SPECIAL DELIVERY!!

It's the tenth anniversary (tenth story, actually) of Vampiristic Humor! So, in honor of that, I wrote a special! Yay!

Title: Cullen Kids
Rating: K
Character(s): The Cullens and Bella
Summary: Oh no! The super-crazy-mentally-ill scientist has turned the Cullens into kids! Not only that, but they will remain that way for three days! And to make things worse, they're human! Bella takes it upon herself to take care of them until they return to normal. "Ah! I'm a kid! You're a kid! We're all kids! AH!"

Word Count: 3,582

Disclaimer: Emmett! Do the disclaimer!

Emmett: Why do I have to?!

Me: Because I said so!

Emmett: -sigh- fine! PI does not own me, my family, friends, or anything else to do with us! Jeez, people…

Me: Emmett! Be nice! –smiles sweetly- Enjoy!

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Cullen Kids

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The Cullens (minus Carlisle and Esme, they're not in this story) were sitting on the couch in the living room, playing on their X-box, when suddenly…

THE SUPER-CRAZY-MENTALLY-ILL SECIENTIST POPS OUT!

"Ah ha!" He yelled. He had on a blue lab coat, and his hair resembled Mozart's hair…

"Who are you?!" Emmett asked as he stood up and pointed a finger at him.

"Me?" The scientist chuckled. His face suddenly got dark. "I'm your worst nightmare,"

He then took out a special ray gun and pointed it at the Cullens.

"What's that?" Emmett asked.

"It's a special gun I invented. It will change all of you into human kids for three days! Muwhahahaha!" He answered with an evil laugh and zapped them with the gun before leaving.

All of them passed out, and they started changing…

---ONE HOUR LATER!!--- (Just a heads up, the Cullens are either six or seven)

Edward was the first to wake up.

"Ugh," He grumbled in a (cute) boy's voice that was higher than his usual voice. "What's going on? My voice! What's with my voice! Guys! Wake up!" He said as he started pushing everyone so they'd get up.

"What's going on?" Emmett asked in a daze. He took one look at Edward and screamed.

"Ah! You're a kid!" He stopped when he heard his voice. He looked down at himself. "I'm a kid!" He looked at everyone else. "We're all kids! AH!"

"Emmett!" A high-pitched voice shrieked. Rosalie stood up and smacked him over the head with her tiny hands. "Stop screaming!" She crossed her arms in smug satisfaction.

"Does anyone remember what happened?" Edward asked. He wasn't very happy about being a little kid. A human kid, nevertheless.

"I do," A new boy's voice said. Everyone looked to see Jasper sitting on the ground with his arms crossed. His blonde hair was shorter, but it was still shaggy.

"Remember the scientist?" Another high-pitched voice squeaked. Alice stood up. She hadn't changed that much. She shrunk about a foot or two and her hair was just cropped shorter. But her voice did get higher. "He changed us, and now we're stuck like this for three days,"

"This isn't fair!" Rosalie whined. She sat on the ground and started pouting with her arms crossed.

"We'll just have to wait it out," Edward suggested. "In the mean time, I should call Bella. Maybe she can help us…" Edward trailed off as he went to the phone.

---FIVE MINUTES LATER!!---

Edward stood under the phone that was attached to the wall. He glared at it. 'Damn this tiny body,' he cursed. He stood on his tiptoes and reached with all his might for the phone. However, it wasn't enough.

He huffed and looked around for an idea. His gaze landed on a chair from the dining room. He went over and started pushing it towards the phone. When he had it in the right spot, he climbed onto the chair. He stood up and was at the right height to grab the phone off its receiver. He turned it on and dialed Bella's phone number.

"Hello?" Bella asked through the phone.

"Bella!" Edward exclaimed in his young boy's voice. "It's Edward!"

Bella chuckled. "Riiight…and I'm a vampire,"

"Bella, it's really me!" He then went on to explain what happened.

"Did the super-crazy-mentally-ill scientist have hair like Mozart's?" She asked.

"Yeah, I think so."

"I know him!"

"How?"

"He did the same thing to my cousin,"

"Oh…so are you coming over?"

"Of course! I'll be right over!"

"Thank you so much, Bella! I love you!"

Bella giggled. "It's weird with your voice like that, but I love you too!" She hung up.

Edward's eye started twitching.

MEANWHILE…

Upstairs, Rosalie and Alice were looking at themselves in the mirror.

"Oh my God!" Rosalie groaned. "I'm so…normal," She said the word like it was a disease.

"We're so tiny! We won't be able to drive, to shop--" She stopped. "We won't be able to shop…" Reality sunk in, and she screamed.

Rosalie cringed and covered her ears.

"Wait!" Alice suddenly stopped. "I can still shop online!" She smiled and ran down the stairs, but she wasn't a vampire, so she ran as fast as her six year old legs could. By the time she was at the computer, she was huffing and puffing.

"What's going on?!" Jasper asked, alarmed. Suddenly, he felt something clinging to his side.

"Oh, Jasper!" Alice cried into his waist. "It's horrible! I can't even run down the stairs before I get tired! And I can only shop online for three, long, miserable days! And…oh, Jasper!" She finished. Jasper hugged her back and muttered soothing words to her.

Emmett went over and sat down on the bottom step. "It's not that bad," He said.

Rosalie, who had come downstairs, punched him on the arm.

"Ow!" He cried. "What was that for?!"

"How can you say 'it's not that bad' ?!" She replied.

Edward came running in just then apparently over his twitch fit. "Okay, Bella's coming over, so let's not panic. Just do whatever it is you do, but remember, we have limits now." He warned.

"Come on, Jasper," Alice sniffed. "Let's go shop online,"

"Want to play tag, Rose?" Emmett asked.

"Tag? Really?" Rosalie replied.

"Yeah!"

She shrugged. "Okay." She tagged Emmett. "You're it!" She squealed and started running through the house.

"Hey!" He yelled, chasing her.

Edward sighed and went to wait for Bella. A few minutes later, he heard the roar of her engine. It stopped, and a few seconds later the door opened and she walked in.

Edward stood in front of her, his tiny arms crossed, and he stared up at her.

Bella stopped and stared back at him before lowering to her knees.

"Edward?" She asked.

"Yeah?"

She squealed. "Oh my God! You weren't kidding!" She stopped talking and stared into his eyes for a long time. "Your eyes are green," She said softly.

"What?!" Edward shrieked. He grabbed her hand and they ran to a mirror. He stared at himself and blinked. She was right. "Whoa…"

They stepped back to the living room. The rest of the Cullen kids gathered and stood in front of Bella.

Bella grinned. "You guys are so cute!"

They rolled their eyes, but then Emmett's stomach growled. The Cullens stared at him.

"What was that?" He asked Bella worriedly.

"That's your stomach," Bella said. "You're probably hungry. I bet all of you are. Come on, I'll make you some dinner,"

She walked out of the room with the Cullens following her like ducklings follow their mom.

Once in the kitchen, the Cullens sat down at the table while Bella scratched her head in thought.

"What do kids like to eat?" She mumbled to herself. She looked through the cabinets, but they didn't have much.

She sighed. "I'll have to go grocery shopping--"

"Can we come with you?" Emmett asked, his eyes wide.

Bella tried to resist, she really did, but she couldn't. "Okay, let's go,"

"Yay!" He exclaimed and the six of them went to Bella's truck. Bella got in the driver's side and the five kids climbed in on the other side. They were sort of squished, and Edward was pressed against Bella's side (not that he minded), but it would have to do.

Rosalie reached forward to turn the radio on. She switched stations a few times, but when she didn't find anything worth listening to, she just sighed and turned it off.

"So how long are you guys stuck like this?" Bella asked as she turned into the grocery store.

"Three days," Edward answered sullenly.

Bella parked the truck, and she and the Cullens got out. Emmett skipped a little ways ahead of them as they entered the store.

Bella grabbed a cart and started pushing it, but then she felt a tug on her jeans. She looked down and Emmett was giving her the puppy eyes.

"Can Jasper and I please push the cart?" He asked.

"Okay," Bella said, melting.

"Can Rosalie and I ride in the cart?!" Alice asked excitedly.

