Get a Life and Kiss a Real Girl

"Yeah…he did…" I nodded.

"Well, since you're here, and I was inviting Leah to a sleepover at my place, you wanna come?" She said, again off topic.

"When…"

"Tonight."

"Great, I'll be there!" I smiled, and then I turned to Jacob. "Since I am technically not part of your pack and you cannot use your almighty alpha powers on me, though those are quite fun, I'm ditching the patrol you decided to put me on. I mean I don't even live here for real, you can't make me do your chores."

Jacob sighed. "Damn, I'm back on patrol."

"I'LL DO IT!" Seth came back in.

"I have come to the conclusion that I am clinically insane." I sighed. "Why else would I have imprinted on him?"

"At exactly four o'clock today, the world as you know it will end." Kim smiled.

"You've never complained about my tactics before!" Leah frowned at me.

I went along with it, ha I love this movie.

"Complain? When do I complain about you, practicing the violin at three in the morning, or your mess, your general lack of hygiene, or the fact that you steal my clothes?"

"They're gonna have one hell of a time tonight." Jacob looked at all of us like we were completely insane.

And then we ate breakfast!

***later that evening***

"I wanna be the delinquent sixteen year-old!" I called.

"Damn, I'm the father then…" Kim complained.

"Yeah, good luck." I nodded.

Although four of Kim's friends couldn't stay the night, nor did they know we were, I remembered Callie, Kaela, Kaisha, and Felicity from my past summers here.

"Great so we have a conscience, a baby, a delinquent, a mother, a father, a dog, and a beaver-dog." Leah read off the list.

"Yeah!" Kim clapped, "We're good. Conscience, start the camera." She nodded at Kaisha.

Kaisha smiled.

So the video started oh so kindly with an introduction by Leah, our mother for all intents and purposes. Then all of hell broke loose.

"!" Callie cried, she was the baby.

Kaela attacked the conscience, she was a dog.

Felicity "peed" on the baby; she was the beaver-dog.

"Calm down." Leah snapped.

"Give me some loving." Kim appeared.

Leah made a face as Kim hugged her.

"Holy shit, NO!"

"MOM!" I screamed.

"WHAT!" Leah turned to look at me.

"Can I go to the party?"

"Who will be there?"

"My boyfriend." I made something up.

"You have another boyfriend now? What's his name?" She sighed as hell continued behind her.

"Taylor."

"LAUTNER?!"

"NO!"

"SWIFT?!"

"OH HELL NO!"

A few moments later…

I came back into the room.

"THE DOG SAYS SHE'S DRUNK!" Felicity barked.

Closure to that episode, and then we made a second.

"MOM!" I called behind me, "I'M OFF TO VEGAS!"

"YOU'RE OFF TO WHERE?!" Leah screeched and began to chase me before Kim tripped when Callie grabbed her leg. Her head made a "thud" on the floor.

I didn't come back in that episode.

Third episode, season finale….

Callie was crying because her "diaper needed to be changed."

"Take off your clothes!" Kim yelled at her.

"WE DO NOT HAVE THAT IN THIS FAMILY!" Leah yelled at her.

Felicity had disappeared into the bathroom. For some really wrong reason, Kim followed her in.

Leah went to stop her and then screamed.

"OHMYGAWD SHE WAS REALLY GOING TO THE BATHROOM!"

The door had been locked.

Felicity shrieked.

"I'VE BEEN RAPED BY A HUMAN!" She ran out.

"Hey, mom." I said, quite randomly. "I'm pregnant."

"YOU'RE WHAT?!" Leah turned to me.

"Congratulations!" Kim hugged me.

***

Haha, wild night, huh? I was considering "phasing" after the other four girls left just to see if Jared was running and if he was, show him what Kim had been up to.

Oh well, it was something like ten-fifty-nine AM and we were getting picked up by Jacob, because Leah needed a ride and I intended to go with her. Well, actually, Leah was driving home, but he was driving here because the douche decided to hijack the car.

"DAMN! WAKE UP!" I screeched.

Kim's head shot up and hit the table on which the lamp sat. The lampshade promptly fell onto her head.

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Kim waved us back, "Get changed fast and pack your stuff."

She proceeded to climb the stairs with a lampshade on her head.

"What the HELL were you guys doing?!" It sounded like Jared and Jacob had come! Wait, there was a squeaky echo, SETH TOO?!

"SHIT!" Leah and I looked at each other, but we couldn't finish packing, we started to laugh too hard.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Jacob had come down the stairs.

Seth had come down with him.

"Seth!" I squealed. SOMETHING SCREAMS HANGOVER!

"Ha, I thought you were a wolf, guess you're a pig." Leah snorted.

"No, I'm a horse, and I do believe you just snorted."

"JUST PACK UP YOUR DAMN THINGS!" Jacob roared.

After that lovely few minutes, I was forced to sit on Seth's lap in the car because, whaddya know, four shifters don't fit in a Toyota corolla! It just doesn't work! Especially when there is too much luggage and some has to bunk in the back seat instead of the trunk!

So, and I still don't know what possessed me to do this, I entertained by shifting into multiple tiny things that FIT in the damn car!

First it was a rat.

Then a there was a ferret.

And finally, a puppy!

And then, quite abnormally, something else possessed me to lick Seth's face like a real puppy would! Those puppy hormones just can't say no to an innocent bystander. Poor moron…

"Ew, Seth, get a life and kiss a real girl!" Leah made a face when she glanced back in the mirror.

Jacob rolled down the window.

"DAMNIT, SETH, STOP FRENCH-KISSING THE DOG!"

Cars of laughing people went by. Leah and Jacob were practically howling.

Seth made a face.

Oh, he wishes it was French-kissing.

I barked.

Then I shifted into runway clothes.

"You CAN shift into clothes!" Jacob smiled.

"Obviously, else I wouldn't have bothered shifting back at all!"

A/N:

LOVE YOU TO MY FIRST TWO REVIEWS! THANKS Horse Racing Girl and Team-LaPush-Werewolves! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE REVIEW! IT MAKES IT ALL WORTH-WHILE!

And so all of oyu know, every isngle detail of the sleepover part of this was true, except only conscience left the party cause she didn't feel well and there was a lot of "HAWTDAWG" and "IT'LL BE ALL OKAY!" and "RAPE!" screaming going on. Please note these happenings may not be in perfect order.

Oh and I did say that to a guy once, he was kissing, or I guess the dog kissed him (yes it was a girl dog) and it was the girl that I based Kim's personality on's dog and I screamed (and yes, her mom was home) "GET A LIFE AND KISS A REAL GIRL!" Then when he proceeded to ignore me I shouted "DAMNIT STOP FRENCH-KISSING GUB-GUB!" (gub-gub is the dogs nickname, her real name is lilly)

Haha, and the night before that I kicked him in the shin and when he couldn't walk told him to stop bitching about it.

I've had a fun weekend haven't I?! (except for the sleepover it was all this weekend!)

Sasha/GIMH/SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA