Title: Be Still My Heart (Thou Hast Known Worse Than This)
Rating: M FOR MATURE! I mean it!
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, or make a profit off of this. Especially Naminé, Roxas, Axel, or vampires. Though if I did, this would be what they would do...
Warnings: Male x Male interactions, if you know what I mean. Vampires, blood, sexual scenes, foul language.
Notes and such: So I wanted to have this chapter up by Friday for you guys, but the site wouldn't let me upload any documents! I've been trying all weekend and it finally worked! Rah! So, I know I said I'd update it weekly, but I feel like I should stop making promises! I don't want to let anyone down, so I'll just say it SHOULD be updated during the weekend sometime, either weekly, or biweekly. School's been a drag, I've got so many tests and papers due already, and it's only the third week! Why did I have to go to college? xD
OH! Was anyone else as excited as I was for the new chapter of University by Nitro CHiRAL ?! If you haven't already read and reviewed it, you should go, NOW! Well...after you read this chapter (and review ;D)! Enjoy!
-
To say that Roxas' mother was mad when he got home would be an understatement. Upon his arrival, he received a hefty lecture about the dangers of being gone all night and day without any heads up, and the woes of being the mother of a rebellious teenager. Though he thought she was overreacting just a bit, he did admit that he should have at least let her know he wouldn't be home. That's what he had a cell phone for, right?
It was probably dead by now, since he hadn't even thought to charge it since his birthday.
Deciding to test his assumption, he reached into his pant pocket, his hands sliding around the cool plastic and metal that rested in there, forgotten until a few minutes ago. He pulled it out and flipped open the top, the screen black and void of any pictures or words that normally occupied the space. Yep. Dead.
"Roxas are you even listening?" His mother whined, stomping her foot like one of those girls you see in movies who are mad because they don't get their way.
"Yes, mom."
She eyed him skeptically for what seemed like entirely too long, before letting out a bodily sigh and shuffling off into the kitchen, mumbling about how "teens nowadays don't have the decency to even listen when they're being talked to."
Rolling his eyes, Roxas headed into his room and proceeded to think about the only thing that seemed to be constantly running through his now Axel-obsessed mind.
-
Unfortunately for Roxas and the rest of the students attending Twilight Town High, the week off of school for spring break had ended, and returning back to the campus 5 days a week was mandatory.
Roxas found it particularly hard to concentrate after lunch. In the morning, he was still a walking zombie and was hardly able to comprehend any sentence that didn't pertain directly to Axel, redheads, or vampires. It has a nasty habit, that he did not regret having one bit. However, after he had stuffed himself with cafeteria food, he was more awake and thus became antsy as the time ticked by, nearing closer to the end of the school day, and closer to his potential time with the vampire.
Thinking about Axel all the time seemed like just a natural occurrence, and he didn't even consider the fact that his best friends had stopped trying to lure him into hanging out with them at the beach, or after school. Normally that was the routine thing to do. Roxas would get out of Math and head straight for the sandlot with Hayner, Pence, and Olette, all of them ready to Struggle, or just go to the usual spot. There were no questions about anything different, you just did it.
He had hardly seen the three of them outside of school, and only in passing. They would enthusiastically urge him to join them in whatever activities they were pursuing, but Roxas would mumble a half-hearted apology and make up some excuse about needed to babysit a dog, or something equally fake.
There was a part of him the really missed being with them, just doing mundane things like running around the town, or complaining about Seifer and his gang. As big as that part was, he couldn't help the part of him that Axel was currently filling up.
With each second that passed, he became more and more enthralled with the redhead. It was as though Roxas was a cup of hot water, and Axel was a bag of tea, slowly spreading itself throughout the water, flavoring it with its unique taste. His body reacted in ways they never had before, which made the whole situation exhilarating as well as a bit scary.
Mm, Axel would be one delicious hot cup of tea.
Glancing up at the clock, Roxas was disheartened to find that he still had half an hour until the bell released them from the prison walls of the school building.
Pretty soon, I'll be able to see Axel, Roxas thought to himself, a slow smile crossing his lips, only to stop halfway. That was a lie. He hadn't actually seen or spoken to Axel since that night, when he suddenly stormed out on Roxas.
He had gone back the next day, hoping for some answers to the odd mood he had been in, but Axel was nowhere to be found, and would not respond to Roxas' calls for the redhead.
Naminé was no help, either.
"He can't face you right now. It's too much for him," she had said softly, refusing to meet his questioning gaze.
"But how is it too much for him? I don't understand!"
It was frustrating, knowing that she knew everything that was going on, but still chose to withhold precious information. Did she even know what this was like, to have your thoughts consumed by this presence of a vampire, and have him around you, but not within your reach at the same time? He would surely go mad by the end of the week, if Axel kept this up.
