Hey lovely readers, sorry I have taken so long to update once again! I've been out of the mood to write, but I still have not forgotten you all. To answer your question WelshGalBeth you are very attentive :] Yes, I did get that part off of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and there is actually one line in this chapter that the Joker says that is in Buffy as well. Maybe you will recognize it too! :D Sometimes these things just fit! Haha
Anyways, I hope you all enjoy the chapter!
"Your face it haunts,
My once pleasent dreams,
Your voice it chased away,
All the sanity in me."
Chapter 13
Afraid To Say My Name
Just after a few more days, Rachel was released from the hospital exactly as the nurse had so vividly informed her. She was happy to finally get out, for it seemed to feel like she would never be able to leave. Rachel feared that her surreal dreams had tainted her to the point where she felt like she were going to go insane, and the only way to escape them were to depart from the hospital. However, Rachel wasn't going home just yet. Bruce had explained to her that he wanted her to go straight to his penthouse, and that he'd be picking her up. He seemed very casual when he told her, but Rachel knew he was trying his hardest to be very discreet about the surprise, and hoping possibly that she had of forgotten about it. She went along with it of course.
"Good to see you out, Rachel," Bruce grinned as he greeted her with a hug just outside the doors of the hospital. Rachel couldn't help but noticed how well dressed he had looked this evening.
"It's good to be out, especially when I no longer need to wear anymore nightgowns" Rachel chuckled as he showed her to the car. "Thank you for picking me up."
"It was no problem, in fact, it was my pleasure," Bruce replied as he unlocked and opened the passenger car door.
Rachel was hesitant for a moment, but then finally ducked her head and slide unto the leather seat. It was ironic to her that she was going back into one of these dangerous machines that only just got her into an accident almost a month ago. She quickly buckled the seatbelt over her as Bruce began to climb in on the other side.
"How much damage was done to my car?" Rachel blurted out, though she was unsure if she really wanted to hear the answer.
Bruce kept silent for a moment as he turned the engine on and began to back out of the parking spot. "It took a lot of damage, but don't fret. I've taken care of it."
Rachel watched a smile crease his face as he took a quick glance at her, then back at the road. "What do you mean you've taken care of it?"
Bruce took a another glance at Rachel, who's eyes squinted in curiosity. "Let's just say it's back to its original state in the underground parking lot of your apartment building, and leave it at that."
"Bruce!" Rachel yelled softly, "You know full well I can't just 'leave it at that.'"
"I know, I know," his smile remained on his face, "but I wanted to do this. It's my apology to you for being a jerk, better yet an ass, to you lately. Please, will you accept it?"
Rachel let out a side smirk and gave in, "Alright Bruce Wayne, I accept. Thank you."
"Don't thank me, it's something I wanted to do," Bruce said reassuringly.
It didn't take long before they reached their destination. They entered silently inside, and into the elevator. Rachel had wondered what was next. The car itself seemed like the best surprise he could have given her, but it appeared to Bruce that it was not the case. Rachel's heart took a few leaps. She loved surprises, and holding her excitement was unbearable. Rachel watched as each number above the elevator door lit up, then faded onto the next number. Why does he have to live in the penthouse, the top floor of all places! Rachel thought. She tried her best to keep her mind clear of the Joker, and the wonderment of surprise seemed to do just that. Finally, a ding had happily rung out inside the elevator, leaving them both aware that they had reached the top floor.
Bruce reached for his keys in his coats pocket, and began to unlock the front door. Rachel held her tongue as she peered inside his penthouse. The lights were on, and everything had remained silent. They walked inside, and all Bruce had held was a very large grin.
"What's going on?" Rachel asked with a slight chuckle.
Before Bruce could open his mouth to speak, a crowd of people popped out of their hiding places, all with such wide grins, yelling out "surprise!" which nearly knocked Rachel off of her feet from statement. She had noticed many familiar faces, that being Jim Gordon, Alfred, and many others from her work, including the Mayor. Rachel beamed with happiness as she looked cheekishly at Bruce out of the corner of her eye.
