Hi guys!
Sorry for the delay, but you know, busy busy! I've actually been working on this on and off for a week now.
Thanks to reviewers, kaotic2, acer-sigma, Leetmouse, ElusiveSanity, clearfanfic, TK-MR, The1Russter and mosherguy18.
(I will try to explain a few things in the footnotes)
Sarah pounded the bag with an intensity she hadn't been feeling very often lately. It reminded her of her days in Pescadero, when she had nothing to do other than work out in her cell. She poured all of her anger and worry out in to the poor inanimate object. Her little chat with Cameron hadn't gone as planned, and if anything would come of it the result would surely be to push her son even further away. She heard a faint noise over the sound of her own grunting, her training kicked in and she picked up her 9mm from the workbench. She trained it on the door, feeling in the mood to shoot...something today. The door flew open and Derek emerged, his own gun drawn.
"It's just you"
Well duh
"Yeah, just me"
Sarah lowered her weapon and examined Derek. He looked tired, stressed and also ready to shoot something, anything if he thought it would help. Apparently she must have looked in a similar mood as Derek spoke.
"So I take it your play date with the metal didn't go well?"
Sarah did her best to glare at Derek despite the thoughts running a million miles an hour through her head. She knew deep down how John felt and already knew the answer to the question she was about to ask. She wanted to and tried to deny it, however her little chat with Cameron had only added fuel to the internal fire. She looked to Derek with a hopeful look on her face.
"No it didn't. Did John say anything?"
...
"We need to do something...fast"
The drive home had been quiet in Derek and John's truck. Neither man nor boy had said a word to each other since they left the park earlier that day.
The back end of Sarah's jeep greeted them as they pulled in to the driveway of their house. Derek pulled up and parked the truck behind it. He switched off the engine before looking over to John, who looked lost in thought. A moment later he suddenly stepped out of the truck, closing the door behind him completely ignoring Derek as he did.
You're welcome.
Derek sat and watched his nephew walk up to the house with a sad look on his face.
What the hell am I going to do about all of this? I'll have to talk to Sarah about it. Maybe she had more luck with the metal than I had with John.
Derek let that idea roll around his head for a moment before deciding that cleaning his weapons cache would take his mind off the subject for a while. He stepped out of the truck and trudged toward the small shed at the other end of the driveway. A few steps before he reached it he heard some indistinguishable noises coming from inside. Ever ready for a conflict he pulled out the 9mm tucked in the back of his pants and carefully edged towards the door, gun raised. The noises stopped. Throwing caution to the wind Derek took a step back and kicked the flimsy door open, raising his gun aiming at the entrance. He scanned the room quickly and immediately lowered his weapon.
"It's just you"
"Yeah, just me"
Derek took a moment to take in her appearance. She was wearing loose fitting sports clothing and was bathed in sweat. He noticed the punch bag gently swaying next to her and put two and two together. Sarah was pissed.
"So I take it your play date with the metal didn't go well?"
Sarah glared at him with a terrifying glint in her eye. Derek was positive he saw the hand still holding her gun twitch a little.
"No it didn't. Did John say anything?
...
"We need to do something...fast"
Movement detected, standby......
Movement identified, vehicle approaching......
Vehicle identified, Derek Reese's Dodge Ram......
Vehicle occupants, Derek Reese and John Connor......
Cameron had been analysing what she was going to do when John returned. She had been standing in his bedroom looking out of his window, her eyes locked on the driveway entrance for the last thirty minutes. The drive home with Sarah had been in total silence, as expected. Cameron suspected she may have upset Sarah by very bluntly calling her out on her lying. The truth was Cameron was upset and slightly angry with Sarah for lying to her in the first place.
She tried to trick me in to revealing something about my relationship with John. Why would she do that? She doesn't trust me, very few humans do.
Cameron continued to observe as John stepped out of the truck and headed toward the house. Her eyes remained fixed on him as he approached. She barely registered the movement of Derek heading to the shed, or the sound of him kicking the door open. Her attention was solely on John.
John approached the house with a renewed sense of confidence and self belief, although he was still in a slight state of shock that he had basically admitted to his uncle things that he hadn't even admitted to himself yet.
John reached his bedroom door. He hadn't even realised he'd entered the house, much less climbed the stairs, such were his thoughts of Cameron.
John lay on his bed facing the ceiling with his hands laced behind his head. He had spent the last hour or so just contemplating just what the hell had gone on recently.