"You are not meant to understand it yet, Roxas. Just give him some time, and everything will become clear."
Her cryptic manner of speaking had almost become too much for him during the week, when he was forced to spend his nights around her in the mansion, waiting for Axel to leave his room.
Of course, Axel never showed himself, and Roxas was resigned to having to leave, in fear of another lecture from his mother. He had told her he'd be staying at Naminé's, but since the last episode where he hadn't returned, his mother found it important that he come home before ten o' clock on a school night.
Which was why Roxas was particularly excited for tonight, since it was Friday, and therefore the beginning of the weekend.
According to his mother, he could stay out as late as he wanted, as long as he checked in with his mother to let her know if he would be home or not. He planned to use all night trying to get to Axel, even if he had to pick at the lock on the door that blocked them until sunrise.
A loud, shrill ring echoed throughout the room and hallways, signaling the end of class. Hurriedly, Roxas shoved his books into his backpack and pushed his way through the crowd of people trying to get out of the room. There were some grunts and shouts directed at him, and he even thought he felt someone try to grab him, but he paid them no mind. He was a man on a mission, and nothing was going to stop him!
…Except for two pairs of hands that each grabbed him by the arms and shoulder, dragging him in the opposite direction, and further away from Axel.
"Hey! What do you think you're doing?"
"We're forcing you to spend some time with us, Mr. I-Always-Have-Some-Lame-Excuse!"
"Hayner?"
Turning his head as far to his right as he was able to in his position, he could make out the wavy dark blond hair of his best friend. As if on cue, Hayner glanced back at him, giving him a cold look, before rolling his eyes and staring straight forward again.
To his left was Pence, he assumed, and tried to find out by glancing that way. Sure enough, he could see the black hair and feel the chunkier hands that were gripping him tightly. Why were they grabbing him so roughly? If they would have just asked—
Well, if they would have just asked, he probably would have said no and rushed off.
Sighing, he accepted his fate and moved his feet in compliance with their quick speed, making the travel easier for all parties. Olette came into his vision then, giving him a concerned and sad smile.
"You used to like hanging out with us, Roxas. Now you go out of your way to make sure you aren't with us."
"That's not it, I—"
"You what?" Hayner interrupted, the grip on Roxas' arm tightening painfully. "You can't admit it, can you? If you don't want to be friends with us, just let us know already! Clearly you've got more important things to do than hang around with us! You haven't been the same since your birthday, man."
They had finally stopped at the entry gate into their hideout, and Roxas rubbed where they had just let go of his arms soothingly. The guilt coursing through him did nothing to make him feel better, and he really didn't want to face them right now.
That was a pretty impossible thing to want, since the three of them were standing in front of him, blocking any path he might use to leave. What did they expect from him? He had no real answer he could give them, since he was pretty sure Axel didn't want them knowing about vampires and spreading it through the town.
"I know," he sighed, shuffling his feet anxiously. "I just haven't had the time, you know? I've just been really busy lately, and I'm sorry. It's not that I don't want to hang out with you guys, because I do. We're still friends, right?"
He looked up hopefully, knowing that if he added a bit of pitiful to his look, they'd be more willing to drop the subject and let it go. They didn't take the bait right away, and he tried adding a bit of pathetic, too, just for the heck of it.
"Agh," Hayner groaned, scratching his head and looking anywhere but at Roxas. "You know I hate it when you give us that look!"
Olette giggled and nodded in agreement with Hayner. "He's right; we just can't stay mad at you when you look like a sad puppy who can't find his way home."
"Yeah, Roxas, c'mon. You know we forgive you!"
He chuckled, leaning in to pull them all into a group hug. They complied, and couldn't help but burst out laughing, before heading through the fence and into their usual spot.
This is fine, Roxas thought before heading in. I'll just hang out for an hour or so and then go to the mansion.
-
Apparently, Roxas had forgotten that time spent with his friends tended to go by too quickly.
Five hours of competitions, scary stories, and ice cream later, Roxas was rushing to the hole in the wall at on the other side of town. He quickly maneuvered his way through the well-known woods and past the mansion gate, before stepping into the oversized home.
Naminé was not there to greet him like she normally was, and he didn't blame her for not being there. Roxas had never come later than four, and it was already nearing eight-thirty according to his phone. Sliding his backpack off of his shoulders, he gently set it on one of the small tables along the wall like he normally did, before heading towards the stairs in the dimly lit mansion.
The somewhat hidden door was cracked open a tiny bit, allowing the slim strip of light to shine through the crack and onto the darkened staircase. Behind it, Roxas could hear the low murmur of voices talking at too quick a pace for him to figure out.
He knew the layout of the room on the other side. There was a large room filled with couches and various trinkets, and from what he could remember, nothing really faced the door. If he pushed it a bit more, he'd possibly be able to understand them better.
