I decided to switch it up again and write entirely from Arizona's point of view for this one. Also, this does not take place during any episode of Grey's Anatomy; it takes place about half a year later after "Blink", episode 6.11. Also, I obviously do not own Kraft Dinner, Kraft does, thank goodness for Kraft. And italics is a dream sequence! So with out any further a due, here it is. Hope you enjoy! =D
Three. You Found Me
"Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me.
Lying on the floor surrounded, surrounded."
You Found Me, The Fray
May 12th, 2010
I'm standing in the hangar. I stare down at my feet. I can't bear to look up. I can feel my nails ripping my skin. I can hear the sound of military issued boots marching down the tarmac and the last post echoing through the hangar. I take a long-needed deep breath and do the unthinkable.
I look up from my classic black Mary Jane flats. My eyes take in the room. My father's arms are wrapped around my sobbing mother's shoulders sheltering her. My eyes are now drawn to the sight of the American flag. The flag is draped over something I have prayed I would never see. My brother's coffin.
My eyes jolt open. Tomorrow is the day I anxiously wait for every year. Ever since three years ago I take the day of from work, sit in my unlit apartment alone, never answer the phone and eat more Kraft Dinner than anyone should be able to, Kraft Dinner was always his favorite. But this year, it's different. This year I don't know what to do.
I lie here in bed with sleeping Calliope's arm loosely wrapped around me, trying to come up with a plan. I've already cleared having the day off with the Chief but other than that I'm lost. I can't climb out of bed as soon as the clock hits twelve as I normally would. I can't because I know when Calliope woke up she'd be terrified.
All I begin to think about is the boxes of Kraft Dinner I have hidden in the bottom of the kitchen cupboard. I have the urge to wake up Calliope and have her make it with it me.
I roll over to face the clock. Its 11:58, I can feel my stomach begin to churn and a cold sweat creep over my body. I slowly release her hold on me and begin my yearly routine without a second thought.
I quickly, but quietly make my way into the bathroom. I manage to shut the door and lift the toilet seat while bringing myself to the floor before emptying my stomach contents into it. I wipe the sweat off my forehead and reminisce from my lips before flushing the toilet.
May 13th 2010
I manage to pull myself off the floor before I look at the clock on the bathroom wall. 12:02. The day was here. I run the cold water and splash it in my face. I place my hands to brace myself on the sink and look into the mirror. Instead of my own face I see his.
I see the buzz cut hair the identical shade as my own. I'm looking into chocolate brown eyes rather than my own light blue eyes staring back. The small freckles across the bridge of my nose are gone; they're replaced by a permanent tan line from sunglasses. I look away from the mirror, I can't bring myself to continue looking at his face and comparing it to my own. I take a deep breath just as I did that day in the hangar and walk away from the mirror, never looking back.
I'm ripping open unopened boxes of my things. I'm wiping away the tears that are streaming down my face as I pull out numerous family albums. Before I know it I'm lying on the living room floor with pictures of him surrounding me; my third bowl of Kraft Dinner in placed on the coffee. I'm not even trying to stop the tears anymore. I've given up.
I hear Calliope wake with a start. "Ari?" I can barely hear her hushed voice. I don't speak, instead the sobs start. "Arizona?"
I hear her get up out of bed, my sobs get uncontrollably get louder. I hear her pace quicken. As she appears in the doorway I turn away from her. I can't bring myself to look her in the eye.
"Arizona, it's okay." I watch her move some of the photos from behind me. I feel her lie down next to me, snaking her arm around my waist.
"Calliope, I" are the only words I get out of my mouth before she shushes me. I can feel her breath on my neck; which causes me to become calmer and my sobbing to stop. "No, I need to say this."
"Okay, honey. Let it all out." her voice is patient and honest as she starts playing with my hair to soothe me.
"Calliope, I wanted to say thank you." I pause and take another deep breath. "You took the time to look for me, the real me. You've found the self I used to know, the Arizona I was before everything happened. You've made me myself again. I'm so thankful that you're the one who found me. You're there for me when I don't even know I need you, but you know I do."
I take a breath as I take her hand in my own interlocking our fingers. I reach out for the 70's style photo album and pull it close to me. I flip to the third page, pulling out my favorite picture of Calliope and I. It was the photo she took of us together on my birthday last year. She was wearing a silly party hat on head with a goofy smile on her face to match. I quickly hand her the photo and cover the slot where it just was.
"Do you know why this is my favorite picture of us?" I ask her, my voice ringing with sincerity.
"I have no idea, why?" I can feel her shake her head as she answers.
"It's because this is the day that I realized that I didn't want to spend my life with anyone but you." I can hear her breath hitch, causing a wide smile for spread across my face.
I slip my fingers back into the photo slot and pull out the most important purchase I've ever made. A gold ring decorated with a diamond between two sapphires.
"I want today to be a day that I remember for more than what happened three years ago. I want today to be the day I remember as one of the happiest days of my life. Marry me."
With those words I can start to feel Calliope's tears seep through the shoulder of my shirt. Before I know it my head is echoing with of one the best words of the English language, "Yes."
Now, I hope all of you enjoyed that! And on a somewhat of a sad note, this will be my last update possibly until next weekend. I have exams all next week and I really need to buckle down and study. But you never know I might just upload one more if I get enough inspiration. 'Til then!
~ Color!