Disclaimer: I own none of the cartoons used within.

First and second scenes - third person point of view. The rest are in Eddy's.

MIYAZAKI HIGH SCHOOL

Cafeteria

Friday, October 18th

12:10 P.M.

"This must be precisely done," Double D said. "So please keep talking to a minimum." He had a skateboard that he was positioning just right. Eddy would occasionally peek out from under the counters of the lunch line. It was fairly dark and cramped, enough that they hadn't been spotted despite Eddy's peeks, but not so much that they couldn't move.

"Not talking," Eddy couldn't resist. "Done talking. I won't talk anymore. Total silence." Double D shot him an attempt at a dirty look, which usually was sufficient entertainment to get Eddy to stop. Ed was being kept entertained by inspecting a frozen corn dog and trying to figure out the best way to eat it despite its hardness. Ed was always kept with them, for muscle in the event of a worst-case scenario.

Eddy stopped smirking to say, "Oh shit, wait, sorry, he's actually coming. Black boots, faded jeans. See him. See? Shit, he got his food fast!"

"Which one? That one-"

"The boots I said! Hurry! He's out of line! Ooh, he's got so much food with him-"

Double D gave the skateboard a hard shove out from under the counter. People still hadn't taken much notice of it. Until it slid under William's mobile feet and caused him to fall all the way back. Corn, a cookie, and spaghetti went flying. A brightly colored energy drink soaked William's shirt (which was, sadly, black). The tough-looking half-goth got up and brushed himself off, looking more confused than pissed.

Eddy was laughing, trying to silence himself, but managed to say "… Run for it!" He grabbed Double D and Ed and they ran off, not able to see William's semi-girlfriend Yumi get up to help him clean up, trying to quell her laughter, as Ulrich and everyone else in the cafeteria cracked up. William gave the skateboard a long look and then glanced around the cafeteria, as if looking for someone. He kicked it and it went whizzing off somewhere.

The Eds ran behind appliances, stoves, countertops, into the kitchen, around lunch ladies and out the kitchen back door to where the dumpsters were so they were free to laugh.

Double D stopped first. "Wait. Whose skateboard was that?"

"No one we knew. I found it in my garage."

"I wonder what conclusion William will come to."

Eddy waved it away. "Someone else's problem."

Ed was the only one still laughing.

---

MIYAZAKI HIGH SCHOOL

Girls' Locker Room

Friday, October 18th

7:01 P.M.

"I wonder what it's like to be a cheerleader that doesn't quite fit in with the other cheerleaders," Tomo wondered from one side of the locker room.

"And yet be even cooler for it," Yomi replied.

She and Tomo had walked into the locker room like it was perfectly normal to do so after most people were gone and you weren't on a sports team. Now they were milling around where their lockers were when they were in gym class. They were being totally ignored by the cheerleaders, who were all in a spirited little bunch on one side of the class, getting nice and peppy and glittery for the football game that night. Kim Possible, at the center of it, was happily gossiping with the other girls about what had happened to her ex Josh Mankey. Blackfire stood a few feet away, looking into her compact and flicking her black hair.

"She just looks like a bitch, huh?" Tomo said as she and Yomi took a minute to just stand and stare at the cheerleaders for a moment, confident that the obscenely popular girls would not even notice.

"It's funny that her sister asked us to do this particularly embarrassing prank, because her sister just looks like the exact opposite of anything remotely bitchy. With her big eyes and… big eyes."

"They're both pretty, though."

"There are all different types of pretty. For instance, there's exotic pretty girls, and sickly drugatic pretty girls, and most of these cheerleaders are a typical bubblegum-chewing blonde pretty. The type of pretty where we're totally beneath their notice." She thought. "I mean, Blackfire's not blonde, though, and she doesn't chew gum."

"What kind do you think Double D thinks you are?"

Yomi turned to Tomo. "Pardon?"

"Double D thinks you're pretty. I think he likes you. You should date him."

Yomi blushed and crossed her arms, turning back to the cheerleaders. "I'll date who I want. And I don't want a relationship right now. Oh, shut up, something's happening with the cheerbots!"

Kim and Blackfire had come to a stand-off. You could tell by their poses that Kim was on the offensive and Blackfire didn't care.

"What did you say about me and Josh?"

Blackfire shrugged and turned to her locker. "I'm just saying that it's smart not to gossip about others when they have equally dirty info on you."

"That's old news. Don't bring it up again."

"I'm just giving advice!" Blackfire faked being offended. "Not everything all girls say is catty, Kim." When she fiddled with the lock, she smiled and winked at Tomo and Yomi.

She opened it and out fell an opened jumbo box of condoms, "stimulating cream", a dildo, and just for kicks, jumbo tampons.

Blackfire's mouth dropped as she stared at the mess. She didn't look horrified quite yet, just mildly upset (she's too cool for that "losing it" shit).

