Chapter six...
this one is by far the most revealing, filled with disturbing facts and twisted pasts. You will go deep into Sara's mind...
AND... Jake comes into play here! R&R to see what happens when Jake comes over to Sara's place.
The pain was excruciating, it seemed to last forever…
I was trying as hard as I could to reject whatever was in my system, causing all of the maddening pain, but it stayed and raged on getting worse and worse. I lost all tracks of time, all sanity that I had before, all memories started to slip away from me, and the voice kept speaking to me. It kept trying to sooth me, but nothing could sooth me. I could barely think, nor could I talk. I would have taken death gladly at that time and face all of the pains I endured during my entire life with. Anything would have been better than this.
I thought it would never end, but that was only somewhere in the middle of it. It wasn't a burning sensation like the elders had told me of, but worse. It felt as if every muscle was being tortured to its maximum capacity, like every bone was being fractured and broken into tiny pieces, like my blood was being replaced with acid…
It was worse than I would have ever thought, but I knew exactly what was going on, I knew exactly where I was, and I knew exactly who was at my side, holding my hand and rubbing my arm comfortingly. What I didn't know was who I was, why I was there, or what I was supposed to think about this. I couldn't remember anything before the pain. Nothing. I barely knew there was a before.
When the pain finally started to die down I started to hear things I couldn't hear before, feel things that I could only dream to feel, and smell things that were better smelling than the most fancy of dinner dishes. I couldn't open my eyes, but I knew they could see things that were beyond amazing. My lip trembled slightly as the last pang of pain disappeared from my body.
"Sarafine," A whisper came from the man beside me. His voice was amazing; smooth and alluring as any voice could be. It was Rudi's voice. Rudi… My Rudi.
"Rudi, I'm… I made it." I said softly, keeping my body still. "I'm reborn. I made it."
"Yes, you made it. I knew you would. You're strong…" He squeezed my hand. "How do you feel? What do you remember?"
"I feel… powerful. I feel… wonderful." Those words couldn't even begin to express what I was really feeling.
"Good, Sarafine… what do you remember?"
I thought about that, but like during the change there was no before.
"Hmm… I remember you." I thought of something else. "I remember this,"
I reached out, opening my eyes slowly to look for him, and held my hand up to the side of his face.
His jawline was strong and masculine, all boyish features gone. Dark shaggy hair framed his perfect olive shaded face and light grey eyes. He looked like a god. He wasn't wearing any shirt or weapons belt, but it was fine. His body was more than well developed.
Sitting up slightly, I pulled his lips to mine.
He wasn't hesitant like I would have thought, but willing ang gentle. His movements were slow and very light, like he didn't want to hurt me, but I didn't want that. I was strong, diffidently strong enough for him. And I wanted more…
Rudi laughed against my lips.
"You're thoughts are amusing. Do you really mean them?" His voice was teasing.
The dim light in the room wasn't much of a problem; I could see just fine in it. I hadn't noticed, but I was on top of a very comfortable bed.
How convenient, I thought almost out loud hoping Rudi could hear the words. He chuckled again and leaned over me, covering my body with his, but putting none of the weight on me. This time when he kissed me, he was urgent and strong. I gave back just as much, tangling my hands in his hair and pulling him closer.
He had no trouble tarring the rough cloths off of my body and I had no trouble with his. In a matter of minutes the mad kissing turned into mad sex. I felt happy and light, but not free. There was something wrong, deep inside, but I didn't try to surface it like I usually would. I pushed it away and pulled myself closer to Rudi.
He laughed, his warm breath brushing my cheek lightly.
"I told you you'd thank me later…
I opened my eyes slowly only to find they were wet and sticky from crying. I was still sobbing, body trembling from the power of the cries. I felt utterly repulsed and disgusted to have to relive that memory.
I hated having to feel his skin on mine again. I would never touch Rudi like that ever again; it was the worst thing to experience in my opinion. The pain was more enjoyable, but that's not what my subconscious thought. The thought of his body grinding against mine sent chills down my spine, but not the good kind- the kind that hurt.
I sat up in my bed and looked around the room. It was a mess as usual, but not as bad as it normally was. I thought about that for a second only to remember that the phone had rang before I could really start to mess things up.
