Title: Edward's Box
Character(s): The Cullens (mentions Bella)
Rating: K
Summary: Esme gets a new refrigerator. Edward became bored, so he took refuge in his own mind with his imagination and decided he needed the refrigerator box. A war between Mental Edward and the other Cullens ensues.

Word Count: 2,394

WARNING! CHARACTERS ARE OOC!! (Especially Edward!)

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do now own Twilight, the Internet, Ebay, or the Mission Impossible theme song!

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Edward's Box

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Esme walked into the Cullens' kitchen carrying a brand new refrigerator, which was still in its box.

"Edward, could you come help me, please?" She called, setting the refrigerator down. A second later, Edward entered the kitchen. Edward didn't question the new appliance. It was usual for Esme to buy new household items every couple years. She claimed that it kept her busy and kept her house in style.

"What do you need help with, mom?" He asked.

"Could you take the old refrigerator outside? Emmett's out there, and for some reason he wants it," Esme replied.

Edward just sighed. Emmett always wanted the things they threw out. None of the Cullens knew why, but they became pretty suspicious whenever there was a mini explosion and Emmett was gone.

"No problem," He lifted the old refrigerator effortlessly with one hand and carried it outside.

'Mike and Bella, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love--'

"Emmett!" Edward yelled, interrupting Emmett's thoughts. He and Jasper were outside, sitting in the grass. Jasper was holding onto a plastic bag with something in it.

"Run, Jasper, run!" Emmett shouted. He stood up and sprinted away into the forest, Jasper following him. Edward growled, dropped the refrigerator on the grass, and stomped back inside.

Esme was still in the kitchen, but she was done putting the new refrigerator in where the old one was. She was now washing the few dishes that Bella had used from when she had come over a few days ago.

"So what's Bella doing today?" Esme asked Edward as he entered the kitchen. He hopped up onto the counter and watched her rinse off a spoon.

"Charlie had the day off so he and Bella spent some time together and then they went to the Clearwater's to have dinner with them and the Blacks," Edward answered. He was a little tense and nervous knowing that Bella was surrounded by werewolves--pups, nevertheless--, and if something happened, he wouldn't find out until later.

"Don't worry, Edward. She'll be fine," Esme reassured. A comfortable silence fell upon them as Esme finished washing the dishes.

"Well," Esme sighed. "I have to go hunting. I'll be back in a few hours," And with that, she left.

Edward sat there a little longer, but soon, boredom started to overcome him.

'What do I do now? Bella's busy, Alice and Rosalie went shopping again, I don't even want to know where Emmett and Jasper ran off to, and Carlisle is still working…'

Edward sighed and hopped down from the counter.

'Guess I have to entertain myself for a while,'

Edward walked into the living room and sat on the couch. He turned the TV on and flipped through all three hundred channels, but didn't find anything appealing. He looked around the room, seeing if there was anything he could do to quench the boredom.

He spotted a mirror hanging on the wall and went to stand in front of it. He started pulling and prodding at his rock hard skin. He studied his golden eyes and his sharp teeth. He even messed with his hair, seeing if he could somehow tame it, but like always, it was done in vain.

"Ugh, this is stupid," He growled to himself. He looked at the mirror again, and something in the background caught his eye.

It was a box, but not just any box.

It was a refrigerator box…meaning it could hold a person inside…

Edward turned around to stare at the box. He walked up to it and scratched his chin, studying it. He even tilted his head to the side just for good measure.

Deciding this may be of use to him, he quickly looked around, making sure nobody saw him, and then dove into the box.

It was wide enough that he could sit cross-legged in it and still be comfortable, and it was tall enough so that if he stood up, all that would be seen was his shoulders and head.

He grinned evilly. 'This could be fun…'

--

"Emmett, he didn't follow us. You can come down, now," Jasper said. He was trying to coax Emmett out of the tree he was hiding in. Emmett thought Edward was following them, so he hid up in the trees.

"Fine," Emmett sighed. "But if he jumps out and kicks our butts, I blame you!"

"Let's just hurry up and go home. We have to take the refrigerator to the pit,"

"Oh yeah! That's right! I almost forgot about that!"

