Title: Edward's Playground
Characters: Edward and the Cullens.
Summary: First it was the box, now it's—dun dun DUN!--…Slumberland. "Don't ever leave him in Slumberland!" Alice shouted. "Too late." Jasper said. "Damn you!"
Word Count: 1,427
SEQUEL TO EDWARD'S BOX!!
Hmm…ENJOY!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight!
The Cullens wanted to get some new furniture from Slumberland. Er, well, actually, Esme was the only one who wanted to, but she wanted them there so they could pick it out together as a FAMILY!
Well, let's just say they weren't very enthused.
However, they couldn't go today because A) somebody cough-Emmett-cough hid their money, and B) they needed to go hunting.
That is, everyone but Edward.
"What am I supposed to do all day?!" He exclaimed.
"Well, what do you usually do?" Esme asked.
"I hang out with Bella, but she's hanging out with Angela today…"
"Well, why don't you go to Slumberland and get a head start."
"No." Edward crossed his arms defiantly. "I'll just stay here and wallow in misery."
Esme just rolled her eyes. "Whatever you do, don't do anything stupid." And she left.
Edward, do something stupid? It was laughable, but not impossible.
----LATER THAT DAY!!!!-----
In one of the corners of the house, Edward sat there, his knees drawn up to his chest. If he didn't do something soon, he was going to go crazy!
"…go to Slumberland…"
DAMNIT!
"Fine." Edward said, getting up. "I'll humor her."
IN THE GARAGE!!!!
Edward stared at his baby. His silver, shiny Volvo. He hugged the front of it. "OH how I love you Bessie."
Thank God no one was here to witness this.
Edward patted the hood of his car before getting in and driving off to Slumberland.
WITH ALICE!!!
"NOOO!" She screamed, falling to her knees. Jasper was immediately by her side
"What?!" He asked frantically.
"EDWARD WENT TO SLUMBERLAND!"
"…And?"
"HE'S IN MENTAL EDWARD MODE!"
"Oh damn. We have a problem."
"JASPER! We have to stop him! Remember when he had the box?!"
FLASHBACK TO EDWARD'S BOX
Edward brought the periscope down and stood up so just his eyes and hair was seen. His hands were grasping the edge of the box.
"Where did you get that information? Are you some sort of spy?" He asked suspiciously.
Alice and Rosalie chuckled, but that was the wrong thing to do.
Edward's eyes narrowed, and he glared at them. He ducked back into his box. He quickly made a paper hat and put it on his head.
"This means war," He whispered to himself. He then made little paper balls that, when thrown with vampire speed, were deadly. He made a few hundred of them, gathered them in his arms, and then quickly stood up to his full height, and started pelting both girls with them.
END FLASHBACK
"It's not good, Jasper. Funny—but NOT GOOD! He's already there, and if we don't do something, he'll do some serious damage!"
"Well then let's go."
"You have to finish hunting. I'll get everyone else while you finish."
"Okay."
Alice sprinted off. Damn you, Edward.
BACK WITH EDWARD!!!!
Edward entered the store with a dazed look on his face. There was so much STUFF! Couches and tables and lamps--OH MY!
There were also beds, chairs, and other decorative stuff. It was wonderful!
Edward smirked. Perfect.
Edward stalked off towards the farthest corner of the store, grabbing a chair, a lamp, a desk, and a mattress on the way. Once in the corner, he put the mattress on top of the bed, and then grabbed one more mattress and piled it on top of the previous mattress so he now had a tower of some sort. He went and pushed the desk next to the tower (those mattresses were pretty dang big) and put the chair on top of the desk. He then went and pulled some drapes off of a stand and tied it around his neck like a cape. Then, he went to one of the tables that was used for show and took the plastic bowl that was sitting on it. He put it on his head like a crown. Using his lamp as a staff, he climbed onto the desk and onto the chair to get on his massive tower.
"Ah ha!" He exclaimed, everyone in the store oblivious to Mental Edward's creation. "My subjects of the Land of Slumber! Welcome your new king!"
A little girl pointed at him. "Mommy! Look at the king!"
"That's nice dear…" She replied, not caring.
Mental Edward frowned when his subjects did not turn to applaud him.