Getting up awkwardly, I walked to the phone to listen to the recorded message. It was from Bella, like all the others, but this one started out different. Instead of Bella being bored and timid, she was some what panicked.
"Sara, you have to listen to me. Stop this right now, we need to talk. What happened with Leah… she was stupid and idiotic and… she was being Leah! You shouldn't let that get in the way of anything. I miss you at school. Alice misses you, even Rose has been complaining at your absence. We need you here. Sara, I need you.
"Most of all… Jake needs you-"
That's where I cut it off, I didn't need to hear about Jake.
Jake.
Lately he's all that's been on my mind. I couldn't get him out of my head, nor could I get that annoying hollow feeling in my chest to dull down or go away. It kept pulling at me to the point where at night, I started to wander towards his house. I couldn't really help myself, but I found a weird type of comfort in having him near me. I spent a very long time thinking about what I should do about hi, and came up with nothing.
I couldn't leave him; I would only come crawling back. I couldn't avoid him; he always had a way of showing up either in my head or around town. I couldn't find someone else; there was no one else for me. And I couldn't just let myself have him; that's… I just can't.
I hadn't gone to school for about a week and a-half, it was Wednesday and I still haven't gone to get any of my school work. I didn't care anyway. I've been to school over hundreds of times. When you're a rouge werewolf, you have the time for that sort of thing. I would have to go back some time, or I could just move away and forget all about this.
It was a possibility, but I had too strong of a love for this town. Leaving it all behind would be really hard.
Jared had returned the car a few days ago, but I had nowhere to go in it. Going into town could lead to me running into Bella, one of the Cullen's, or The Pack- what the shape-shifters called themselves. I was imprisoned in my house basically, just without the bars and angry guards.
The phone rand loudly on the receiver next to me, causing me to jump a bit, but I wasn't really paying attention. The caller ID said it was Black, but I didn't know any Black. Probably a wrong number, wouldn't do any harm to answer it, I thought to myself as I reached for the phone. In truth, I needed contact with some living thing.
It was too late when I finally remembered who Black was, his voice boomed over the phone.
"Sara? Thank god you answered the phone." Jake breathed a sigh of relief, but just as I was about to put the phone on the receiver he begged me: "Please don't hang up on me."
I thought about it, but ended up putting the phone back to my ear.
"What do you want, Jake?" My voice was weak and horse, obvious that I had been crying.
"I'm so sorry, please forgive me! Leah was being stupid. I've yelled at her time and time again, she knows what was wrong with what she did. Sara, the pack doesn't think anything less of you because of what you do. You must not know much about us, but we're a lot like you. We kill vampires too, we always have. It's what we were born to do."
"Jake," I tried to find the right words. "It's not the pack really. You don't understand- I couldn't care less about Leah."
"Then help me understand. Please, you don't know what this is doing to me!"
It was wrong the things his voice did to me.
"Jake… you can't understand. There's nothing you can do about it. I have to go-" I pulled the phone down.
"No!"
It was too late, I had my finger on the end button. With a quick yank, I pulled the cord to the phone out and took the batteries out of the phones themselves. I couldn't talk to him anymore; I was too close to giving in.
I sat down on the couch, put my head on my crossed arms and started to cry again. It was the only thing I knew what to do in this kind of situation. I would have killed myself if I would die, but it would only leave a mess for me to clean up. I've already tried it all: fire, guns, the Shynx…
None of it works.
It seemed like hours later when a strong knock pounded against my door and the doorbell started to annoyingly ring. I didn't have to look out the window or even open the door to know it was Jake- the feeling in my chest gave it away. I couldn't help the light feeling that started to take my body over. I wanted desperately to open the door and cling to him- I knew he'd provide some sort of comfort. But I stayed on the couch and took various deep breaths to control myself.
"Please, I know you're in there. Please don't ignore me, Sara." His voice was soft and almost hurt.
It was too much. I was already way past the breaking point, there was no point in causing myself more pain. I got out of the seat, wiping my sleeve across my face to dry most of the tears away, and walked to the door, shoulders squared.
