So Here is Chapter 4. Srry that it took a while but im rlly busy these days, got alot to do. But again I'll try my best to post ;-). BTW it starts out with the part in the preview =).

Bella's P.O.V.

As soon as she said those two syllables my heart sunk. I felt a stabbing pain in my chest and held myself from falling. It was as though his words came and slapped me across the face. The day when he said that he didn't love me and ," It will be as if I never existed." Those words haunted me after the days that he had left, "It will be as if I never existed"

These words chanted in my head,".......I never existed."

"What happened to him?" I managed to choke out. I felt a warm hand slip into mine, it was Jacob's. And for once I didn't pull away. I needed him right now.

Alice's petite, pixie-like eyes turned to me with true sorrow filling them, "He's dead."she whispered, as she fell to her knees, hands cupped in her face.

I felt as though someone had knocked all the oxygen out of me. I fell to the ground, gasping for air. I was soon surrounded by everyone and Jacob reaching out to pick me up. But I pushed him away, he took a step back and just stared at me with blank eyes. He was hurt. The hole in my chest gashed open and I gasped for air again. Despite all my pain I got to my feet and stumbled back inside the house. Stepping inside to house I heard Jacob call my name, "Bella!" Swallowing the lump in my throat, I turned around and said, " No Jacob.... just leave me alone. I've never loved you and never will. Can't see that it's him that I loved and it's always been him. So save your breath 'cause it'll never happen." And I said this with as much bitterness in my voice as possible. And I knew what I just did but it had to be done.

I just broke his heart and nothing in the world made me want to die more than this moment. Just the look on his face tore me to shreds. The last thing I saw of him was a single tear fall down his face and him running into the forest.

Running inside I slammed the door behind me and slid down it. I wanted to be alone. This pain was unbearable.

And so I sat there back at the door, pouring my heart out no-one bothered to knock on the door, not even Alice ,she must have left. Great. She was leaving me too. Why am I so selfish. I hurt everyone I love whether it's in one way or the other, I mean look at Jacob. Oh no, what did I just say, did I love Jacob?

My chest started aching even more as the hole became bigger, ready to swallow me in. I couldn't think of Jacob right now, I just couldn't.

From there on I let all the memories of Edward flow in. The way his crooked smile made me flush. The way I'd melt at his velvety-voice. The way his kisses left me breathless. The way his stone-marble body glistened under the sun. His touch cold. His soft bronze hair. And last but not least, his gorgeous topaz eyes. "Edward." I sobbed, "Edward."

I stay there crying till the tears stopped coming down. I got up and ungainly walked to my room. Charlie wasn't coming home, he was spending to night at Uncle John's a few miles away. Flopping on the bed, I fell asleep that night with the memories of what use to be my life.

I woke up to the sound of two familiar voices. They belonged to Charlie and Alice. "Is she okay?" Charlie said in a muffled voice. "Yeah." Alice responded "She's awake." I squinted my eyes open to see Charlie and Alice's faces looking at me anxiously. Feeling defensive I groaned, "What?" Right there I heard how hoarse my voice was. I had been crying so much, about Edward, about Jacob. Yesterday I lost one person in my life and caused another to leave me too. I don't know what was up me with me. I had been crying all yesterday just because of Edward. I mean yeah he was gone but I mean.... whatever.

It's ironic 'cuz I felt completely different from yesterday. Yesterday all I felt was depression about Edward's death, sadness, anger at what Jacob said and guilt for everything that I had done. But today was different. I was different.

I didn't feel any of that, I felt normal. As if none of this had happened. I sat up in my bed and tore the covers off of me, Alice must have tucked me in. Gosh, did I sound like a baby! To be honest I was one. Being the way that I dealt with everything yesterday. As I stood up and stretched I notice that Charlie and Alice's eyes were still on me. "What?" I repeated as smiled, grabbed my towel and strolled towards to bathroom. As I walked past them I caught their expressions, which were sheer confusion.

I giggled to my self as I entered the bathroom. Taking a look at the mirror I saw a girl with a tear stained face and blank eyes. No emotion what-so-ever. It almost seemed as she was hiding something, just that little thing that could destroy her. I quickly looked away as I pushed all the thoughts to the back of my head.

I turned on the water turning the knob to hot. Slowly, I slipped my clothes off, throwing them into the hamper and stepped foot into the shower. The steaming hot water lightly fell on my skin. It somehow managed to relax me, it seemed as if it washed all my worries away. I just let everything fall down the drain. I took one last breath and turned of the water. Pushing the shower curtains aside I stepped out of the shower and wrap the rose-colored towel around me. Walking out of the bathroom I felt a rush of cold air hit me and instantly turned my head to the window, it was open. As I walked over to close it I heard the door of my room open. In came both Alice and Leah. Alice seemed somewhat ecstatic and Leah of course was sneering.

"Hi Bella." Alice chided, pulled me into a hug and I hugged back. She pulled away and I was able to see the truth in her eyes. She was worried. But in a quick move she flashed me a bright smile, that hid any trace of distress on her face and sat on the foot of my bed. My eyes left Alice's as they wandered over the figure at the corner of my room, Leah. She was standing there, arms folded and giving of the impression that she was obviously annoyed, not to forget she was shaking from the urge to kill the vampire standing just a few feet from her, or even kill me.