"I thought I'd set up a small welcome back party," Bruce said with the ridiculous grin still glued on his face.
Rachel paused for a moment in silence as she held a smile upon her lips. Bruce never ceased to amaze her, and even after a few seconds in thought, he could not escape her mind. Something came over Rachel, and she realized how absurd everything had become. Here she had the best man she could ask for, and she was turning him down. For what? For an insane madman? Rachel was crazed.
"What is it?" Bruce chuckled, his heart leaped in excitement.
Rachel shook her head as she felt her cheeks begin to warm up in embarrassment. "It's nothing, I'm just…happy," She said softly.
With that Rachel walked past Bruce towards her crowd of friends, his eyes remaining on Rachel; curious, yet satisfied.
The party had lasted for only a few hours before Rachel had began to grow tired. Everyone left with a wave and goodbye, and within a good ten minutes the only thing that remained from their presence was the half eaten food on the table and the empty wine glasses. The music was now turned off, and Rachel found herself dozing on the couch.
"I guess I better take you home Rachel," A voice spoke.
Rachel sat up slowly and opened her eyes to reveal Bruce's somewhat blurry face. She rubbed her eyes and nodded in agreement. Bruce took her to the car, and it didn't take long before Rachel felt herself falling back to sleep once again in the passenger seat.
"We're here," Bruce whispered as he nudged Rachel to wake up.
"I'm sorry I fell asleep," Rachel groaned with a slight smile, "I don't know why I'm so tired."
Bruce returned the smile happily, "You don't need to apologize, and you just need your rest." Without another word he stepped out of his car and walked over to Rachel's door and opened it.
"That wasn't necessary," Rachel laughed as she exited the vehicle. She didn't like so much attention and to be treated like she were someone important.
"Don't worry about what's necessary, now come on." Bruce wrapped his arm around Rachel's shoulder and began bringing her into the building. She wondered what was going on in his mind, but it seemed as though he was being careful with how to act around her. Rachel was glad to see he wasn't trying to win her heart once again with words, but this time with his actions.
"Well, I guess this is where we part," Bruce spoke as Rachel began to unlock her door.
Rachel turned around to meet his eyes, "I guess it is."
Bruce nodded. "Goodnight Rachel," he said quickly to avoid any unwelcome silences. Without understanding why, Rachel gave him a small peck on the cheek. With that he squeezed her hand and turned around, making his way down the hallway; leaving only the smell of cologne in his wake. Rachel smiled and bit her lip before she finally entered her apartment. It was dark and cold, so she hurriedly turned the lights and the heat register on. As Rachel turned to face the living room, she became startled, and gasped with shock by the tall, gloomy-like figure that stood before her.
"Oh, I'm sorry; did I frighten you Miss Dawes?" The Joker spoke coldly, and his facial expression showed no normal signs of amusement.
Rachel's eyebrows knitted in frustration, "What are you doing here?"
"Well that's no way to welcome a house guest," He replied still in the same tone of voice, now biting the inside of his mouth.
Rachel began to retort in anger, but she had finally realized that something was wrong, and she really had become frightened. He kept still in his stance, not moving a muscle.
"Have nothing to say? That's surprising," The Joker continued. "And to answer your so called question as to what I am doing here, let me remind you that it was your idea, not mine, to visit you when you were out of the, uh, hospital."
"Right, well, I've changed my mind," Rachel stammered, "I'm tired, and I'd like to sleep, without you just coming into my house whenever you like."
The Joker chucked and shook his head, "I get it, I get it. It's batsy that's got you all tied up in knots."
Rachel scoffed, "That is none of your business."
"Of course it's not, besides, I wouldn't want to know your…" The Joker gave a disgusted look and licked his lips, "…business."
Rachel paused for a moment in thought, "Are you…jealous?"
The Joker burst out into laugher, "Don't be so sure of yourself beautiful, I have to many things going on to be jealous over a bat."
"But you have time for me?" Rachel asked confused.