He had always known Cameron was important to him, even in the early days when she was not much more than a machine protector. Even then John knew she was different. No other Terminator, even uncle Bob, would inquire as to whether or not they had a birthday. No other Terminator would get his cereal, bowl and milk out for him in the morning. He had explained things to her, and her trademark 'Thank you for explaining' had settled in to a quiet corner of his heart as one of his favourite things about her.
But then with the turn of a key everything changed. She tried to kill him. She reverted to her Skynet programming and hunted him.
It wasn't so much the killing him part that hurt him. It was the confession of her love for him when she was trapped between the trucks. Up until that day John had never known a Terminator could cry, scream and beg for her life. Her admission had confused and tortured him so much that he consciously started pushing her away. John coped by throwing himself headlong in to an ultimately doomed relationship with Riley, a relationship he never truly felt meant anything to him. All his time with Riley was spent thinking about Cameron, trying to sort out how he truly felt about her. There were several occasions he had to remind himself that 'she', was really an 'it', especially during the 'Allison' incident. He had witnessed the look of joy and happiness on her face at doing something as simple as playing foosball. He was overjoyed at seeing Cameron so happy, but that all came crashing down as he realised it wasn't Cameron who was happy, it was Allison.
Whatever mental fragilities she now had developed, she was still his best friend. She had saved his life more times than he cared to remember, and now more than ever she needed someone to be her best friend, whether she knew it or not.
He picked himself up off his bed and marched out of his room with a purpose.
Find her and make it up to her.
He took a few short steps down the corridor and knocked on her door. When he didn't receive a reply he slowly turned the knob and entered.
Empty.
Huh, where is she?
Thinking she must be on patrol or sentry duty he made his way down the stairs to the living room, expecting to see her standing in front of the window staring at nothing and everything.
Nope, guess again Johnny boy.
Why did his own mind have to seemingly taunt him so much?
John shucked off the self depreciating thought and decided to try the kitchen, maybe she was watching the rear of the house. As he entered he didn't see Cameron, instead he saw his mom sitting at the table sipping on what he assumed was coffee, the telltale scent invading his nostrils. Her hair was damp and she looked freshly showered.
She must have been working out earlier, she's pissed about something.
"Mom"
"Son" she smirked at the simple greeting exchange and took another sip.
"Uh, yeah, hi. Have you seen Cameron?"
Oh how Sarah wasn't expecting that one. Yeah right. She decided to answer with the truth, knowing full well he'd find her eventually anyway.
"I saw her about a half hour ago outside. Probably doing a patrol, you know...her job"
John shot her a look that said in no uncertain terms that he was tired of hearing crap like that from her. They had already had this discussion, and he was pretty sure she had asked Derek to take him for his 'guy time', just to separate him from Cameron for a while.
"Thanks" he managed to force out through gritted teeth on his way out of the back door.
Sarah sighed as she yet again found herself watching John walk away from her and straight to the arms of the machine.
John made his way around the full perimeter of the house, even stopping to check in the shed.
Maybe she has some repairs to do.
Nope, not in there either. By this point John was starting to panic slightly. Several thoughts started running through his mind.
Where is she? What if she's gone? What if she got sick of all this crap and left me? What if...
John took a moment to breathe deeply in an attempt to calm himself down. He knew she wouldn't just up sticks and leave. He was pretty sure she was still being governed by her mission to protect him. If she had been doing a patrol then maybe he had just missed her somewhere.
He headed back in to the house through the front door and straight up the stairs. As he passed Cameron's room he noticed the door was wide open.
I'm pretty sure I closed that.
Curiosity got the better of him and he entered to investigate. He looked around the increasingly familiar bedroom and saw no signs of anyone being in the room until the bathroom door opened and Cameron walked out. She regarded him with a tilted head before turning to close the door behind her.
"Is the future leader of mankind excluded from the requirement to knock before entering someone's bedroom?"
Wait, was that a joke?
Her blank face told him it was not, but he saw the slightest glint of humour in her eyes and decided to play along.
"I dunno, I guess it depends on whose bedroom I am entering. My mothers, yes, my 'sisters' no. Cos that's not what 'brothers' do"
The merest hint of a smile graced her lips as she moved to sit on the edge of her bed.
Yesssss, one nil to Connor.
She looked up at him with a pretty smile that made his heart melt. He must have stood staring for quite a while when she was forced to ask...
"Is there something you need?"
