Chapter 3

He stretched, staring out at the ocean from the window. "This is the best." Rush practically purred as he opened the window and felt the breeze.

David smiled but his gaze fell to the single bed in the room. His mind wandered a little before he heard his name. "What?"

"I said, want to go down to the beach for a while?" Rush raised a brow, a smirk on his lips. "This is a vacation after all and you're supposed to be resting up."

The blonde nodded. "Yes, that's true...the beach sounds like a fine idea." For some reason though the journey here was carefree he suddenly felt awkward alone here. They would be staying here a couple days, able to talk and laugh and do anything without many eyes on them. The idea was both exciting and terribly frightening. He could be more free here but if he allowed himself to let go would it be too hard to go back to the way he was? Following Rush they walked down to the shore, seeing the sun overhead on its downward descent into the sea. It wasn't often he got to relax like this. The last time he'd been here was with Rush. He'd come to visit the resting place of that girl; his first love, the first person who believed in him. Even now he wished she could have seen how successful he'd been, so her trust and hope wouldn't have been in vain. Still Rush was a lot like her in ways and also very different. He was one of the few people who seemed to understand him without meaning too.

"Come on, Dave, let's go." Rush took his hand.

"What are we doing?" He blinked, yanked down closer to the water.

"Here, take off your boots." He kicked off his own shoes and was rolling up his pant legs.

"Rush?" David flushed, not really getting it. "You can't mean…it's probably freezing."

"So?" Rush grinned, and reached to unlace David's boots. "You gotta live a little. Come on, we're on vacation." He tugged off one of David's boots, seeing the blonde stumbled and held him up. "Careful."

The other man was a bit speechless but reached to undo his other boot, slipping it off, and shedding his coat. "We're really just going to walk through the water?"

"What's wrong, you allergic to it?" Rush teased, walking into it. It was cold but felt nice and he felt the soft sand shift between his toes.

David sighed but he had a small smile on his face and rolled up his own pants. "I haven't done this since I was a small child." He muttered, walking into the water and shivering.

"It's nice, huh?" Rush grinned, walking closer.

He was staring at the water, seeing how clear it was as he nodded. "Yes, it is…it's freezing though." He laughed weakly, looking up at Rush. "Still I suppose doing this every once in a while is a good thing. I feel years younger right now."

The other boy nodded then stared out at the sky. "I wish I could help you." He muttered. "I…I don't really get all the politics stuff. Even now I don't really get how much just your actions affect everyone. Maybe," He sighed. "Maybe that's why I can be so gung-ho about this."

David swallowed. "Well, one of us needs to." He sighed. "I didn't think I would be such a coward about this." He kicked at the water. "I thought that being a ruler, fighting in countless battles; I could handle something like my emotions."

"Dave." Walking through the water, Rush placed his hands on the other boy's arms. "You know, why not just forget it all for now?"

"I wish I could but…"

"Please." Rush whispered, staring at him. "Please try; please don't worry about everything for just a couple days."

It was hard to argue with that and David fell silent for a moment. "I…Rush…I…." He was silenced yet again when Rush yanked him close and covered his lips again. He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to this. With the cold water at their feet the touch of their lips together was like fire and all he could do was gasp and groan in surprise and pleasure. Even if he should have seen it coming it was a surprise, the jolt that went from his lips down his back, the heat inside him that made his cheeks flush. All of it was a surprise. His skin even tingled wherever he felt Rush's hands rest on him, and those fingers in his hair made him dizzy all over again. "Rush...w...wait…." He shuddered, wanting to collapse.

"Not till you stop worrying." He muttered against his mouth, pressing closer.

He was sure he'd faint from it all, at least till he tried to regain his footing a bit and his foot slipped, forcing him to fall back. It was almost like slow motion and before he could cry out there was a loud splash.

"Ah…c…cold." Rush shuddered, lifting off him a bit. He was soaked and the slight breeze sent a chill through him. "You okay?"

David lifted up but the water was up to his waist and he shivered. "Y…yeah. L…let's…go back…." He chattered.

"Here." Rush said a bit breathless, helping him up. Unable to help himself he wrapped his arms around David. The other still felt warm despite the chilled skin. He wanted to keep holding him.

"Rush, we need to get back." David whispered but he couldn't pull away. Something about this was so wonderful. Maybe he should just let go for a while, otherwise he might not ever know how badly he wanted this and end up losing it all.

"Right." Rush pulled back, taking his hand and helping him from the water, getting their shoes and going back to the inn.

They stared at the single bath. "Um…you can go first." Rush offered, going a little pink.

"Are you sure? You might catch cold." David looked at him, just as red. He was shivering but they both couldn't take a bath and…

"It's fine, I mean we can't have you of all people getting sick so...uh…go ahead. I'll just be in the other room." Rush hurried to the door, but his eyes wandered and boy did they wander. The wet clothes stuck to David a lot and he managed to see more of his form that was usually hidden under clothing. He found his cheeks going hot and swallowed the lump in his throat. Leaving the room, he struggled a little with himself. He shouldn't do something rash at this point but…no, no he should just calm down. He paced a bit by the window, but his mind always went back to David.

He sank into the water, bringing his knees close. He knew Rush wouldn't just run in here but he felt slightly insecure. It was easy to forget they would be staying here a couple days, sleeping in the same room, no distractions at all. Just Rush and himself, alone, free to do what they pleased. His cheeks burned and he pressed his forehead to his knees. Why, why couldn't he keep his mind off it? Was it because it was completely possible, possible they could lose themselves in their feelings? There was no one to object right now. So many times, before everything came to a rather regretful end resulting in Rush disappearing, he had imagined so many possibilities. If they won could he keep Rush by his side? Could he let himself fall deeper into this warm and chaotic feeling in his heart? He hadn't been aware you could feel like this, he thought he'd be able to deal with love like everything else. It was such a tender, delicate feeling; it stung and made you bleed as fiercely as any blade. He'd felt the painful ache of losing that one important person, and the intense happiness of getting them back. The water settled around him, and though it warmed his freezing skin his mind continued to dwell on the simple fact that his feelings for Rush were so far beyond anything he had experienced he was truly lost to it. He sat lost in his thoughts a long while before getting up, drying himself off slowly before dressing in a simple pair of pants and shirt. How was he supposed to be able to relax when just the feeling itself sent his mind reeling? He stepped into the bedroom, seeing Rush by the window. "I'm done if you want your turn, Rush." He said, hair still a little damp. He couldn't look completely at him. When the other boy turned to him he felt his chest grow tight. It was getting dark outside and the only light in the room was a single lamp.

"Oh, thanks, I'll try and be quick." He said with a smile, walking up to him.

He should have simply let him pass him to the bathroom where he could bathe, but, by some odd twist of fate, he grabbed his arm. He stared at the floor but his eyes couldn't focus, all he knew was he somehow didn't want Rush to leave him alone any longer.

"Dave?" Rush titled his head.

"You're cold." He murmured, feeling the chill of his skin. "I'm sorry I took so long. You must be freezing." He was just regurgitating politeness he had practiced for so long. It covered up the inner selfishness he carried. By all proper thought he should let Rush go get warmed up but…
"It's not a big deal…Dave, are you alright?" He turned, shifting a little closer to him.

He felt his body brush against him, that cold chill that seemed to battle against his overheated skin. "No." he said, gritting his teeth. "No, I'm not alright, I'm not." He murmured and looked at him. Rush, Rush was that light he'd been missing. He didn't want to be alone anymore; he didn't want to feel like he did all this for nothing. Rush was what made him feel like it was worth it. Just once he wanted to be selfish, to forget everything else for a moment and be selfish.

"Dave?" Rush's brown eyes stared into David's, his hand reaching to brush damp hair from the blonde's cheek.

"Don't leave me alone." He said without thinking. "Please...stay with me…" he came closer, his hands pressed to Rush's chest, feeling the body under his clothes. If he let go, if he let himself just feel this feeling, give into it, would the aching in his chest get better or worse? "If you're cold just stay close to me." He said.