There was a silence as the girls watched. Kim mumbled, "I didn't actually think all the rumors about that were true."

Yomi grabbed Tomo's hand and dragged her out, without looking at Blackfire's face.

---

MIYAZAKI HIGH SCHOOL

Gym

Friday, October 18th

7:08 P.M.

"I hate football," I really do hate football.

"I know, you've already told us," Double D said back to me. I know he meant that I had already said it… I forget how many times, but I really hate football. It's so boring. The only thing I really do like is the nasty tackles. Oh, there was one! The crowd cheered, Kagura jumped up, and I jumped up with her.

Double D made this face like someone had made him eat a donut full of grass jelly. "If you love violence so much, you won't mind my asking, why do you hate football?"

"Because I've been to enough games to know if you've seen one game, you've seen them all." I sat back down and put on my best bored face and posture just to let everyone know that I will never buy this whole school spirit spiel.

My phone vibrated and I whipped it out as fast as possible (oh shut up, I know about the sexual double meaning, that's the oldest one in the book). It's the one I had been waiting for from Tomo saying they were ready to leave.

I got up, only to turn around and almost collide with some little kid who was wider than he was tall and dressed up in some fruity little blue suit, with a tie and everything. Oh geez, he's got a freakin' well-dressed posse of ugly little kids. Someone put a plague of ugly children upon me. "Move."

"Hey, you're that guy who plays pranks on people for money, right?" He didn't have a kid's voice…

WHAT? "What?"

"When people are mean to you! I tell you what to do, and I pay you. Okay, here's what I want. I want-"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I turn around to walk around the other way down the bleachers. There are more people, but it's better than dealing with this miniature nutjob.

"But I can pay you a lot of money!"

I REALLY should have kept lying. I REALLY should have kept playing dumb. But it's one of those cases where people already know the truth, and you could still fool them if you tried really hard, but just the fact that you have to do that throws you off, and instead of playing it safe and lying, the fucking best result your mouth and brain could make is, "We don't do business with little kids!" I gestured to Double D, who had missed the whole thing, and we made a run for it. Kagura likes football, so she looked disappointed, but I didn't give a crap.

We had one more prank that day. One more, and then the next day would be pure relaxation. Nothing to go wrong. Nothing out of the ordinary. And above all, for the first time in a while, nothing to throw me off my game.

---

VASQUEZ PLAZA

Friday, October 18th

9:30 P.M.

My curfew was ten, but obviously I would simply be getting in later than that. Not a single other person in our group had such an early curfew! Even Double D had negotiated his way into something like ten thirty, just like Chiyo, who's younger than the rest of us! She's just such a good kid that she builds up these brownie points to get her way for just about anything. I could have those too. I haven't done anything! My parents apparently think that if I'm out in the big bad nighttime too long, I'll pick something life-ruining for a career choice and embarrass them just like my dear old brother did. It would be worth it just to embarrass my parents, and they were never the ones I was the most pissed off at.

Anyway! Enough of that useless rambling. We had found out that these big bullies the Brotherhood came to Vasquez Plaza most nights to just walk around and generally be scary. Maybe they do graffiti or drugs or something. Let's see, William was Sloppy Joe, Blackfire was Garbage Can Nachos, so the Brotherhood… right! Goat Cheese Pizza! Hee. I like that one. Simple, and while not the most horrifying, certainly the grossest. Good for just getting the point across that you should just stop whatever you're doing.

We were all sitting in an alleyway, with Tomo as the one searching for any sign of the Brotherhood. Yomi looked distracted. That might screw things up. So I asked her, "Yomi, are you with us tonight? You can be replaced tonight. If you can't work with us, you can't get your pay. That simple."

"I'm fine," she snapped. "I was just… thinking about something."

"Yeah, what?"

"Do you think maybe we always target the right people?"

"Explain!"

"I mean, I think the objective of your business means well. But I wonder if maybe in the process of 'getting back' at all the 'bad guys', you hit some of the good guys too."

Hmm. Plausible, plausible. "You mean like civilians getting shot at a bank robbery?"

"No, I mean, do you always know for sure if the people you're hired to hit are the bad ones?"

I thought about it. Really mulled it over. All for her sake. "You're really into these deep, annoying questions, aren't you?"

"Here they come!!" Tomo barged in.

Yomi got up and walked out into the alleyway, just in time to see the Brotherhood. She waved to Lance Alvers, who I knew was in their group. Much to my surprise, he looked very normal, if maybe a little eighties-ish. The others were freaks, though. Some toady-looking guy, a white-haired guy who looked like he was high on cocaine, and some HUMONGOUS dude who I've seen walking around school (when he chooses to attend) because frankly, how could you not? He had gotten rid of the Mohawk since the last time I was at an angle where I could see the top of his head.

