean, come on..."

"Ok, ok, ok...but look sit down. Alright? Seriously you can't stand up for the whole thing." Dean finally replied. Sam nodded and made his way back over. Dean looked to the door feeling trapped. It was his brother after all and while it should have been easy to tell him this...it wasn't. Dean closed his eyes and wiped at his face settling back against the pillow. "You know a lot of it. We picked Ambre up - we all had gods inside us. We all had powers that we didn't know how to use." Dean started softly. The first night though, we went to get some food...stopped in the middle of the road when this girl comes screaming out of her house with a whole bunch of bikers running behind her. She was near beat to death. They killed her boyfriend. She watched him die. We got her to the hospital after a pretty tense chase."

"Ambre." Sam asked softly and he watched the play of emotions that crossed Dean's face as he nodded. "So then Shay..."

"Was dead." Dean confirmed. Sam nodded feeling his heart sinking. "She had to go in for some pretty heavy surgery and we were at the hospital...waiting. You could feel the bad guys coming a mile away. They made their second attempt there. And stabbed you. I went to check on Ambre while you were in recovery and I found out what my abilities would let me do. I healed her. We went to get you and I healed you and she figured out that she could start fires and we had to run before we could even process that - I mean these guys were everywhere. They were hitting hard and fast."

"This still the first night?" Sam asked in awe. Dean nodded again.

"We got attacked trying to leave the parking lot. You were hurt bad again and by then I'd found out that I could suck life out as well as give it back and I almost killed you trying to heal you. We met up with Nessa soon after as she finally decided to let us know that she was on our side and led us to a place where we could get you all healed up. It was this Amish farmstead that was some cover for the foci."
"Amish..." Sam asked in confusion.

"It gets better...they had this whole underground compound. Nessa was having weapons flippin' heliported in. I finally was able to heal you after one of the healers killed himself trying to do it. I actually brought you back to life." Dean met his brothers eyes and looked away quickly licking at his lips as his voice broke off tearily.

Sam moved to get Dean a glass of water and handed it back to him as the silence left them both trying to deal with the story so far. Dean took a long drink and placed the glass on the table. "I passed out...I guess I wasn't used to resurrecting people. And this army marched on the place...those thing in the parking lot at the hotel...a whole army of them. By the time I woke up Nessa had tried to make an escape and she...left Ambre." Dean swallowed hard. "You have to understand she thought she was dead...we all did. Ambre had been wrenched back into the midst of the Chain devils and was sporting a huge amount of white phosphorus grenades when her power activated - you know - fire. Blew a crater in the earth...this huge..." Dean broke off again. "I told Ness we were going back - to see. To make sure. And we found her. It near broke her. She started having nightmares. I mean..." Dean blinked back the tears God he wasn't going to give it away. Not now. "She had nightmares." He repeated in a whisper.

"And what happened then?" Sam whispered right on back.

"She didn't want to sleep alone." Dean looked to his hands folded out across the blankets now.

Silence followed for a long time.

"You slept with her." Sam finally found his voice and the courage to say it.

Dean didn't say a word but he slowly began to nod.

"And?" Sam needed him to keep going. This was a lot of what Dean left out, but Sam knew there was so much left that he wasn't saying.

"And nothing." Dean sniffed back the tears his walls coming back up. "Sammy, some things I have to get to on my own and now isn't the rest of the story kind of time."

"Like hell it's not." Sam replied defiantly. "Dean you can't keep dancing around this...come on...please..."

"She got pregnant." Dean wasn't even looking at him now...wasn't about to. "And I had to kill her and bring her back so that she didn't kill all of us." Dean said knowing that there was so much explaining that he had to do to make that make sense. "And then one of the gods sped up the delivery and I swear by the time I was wrenched up to that roof top I was a father...and I sacrificed all of you...I..."

Sam was so quiet as Dean's tears finally got the better of him. It was a good twenty minutes before Sam broached the silence. "You said we were all going to die...that's why you made the deal. You never said..."

"You think that's the worst of it." Dean scoffed. "You can't just excuse away me letting my little girl fade into nonexsistence, alright. Nessa went to hell taking down the yellow eyed demon and by God she clawed her way back out with Dad. Ok..." Dean wasn't even sure that would cinch it up for Sam. "They were dead by the time I made the deal. Things were moving so fast I didn't even get a chance to really talk to him."

"Dad was there?" Sam breathed as he wiped a hand across his face. Good God, Dean was describing a whole life time of pain that no one understood. Sam couldn't even imagine half of what his brother was talking about.

"Yeah...Til some chain devil cut into him on the front lines...You can't possibly understand all of this. I mean I can tell you about it all day long...but I mean."

"I get it Dean...death destruction pain loss...all on some insane repeat cycle." Sam whispered. Dean nodded solemnly.

"I hoped her life would be easier this way...all of ours...I was wrong." Dean whispered.