The two of them ran home at vampire speed and stopped by the appliance on the lawn. Emmett picked it up and began walking towards the forest again.

"Alright, this is going to need--" Emmett started, but was interrupted by Jasper.

"Wait, hold on…do you hear that?" Jasper asked suspiciously.

Emmett stopped and listened intently. "No…I don't hear anything,"

"Exactly,"

Emmett and Jasper stared at each other. Emmett slowly put the refrigerator down. He and Jasper slowly walked towards the house, tense and alert for anything that could happen. They entered the house and looked around…

…but nobody was in there.

"Edward should be here…so where did he go?" Jasper asked a loud.

Emmett, sensing there was no danger anymore, said,

"I don't know, but look!" He pointed to a tall box sitting innocently by the foot of the stairs.

Emmett walked towards the box and pulled the flaps back, but suddenly a fist flashed up and punched him in the nose.

"AHHH!" Emmett screamed as he walked backwards and ran into the couch and did a back flip onto the floor.

"Emmett! What happened?" Jasper asked.

"The box punched me!"

Jasper looked towards the box to see bronze hair and two glaring eyes peeping out from the top of the box.

Jasper sighed. "It's just Edward,"

"Oh," Emmett said, calming down. "Well…let's go take the fridge to the pit!"

"Whatever," Jasper said. The two left the house, leaving Edward to his mind once again.

When he was sure they were gone, Edward quickly hopped out of the box and ran around the house picking up paper, tape, a pencil, scissors, and some extra cardboard. He even took the mirror from the bathroom. Just as quickly, he was back in his box.

Edward chuckled evilly to himself. He took the mirror and swiftly broke it into two-inch by two-inch squares. He had constructed the extra cardboard into a periscope and put the little mirrors in place when he heard the door open.

He heard Alice and Rosalie talking to each other about something they saw in a store. Edward lifted the periscope and turned it towards the two girls. They both stopped talking and looked at him curiously.

"Edward? Is that you?" Rosalie asked.

"It's him," Alice answered. "He got bored and when he saw the box, his mind basically went out the window."

Edward brought the periscope down and stood up so just his eyes and hair was seen. His hands were grasping the edge of the box.

"Where did you get that information? Are you some sort of spy?" He asked suspiciously.

Alice and Rosalie chuckled, but that was the wrong thing to do.

Edward's eyes narrowed, and he glared at them. He ducked back into his box. He quickly made a paper hat and put it on his head.

"This means war," He whispered to himself. He then made little paper balls that, when thrown with vampire speed, were deadly. He made a few hundred of them, gathered them in his arms, and then quickly stood up to his full height, and started pelting both girls with them.

"Edward!" Alice shouted when one hit her smack dab in the cheek.

"Stop this right now!" Rosalie shouted. When both of the girls realized nothing would stop him, they made a run for the stairs and sprinted into Alice's room.

Edward, on the other hand, retreated back into his box. He put the remaining paper balls in a corner before pulling out his cell-phone (which now had Internet access!). He went onto the Internet and went onto Ebay. In the search box, he typed in "silly string".

He chuckled evilly. "Everyone's going down…"

--

Emmett and Jasper were at the pit with the fridge. They called it the pit because it was literally a pit. It was a deep hole, and in it they always placed the garbage so they could blow it up. They had set fireworks and some explosives in the pit around the fridge. Now all they had to do was wait until it was nighttime.

"We did a good job," Emmett said. "Now let's go home,"

The two raced home and went inside. However, once they took a step towards the stairs, they were pelted with paper balls.

"What the hell!" Emmett shouted, holding his hands to his face in an attempt to protect it.

"Come on!" Jasper shouted. "Let's go upstairs!" And so, the two of them sprinted up the steps into Jasper's room where they met with the girls.

"What the hell is going on?!" Emmett asked. "We were just pelted with deadly paper balls by a mental Edward!"

"So were we," Rosalie said.

"We need to come up with a plan," Jasper said.

"I know what to do," Alice said, a look of confidence on her face. "But first, we need to get suited up."

"Suited up?" Asked Emmett.

"Trust me," She replied. "You know your paintball suits?"

"Yeah?"