The question brought him out of his daze and he blushed slightly, realising what he had been doing.
"Erm, yeah, there are some things I need to tell you. Why were you in the bathroom by the way?"
She didn't answer, but instead turned her head to show John her now healed cheek.
"I was removing my bandages"
John subconsciously moved closer to her and sat on the bed next to her. He reached a hand up and gently brushed her cheek, feeling for any signs of the injury inflicted by the triple eight.
"Wow, it's just as perfect as before"
"Thank you"
John realised he was still caressing her cheek and withdrew his hand sheepishly, blushing slightly as he did.
"What did you want to tell me?"
John knew exactly what he wanted to tell her. But he couldn't quite find the words needed to relay to her just how much he meant them. He looked at her beautiful face and felt his strength and resolve grow.
"Cameron..."
He reached out and took her hand in his own, resting it in her lap. She looked down at their joined hands for a moment before giving his hand a subtle squeeze as an indication to continue. She returned her eyes to his.
"...I want to apologise to you...for everything"
"John..."
He held up his free hand in a stop gesture.
"Please let me finish, this is important"
She nodded her assent.
"I want to apologise for the constant stream of crap you have to put up with around here. My mom and Derek treat you as nothing more than a tool to be used and discarded...and I haven't been treating you much better..."
She looked like she was about to respond, but remembering his request for silence, she continued to listen.
"...Let's start from the beginning. I'm sorry for blaming you for Jordan's suicide. You stopped me from trying to help her for my own safety, I should have been thanking you for protecting me, instead of blaming you for her death"
He paused for a moment to gauge her reaction. Seeing that her eyes continued to look deeply in to his own, he continued, sure in the knowledge he was doing the right thing.
"I'm sorry that I started ignoring you and pushing you away after my birthday. I shouldn't have blamed you, Cameron, for what happened that day. Because it wasn't you, Cameron, that tried to kill me, it was Skynet. That wasn't you, this..."
He lifted her hand up slightly to show her what he meant.
"...is the real you"
John took a deep steadying breath before continuing.
"And I'm sorry about Riley. I'm sorry I took so many stupid risks with her, like running away to Mexico. I'm sorry that for a while I thought you killed her..."
A single tear lined his left eye and threatened to spill.
"...I'm sorry for last night, for calling you just a damn machine. I know that you are more than that and I shouldn't have spoken to you like that, like mom or Derek would do"
His eyes could no longer contain the tear as it ran down his cheek.
"I'm so sorry Cameron. Can you forgive me?"
Cameron had been automatically scanning him during the exchange. She detected no traces of insincerity in her biomarker scans. He truly was sorry for the way he had treated her, and that was enough for her.
"Yes John I can. But only if you forgive me"
John looked at her with a mixture of relief and happiness before finally settling on confusion.
"Forgive you, for what?"
She reached her spare hand up to his cheek and ran the back of her index finger over his bruising cheek, much like he had done to her a few minutes ago, causing John to wince slightly.
"I'm sorry for hitting you..."
"Cameron..."
She held up her hand in a stop gesture.
"Please let me finish, this is important"
Realising she'd repeated his words to him, he promptly shut his mouth and listened very carefully.
"I shouldn't have hit you, I could have seriously injured you. I am dangerous John. I cannot control my emotions...
As he looked about ready to reply she started speaking again, this time with a noticeable shaking of her voice.
"...I need to explain why I lashed out like that so that you can hopefully forgive me..."
She looked to him for approval to continue. She received it in the form of an open mouthed nod from John.
"...John, you are the only one who treats me as more than just a machine, you treat me like a real person. In my whole existence, you have been the kindest person I've ever known. When you called me 'just a damn machine' it really hurt me, it caused me to feel anger for the first time. I know I am a machine, but as I have recently begun to develop beyond that I thought you of all people would respect the fact that I am now more. I felt a sudden irrational anger and struck out. I am sorry that my emotions have harmed you..."
John stood from the bed and turned away from her, pulling his hand from hers. She looked devastated at the loss of contact and his apparent displeasure with her. She fumbled about in her database for the right words to correct the sudden change.
"...John, please, I, I, I'll find a way to stop them, I, I'll turn them off, I'll protect you from far away, yes, I can do that, John please"
He heard the pleading in her voice and couldn't take it anymore. The reason he had turned away was because he didn't want her to see the tears in his eyes, he didn't want her to see him weak. He turned back to face her and kneeled on the floor in front of her. He reached up both his hands to cup her now tear stained cheeks.