"I'll always have time if there is a sack involve-d," The Joker smirked.
"And you think I'm disgusting," Rachel snarled, "Get out."
"Don't see how having an attitude will help me leave," The Joker chuckled as he walked over to the kitchen table and sat down, "Then again, if you want me to leave, you could always wrap your arms around my hot, tight body and make me," He smiled, not taking his eyes off her.
"You're sick," Rachel was getting riled up, but the only problem was the Joker had been enjoying every minute of it.
"I'm sick? And what's your excuse?" The Joker laughed, "Here you play as an innocent assistant DA, but really, I know where you get your kicks. And those people out there," The Joker points out the window, "they have no idea that poor innocent Miss Dawes is standing here talking with the main criminal of Gotham, without saying a word to anyone. We've all got something to hide, and really, Miss Dawes, if anyone is sick, it's you." The Joker licked his lips, "At least I can admit that I'm sick," He finished with a lowered tone.
Rachel stood there in silence. She wanted to tell him off, but what good would it do? He always had something else to say. Besides, the horrible truth was that he was right.
The Joker patted his hand on the table, "Sit down."
Rachel hesitated for a moment, but ended up walking over to the table and doing what he said. He is the one with the knives in his pocket anyway, it was best to do what he said.
"You're one confusing man Joker. I can never seem to understand you," Rachel chuckled as she looked away to the window. She was not amused, and if anything her laughs were only filled with sarcasm.
The Joker shook his head and pushed his curly green hair out of his face, "Good, I'd like to keep it that way. Besides, if thee, uh, human mind were…simple…enough to understand," He clenched a fist in front of his mouth to clear his throat, "We'd be too simple toooo…understand i-t, Miss. Dawes." The Joker's head was dropped but he kept his eyes on Rachel. He then turned his head at the wall which seemed more interesting at the moment. She was relieved that he had now seemed more like himself once again,
Rachel looked back at the Joker. The awkward silence was getting annoying. He kept his hands under the table, but with the slight movement of his arms she knew he was fiddling his thumbs. "Have you ever been afraid?" She asked, not really caring why, just so the quietness between them would disappear.
Without warning, the Joker tilted his head back in laughter. It was so fast that Rachel had thought that it might have caused whiplash. It was only a few seconds until he looked forward again, and his laughs ended in a complete stop.
"No, no I have no-t," The Joker said as he smacked his lips and then bit the inside of his cheek.
As he spoke his words his eyes trailed off to the left, then back at her. She knew then that it was possible he was lying, but Rachel let it go. Being one that questions many people from past experiences does have its usages.
"Huh, really?" Rachel spoke in a non-believing tone, "Then why are you afraid to say my name?"
The Joker tilted his head to the right. His mind spun around like a hurricane trying to remember anytime he's called her Rachel and not Miss. Dawes or "beautiful." He became angry as he could not think of any. The Joker didn't like Rachel winning, but thought of something to say.
The Joker blinked hard in annoyance as he scratched the back of his head, "Hmm, good question. Since you've brought it up, it is, uh, appropriate now to say that I've never liked your, "so called name." The Joker air quoted, "Don't be too offended beautiful," He smirked; proud of himself.
Rachel nodded, "Okay, not everyone has to like it, I myself don't like calling you Joker but you've given me no choice," Rachel grinned back daringly, "but since you're not afraid, can I hear you say it at least once?"
The Joker gave her a sour look, "I don't need to, uh, listen to you…Miss Dawes," He said her last name very quickly as if he just thought to add it in to annoy her. "Remember our last little…conversation? I don't take orders from othherr people."
"Fine," Rachel shrugged as she stood up and walked into her kitchen; the Joker's eyes followed her movement, "It just proves to me that you really are afraid."
The Joker burst out of his seat and pointed his finger at Rachel, "I'm not. I am not afraid to say your name!" He roared in anger.
Rachel spun around in shock as she watched the Joker stride towards her. For something so small he beamed with fury, but why? Rachel backed a few feet away and thought that the only way to get through with him was to persist.
