December 9, 2005
Good Morning Bensonhurst
Kevin paces back and forth between his desk and the door adding fuel to the fire of Lucy's headache from observing him from his desk chair.
"I'm shocked that she didn't call me." Kevin slams Alexis' file down onto his desk.
"Doc, what did you do to her?" Lucy questions knowing Kevin's knack for making Alexis squirm.
"Nothing." He throws back without missing a minute's pace.
Lucy prods his agitated state. "You miss her don't you?"
"Maybe just a little."
"He hasn't even called me to ask how I'm doing. No fruit basket. No free medication samples. What kind of psychiatrist is he!" Alexis questions Stefan with a seriousness in her eyes that keeps him from breaking out in a smile at her expense.
"What did you do to him?" He tries to hold back the cynicism.
Alexis' jaw hits the ground. "What did I do to him! Why do you assume I did something to him?"
"It was just a suggestion. Why don't you find another shrink? I don't really understand the concept of psychiatry anyway. We were born screwed up. Nothing can fix that."
Lucy continues to pry. "Doc, isn't it bad when one of your patients has a nervous breakdown?"
"It's her own fault Lucy. She left me before the breakdown so it doesn't count."
Lucy shakes her head unconvinced. "Ok Doc. Whatever."
Alexis sits down across from Stefan to continue her point. "Kevin understands me. He's like a really great gay man."
Stefan tries to follow her logic by staring her deep in the eyes and seeming intrigued. "But Kevin's married to Lucy."
"Stefan, I can't explain it. But I know I'd have no problem kicking his ass out of bed. I could never love him like that. He wouldn't even get through the bedroom door."
Stefan thinks for a moment and smiles. "Remember when you told me you could never kick me out of bed? Was that the connotation of your statement? Something of a sexual nature?"
Alexis gasps and grabs her heart. "I think it was Natasha that made that comment. She's down with incest. Not me."
Lois looks up briefly from her final revision of the script. She hears Sonny enter the studio and acknowledges him with a wave before going back to her work. Sonny grips his hands together ready to beg. "I need a huge favor Lois."
"No." She doesn't bat an eye behind her rejection.
He drums up ammo for round two of begging. "Why not? You'll love it."
Lois looks at him knowing the meaning behind those words. "Remember the last time you said that to me Sonny Corinthos?"
Sonny thinks back for a moment and snaps back to reality shrugging his shoulders in confusion. "You're gonna have to jog my memory."
Lois stands up and pulls out the finger of emotion. The one that controls all body motion namely the angry head slinging with the grace of an Italian diva.
"Ok. I will. Remember junior high school? During recess. Your exact words to me, Lois Cerullo, were, maybe not exact but an exact replication, 'Lois do me a favor and lift up your shirt because you're gonna love it.' Next thing you know, bada bing! I, Lois Cerullo, was suspended from school for a week and grounded for a month and forced to eat Momma Cass' beets on Sundays. How many Italian women do you know that make beets more or less eat them? I'm not bitter at all."
"I couldn't tell." Sonny pulls himself back avoiding the wrath of the finger. "Listen Lois. It's simple. I just want some airtime on Good Morning Bensonhurst. That's all."
Lois throws her hands on her hips surprised that he'd ask such a thing. "What do you want to say? I don't want anybody shooting up my studio afterwards."
He stuffs his hands in his pockets and starts to blush. "I'm a romantic. Let's put it that way."
Stefan makes himself more comfortable in her living room. She steps out of her kitchen with a steaming hot mug cradled in her sleeved hands. She sits down next to him and crosses her legs bundling herself up more in her sweater before offering him some of what's in her mug. "Coffee singed with Amaretto?"
He refuses it with a shake of his head. "Not my kind of drink. But thank you for your hospitality."
"Stefan, are you insulting my coffee without actually insulting my coffee?"
He grins. "In the most sophisticated way possible."
"Can you tell that I'm avoiding all of the questions that I know are running through your head?"
"Alexis, with you, I've learned not to ask questions. But then I think maybe if I did, I'd really understand your pain. I guess since the Russian side of us always seems to shine through, I rarely notice your true feelings. I become immune to human nature. I admit I sometimes forget what it means to have a sister."