The brunette went beat red, those words seemingly so innocent but held a very astounding possibility. "You are really warm?" He said, looping his arms around him. "Almost too warm…" Had David realize the look he was giving the other boy he might have been embarrassed. Rush felt like he couldn't back away, couldn't do anything but give the blonde what he wanted.

David trembled, realizing what his body wanted, and what Rush's expression told him the other wanted. "Rush…" He ran a hand up his body, along over his shoulder, along the side of his neck and into the boy's soft brown hair. His eyes followed the path of his hand but stopped when he saw the other's mouth, recalling the kiss, the flurry of excitement that built within him at the memory those lips brought to him. He leaned in close as his eyes began to fall shut. Just…forget everything except this feeling. Forget the world tonight.

Rush leaned in, their mouths brushing together softly. It was the first time the other had kissed him and it was indeed all he dreamed. Gasping a little he pulled David close to him, holding his warm body against him.

David felt the familiar dizziness set in, the rush of sensations through every limb. Even as his legs wobbled he felt himself sag against Rush, but unlike before he didn't break away, Rush didn't break away. He wasn't even aware he made a noise till the sound settled in the air above them, a deep moan that bubble up from the pit of his stomach.

Rush held him tighter, gasping against his lips. "Dave…." Warm, soft hands moved over David's back, moving along the curve of his spine sparking tingles.

He almost moaned again but he was breathless and held on tighter, arching against him, and then they were moving. His legs were taking steps back, urged on by the momentum of the other. "Rush…."

"Don't stop me….please…" Rush panted, pushing him back till the bed stopped them and he gave the blonde one last shove to cause them to tumble onto it.

He broke the kiss to gasp when his back slammed against the soft mattress. His blue eyes stared darkly up at Rush, but he couldn't seem to find it in himself to be afraid any longer. "Is…this happening?" he murmured quietly.

"Yes…." Rush reached up to lace their fingers together. "Yes, it is….it is…." He kissed him again, groaning himself this time.

A year ago this might have terrified him, even a few days ago, but now he couldn't bare to stop it. Those hands, that mouth, wherever Rush touched him he felt like a fire burned inside. The heat that swelled in him was almost uncontrollable as if it had finally been awakened. "Rush…." He jumped when a cool hand slipped under his shirt. He was touching him, his hands were on him. "Ah….." he squeezed his eyes shut, trembling under the touch.

Shifting, Rush leaned over him, watching the other's face. "David." He called, using his name correctly.

He opened his eyes, staring up at him a little surprised. However the other boy only looked back at him a moment, the silence so heavy he thought he'd be crushed by it.

Rush leaned in, brushing this noses together. "David Nassau…" He murmured. "I never got to tell you before, I was afraid to say it." His voice was so quiet that a person might have strained to hear him but the gentle hum of his voice was deafening to the blonde. "I wanted to tell you for so long that I…love you...I love you…"

He wanted to cry, to wrap his arms around him but his voice, his body was frozen, just staring at the other boy. No, no he had to tell him, to explain…. "Rush, I…as well, I…" Oh god he couldn't manage the words at all.

Rush smiled. "I know." He said softly, reaching up to tease his hair. "You don't have to tell me."

"But I do." David insisted, and did finally manage to wrap his arms around him. "I love you. I love you so much, I can't…I don't know how I lived without you. I…I wanted to die, everything meant nothing without you." He couldn't stop. He wanted to tell Rush everything, every secret thought and desire. Everything he felt.

The other boy swallowed the lump in his throat, holding the blonde close. "I…I wanted to get back to you as soon as I could." He murmured. "I…wanted this chance….to love you. I...I can't even managed to think straight half the time or grow up but I wanted to get back to you, Dave."

He squeezed his arms tighter, shaking.

"It's just you and me now though." Rush whispered in his ear. "Tonight…"

"Yes." He nodded, leaning back on the bed. "Tonight…" He smiled.