"Sure," Bella chuckled and lifted them into the cart. They immediately started talking and giggling.

Bella felt someone take hold of her hand, and she looked down to see Edward grinning at her. She grinned back, and they made their way down the first aisle.

"They don't know what any of this tastes like, so I'll have to wing it," Bella muttered to herself. She started grabbing boxes and putting them in the cart next to Alice and Rosalie.

The next aisle was the frozen food section. Bella stopped at one fridge pulled out two pizzas.

"Every kid likes pizza," She said. She also grabbed some ice-cream before going down the next aisle.

This one had junk food. She grabbed a bag of chips and some pop.

"What's that?" Edward asked, pointing to a Hershey's candy bar.

"It's chocolate," Bella answered. She saw Edward's questioning look and she knelt down to explain. "Chocolate is sweet, and most people have it as a special treat. Some people even get it when they're sad. All in all it's really good…do you want to try some?"

Edward stared at her with wide eyes. "Sure, if that's okay,"

She chuckled. "It's fine," She grabbed a big bar of chocolate so then everyone could try some.

They continued shopping, Bella pulling items off the shelf randomly and putting them in the cart. Edward even carried a jug of orange juice when it wouldn't fit in the cart.

"Bella!" Emmett whined. "I'm hungry!"

"We're going to be leaving soon, okay?" She replied.

"Okay!"

Bella rolled her eyes.

While they were shopping, she started noticing people staring at them, and it made her feel nervous. One time, a girl came up to her.

"I'm sorry to bother you…your kids are just SO cute!" She squealed before walking away.

"But their not my--" She stopped and sighed.

This happened a couple times, and she just said 'thank you' and went her way.

Finally, they were done. She checked out, and everyone carried a bag back to the truck. They climbed in and before Bella started the truck, she dug around through the bags until she found the chocolate.

"Found it!" She exclaimed. She opened it and broke it up into five equal pieces and gave everyone a piece. "Go on, try it!"

They tentatively bit off a piece, chewed it, and then swallowed.

Edward stared at Bella in disbelief and shock. "That's good," He said.

Alice groaned in delight while Rosalie 'mmm'ed.

"This is very good, Bella," Jasper said. Emmett just nodded in agreement.

"Glad you guys like it," Bella replied as she pulled out of the parking lot. She headed back to the Cullen mansion. She pulled up to the house, and once again, everyone carried a bag inside. They placed them on the floor and then sat back down at the table.

Bella started rummaging through them, all the while mumbling to herself.

"Should I make them hamburgers? Or maybe pizza? What about pasta? Oh! I know! Hamburgers, macaroni and cheese, and some fruit…yeah, that'll work."

She then pulled out some hamburger meat, a couple boxes of Mac and cheese, and some different fruits she had bought. She started with boiling some water in a pot for the pasta. She took out the hamburgers, shaped them into patties, and put them on a pan and started cooking them. She found a cutting a board and a knife and started cutting up some kiwi, watermelon, cantaloupe, and some strawberries. She put them in a big bowl and put it on the table. She gave each of the Cullens a fork before saying,

"Try it, it's fruit. It's good, and it's healthy for you."

She turned back to the stove as the Cullens picked up their forks.

Emmett grasped the fork in his tiny hands and stabbed a piece of watermelon and stuck it in his mouth. The rest of them held their breath and watched as Emmett chewed the food.

SUDDENLY!

Out of the blue, Emmett started choking. He coughed and pounded on his chest, and his eyes started to water.

"Bella!" Rosalie shrieked.

"What's wrong?" She asked from around the corner. She took one look at Emmett, and screeched.

"Emmett!" She ran over to him and started hitting his back. He wheezed some more before coughing up his food. On the table was a pink lump and a black seed.

"Trying to kill me, woman?" Emmett accused, sitting back in his chair while gasping for breath.

"Emmett!" Edward growled—er…well, he tried to growl.

"I guess I forgot to tell you," Bella said sheepishly. "Watermelon have seeds in them and you have to spit them out."

"You forgot to tell me, huh?" Emmett asked sarcastically and dubiously.