"Put them on, and also grab your paintball guns and plenty of ammo,"

"If you say so,"

The four of them went to their closets and put their suits on and grabbed their guns.

"Okay guys," Alice whispered. "We need to get to the kitchen, so we'll have to sneak out the bedroom window and go in through the kitchen window so Edward won't see us."

(Queue Mission Impossible theme song)

The four of them jumped stealthily from the window to the ground. They crouched down and walked to the kitchen window. Emmett turned in a full circle while he was crouched, like they were breaking into a bank, rather than just going from room to room.

It was becoming darker, so when they clambered into the kitchen window, they looked more like ninjas than vampires.

"Okay," Alice whispered again. "I have ear pieces for everyone. We're going to be setting up stations on all sides of Edward, and we can't just shout out our plans across the room,"

She handed everyone an earpiece and they put them in. "Now, we'll use the couches, the desk, and the hutches for our cover."

"Question," Emmett whispered. "What exactly are we going to do?"

Alice smirked. "We're going to…"

--

Edward heard a truck coming and he quickly got out of the box and ran outside (keep in mind that he still has the paper hat on). He ran up to the driver's side once the truck had stopped.

"Mr. Cullen?" The driver asked. Edward nodded.

"Sign here," The driver held out a clipboard and Edward signed it. "Here you go," The driver gave him a package along with a weird look. "Have a nice day,"

Edward nodded once, saluted him, and then ran back inside.

He dove into his box and opened the package. Inside were six cans of silly string, a paintball gun with extra paintballs, and thirty-six yards of wire that was wound into a circle. It was a weird combination of items, but it was what he needed to stay alive in the war.

He grabbed the wire and climbed out of the box. He placed wire four feet from the box all around it, that way, if anyone tried to get to the box, they would trip and he would then pelt them with different colors of silly string.

He got back in the box and started assembling the paint gun and loading it, when he heard rustling, like something was being pushed. He quickly pushed the periscope up and looked around the room. He saw four homemade shields on all sides of him that were made with furniture from the living room.

He growled and pulled the periscope down. He clutched the paintball gun in his hands and took a deep breath.

"This is it," He whispered to himself. "Never give up until the job is done," He then stood up a little and rested the gun on the edge of the box. He took aim at one of the barriers and shot.

"NOW!" Someone shouted.

All hell broke loose.

Paintballs came from every direction, pelting him and the box. Some would miss target and hit something else, but most of the time they hit.

"Rosalie! Emmett! Go!" Alice shouted.

Rosalie and Emmett shot up and sprinted towards the box. Edward quickly got the silly string and started shooting it at them, trying to occupy them so they wouldn't notice the wire, but Jasper shouted,

"Jump!"

The two vampires jumped and landed right next to Edward. Rosalie shoved his head into the box, and then closed the flaps. Emmett duct taped the box closed.

Edward growled inside the box and started thrashing around. Emmett smirked.

"Mission accomplished."

Suddenly, a door opened, and all the Cullens, except Edward, turned towards the door to see Esme and Carlisle come through.

They stopped and stared at the mess.

"What happened to my house?!" Esme shrieked.

"Umm…" Emmett gulped. "Mental Edward came out, and we had to stop him…"

"So you used paintballs and silly string?!"

"Well, technically, the silly string was Edward's…"

"Where is he, anyways?"

Edward, who had snapped out of his mental state due to his parent's voices, started thrashing around. "Emmett, let me out! I'm fine now!"

"Let him out, Emmett," Carlisle said in a stern voice.

"Aww…okay," Emmett tore the duct tape off and Edward fell onto the ground along with his supplies.

"Alright, kids, I think you owe Esme an apology,"

The Cullen kids stood side by side in front of Esme and mumbled,

"Sorry, mom,"

"Now go clean up this mess," Carlisle said.

They started getting to work, and in the middle of cleaning the floor, Edward turned to Emmett.

"I'm still going to kick your butt for what you were thinking earlier," He said.

Emmett turned to Jasper. "I blame you!"

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So, how was it? I didn't really like the ending, but I suck at endings anyways. I think this one isn't as funny, but it's still pretty good.

Once again, I'll take suggestions!

Review please!

--Panda