After taking one steadying breath, I unbolted the door and pulled it open, making sure to keep my eyes on the ground. I saw his legs, which wore bear and covered in dirt. Probably from running through the forest or whatever it was that shape-shifters did. The warm feeling started to fill me up, but I did my best to forget about it.
"What do you want, Jake? I have… things to do." I tried to make my voice as soft as possible.
"Sara, sitting alone in your living room crying isn't 'things to do'." His voice was music to my ears no matter how much I tried to reject the thought. "Sara, You have to tell me what's going on."
"Nothing's going on. Now would you leave?" I said in a strong voice.
I started to close the door, but Jake held out his arm and shoved it back against the wall in an angry motion. My eyes went wide as I looked from the door to his arm. He was very strong- stronger than I would have thought. I still avoided his eyes.
"Stop this! Sara," He started while pulling his hand up to grab my chin and forcing me to meet his eyes. "I need you to look at me! Sara, you don't understand anything!"
He sounded like a lost puppy would if it could speak- sad and on the brink of insanity. His face looked even worse. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair looked unkempt like he hadn't slept well in a long time. His eyes were full of sorrow and longing.
Longing for what though? I couldn't think very straight with the power of his skin on mine and his eyes holding mine. It was unbelievably comfortable and warm. I absolutely loved the feeling of his skin on mine- I lost control.
Breathing a soft sigh of happiness, I leaned my head in so that his had was actually cradling my face, and closed my eyes. I felt so at ease that I didn't care what the consequences were for doing it. For once, I let myself enjoy what I gad.
A tear ran down my cheek involuntarily, and others seemed to follow soon after that. I was far beyond lost in this fight. Jake had a weird hold on my heart; being away from him had made me feel incomplete and lonely. Having my personal sun to brighten those dark corners of my past was more than I deserved, but I was glad to have it.
"I'm sorry Jake," I whispered while he pulled me close to him.
That was a whole new level of close, which brought a whole new level of making my heart do flips and weird chills- the good ones this time- run down my spine. He held my body close to his, so that I fit perfectly against him. He was warm, but I felt so cold.
There were something's that I couldn't fix and some of those were: (1) my past. (2) What I was. (3) My undying love for the boy I had only known for two weeks. Those three things were going to stay with me to the grave, I knew that for sure at that moment.
"Sara, please… let me explain some things. We need to talk." Jake whispered soothingly, rubbing my back lightly.
"There's nothing to talk about, Jake. I've been going through some things lately." I pulled away from his, forcing myself not to cling to him at that very moment. "I don't care about what you are the… pack are. I know that you kill vampires and save innocent, or whatever you see it as, but that doesn't change things-"
I had almost said my feeling, but I knew that that would bring a whole new level of questioning I didn't want.
"That's not what I want to talk about. Well, not mainly." He pulled a hand through his hair and sighed. "Can I come in?"
I stepped out of the door way and motioned him to the living room. After closing and re-bolting the door, I joined him. He was sitting on the love seat, elbows on knees, head resting on hands. He looked tired and vulnerable, but he had something to say, and he was determined to say it.
I sat awkwardly next to him, staring at the coffee table.
"Where do I begin?" He asked.
I thought about that. "The easiest thing to talk about."
"Okay, fine then. Sara, what really is going on with you? You won't come out of your house, you're ignoring Bella's phone calls, you've been crying…" He looked off for a bit. "Sara, I need to know what's going on with you. I need to know what's troubling you. You have no idea how crazy this is making me…" His voice faded away at the end.
"Jake, I'm having trouble. That's it." I put flatly, playing with my fingers.
"What's troubling you?"
I couldn't lie to him, but the truth was way out of the question. I'd have to go with the half-truth. "I' remembering. Just things from my old life, that's all. It wasn't a happy time for me."
"Like what?" He asked, staring at me with those big eyes.
"Do you really want a life story? A lot of people died, that's it." I wasn't in the mood to talk about my life. Not at all. "Next question."
He stared at me for what seemed like hours but could only have been a few minutes.
"Why's you run? I thought you would be prepared for shocks like seeing giant wolves." His voice was a little bit lighter, but there was a weird restriction behind it.