How does one fall in love? Is there a method? Is there some rule about the perfect match or is it circumstantial? He wondered how many lovers felt like this, this embarrassment, this excitement as his hands pushed away clothing, revealing naked skin underneath. He leaned up, his shirt falling down around him, and Rush's hands moving along the curves of his shoulders and arms. They didn't speak, their eyes too busy reveling in the sights before them. He could tell Rush was just as nervous but the desire in them spurned them on. David bit his lip as he watched Rush slid his fingers inside the band of his pants, tugging them down. Fingertips brushed along his hips, but it was the feel of cool air on his skin, his naked skin that made him shudder. Rush took such care in slipping the garment off his legs and he shifting against him, not sure he felt confident enough in himself to hold the other's interest.

Rush just smiled at him, that warm, soft smile and cupped his face, kissing David deeply.

His guard dropped and he reached for Rush, wanting to undress him completely, to have nothing between them even if he couldn't understand it. He fumbled a little, his finger clumsily pushing the fabric from the other's hips.

Rush couldn't help but laugh.

"Don't make fun…" he murmured, looking up, face red.

"I...can't help it." Rush said, his voice a little raspy. "You're so cute…"

"I'm scared out of my mind." He argued. "This is so…ah!" he was pushed back on the bed.

"Me too." The other said. "I don't even think I know what I'm doing…but…I love you…and I…I want to do this…to make love…no matter how bad we are at it the first time."

Oh by all the powers that be he felt so much more naked now and his face burned a bright red. "Rush…."

"Look at me." He whispered. "Look at me, Dave…." His hands trailed down his chest slowly.

"I am looking at…..oh!" His eyes went wide and he jumped, reaching up to grab the other's arm. "Rush…wait...wait…"

"No, no more waiting. No more putting things off…"

"Oh…Rush…I…ah." He wanted to scream but all that came out were moans. Those hands touching his sensitive, overheated flesh…no one had ever touched him before and he could only claw at the sheets.

"Is…that okay?' Rush asked, not having a clue if the other was enjoying it since David looked like he was in pain…or maybe it was pleasure…or both.

"Yes, yes it's….oh…." He started to pant, breathing heavier. He didn't think he could feel anymore but this was totally new. He snuck a glance at where the other boy was touching and immediately closed them. He was so embarrassed and full of shame but it was surprisingly a good feeling. "Rush….Rush….."

Rush leaned over him, capturing his lips; basking in the kiss as his hand tensed and slipped along David. "I love you…..Dave….."

"Don't…stop…." He'd die if Rush did and he both twisted and writhed under the other.

"I won't..." Rush promised, pressing close to him.

It was like an explosion of sensations, and he saw white, crying out loudly and jerking against Rush. The sparks of pleasure followed by the aftershocks of almost numbness and heat seemed to calm him enough. "Rush…." He reached up, tangling his fingers in the brunette's hair. "Don't stop…"

Rush was probably at wits end. Had David no clue what he was doing to him? He hadn't a clue what to do but he couldn't stop, not with the other asking him like that. "Gotcha…" he panted, thinking quick before sucking on his fingers. "Just relax…I don't want to hurt you."

He nodded weakly, feeling a hand move along his inner thigh, a little sensitive. This time the hand moved lower, and he cried out when he felt the tension.

"It's okay." Rush breathed in his ear. His hand felt around, feeling the area before pushing against the tense, warmth he sought. "I won't hurt you…" he said though, he wasn't sure he could manage it without having ever done this before. However, David seemed to believe him and relaxed enough for him to push the digit in, gasping at the heat.

David was beside himself in mortification, never having felt so exposed in his life. "Rush…I'm scared…."

"Me too…does it hurt?"
' "No….no it doesn't but…your finger…."

"I'm aware of where it is." He said, looking at him. They stared at each other a moment before both seemed to laugh nervously. "Oh geez….this isn't the time for this…."

"No...no, it isn't." David agreed. "Not while you're in the middle of stealing my virtue." He flushed.

"You're making this worse for me…." Rush huffed but wasn't about to stop, his hand shifting and pushing deeper inside him.

"AH!" David's eyes fell shut and he trembled. "Oh…Rush…ngh…" He lost all composure, this feeling very different from before. He felt like he was being broken apart and the movements, as they got more intense and rhythmic, only made him want to shake more in need. He arched off the bed, groaning even when rush brushed their lips together. He could feel where the other touched, knew that at some point he was opening his body wider but his mind couldn't fathom the mechanics of it. It was pain and pleasure, shame and happiness. He wanted to scream to grab hold of him and beg him to stop yet to keep going.

