Disclaimer: I own none of the characters used within.

Now things start to get rolling a bit plot-wise.

The menu was a lot of fun to make. I'm actually rather fond of this chapter in general for some reason... but the second scene feels unfinished.

I realized there's also a shitload of bold.

...

Ch. 4

VASQUEZ PLAZA

Comic Book Shop

Friday, October 4th

4:07 P.M.

"This is perfect," Eddy admired the "menu" Double D made in Microsoft Publisher the night before with instructions from him for ideas for pranks. Double D also helped him gauge the prices. The first place they were putting the menu for potential customers was the comics shop in Vasquez Plaza, the Eds' favorite place in the city. The small collection of shops was known for only having "specialty" shops that mostly sold weird doodads and junk.

REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED NOW

Got somebody who just won't step off? Scared to stand up for yourself or just don't know how? We have your solution! For a reasonable fee, let us do the dirty work while you sit back and enjoy the show!

HERE'S THE MENU:

Chef's Special (unique, specialized rumor) – 15.00

Lemonade (pee in their locker) – 8.00

Water, in a glass or in the bottle (balloons or bucket) – 8.00

Goat Cheese Pizza (goat shit in the face) – 25.00

Garbage Can Nachos – fill their backpack or locker with reputation-ruining little objects dripping with humiliation opportunities! - 25-50.00 (Discuss specifics with server)

Seven Layer Dip – blindfolded, kidnapped, thrown off diving board into pool! Fun and trauma in every part! - 30.00

Egg Salad – egg their house. A teenage classic! – 25.00

Tossed Salad – shred homework, notes, and other paper belongings, return to where they found it. - 12.00 Dioramas, binders 0.75 extra.

Sloppy Joe – skateboard under the target's feet while they carry tray of food. 7.00

Just Desserts – You tell us what they did and we'll make a punishment to fit the crime! And we'll fit a pie in there somewhere. Prices vary.

Cash only.

Eddy's cell phone number was at the bottom. He was about to comment again, but Double D said, "Yes, it's decent for my first time doing menus in that program. Do you like the border?"

Eddy ignored him. He looked over his shoulder to see the obese man behind the desk at the comic book shop studying some glossy, new comic he had with disgust. Just in case, Eddy stepped out of his view behind a rack of colorful superhero posters and tacked their advertisement to his holey bulletin board, which had a few ads for anime conventions and a new arcade.

"We should put this somewhere else," Eddy said. "Like the library or the video game store or other, you know…"

"Stereotypically 'nerdy' locales?"

"Yeah, and then wait for them to take the bait. Since it's the weekend, we can do the prank on Monday."

"I doubt it would happen so quickly."

"How do I not become emo just by hanging around you?"

--

5443 PEACH CREEK CIRCLE

Eddy's Room

Saturday, October 5th

9:40 A.M.

"Ugh, what the hell?!" Eddy fumbled for his cell phone on his end table. The black curtains he had lifted from his brother's room after he departed did a good job of keeping out midmorning light. He finally found his mobile and turned off the Red Hot Chili Peppers ringtone that had woken him up. It was an unfamiliar number. He answered. "Hello?"

"Hi…" the nasally voice said. "Is this the number that posted the ad in the comic book shop for, uh, this?"

"Oh… oh yeah! Yeah, that's me. I mean us. You want to do business with us?"

"Yeah, I'd be interested."

"Cool! Okay, hang on one sec." Eddy got up and opened his curtains, cringed at the light for a full six seconds, then began looking around or a notepad. He found some of his brother's customized stationary (also lifted). He grabbed a cheap black pen – that had no ink. Cue swearing and rummaging around for another pen. Finally, one had ink. "Explain your case to me."

"Well, there's this guy, Francis. He keeps pushing me around, shoving me into lockers and stuff. He does it to other people, too. But he's bigger than us. That's why we don't do anything. And I'm sick of it! I wish he could see how it feels to be humiliated! I don't even need to do it myself. I just want to see it happen."

"That's why you called us! Now, I'll ask you some questions if you don't mind. Name, please?"

"Timmy Turner."

Eddy then asked him a string of questions he had rehearsed in his mind a bit and eventually got Timmy's contact information, more info on Francis, and Timmy's order. He gave Timmy a place to meet him on Monday as he doodled an unhappy-looking stick figure jumping onto a fat guy's head on the piece of paper.

--

5331 PEACH CREEK CIRCLE

Foyer

Saturday, October 5th

10:12 A.M.

"Is Ed here?" Eddy let himself in to Double D's neat two-story.

"Yes, in the kitchen. Would you like something to eat or drink?" Double D asked politely, his words ignored as Eddy made his way into the kitchen. Double D followed. "So, you wanted to talk to us about the business?"

"Yup!" Eddy brandished the post-it holding all the information about Timmy on it. "First customer: Timmy Turner. Has ordered a glass of Lemonade. Will pay us on Monday before we do the prank in the third story, third hallway bathroom. The victim is that freaky gray kid Francis." He opened Double D's refrigerator. Inside were neatly saran-wrapped leftovers, a notable amount of bean products, and an open box of baking soda. Eddy grabbed a fruit-flavored Jones Soda. "I thought you were into diet sodas." He handed one each to Double D and Ed as he sat down.

"I was, but after carefully analyzing the ingredients, I've come to the temporary conclusion that for long term, the artificial sweeteners in the diet soda maybe more harmful than the regular ones in this particular brand, which opts for more pure sugars." He opened it. "And I just don't like the taste of the fake ones."

"Careful, you almost sounded normal there."

"…I'm sure you fancy yourself hilarious."

Ed snickered. "He sounded hornal there."

Eddy laughed out loud. "Get the camera. It's Ed's first attempt at a sex joke."

Ed looked at him, puzzled. "What? Nooo."

"Have you told the girls about this yet?" Double D asked.

Eddy stopped mid-sip. "Huh? Who?"

"Tomo and her friends."

"Oh. Oh. No."

"You have their contact information."

"I don't waaaannnnt toooooo."

"They're already involved, Eddy, there's no turning back now. Besides, I thought we already discussed this. You may as well include them; they may surprise you and be quite beneficial to have around."

"Yehhhh," Eddy sighed and got up to leave. "I have to go have breakfast. Sockhead, I know you've eaten a nice square meal by now. Lumpy, you eat yet?"

Ed shook his head. "I ate… some pillow this morning."

"Come to my place, I'll give you some Chunky Puffs."

Double D stood up as well and went to stand in front of his pantry. "Wait! You can stay here. I have cereal."

"You probably have bran crap, and I know you've got lowfat or no-fat or some kind of weird yuppie milk. We're going to my place, where you can gain a pound per glass, thank you very much."

"I can make you eggs. I have eggs."

"Eggs suck. Later."

They left.

And Double D was alone.

"Ehhh…" he sighed and looked around the kitchen. He had done his dishes and wasn't hungry. There was little weekend homework, which he had of course gotten out of the way Friday. His parents worked late hours throughout the week. His father worked part of Saturday, and his mother worked all of Saturday. They often did various adult recreational things on Sunday, leaving him alone again. He had a hunch they assumed he was occupied by his friends. Which, to be fair, he was, but on quiet mornings like this, he often wondered when was the last time they did something together as a family.

He sat at the table, folded his hands, and pondered it.

Oh, Christmas!

That's not so long ago!