He was afraid that I was scared of him.
I swallowed. "Next question,"
"Why? That's a perfectly goo question. Were you afraid of us? That's perfectly fine, we won't think less of you."
"Next question," I pressed.
In my mind I answered: I figured out I loved you and ran.
Tell him that.
I jumped, looking around the room to see who could have said that. It wasn't Jake; his mouth was still as he thought hard about something. I looked in all the corners, but there was no place that a voice like that. It was almost in my head, behind my ear, and crystal-clear like a voice of reason.
"What?" I asked the air in an almost silent voice.
You can trust him, Sarafine. You can tell him everything. He'll understand.
Oh really, I asked mentally? And why would you think that?
Because, the voice went on answering my thoughts. He's your soul mate, Sarafine Belldove. He loves you more than you love him.
You're insane, I laughed mentally. What would make you think-
I stopped, almost hitting myself for responding to a little voice in my head. Why would I do that? Had I really lost all my marbles and now I was just going under?
Of course not, Sarafine. Don't you remember? I helped you get out of the Macctash castle when you were escaping. The little voice who gave you direction to use your sixth sense?
I tried to ignore it, but it was getting louder and louder. I did remember the voice just fine, I just didn't want to think I was crazy.
Sarafine, you were meant to be with Jacob. He was made for you, and you him. Just tell him what you're feeling; he'll explain why that is. Tell him everything.
"Sara, I need to know something." Jake announced, catching my attention.
"Hmm?" I asked, waiting for the annoying voice to buzz in, but all was silent. "Yea, what is it?"
He took a breath in and tried to find a way to way to word what he was thinking. Finally he just turned towards me and looked me straight in the eye. Eye contact was amazing and frightening at the same time, like I was really getting lost somewhere in the pool of warm brown…
"What do you feel when I do this? Just looking me in the eye," His question was very strange, but I felt as if I had to answer.
Tell him.
I felt as if I was being pushed to tell him what was really on my mind. Something was physically willing me to answer him with all of the truth. I couldn't really control the words that poured out of my mouth.
"I feel… overwhelmed." It was really hard to explain. "… And warm."
"Good, now what about when I do this?" Jake asked as he grabbed my hand between his.
The skin contact sent small shivers of pleasure through me and warmed me to the core, better than anything ever could.
"um… very, very warm. Better," I couldn't make a real sentence.
"Do you have this weird feeling in your chest? It's like a very warm feeling, overfilling." His words sent off an alarm in my head and I was snapped out of whatever trance I was just in.
I pulled my hand out of his and stood up trying to get a little farther away from him.
"How did you know that? Are you doing this to me?! Stop it, stop it right now!" I backed away while Jake tried really hard to quiet me.
I was about to run to my room for my Shynx, still yelling at him, when he clapped a hand over my mouth and pushed his body against mine.
My eyes went wide in shock as his skin touched my lips, it was too much. Way too far for me to handle. I was slowly losing the grip on control that I had before. His body was hot against mine, still warming me all over. My eyes locked on his lips, which were only inches from mine.
"Listen, I'm not doing this to you! Now, settle down and act like a normal human being for just once." He started to pull his hand down from my mouth.
"Well," I shot as soon as I could speak again. "If you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly a 'normal human being'."
"You're not human at all. I know what you really are, that's one of the things we need to talk about." He said it so casually, but inside I was having a panic attack. "Right now we have to talk about us."
I tried to grasp for words, but I couldn't seem to pull my head together. When The synapses to my brain finally started to work again, I thought of the thing I would usually say if I wasn't freaking out.
"There is no us." My voice betrayed me.
It made it clear that there was an us. There was diffidently an us and it wasn't just something minor.
"Sara, shape-shifters do something called imprinting," That word, I remember it from the conversation the wolf Leah and Jake were having. "It's when we find our mates. It's when we find who we're meant to be with. Really, it's when we find our soul mates."
Told you so.
The voice added a strange giggle at the end that made me want to rip it out of my head.
"Yea, so what? What does that have to do with me?" I asked both of them, the voice and Jake.