"Oh, just drop it, Emmett," Edward said, rolling his eyes. Bella chuckled nervously and went back to the kitchen to continue making dinner.

Emmett huffed. "Yeah, sure, okay. I'll just drop her almost killing me, no problem," He grumbled and stabbed another piece of watermelon. This time, he smirked and turned towards Jasper and spit the seeds at him. The seed flew and hit Jasper smack dab on the cheek.

Jasper's eye started twitching, and he furiously stabbed at a watermelon and stuck it in his mouth. As he was chewing, he turned towards Emmett and smirked at his laughing form. He then spit three seeds at him, which hit him on throat, face, and arm.

"Hey!" He shouted, his laughing fit over. Now it was Jasper's turn to laugh. Of course, Emmett wasn't having any of that, and stuck another piece of fruit in his mouth and spit the seeds at Jasper. Jasper glared at him and was about to get more ammo, but suddenly the bowl disappeared.

Jasper and Emmett looked up to see Bella glaring down at them, the bowl of fruit in her hands above her head.

"If you can't eat fruit without spitting it at each other, then you won't have fruit, period." She said. "So stop spitting the seeds at each other,"

"Yes, Bella," Emmett and Jasper said at the same time.

"Alright," She smiled sweetly. "Good news! Dinner is done!"

She went back to the kitchen and grabbed the plates that already had food on them. She put them in front of the kids before going back to grab condiments for the burgers.

"Dig in!" She said, and they each started taking small bites of the food on their plates. All of them liked it, except for Alice, who didn't like the Mac and cheese very much.

After dinner, the Cullens went upstairs to their bedrooms while Bella cleaned up the mess. She was used to this, of course, so she didn't mind.

As she was washing a plate, she couldn't help but think,

'Today went exceptionally well, considering what happened to them,' She sighed. 'Two more days…'

---DAY TWO!!---

It was around noon, and the Cullens and Bella were outside soaking up the sun that decided to shine today.

While the boys were throwing around a football, Bella decided to show Alice and Rosalie how to play hopscotch.

Alice and Rosalie followed Bella to the sidewalk. Bella was carrying a piece of chalk, and when she found a good spot, she started drawing the squares that made up the hopscotch game. She numbered them and then grabbed three rocks.

"Okay, this game is called hopscotch. You throw the rock and try to get it to land on the first square," She demonstrated what she just said by tossing the rock on square one. "Then, you hop over the square and continue hopping," She did so, got to the end, and turned around and came back. "Now, once you come back to the square your rock is on, you have to pick it up, and then you can hop on the square and finish." She did just that, and stood next to Rosalie and Alice, who had been watching in amazement.

"Are you ready?" Bella asked. They nodded.

"I want to go first!" Alice exclaimed.

"Okay,"

Alice aimed at the first square and threw it. It landed smack dab in the middle of the square. It seems their perfect vampire aim didn't leave them…

She hopped gracefully over the square and made her round on the hopscotch track, came back, and picked up her rock.

Rosalie went next, and of course, it landed perfectly in the middle of the square.

Bella's eyebrow twitched.

---MEANWHILE!!---

The boys were passing around the football, but Emmett had thrown it too high and it had got stuck in a tree.

"Emmett," Edward started in a deadpan voice as the three stared up at the tree. "I've noticed, lately, that you are a major cause of stress in my life,"

Emmett's eyes narrowed. "I can get it. Watch me." He said and started climbing the tree.

"Emmett!" Jasper said. "You'll fall and hurt yourself! Remember what Edward said about limits?!"

"Aw, limits shlimits!" He replied with a wave of his hand. Unfortunately, this caused him to lose his balance, and he teetered dangerously on a branch for a second before falling to the ground…

…and landing on Edward and Jasper.

"Emmett…" They growled dangerously.

Emmett chuckled sheepishly. "I suppose I should run…BELLA!" He screamed, jumping up and running towards her.

Bella was in the middle of hopping when she heard her name being screamed. She stopped and turned her head in the direction of the yell, but suddenly she was being tackled to the ground.

She fell and scraped her arms on the sidewalk. Her head snapped back and hit the pavement hard.

