Title: Emmett the Maid
Rating: T
Character(s): The Cullens and Bella
Summary: Esme puts Emmett on cleaning duty for making Bella feint. Sort of a sequel to Sweet Victory.
Word Count: 1,429
Note: I know I said I would be writing "Oh Snap!", but I decided that would come later.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight!
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Emmett the Maid
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Emmett sighed sadly as he lay on the couch.
"Why so down, Emmett?" Alice asked, kneeling next to the couch, resting her head on her hand while her elbow was on Emmett's stomach.
Emmett glanced down at her then resumed staring at the ceiling.
"Esme put me on cleaning duty," He answered her sullenly. "Because I "made" Bella feint."
"Oh, because you told her about the money?" Alice asked.
"Yeah,"
Just then, the door opened and in poured Bella and Edward.
Emmett sat up and slightly glared at Bella.
Bella, alarmed and slightly frightened, asked,
"Um, did I do something?"
"No," Edward answered her, glaring back at Emmett. "He's just upset because he got cleaning duty."
"Cleaning duty?"
"He has to clean the house,"
"Why?"
"'Cause I "made" you feint!" Emmett exclaimed, stressing 'made' again.
"Oh…well, I'm sorry," Bella apologized.
"Bella, you don't have to--" Edward started but Emmett cut him off.
"Yeah? Well sorry doesn't quite cut it," He huffed, crossing his arms.
"Oh, Emmett, stop being a baby," Edward said. "It's not that bad!"
"In case you haven't noticed, Edward, this is a big house."
"What if I helped you clean?" Bella suggested suddenly.
"Sure, okay!" Emmett agreed, suddenly happy. He jumped from the couch and gave Bella a bear hug.
"Bella--" Edward started, but once again was cut off.
"Edward, I want to help him," Bella said.
Edward sighed. "Fine. But I'm going to help, too." He announced.
"Now it's a cleaning party!" Emmett exclaimed happily. "Let's go get our supplies!"
(Okay, you may want to look for this music and listen to it now: Quest for the Best. It's from Spongebob :D Trust me, it will be cooler if you listen to it.)
Emmett opened up a cabinet that held three utility belts. He pulled them out and gave Edward and Bella one. He then put his own around his waist, as did Edward and Bella.
Edward grabbed a Windex bottle, twirled it, and put it on his belt. Bella plucked a Swiffer duster and swiftly hook it on her belt. Emmett grabbed a bottle of water and a toothbrush. Edward grabbed paper towels and tucked them to his side. Bella took out a can of air freshener and put it in a pouch like it was a gun. Finally, Emmett brought out three black hats that said 'Cleaning Crew' on it and gave Edward and Bella one. (Just for future reference, they all have the same thing on their belts.)
They put their hats on at the same time, looked at each other, and nodded.
"We may also need these," Edward said, giving Bella and Emmett a walkie-talkie. All three of them clipped them onto their belts.
"Being dramatic is fun!" Emmett exclaimed.
"I know!" Edward said, totally out of character.
"Let's start downstairs! Everyone in!"
The three of them put their hands in.
"Cleaning crew on three," Bella said. "One, two, three, CLEANING CREW!" They shouted.
They ran into the living room. Bella started dusting every surface she could dust. Edward dove in front of the TV in slow motion, pointing the Windex at the TV like it was a gun. He sprayed the TV, and Emmett ran over to wipe the Windex over the TV.
Bella took a lint roller out and swiped it over the couches. Once Edward and Emmett finished changing a bad light bulb, Bella pulled out her walkie-talkie.
"The area seems secure and free of dust and grime," She spoke into it.
"Roger that, Bella," Edward said into his.
"We'll be moving to the kitchen, now, team," Emmett said into his.
"Roger," Bella and Edward said, and the three of them moved to the kitchen like ninjas.
They wiped the table down and cleaned the stove and microwave. Edward pulled out a mop and started mopping while Emmett took his toothbrush and started scrubbing in crevices of the sink and stove. Bella, who was dusting off the cabinets by the fridge, stopped and sniffed the air.