Double D looked white at the sight of them. "Eddy, who's the catalyst in this mission?"

"Who's the what in what?"

"Who commits the main action? The actual handling of the goat feces."

"I'm not gonna touch goat shit!"

"Well, I already GOT IT for you!" Tomo whisper-shouted, but it was more like just plain talking. "That was bad enough, and it's somebody else's turn!" To make a point, she threw the bag down in the middle of our cramped circle in the alleyway.

"Um… um… maybe… I can do it…" Chiyo reached for it. But her eyes widened, and they started to WATER too, dammit! So we all just sort of ignored her, telepathically communicating the idea that there was no way we were gonna let her do it.

"Wait, is that goat shit?!" Osaka pointed to the bag. That also cinched the idea that we didn't want someone like her playing an important part in this either.

Ed grabbed the bag.

And that's even worse than Osaka!! I stumbled up. "NO! Ed, don't do it!"

Ed went fumbling out of the alleyway. He whipped around, his target becoming the Brotherhood. "THIS ONE'S FOR THE GOOOOAAAAATS!" He ran towards them.

The Brotherhood scattered, with the toady-looking guy ending up on the windowsill of a second story window. The white-haired guy somehow got about fifty feet down the street, and the big fat guy was too big and fat to "scatter".

Ed dug his hand deep into the bag, pushed past Yomi, and smashed goat poop all over the Lance guy's face.

The white-haired guy cracked up. I could hear him from down the street. Yomi's mouth dropped. The toad made random noises of surprise.

Lance didn't get pissed off and run away, ranting, like I thought he would, like other people who had been pranked. "Whoa! Hey! What the hell are you doing?" He actually didn't look that pissed at all. Yet.

Ed stood there, still in the throwing position, shocked with himself. "I'm doing something!"

"No kidding! Did you prank me because you think I'm an asshole? Are you one of those kids?"

Ed stared, still open-mouthed, still in a seemingly permanent state of having thrown something. Yomi had made an escape at some point.

"I LIKE what you do. I was gonna come to you. I don't know why you pranked me!" He started to look a little pissed now. He posture relaxed. He gestured lamely to the laughing white-haired guy. "I mean, he's more of an asshole… whatever."

I glanced sideways, long enough to see Kagura make a run for it and Chiyo desperately follow her. I also missed it when Ed got punched in the face, but I certainly heard it.

"Oh shit! ED!" I did a super cool slidy move with my feet out of the alleyway and went over to him. If the Brotherhood was still present, I don't know what I would have done. Probably beg.

He was lying on the ground, vaguely aware of the blood on his face. He actually smiled. God bless the lunkhead. He was smiling. "It's cool. And different colored than my usual snot." He looked up at Double D, who looked near puking. "Can it be purple next?!" He held his nose. "Ouch, though!"

Osaka joined us. "WOW. That was a plot… something. Not quite a twist. You know what I'm talking about, right? When-"

"Shut up," I snarled. I didn't mean to be so pissy at one of the girls, but this situation, last I had checked, was not cause for feeling good. "I'll fix this. We'll fix this."

Sakaki leaned over and handed Ed a packet of tissues, deliberately not looking at his face. She must have had the same fear of anything remotely scary like Double D. It also occurred to me then that I had completely forgotten Sakaki's presence, despite her significant height (and cleavage). She was just silent the whole time. Ew, I wonder how she stands it. But instead of asking her why she didn't talk, I just said, "You can go home now."

"What?" Tomo asked.

"I SAID I want you to go home."

"Me?"

"You and Osaka and Sakaki."

"What? Why?"

"'Cause I think it would be easier without you, go away!"

"Jeeeeeeez!" She muttered. I wasn't watching, but amazingly enough, I heard her turn around and dart off. Osaka followed her.

But Sakaki stayed.

Ed was bleeding all over himself, legs sprawled out as he sat on his butt. He smiled ignorantly, unfolding each tissue carefully on his lap. Somehow the more I looked at him smiling, the worse I felt. I started to give him direction on how to use the tissues. "What are you looking at?!" I shouted at Sakaki.

She shrugged.

"…Fair enough."

Double D, who had probably gone off to puke somewhere, made his way back over to help Ed up. "We should go home. Ed can stay at my house."

"Really? What about your parents?"

"I'll arrange things accordingly. I want to go home."

"Deal."

And then, without any more words, Double D grabbed Ed's sleeve and quickly led him off. I stood with my mouth open like a fish or something. I didn't expect Double D to just split after saying… that… he wanted to… oh wow, or maybe I should have. Whatever. I wasn't surprised, just kind of annoyingly numb. Nothing was going right. My brain gears weren't clicking, the math was wrong, the stars weren't aligned.

Sakaki looked down at me.

"I'm going home," I walked off one way, not really sure if it was the quickest way to get home.

"Feel better," She walked off in another direction.

Fuck me.