"Almost..." Rush breathed against his lips.

"Rush…." He whimpered, feeling the other's touch leave him. "What...what are you…?"

"Ready?" He looked down at the blonde scared, his brown eyes so dark and warm looking.

He stared back, dazed at first before he understood. "Uh…yes…yes." He looped his arms around his neck, pulling him close.

"I'll go slow…" Rush's voice was a little husky from the heavy breathing, or maybe he was straining so much to not cry out like David was.

David felt his body close and when the heat rose in him and he felt the slightly uncomfortable entry and groaned. "Rush….oh….." He couldn't stop himself and raked his blunt nails over the other's back, moaning.

"Dave…" Rush gasped, leaning close and then he settled against him. "Oh…wow…"

He gulped, feeling him, feeling him inside him, the connection, the beautiful amazing feeling of their bodies intertwined. He held on tighter. "Rush…I'm…alright…move."

"I love you." Rush murmured, shifting his hips. As he began to move more fluidly he breathed the words again.

David closed his eyes a moment, feeling the sting of tears, the tenseness of his throat as they welled up. This was what he wanted. This was why he had done it all. He wanted to share such a moment with the person he loved. He whimpered the declaration back, rocking against him. When his body began to tense more, the fire in him uncontrollable he gripped the bed, crying out loudly. He was sure he heard Rush's cry but his body felt like it was flying and the world was quiet. How fortunate to finally experience such a thing with the one he loved.

Shaking Rush pressed against him, slumping over. He struggled to breathe. Normally he should have been excited to finally have experienced this, to no longer be an innocent in the ways of having a lover but all he could think of was; Dave was finally his. He smiled, nuzzling his ear. "Dave…"

The laugh to his voice was apparent and David smiled back. "Let's...stay like this…just for a while." He wrapped his arms around him, closing his eyes.

When the sun came up, gracing the room with new light a pair lay rumpled in bed, tangled amongst blankets and each other. They saw the light come in but neither wanted to move. "Well, not bad for the first day." Rush smirked.

"I…don't know if I couldn't take something even more spectacular than that." David said, looking at him.

Rush sat up. "Really I…was kinda hoping we could do that again." He laughed before a pillow was smacked in his face.

"We didn't get any sleep as it is." He huffed playfully.

"You expect me to sleep with you looking like that?" Rush said, sitting up, staring at him. "Especially when you ask me to bed so sweetly." He laughed again when the blonde went red.

"I…did no such thing." He muttered flustered. "I…just asked you…"

"You asked me if I was cold to warm myself with your body heat…more or less." He grinned. "I know I'm pretty dense but…even I would get that."

David flopped back on the bed, pulling the covers over his face. Thinking back he might have appeared as such to Rush last night. Goodness he could barely fathom it. They hadn't really slept yet, dozing a bit, cuddling, kissing, touching. They had explored and spoken everything wish they had and yet it felt like a dream.

"Dave?" Rush tugged back the covers, staring down at him. "What's wrong?"

He stared at him. "Nothing." He shook his head. "Nothing now; I merely hope that this is not something fleeting."

"Huh" He titled his head. "You mean like, something that'll pass? Not likely. You're stuck with me for good and if you say no, I'll…throw a tantrum or something. Plus you took my virginity so as a proper lord you have to take responsibility." He laughed.

He had to crack a smile at that. "I…suppose I do." He reached up to tease his hair. "I am so glad you came back to me. It's…as if time stopped moving for that whole time you were away. I felt like I forgot how to live and then you showed up in the garden and smiled at me."

"You have no idea how badly I wanted to…well hug you and just blurt it all out then and there." He scratched his hand, tangling his fingers with David's in his hair. He brought the slender hand to his lips, kissing them. This was nice, this was perfect. "Now you won't be able to stop me."

David nodded, however the real world came back to him. He wanted to be with Rush but would the world allow it. If he was with him then…then what did that mean for Athlum? He wouldn't bother with it now. For the next couple days he was to be with Rush and pretend this was all they had, all they needed.