"What's that smell?" She asked. She followed her nose and opened the fridge. She pulled out a jar of mayonnaise. She opened the lid and saw green and blue fuzz growing in it.
"Oh, gross!" She shrieked.
Edward, who had stopped to see what she was doing, sniffed the air.
"Bella," He said slowly. His tone suggested that she was carrying dynamite. "Put the jar down slowly,"
She complied and set it on the ground.
"Emmett…" Edward trailed off.
"I'm on it," Emmett replied. He took out a pair of yellow, rubber gloves and put them on. He then grabbed the jar and quickly, but carefully, put the jar in the trash. He pulled the garbage bag from the garbage can and ran outside to put it on the front lawn.
He ran back inside and announced,
"I think that's it. Now we need to go upstairs,"
So, they went up stairs and started cleaning. Even though they were going at human speed, they were getting down pretty fast. The time killer, though, and the one that exhausted them the most, was cleaning Edward's windows.
"Why do you even have that many windows?" Emmett asked as the three of them sat on the ground leaning against each other's backs.
Edward just grunted in reply.
Emmett sighed. "Man it's exhausting going at a human pace,"
Bella glared at him. "Oh yes, because it's so hard for a vampire," She rolled her eyes.
"Yes, it was!"
"Emmett,"
"Yes?"
"Shut up,"
The three of them sat there, staring at nothing, but then Esme came in.
"Well, Emmett, I see you have some help. Perfect, because the house needs a coat of paint on the outside. It's starting to chip. I want you to go paint it as part of your cleaning duties."
"Okay, mom," Emmett said without complaining.
The three of them got up and went downstairs. They went to a supply closet and got out three pairs of overalls, paintbrushes, and three cans of white paint. Emmett grabbed a latter and even some left over wire from Edward's mental breakdown.
'Mental Edward's the best,' Emmett thought.
Edward glared at him, and the three of the stepped outside.
"Actually, Edward," Emmett said. "I'm glad you have so many windows. Now we have less house to paint!"
"Glad I could help," Edward said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes.
"Okay! This is how it's going to work! Bella will start at the bottom and work her way up. Eddie and I will start at the top and work our way down. Sound good?"
"How many times do I have to tell you?! Don't call me Eddie!"
"Well how many times has my intellect been made fun of?"
"What does your intellect, or lack there of, have to do with calling me Eddie?"
"I don't know," Emmett shrugged. "It just felt like a good time to say that."
Edward and Bella rolled their eyes.
"Now, let's get started!"
Edward and Emmett made their way to the roof while Bella opened a can of paint and got to work.
"Okay, how're we going to do this?" Edward asked.
Emmett showed Edward his thoughts. "That's why we brought the wire!"
"Oh dear Lord," Edward mumbled.
----FIVE MINUTES LATER!!----
Edward was dangling from the wire with a can of paint in one hand and a paintbrush in the other. The wire was wrapped around his waist and Emmett was holding onto the wire, lowering him or lifting him when needed.
"Just think of it as Mission Impossible!" Emmett called down to Edward.
Edward glared up at him and started painting.
That's when things went horribly wrong.
A butterfly passing by distracted Emmett, and he accidentally pulled on the wire just as Edward was dipping his paintbrush in the can. Edward's hand yanked up while the brush was dripping with paint. Paint dripped down onto Bella's hair, and since she was surprised by it, she shrieked, causing Emmett to jump. His grip on the wire slipped, and Edward started plummeting to the ground, but Emmett regained grip. However, Edward dropped the can of paint, and the paint splattered down onto Bella.
She screamed, and Emmett dropped Edward again. This time, Edward expertly landed on his feet and went to Bella.
"Bella!" Emmett shouted, taking a step forward. "I'm--" He started, but his foot hit the open paint can near the edge of the roof. He fell off, and splattered both Edward and Bella.
"EMMETT!" They screamed simultaneously.
Emmett scratched the back of his head nervously. "Eheheh…s-sorry?"
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And that concludes Emmett the Maid! It wasn't my favorite story, but I did like the part where they're getting the belts and stuff!
ALERT!! I have something special planned for the next one shot! Make sure to read the author's note at the beginning on the next one shot!
Review please!
--Panda