"Because, I've imprinted on you!" Jake screamed like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
My mouth dropped open a bit as I tried to piece that back together. He said he… imprinted on me. But what did that really have to do with the situation? How did he know what I really was? What the hell was going on with my life?!
"Sara, I know you really don't know me, but I know I-" Jake had to gather his courage again to continue. "I know I love you!"
The last three words rang through my head over and over again in a never ending shouting of the words.
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!!!
"No, no no no no! No, this can't be happening!" I got free of jakes grip and stumbled forward with my hands on my ears, trying to block out the noise. "Why him? Why would you do this to me?!"
I screamed almost at nothing. Why did he have to love me back? Why couldn't I just live alone. It was one thing risking my life every day trying to stay clear of Rudi or any werewolves, now I'd have to worry about him. If Rudi figured out… he'd have Jake killed for sure. If they found me with him…
Why'd it have to be him?! Why would a fair universe force my burden on him?
But, that's right. This isn't a fair universe. This is the universe that kills babies in the womb and lets little children get kidnapped. This is the universe that killed my mom and gave my dad to the werewolves, only to become the leader of a ruthless Turkish gang of werewolves that kills without mercy. This is the universe that let me live when I should have died over three-hundred years ago!
"Jake, how could you love me? I'm not good for you in any way! You don't want me!" I screamed, tears running down my cheeks.
"Sara! Calm down, you're acting like a child!" His voice was booming over mine and had a weird tone that made me shrink down in fear.
"Why him? Why would you curse him like that?" I asked in a lower voice to whatever was listening.
I sat down on the couch, ready to give myself to the night, even though it was only three of the clock. With one jerking motion I looked at Jake critically.
"You said you knew what I was. How could you say you love me when you know?!"
He looked to me with big eyes and whispered: "I'd love you even if you were a vampire. Being a werewolf doesn't bother me at all."
"How?!" I thought about something and shook my head. "You wouldn't say that if you knew my past. You wouldn't say that if you knew what I've done."
"There's not one thing in the world that could make me love you less. I don't care if you've killed, I'll love you all the same." There was a strange glint in his eyes that made it clear he was not lying.
"How could you say that with such truth? Jake, how?" I was diffidently on the edge of hysteria.
Learning I was in love was one thing, but learning the other loved me just as much, possibly more… It was too much. I wasn't made for these kind of shocks.
Jake moved gracefully until his face was mere inches from mine. My eyes focused in on his eyes, even though they wanted to stare at his lips. He grabbed my shoulders tightly and gave me a light shake.
"I love you, because you are you. You're smart, strong, cunning, independent… you're everything I've ever wanted in a girl. But, the most important thing is, I love being with you. You're light spirited when you want to be, and know how to have fun. Now, can you tell me what's not to love there?"
I didn't know how to respond to that, the feeling of his breath on my face was overwhelming and made my head go a bit fuzzy. I wanted to kiss him so badly. The pull of the imprint was urging me to move forward, to take what I had. Common sense told me to stay put, but it was slowly fading away.
I could barely manage to get one word out, but, somehow, I managed to get out an almost complete sentence.
"I love you too, but-"
The rest of the sentence was stopped when his lips met mine.
It was better than anything I had ever experienced. I wasn't expecting it completely so my mouth was still slightly open from what I was saying before, but that was more of an advantage than a problem. At first I was hesitant, refusing to do anything else but sit there while he wrapped his arms around me, but slowly… I gave in, closed my eyes, and joined him. Soon, we were both moving our lips in steady movements; strong and fast, but still gentle and loving.
That wasn't even the half of it though. The kiss had more than that to it. The shivers that usually raced through my body at his contact had amplified to the most pleasurable and amazing sensation I had ever felt. Words couldn't explain it properly, but at that moment, I knew that there was no other way to live my life, than to live it with him. He was my everything, and my only thing. We belonged together more than any ordinary couple possibly could. We were already closer than two people could get, but we had only known each other for two weeks.
Somewhere in the middle of the smooth kissing, the animal that took over half of my body seemed to emerge, and the same with him. The soft movements became rough and where we held each other lightly before, we were clinging to the other with steel strength grips. I opened my lips and let him trace his tongue along my teeth- again, better than ever imagined- and brought him closer.