"Then say it!" Rachel yelled. She didn't care if the Joker was going to hurt her, she was just so curious and mystified as to why he just would not say her name.
As soon as the Joker reached her he took his right hand and wrapped his fingers around Rachel's neck. He looked up to the ceiling then back down at her who struggled within his grasp. She knew she couldn't give up, she wanted so badly to hear him say her name.
"Say my name!" Rachel choked.
"I'm not going to say-" The Joker started to yell but Rachel was quick to interrupt him.
"Just do it!"
"Fine. Rachel! You happy?" The Joker gritted his teeth as he stared down at her; ruthlessly letting go of her neck.
Rachel rubbed the area where the Joker's hand had laid. She looked up at him, taking deep breaths. She was relieved that he finally had said her name. Rachel expected the Joker to walk away in anger, but he only stood there, one foot away from her.
"Yes, I am happy." Rachel stated frustratingly, still trying to catch her breath.
Suddenly without warning the Joker grabbed her again, but this time he wrapped his right arm around her waste and pulled her to him.
"What are you doing?!" Rachel yelled as she pounded at his chest to push him away, only he didn't budge. Instead he pushed her against the fridge, leaning his body up on hers. The sound of glass jars rattling filled their ears for a few moments. Their faces were only and inch away, and Rachel stopped beating him with her arms. Not like she couldn't anyway; they were stuck between her body and the Joker's. Rachel's heart began to beat rapidly in her chest, so hard that she didn't have any doubt that the Joker could feel it too. She found herself unwillingly relax in his arms, and the Joker took this as a good sign. Rachel expected him to kiss her hard on the lips like he did before, but this time that was not the case.
The Joker moved his lips towards her, feeling her breath upon his face. Yes, he despised Rachel Dawes, but a part of him wanted to taste this hatred, to be in front row seats. Slowly he tilted his head and moved into a kiss, and Rachel accepted, running her tongue over her lips to make them moist. The kiss started out as small pecks, until the Joker opened his mouth slightly, placing them gently onto hers. Rachel placed her left hand on the Joker's painted cheek as she kissed his upper lip. She pulled away for a short breath until the Joker pulled her in again. He kept his hands tight on her waste. Rachel found herself lifting her right leg up slowly and wrapping it around his.
Rachel wanted nothing more but to pull him away, however his charms overpowered her. Every nerve in her body made her weak. Rachel enjoyed this kiss; in fact she couldn't recall ever having a better one. Her thoughts moved to Bruce then, and she quickly pushed the Joker away. He gave out a laugh.
"I can't believe I just did that!" Rachel yelled to herself as she wiped away any essence of the Joker's lips on hers.
"Oh, I can believe it," The Joker smirked, "Well, I'm sure you'll be sad to hear that I have a busy night tonight, so I can't stay."
"Very sad," Rachel said sarcastically, then realized what he had just said, "Wait, plans? What plans?"
The Joker smirked and grabbed her chin between his thumb and index finger, shaking her head form left to right, "Don't worry beautiful, it's poker with the goons tonight, I hope you're not toooo disappointed."
Rachel sighed with relief, and with that the Joker left quickly out of the fire escape, leaving the cold air to breeze through the window and onto her skin. She ran towards the window and locked it up, only realizing once again how tired she was. Rachel turned off the lights and went straight to her bedroom. As she started to walk towards her closet, something on her bed had caught her eye. Rachel spun around quickly to face it, noticing a round, black and red box sitting on her pillow. She raced towards it and picked it up, knowing full well that it had looked like a box of chocolates. Rachel slowly opened the lid, and by her hypothesis she was right. There sat at least ten neatly placed dark chocolates that waited to be eaten. Rachel shook her head in bewilderment, believing that if it were even possible it was from the Joker they would be filled with poison. She looked back down at the pillow and noticed a small card sitting there. With a free hand she picked it up and opened it. Surprisingly, in some very messy handwriting, the same handwriting that she had seen sometime before, read: Glad to see you are well again.