"You got that off of a greeting card." Alexis, smitten over his handsome features, blushes at Stefan and tries to cover her face with her mug. The mutual tension between the two transmits across the steam from Alexis' coffee.
Stefan breaks the moment and changes the subject. "So where does Sonny live?"
"In a Spiderman tent."
He catches himself from laughing. "You're joking."
"Don't ask. Seriously. The man is nuttier than me yet I'm the one taking monthly trips to the psych ward."
"It's called his lack of conscious. He feels nothing. No pain. No love. Therefore whatever happened means nothing to him."
Sonny falls to his knees for another round of begging. Lois continues to ignore him in her rush to finish up her schedule.
"Five minute Lois. Five. F-I-V-E." Sonny emphasizes his point by flashing his fingers at Lois.
"Ok. Ok! Chill out. You get two minutes Sonny. Two. T-W-O. I'm cutting you off mid-sentence! So none of that slow, low talking crap!"
Alexis chases the last of her coffee with a tinge of Brandy.
"When did you start drinking Brandy?" Stefan questions.
Alexis raises her glass. "My Dear brother. We have to toast."
He raises his glass to hers. "Toast to?"
"Your very persuasive nature. I'd still be in that godforsaken hospital if it weren't for you."
"I highly doubt that Alexis. You're one of the sanest people that I know."
They click their glasses in quiet celebration, but Alexis puts hers down and walks towards her stereo.
"I almost forgot. Do you care if I turn on the radio? Lois does this show called Good Morning Bensonhurst and she makes us all listen to it. And she quizzes."
"Really? Interesting."
"She's having some shrink on the show today. The genius of love or something like that. I wanna see if I get good vibes from him. I might consider switching."
Kevin tunes in his radio. "Lucy, I'm a little offended that Lois hasn't asked me to be on her radio show."
"It's entertainment Doc. They're not certified. She told me so."
"She's had at least a dozen psychiatrists on there. Certified or not. I'd do it for free."
Just in time for the start of the show, Alexis races out of the kitchen practically stupid with her glass filled to the brim. Stefan furrows his brow.
"Would you slow down Alexis? Should you be mixing that with whatever the doctor has you taking?"
Alexis relaxes on the couch. "Anything to get through Lois' screeching for the hour. I'll share?"
Alexis hands Stefan her glass, but he gives it back. "I trust this is your last. You better sip my Dear."
The engineer signals to Lois.
"Ok. Are we ready to be on the air?" She yells. "Five. Four. Three. Two. Good Morning Benson Hurst! Today's segment is going to be very informative because I have Tom Club on the show who's going to show us how to put a little pep in our step in the romance arena. Speaking of romance..."
Lois stares across the room at Sonny waiting for his signal to go.
"…My good friend Sonny, future Yankee slash underwear model slash Ty Pennington's bitch is here today for TWO minutes of airtime. He's a former mobster. But I swear he's no longer in the business so don't even think about putting bullet holes in my studio or there will be hell to pay!"
The engineer gives Lois the signal to cut her ranting. Alexis rises up from the couch in a trance gripping tight onto her glass.
Lois continues. "What do you want to say Sonny? Go for it. The airwaves are yours now…"
Everything inside of Sonny immediately goes blank. Kevin throws his hands on his face beet-red with embarrassment. Lucy pokes Kevin in the arm.
"What do you think he's gonna say Doc?"
"I don't know. Hell I don't wanna know. Alexis probably told him to kill me so he's threatening my ass on the air. Just be ready to drive me to the airport."
Alexis moves in closer to the radio with baited breath practically able to hear Sonny's nervous breathing. Lois taps her fingers on the counter and tries not to blow a fuse from Sonny's frozen stare into the microphone.
"Sonny! Two minutes! Get on it!" Lois shouts at him from across the room.
He wakes up and grabs the microphone. "Lois, I think I love you and I was just wondering if you'd go out with me."
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For Alexis, the world stops for a long minute; until the snifter holding what was left of her Brandy crumbles in her hand. Stefan hurries over to her after noticing the blood escaping her palm from the cutting glass.
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Kevin kicks back in his chair in relief, but Lucy looks at him astonished by what she heard.
"Doc, did Sonny just ask Lois out on the air?"
Kevin nods. "I just thank God I'm going to live and I might have just scored my favorite patient back. I thoroughly enjoy other people's insanity."