"Don't you ever apologise for something that other people caused"
Her CPU did it's best to make her head tilt in confusion but John's hands prevented it from doing so. He felt the movement and broke out in a sudden small smile.
"Sorry, that was confusing wasn't it?"
She did her best to nod in his hands. John thought she looked adorable with her face squashing up slightly.
"What I meant was you can't blame yourself because I caused you to feel angry. Hell, if I punched someone because they pissed me off, I'd blame them not me. My point is that I made you feel angry, you should be blaming me. Quite frankly I deserved it. I made you feel those emotions by saying something stupid, so it's my fault. You only did what any other person would do. I'm sorry"
John saw her eyes moving around rapidly, a telltale sign of that she was analysing his words. Suddenly her eyes focused back on his.
"So...you...forgive me?" she said tentatively.
John let out a small chuckle.
"Of course I do Cameron"
She reached up and grasped his hands that were still on her face. She brought them down to her lap and leaned forward. She placed a tear soaked and very gentle kiss on his cheek.
"Thank you"
John's brain did what all other sixteen year old brains do when the body it's attached to is kissed by a pretty girl, it froze.
"Um, erm, you're, uh, welcome"
She giggled a little bringing John back to reality.
When did she learn to giggle like that, it sounds so genuine.
"John"
"Hmm, yes?"
"I need to enter standby for a while. This anger is not pleasant, but I am risking damage to my neural network by not shutting down to analyse it soon"
"Uh, okay, we'll talk more when you wake up"
Cameron reached down and gracefully slipped out of her boots. John meanwhile had retrieved a blanket from the dresser and brought it back to her. She lay down on her side as John laid the blanket on top of her, pulling it up to her chin.
She doesn't need the warmth but what the hell, it just feels like something I should do.
"Thank you John" she said with her eyes closed.
"You're welcome Cameron" John surprised himself by returning the favour of a kiss on the cheek.
She smiled as he pulled back, happy in the knowledge that she had patched up their relationship. However she knew she had to do something when she 'woke up', and she was not sure how John would react.
John headed downstairs for a bite to eat. He ran in to Sarah on the way.
"Hi mom"
"Hey. Did you find her?"
"Uh, yeah. She was patrolling, we kinda missed each other along the way"
"Uh huh, listen. She told me about the Terminator that attacked her..."
When did mom and Cameron talk?
Realisation dawned on him that they must have done something while he was out with Derek. Something must have been said to cause Cameron's demeanour towards him to change upon his return.
"...she said it had a logo on its pocket. She described it and I recognised it"
"What is it?"
Sarah seemed to hesitate, deciding on whether or not to tell him. But she knew she'd need his help with this one.
"It's the same logo that 'Desert Canyon Heat and Air' used, but it looked like he worked for some other division of a bigger company"
John considered her words for a moment.
"Kaliba" it was more of a statement than a question.
"Probably. I need you to get on the computer and see if you can find out where some of their offices are located. We need to find out what they are up to"
"Yeah okay. I'll do it when Cameron wakes up"
"Wakes up?" Sarah asked with a look of sudden irritation on her face.
"Uh, yeah, long story"
With that he slipped past his mother and in to the kitchen to raid the fridge.
Derek was right.
John took his freshly made sandwich back up to Cameron's room to eat.
Aah turkey. You may hide from me a lot but damn you taste good.
He perched himself on the chair near the bed with the plate on his lap. He had made a couple of bites in to it when he noticed Cameron's eyes flutter open.
"Hey"
He gestured to the sandwich in his hands.
"Want some of this?"
And there it was, the perfect opportunity for her to drill home her point.
"No thank you John, I'm not hungry"
She sat up and folded the blanket neatly, placing it at the foot of the bed. She looked at his face before deciding on the machine equivalent of 'fuck it'.
"You need to understand how it works"
"What?" John asked in confusion, swallowing the contents of his mouth.
"This chip...this body. The software is designed to terminate humans. The hardware is designed to terminate humans. That's our sole function"
"Not you" John stated in a disbelieving tone.
"No. Not anymore. But what was there is still there. It'll always be there"
There was a slight hint of warning in her tone, hoping to convince him of how dangerous she can be.
John nodded before replying, seeming to catch the point.
"So down deep, you wanna kill me"
"Yes, I do"
A John Connor who hadn't spent the last few days helping a cyborg understand her emotions might have bolted from the room at that point. But not this John Connor. This John Connor merely sat up and asked a very pertinent question.