I couldn't help the visions that appeared in my head. My sixth sense seemed to have half of my mind at the moment, but instead of mapping out fighting strategies, it… well… became more of an overactive imagination. I saw many of the things I could do with him, some beautiful and loving, others cruel and monstrous. Almost every possible scenario played out in my mind.
One in distinct made me shiver in fear.
One of them wanted his blood, wanted it in my mouth, where sweet substance belonged.
No, I thought to myself, trying to control those thoughts. You're better than that.
Answer it.
I had nearly forgotten about that little voice in my head…
Right when I was about to ask what it meant, an annoying ringing came from Jakes back pocket. I groaned internally.
What, you can see the future too now?
Jake didn't pull away, but I managed to push him away slightly on the third ring.
"You should answer it. It could be important." My voice was small and disappointment coated it thickly, but I was going to listen to the little voice this time.
Jake groaned and pulled the old cell phone out of his pocket reluctantly. It didn't look like the expensive kind that most teenagers had, but an old battered up block. I think I liked that look more than the new and sleek.
He pulled it to his ear. "Yes, can I help you?"
His voice was slightly bitter, but as soon as the other voice came in he lost all traces of that.
It was Sam, and there was something big going on.
"Jake, we have Victoria's scent. She's down by the beach on the right rez! You have to get down here quick! Meet us out there, now."
The phone went dead and Jake got a determined look set in his face. I was lost, but from the sound of it, Victoria was a leech that presented a large amount of danger to these boys.
Which meant she was a danger to Jake.
Before I really even knew what I was doing I had my Shynx in hand and was pulling off my light jacket. I was going to help them, but from the look on Jakes face, he wasn't going to make that easy.
"What exactly are you doing?" He asked blocking the door with his fore arm.
I looked up at him sternly. "I'm going to help you kill the leech. Do you have a problem?"
"You're not going. It's dangerous-" I cut him off with a bitter laugh.
"Cute, really cute. If you don't recall, this is my job. I have to do this." I thought then added: "Especially if Victoria poses any danger to you or the pack."
"Just let us handle this, she's on Quileute lands. It's our job to keep that land safe. Sara, Just stay here and I'll come straight back after… we finish this."
I cleared my throat. "She's near the beach, which means she's near water. You won't be able to do too much if she gets in, but I can. She won't escape."
He looked at me puzzled. "I thought werewolves could only turn at night."
"I'm special I guess. Get me pissed, and I'll be ready for the fight in a matter of seconds. We don't have time to go through this now, let's go."
I moved his arm with almost all the force I had and started towards my car, but when I thought about it, it wasn't fast enough. The car only navigated roads- I would need to run.
I looked at the sky and cursed, I still had a good few hours until six when changing, would be easy and full. I could let the beast out when it was daytime, but only the strength really showed. My running wouldn't be much help here.
Jake looked at me crookedly, then sighed, obviously giving into something.
"Wait here, I'll be right back."
Before I could argue he ran into the surrounding forest. I got ready to get in my car and drive when I heard the sound that Leah made when she changed, followed by a howl and footsteps- paws- coming my way. I tucked my Shynx through my belt-loop securely and looked for the wolf Jake.
He was still as graceful and beautiful as he had been that day on the beach, but this time he looked more controlled. I wasn't quite sure what was going on, but I didn't want to jump to conclusions. He stood as tall as he would as a human, his dark eyes looking down to mine.
Get on, he's offering you a ride.
Huh, what do you-, I thought back, but when I saw the wolf turn sideways I understood what he wanted.
He was going to… carry me there.
I got on his furry back gracefully and took a fist full of hair to keep myself steady. I hadn't spent much time on mounting so this was a bit awkward for me.
Wow, this feels better than I thought it would. (Jake)
I smiled as he took off into the forest, me right along side him…
I have everything planned out for the next chapter, and it's going to be BIG! I mean plot changing, life changing, this one is going to completely change the veiw you had on Sara.
Do you hear that? The little green buttons screaming "Click Me!!!". Click it, leave a comment, and I will give you an early viewing of the next chapter!
Please? (Puppy dog eyes)