Title: We Hate Taylor Swift!
Character(s): The Cullens and Bella
Summary: Title says it all…Emmett starts a "We Hate Taylor Swift" fan club at school.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight!
"You belong with meeee me, you belong with me!"
"Psh, you belong with your MAMA!" Emmett exclaimed, slamming the off button on his radio. The radio smashed into pieces due to his vampire force.
"EMMETT! Stop breaking radios!" Rosalie screeched.
"But it was Taylor Swift!" He whined.
Rosalie blinked. "Yeah you're right. She's AWFUL!"
"Amen sista!"
"Emmett!" Alice sung, prancing into his room. "We should start a fan club!"
"Oooh, goody! What kind of fan club?!"
"A "We Hate Taylor Swift" club silly!"
"Let's do it! Rose, you in?"
"Definitely."
"Yay! ALICE! Let's go ask the prude!"
Edward stomped into the room and punched Emmett. "I am NOT a prude!"
"Says the man who is over a hundred years old and has never had sex…" Emmett mumbled, earning yet another punch.
"DAMMIT EDWARD! STOP PUNCHING ME OR I WON'T LET YOU INTO MY—"
"Our," Alice interjected.
"—OUR FAN CLUB!"
Edward scoffed. "Like I would want to join your STUPID club…"
"GAH!" Emmett attacked Edward and sat on him.
"GOD Emmett! Get off me you fat cow!"
"I'm not fat! And I am most certainly NOT a COW! Now JOIN our FAN CLUB or I will SHAVE your HAIR in THE middle OF the NIGHT!"
"Why are you stressing random words?"
"Why are you training a monkey to be your pet?!"
"I'm not training a monkey to be my pet…"
"LIAR!"
"What's with all the yelling?" Jasper asked, strutting in.
"JASPER!" Emmett yelled. He ran up and locked him in a head lock.
"Join our club! OR ELSE!"
"What club?!" Jasper asked, kicking Emmett in the stomach.
"The "We Hate Taylor Swift" fan club! Me and Alice are going to start one at school! So you should join!"
"…Or not. I think that's lame. No offense, Alice."
"Yeah, you can count me out," Edward the Prude said.
--Edward turns to author—"HEY!"
Me: "Sorry, but Emmett's right. You ARE a prude…a very sexy one at that…" I mumbled the last part.
ANYWAYS! BACK TO STORY!
After school, Emmett and Alice appeared at the front desk wearing matching anti-Taylor Swift shirts. They two stared at the receptionist, who gave them a bored look.
"Hello, Ma'am," Emmett said, trying to be sexy.
The lady blinked. "What?" She snapped.
Emmett grinned. "Me and my sister here would like to start a club,"
"Fill these out," She demanded, shoving some papers in his face. Emmett sniffed and snatched them from her.
"How rude…" He mumbled. "YOU ARE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO CAUSES GLOBAL WARMING! Anyways, ALICE! Help me fill these out!"
1. What is the name of your club? WE HATE TAYLOR SWIFT!
2. What is your club saying? Taylor Swift SUCKS EGGS!
3. What is your club motto? Taylor Swift sucks. She cannot sing, and she is ugly.
4. When will your club be meeting? After school every day!
5. What activities will your club do? We'll make hateful crafts of Taylor Swift and we'll do protests and we'll make club jackets!
6. Why should you be allowed this club? Because this is a serious issue that needs to be resolved!
"I'M DONE!" Emmett shouted.
"Great." The receptionist deadpanned. She took them from Emmett. "You'll find out if you get your club tomorrow."
"YAY! ALICE! LET'S GO TO THE CULLEN CAVE!"
"Okay!"
THE NEXT DAY!!!
"WE GOT IT!!" Emmett shouted, jumping up and down with Alice like he was a girl and they just got a two week shopping spree in the biggest mall in the world.
"Oh…my…God…" Edward groaned, hitting his head on the table repeatedly.
"I WANNA JOIN!" Bella screeched, jumping with the two.
"NOOOO!" Edward screamed. "DON'T DO IT BELLA!!!"
"TOO LATE! You can definitely join, girlfriend!" Emmett said in a gay voice, snapping his fingers in the Z-formation. "Here's a t-shirt!"
"AHH!" Bella squealed, putting the shirt on.
"NOOO!" Edward screamed again. Someone from the audience threw a brick at his head and the brick snapped in two. Edward didn't even bat an eye as he "sobbed his heart out."
"How could I let this happen?" He asked himself.
"Weeeeell for starters—" Emmett started.
"SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR CRAP!"
"YOU'RE SO MEAN TO ME! I HATE YOU! Let's start a "We Hate Edward" fan club!"
"YEAH!" Bella and Alice exclaimed.
"NOOO!!"
"I was just kidding Edward! Jesus…is a good man! Calm DOWN, DAMMIT!"
"Annnnyways…" Alice said. "Let's start our club!"
They three went to the room they were assigned for their club. They cleaned it up and made a sign for the door that said, "Taylor Swift haters welcomed here! Lovers will be shot on sight…seriously, they will. We're not kidding. So just stay away. Or else we'll shoot you. Seriously."
Yeah, it was that long. Seriously.
Then they made a banner that said Taylor Swift with a big 'X' over it. They put up a picture of her on a dart board, made a crafts area for making hate crafts, and they hung up a model of the t-shirt they were selling.
"We're done!"
"Yay!"
"Awesome!"
…
…
…
"Now what do we do?" Emmett asked.
"Weeeee waaaaait for peeeeeople to jooooooin!" Alice replied.
"Why are you talking like that?" Bella asked.
"Becaaaaaaause it's fuuuuuuuun!"
"Okay, okay, let me try! Hiiiiiii Emmmmmmeeettt! OH MY GOSH! THAT IS FUN!"
"GUUUUUYS! Oh damn, that is fun. AHHH! Focus!" Emmett yelled.
Just then, someone walked in. Emmett screamed like a girl. "WELCOME, FRIEND!"
"Uh, hey," The guy said. For some reason he wasn't wearing a t-shirt. "Can I have a t-shirt?"
"Of COURSE you can! We'll be selling jackets in a week!"
"Yeah whatever. I just needed a shirt." He slipped it on. "Later." He said and walked out the door.
"Whhhhaaaat a looooooser!" Bella crowed.
"Yeaaaaaaah! Heeeee's sooooo patheeeeeeetic!" Alice chirped.
Meanwhile, Emmett couldn't wipe the grin off his face. He was smiling on the outside, but on the inside he was yelling with rage and disbelief.
A few weeks passed, and the three remained to be the only member of the WHTS club. Because of this, the principal had to shut them down.
Emmett now sat in his room, moping about the "Glory Days."
He sighed. "I miss our club."
Alice pranced in. "Iiiiiit's okaaaaaaay! I missssss it tooooo!"
Edward walked in all smug. "I knew it wouldn't work."
"Shut up you…you…SHEEP! Yes, you are a FAT, UGLY, TOO-FLUFFY SHEEP!"
"Ouch," Edward said sarcastically.
Emmett narrowed his eyes. "I'm going to start a We Hate Edward Cullen fan club!"
"HA! I'm not falling for that one again!"
"No, seriously I am."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"Oh."
…
…
…
"Seriously?"
"Yes. And YOU are not invited!"
"NOOOO!!"
Wow I haven't written anything in a long time. This wasn't very funny. But, whatever! Hopefully I'll get in the groove again :D
Seriously, people, review. Seriously.
:D
--Panda