"Then why don't you?"
"I might someday"
There, it was now out in the open between them. She hoped that John would realise what point she was trying to make. She decided he needed further convincing, further evidence to show what she truly meant.
"I need to show you something"
With that she stood from the bed and looked at him.
"This body"
She stripped off her top in one swift motion, surprising John to say the least. She revealed her black satin bra and smooth, tanned and toned skin. She sat back down on the bed with her left leg tucked beneath her. John merely stared, utterly confused and quite obviously turned on by what she was doing. She reached around her back and unhooked her bra, simply allowing it to fall before she lay down on her back, her head nestling in the pillow. She looked over to him, still sitting on the chair.
"Get on top of me"
John closed his mouth and placed his sandwich back on the plate. He stood from his perch with slightly shaky knees and placed his plate on the dresser. As he moved to the bed she gave him instructions.
"Put your knee here" she directed him to where she wanted him and he willingly complied, still not sure what she was up to.
She pulled a switchblade knife out of her jeans pocket and handed it to him, their hands brushing as she did.
"Right here"
She trailed her finger down in between her breasts where she wanted him to cut. He seemed to hesitate, not wanting to make a mark on her perfect body.
"Please John, I need you to see this"
Hearing this hardened his resolve and he cut exactly as instructed, trying to concentrate on the knife and not her bare breasts. If he had looked at her face he would have seen the look of discomfort flash across her features.
"Reach down, under the breastplate"
She seemed almost pensive as she said this, realising she was taking an incredible risk in doing this. She had never been this exposed to harm in her short existence, and it scared her.
John did as instructed and reached under her armour. He had never been this close to anybody before, and it scared him.
"There"
His hand found something.
"What does it feel like?"
John directed his gaze back to her eyes.
"Cold..."
His hand moved around the object, trying to ascertain what it was.
"...what is it?"
"It is my power source, a shielded nuclear reactor. And yes you are right, it is cold"
John's eyes searched hers for an answer to what all of this was about. She provided him with one.
"John, I do not have a heart. I am powered by a reactor, my bones are made of coltan and my brain is a computer chip. I am a machine John. I am dangerous. I needed you to fully realise this before you do anything you might regret. The more emotions I experience and the more I analyse them, the more I have come to realise just how dangerous I am to you"
She looked deeply in to his eyes while he considered her words. His hand still hadn't left her chest or her power source, she still felt vulnerable while awaiting his response.
She told me she is dangerous. She made me put my hand on her power source, her very life. She is giving me the opportunity to kill her here and now, just yank it out and poof, she's dead.
Cameron's stare never left his eyes. His face was now only a couple of inches away from hers. He looked up to meet her gaze and did the exact opposite of what she expected. He leaned closer and kissed her. Softly, gently and tenderly he kissed her. Her processes froze, unable to comprehend what was happening. She felt his hand on her power source, still fully expecting him to pull it at any second.
Might as well enjoy it before he terminates me.
She kissed back for all she was worth, her lips moving against his forcefully. The surge in emotional data caused a spike in her reactor and John felt it. He felt a sudden jolt through his right hand and realised what was happening, he was lost in the moment. Just as suddenly as he kissed her he pulled back, quickly withdrawing his hand from her chest cavity.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that"
He stood from the bed, and turned to walk out of the door, not sparing a backwards glance.
She heard him pounding down the stairs. She heard the front door closing. She heard the doors to the truck open and close. She heard the engine start. She heard the tyres crunching on the gravel until they were out of her audible range. She should have followed him, protected him, it was after all her mission to keep him safe. Instead of doing that she brought her hand up to touch her just kissed lips. She caresses them softly, trying to replicate the feeling she had just experienced. She sat back and brought her other hand up to her chest, running her fingers along the incision John had made.
What has just happened?
Yes, I'm going to tease you with semi Jameron for a little while longer!
1.) Cereal, milk and bowl - Check out The Turk, the eyeliner scene. John goes to get his bowl but it's already out for him. Only noticed that one on my last rewatch.
2.) I wrote the Mr. Ferguson style opening when I wasn't really in a writing mood. I don't feel it's up to my usual standards but I thought a rewrite would turn out similarly anyway.
3.) I know that writing the Born to Run scene is a little bit of a cop out, but I tried to change it to keep it relevant to the story. I hope you don't mind :)