"Bella!" Edward yelled, running over to her. He knelt by her head. "Bella, are you okay?!" He asked frantically. She just groaned and sat up. She looked at her hands that were shaking slightly. She saw a few scrapes, but nothing major.

"I'm fine," She said.

Everyone glared at Emmett, who was smiling nervously.

"Uh, sorry, Bella!" He apologized.

"It's okay, Emmett," She sighed.

They decided to go inside then.

"Hey Edward!" Jasper said. "You think you still have Guitar Hero skills?"

"Let's find out," Edward replied with a smirk.

So, the two of them started taking turns playing songs. Emmett watched and cheered them on or booed them.

Alice sighed. "I'm still upset I can't go shopping," She said to Rosalie.

"I know how you feel," Rosalie replied.

Bella, however, was sitting at the table, looking at the kids with suspicion. She was surprised that the Cullens were taking this rather well. It was strange…almost too strange…

Plus it was eerily calm…too calm…

Something was going to happen. She knew it. Something…unexpected…

SUDDENLY THE SUPER-CRAZY-MENTALLY-ILL SECIENTIST POPS OUT (AGAIN)!

"AH!" Emmett screamed.

"I'm BAAACCK!" The scientist stated in a sing-song voice.

"Wait a minute!" The same random guy from 'Turn That Frown, Upside Down!' exclaimed.

"What now?!" Me, the author, asks irritably.

"I thought you said he was coming back in THREE days! Not two!"

"Oh…yeah…that's right…well, it's just such a LONG story that I FORGOT we only went through TWO days! Let's try again,"

Bella was sitting at the table, looking at the kids with suspicion. They were taking the whole 'kid for three days' thing well…almost too well.

She sighed. 'I'm over thinking this. I just need to relax…'

So she leaned back in her chair and continued watching them.

---LATER THAT NIGHT!!---

The group of friends was sitting under the stars in lawn chairs. There was a fire glowing in front of them. They were roasting marshmallows and making s'mores.

"This has got to be the best food ever!" Emmett exclaimed with such conviction that Bella almost believed him.

"So tomorrow's your last day, right?" Bella asked as she finished making her s'more.

"Yup," Edward answered. "We don't know when he'll come, though,"

"I hope he comes soon," Alice said. "I'm tired of being in this tiny body,"

"But Alice," Emmett said. "You were a midget even when we were vampires. This shouldn't have been a big change for you,"

Alice glared at him coldly and flung a marshmallow at him, which he promptly ate.

"Thanks," He grinned.

Alice rolled her eyes and concentrated on the marshmallow she was currently roasting.

They continued eating s'mores, and they told stories as the night went on, but finally they decided to call it a day, and they went inside.

---DAY THREE, THE FINAL DAY!!---

The Cullen kids were eating breakfast at the table. They had chocolate chip pancakes and orange juice. Emmett was about to take a big bite, when suddenly…

THE SUPER-CRAZY-MENTALLY-ILL SECIENTIST POPS OUT!

"AH!" All of them screamed (well, Alice more than likely cheered…)

"Your days are up! Time to go back to the way you were!" He shouted and zapped them before disappearing.

---MANY HOURS LATER!!---

Edward, again, was the first to wake up.

"Hey! We're back to normal!" He exclaimed. This woke up the rest of the Cullens, and they cheered.

"Yay!" Alice screamed. "I can go shopping!"

Suddenly, they heard a groan, and a tiny voice say, "Damnit!"

They glanced at each other, and finally Edward glanced around the table. He saw a little girl with brown hair and brown eyes. She had her arms crossed as she looked up at Edward.

Edward's eyes widened. "Bella?"

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That's the end of the special! I thought I rushed the end a bit, but this was 13 pages people!

Anyways! I liked the ending. Kind of a cliffhanger, but I'm not doing another one of these. However, I will pop in specials every now and then, so watch out for those!

Three reasons this came later than usual:

It was LOOONG.

I was gone because I was busy with stuff.

I got a little sick and I haven't been in the mood to type.

So sorry about that, but at least I finished it!

Thanks for reading, and PLEASE review!!

--Panda