I forced myself to finally say, "Uh... hi Leah." in a friendly tone. "Look Swan I'm not here to play 'Best Friends' like the leech, " she spat, " S-sam told me to come tell you that he needs to see you." She continued, "Turns out little Jacob ran away because of your 'scene' yesterday. Wimp."

Somehow that last part managed to anger me. Just because he ran away that didn't mean he was a wimp. He's just ......well I don't know but she had no right to stick her nose in his business. I was really getting sick of Leah so I retorted, "First and foremost Leah, that is none of your business. What he chooses to do is none of your concern. Just because Sam left and your miserable doesn't mean you have to make everyone else lives miserable too."

At the those words she flinched, "You better shut it Swan." She said as she took a step closer. I replied, " Make me." showing no fear, even though I was scared out of my mind. The look on Leah's face truly read murderous. With two long strides she was just 1 foot away from me, shaking uncontrollably. Crap. She was going to kill me. I closed my eyes tightly as I wait for the pain to come. But I felt nothing. All I heard was a loud thud and slowly opened my eyes to see Alice on top of Leah. Who was now a wolf. Wow, I even forgot that Alice was in the room.

Leah was now a huge white wolf, it was stunning. Even though she looked drop-dead gorgeous, her actions weren't quite. She was scratching, clawing and growling and everything. Now I know to never mess with her again. Though she was going scary Alice had her really good. Despite the punches and scratches Alice still held her down. They were wrestling on the ground, Leah on top of Alice, Alice on top of Leah. Alice finally held her down and growled, "Get in the Bathroom!" I had never heard that side of her, dumbfounded I shuffled my feet over to the bathroom and slammed the door closed.

I breathed in and out, remembering that I had been holding my breath this whole time. What was happening out there? I heard things breaking, a few growls and someone must have gotten thrown against the wall. After fifteen minutes of this everything just stop abruptly, I just heard a few words that I couldn't quite catch, shambling of feet and my room's door close. "You can come out now!" Alice breathed. With my hands shaking I clumsily opened the door to see a messy-looking Alice, with scratches everywhere. She was barely standing. "Oh my gosh, are you ok? What happened!" I cried, and ran to her side. "Yes Bella, I'm fine. Hello, vampire." she joked, then laughed. The laugh that could make anyone smile, even in a situation like this. It sounded like a thousand bells ringing. " Well you heard most of it," she kidded "But I convinced her to go home. I just need to get out for a while, and hunt. So.... I be a while." she informed me. I just nodded my head as she walked towards the window. She took one last glance at my sad expression and engulfed me into her petite body, "Don't worry." she reassured. She leapt out of my room and landed on her two feet in an agile manner. "Oh and I pay for everything, also don't forgt go over to Sam's." Those were the last words I heard from her as she sprinted into the forest.

I turned my head around to see what was left of my room. The dresser had a few claw marks on it, all my pictures, perfumes and jewelry was thrown on the floor. Some of the clothes splattered here and there. My bed was definitely broken. The wood chips were everywhere. Great, how would I explain this to Charlie!

I tippy-toed over to my closet, careful not to step on anything that could hurt me, and opened the door. It was the only place that they hadn't touched. I looked through my clothes, looking for a decent outfit to wear ,funny I was still in my towel after this whole time. Anyway I took out my white v-neck, a dark-blue sweater, and levi jeans. I decided to wear this with my flats. I didn't want to wear sneakers.

I walked out of my room and ungainly made it down the stairs. Passing down the living room I saw Charlie crashed on the couch. He must have been in a deep sleep to not have heard that rumble upstairs. I didn't want to wake him up so just walked to the kitchen and left a note on the fridge.

(AN: this is what the note says)

Dear Charlie,

I'm heading over to Sam's. I didn't want to wake you up because you were sleeping. I'll be back soon.

,Bella.

I stuck the sticky on the fridge and grabbed my jacket, it was cold outside.

Stepping out the warm house I felt the rush of cold air hit my face. I trotted to the big red-truck that I loved and got inside. I brought to engine to life and pulled out of the driveway. I really didn't want to go to La Push right now but had to. Honestly I didn't know what was going to happen. Whether they wanted to talk about Jacob running away or Victoria or I don't know. But thing was that it wasn't as if I was too sad to talk about it, it's just not now. I just wanted to lay down in my bed I really didn't want to face Sam, Emily, Billy or the pack. It was too agonizing, knowing that I'm the one that caused one of their pack members to flee.

I drove through the once familiar road as I saw a figure flash by my window, "What was that?" I breathed, as I jumped. Stepped harder on the pedal as my truck dashed past the place.

Anyway I made it to Sam and Emily's place. Stepping out the truck I couldn't shake the feeling away that I was being watched. As if someone was right behind me. I rushed to there porch, of course I tripped a few times. As I stood at the doorstep I took a deep breath before twisting the knob. I opened the door the to see..............

So what do you guys think? Plz review, it'll honestly make my day =). And like I said before Idk when I'll be able to post got alot on my plate. I know I sound so grown up, lol.

Anyway thx for reading! Love you guys!

PS. Check out my BFF Castillo in the middle's story Today Was a Fairytale! PLZZZZZZZZ