"Ah, sir?" A worker asked, coming up to Mental Edward's tower.
"You will address me as Your Highness!" Edward screeched back.
"Oh, um…Your Highness? What you are doing is illegal."
Edward frowned and climbed down from his tower. "What do you mean, good sir?"
"Umm, you aren't allowed to make towers…"
"Who has enforced this law?"
"…the CEO."
Edward puffed his chest out. "Then I will find this CEO and free you all from this AWFUL law!"
The worker sighed. "SECURITY!"
(For maximum awesomeness when reading this story, I recommend listening to "Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts :D)
But Edward had already run off. He was jumping from bed to bed, scaring a couple who was trying out the softness level of one mattress.
"AHAHA!" He laughed maniacally. "You can't stop MEEEE!"
SUDDENLY! The Cullens (minus Carlisle and Esme, and of course Edward) burst through the doors!
Edward stopped before them on a desk. "Are you the one they call CEO?"
"HELL YES WE ARE!" Emmett shouted, sounding like Stewie from Family Guy.
"Then you are going DOWN!" He yelled.
"CULLENS!" Alice yelled. "GO!" They dispersed into the store, but Emmett stayed.
Edward twirled his lamp like it was one of those stick things they use in martial arts. Edward made various sounds of Kung Fu ("Wah! Hiya! Cheow!") and then held his hand up and made a motion for Emmett to come to him.
Emmett grabbed two desk lamps and twirled them like numb chucks. "Waaaahh! BRING IT, BITCH!"
Edward charged, and Emmett blocked him. Edward quickly charged again, pushing Emmett back. Emmett blocked each attack, but then he tripped (since when do vampires trip?) over an "innocent" pillow and onto a bed. Edward held a furious face as he went to "stab" Emmett, but Emmett moved and Edward lost his balance and fell over.
Emmett noticed a long cord protruding from Edward's lamp, and he swiftly tied it around Edward once and then plugged it into the wall. Not only was Edward tied up, but the light on the lamp turned on.
Edward growled and ripped free from the cord. Meanwhile, Emmett jumped like hell from desk to desk. Edward followed after him, but then he felt something hit him and he slipped off of the desk and splattered (HA! Splattered...) onto the floor. He lifted his head and growled at a smirking Alice, who was standing on top of a table, surrounded by pillows.
Note to self: Any object plus vampire force equals DEADLY!
Edward grabbed a chair and, in slow motion, started running towards Alice. She pelted more pillows at him, and he batted each one away with the chair. One ended up taking out a lamp, and another smoked Emmett in the back of the head just as he dove behind a tipped over table.
Just as Edward reached Alice, Alice jumped and Jasper popped up out of nowhere, hitting Edward with a massive pillow.
"Oomph!" Edward grunted as he slid across the table on his stomach. Rosalie jumped up and, using some drapes, tied his hands behind his back. Emmett came over and slammed a mattress on top of him, sandwiching him.
"Well done, guys," Alice smirked.
"ALICE, JASPER, EMMETT, ROSALIE, AND ESPECIALLY EDWARD CULLEN!" Esme screeched, entering the store with Carlisle, who was trying not to laugh. He would be yelled at if he did.
The Cullens flinched. Edward slid out from underneath the mattress and plopped onto the floor. He untied his hands and stood up next to his brothers and sisters, who looked ashamed.
"We were just trying to stop Mental Edward!" Emmett cried.
Edward glared along with Esme.
"I don't care!" Esme screeched. "You all caused this mess!"
"Ma'am," The manager squeaked. "Um, you and your kids will have to leave."
Esme smiled sweetly at him. "I'm terribly sorry. They WILL clean this mess up, and then we'll certainly leave."
The man just gulped. "O-okay." He scuttled off.
"Now get to work!" She said angrily. "MOVE!"
They slumped as they scurried off.
Emmett scoffed. "God, Eddie. Can't you NOT be mental for once?!"
"Shut up, Emmett!"
Emmett turned to Jasper. "Stupid Jasper! If you would have just finished HUNTING, we wouldn't be in this mess! I BLAME YOU!"
Ah…Mental Edward…this and Edward's Box were actually similar in many ways, but I think it was better than Edward's Box. Did you like how I finished it the same way?! I did. :D
Review please!
--Panda