Leaning closer, he nudged the door lightly with his hand, thankful it was nothing like the creaky door at his house that always gave him away when he snuck in late. The voices were louder, but still talking quickly. Who was in there?
Perhaps Naminé had family visiting?
If she did, it would be rude to listen in on the conversation. Taking a step back rightfully and shutting the door silently, he was prepared to turn around and go find another place to wait for Naminé when Axel's voice loudly soared above the others.
"I can't believe you let them get that idiotic idea in their heads!"
Roxas froze mid-step, his heart thumping at the sound of the angry, but charming voice from the other room. Spinning in his spot, he rushed back over to the door, his hand reaching for the expensive handle.
His hand never reached the knob though, and before he knew it, he was being held in a firm grip, his arms crossed over his chest in an 'X'. The body behind him was slightly smaller than him, but so rigid and tense that he felt as though he was up against a brick wall. Though he didn't want to panic, struggling was the only option that came to his mind, and he twisted his body against the other, trying to push them off.
Nothing worked, not even the kick to the knee, and he felt hopeless against whoever—or whatever—as a low growl resonated from behind. The rumble vibrated against his back, sending shivers up his spine like cold ice water running down his body would.
"So we meet again, Roxas," came the hiss from behind him.
"Who are you?"
"I figured you wouldn't remember, seeing as you barely survived."
Fear slithered through his stomach and body, coming through his mouth in the form of a whimper. He didn't know who this was, but from what he could tell, it was a girl and she was really mad at him. Or something.
"I don't know what you're talking about. Let me go!"
The struggling only seemed to anger her, and she crushed Roxas closer, his bones cracking in a protesting whine to the torture they were being put through. It hurt, and only seemed to get worse with each passing second.
"Shut up," she ordered, her arms squeezing him in a sudden movement that was fast and barely noticeable, if Roxas' lungs hadn't felt the need to suddenly expel the air inside of them. "It's your fault that I'm like this, and I will make you pay if it's the last thing I do."
"I will make sure that never happens," was the response that was so close to his ear that he would have jumped in surprise if he wasn't confined.
Thankfully, the menacing voice that Roxas immediately noted was Axel's had scared the girl into releasing him instantly. His body sagged in relief, and he could tell he'd have some bruises later, but thankfully nothing had been broken. Without even thinking, and barely being able to see with the lack of lighting and appearance of white dots swimming along the edge of his vision, Roxas ran over to Axel. His arms slid around the slender, but muscled waist of his vampire lover, and in return those strong, comforting arms held him close.
It was an amazing feeling to finally be next to Axel, and it reminded him of the time he tried fasting for a couple of days, only to succumb to the delicious food he encountered one evening in the kitchen. He had been so starved, that anything he offered his stomach tasted like the best thing he had ever eaten before. This was that same sensation, only Axel wasn't food, and Roxas wasn't purposely starving himself.
Inhaling large quantities of air to replenish his lungs, he admired the sweet scent that was purely Axel, and dug his nose into the inviting chest, his eyes closing of their own accord. He felt extremely tired now, the fear that had made him wide-eyed and afraid had been sucked out of him by Axel's soothing fingers curling through his hair.
Had he continued on his train of thought about how wonderful Axel was, he would have entirely missed the conversation going on above him.
"—belongs to me! That life was mine!"
"You're delusional if you think it's going to work out that way. That was your own doing," Axel's eyes were narrowed so far in to slits that Roxas could barely make out the dark green hues.
The aura that the vampire radiated was so intense, and powerful, and he knew now why people could be so intimidated by these creatures. They were deadly, creatures of the night that stealthily took their prey with little notice. If Roxas didn't feel so secure in the arms of the redhead, he was sure he'd be a crumpled heap on the floor, begging for his life right now. He shook his head quickly, trying to wash away the ridiculous image from his mind.
Axel must have felt his movement and glanced down at him, worry apparent on his beautiful face.
"Demyx," he called softly, his eyes never leaving Roxas.
"Yeah?" A hesitant voice from behind him replied. Roxas wanted to look back, but the trance he was in, staring at Axel, was not something he was going to give up.
It wasn't until he felt cold fingers grabbed him by the sides did he look away. Axel released his hold on him, and surrendered Roxas to this new figure that was hopefully not a threat. The man hoisted Roxas up, holding him like someone would hold a child, and it was actually rather uncomfortable. He wasn't some little kid! Why was this man even taking him away?
A trip up the stairs, and a warm room later, Roxas was sitting in one of the plush couches he had seen around the house. It was every bit as comfortable as it looked, and he was very pleased to find out this new information.
The man, a tall, cheerful looking guy with dirty blond hair was staring at him curiously, brows furrowed as he watched Roxas. It was a bit disconcerting to be observed so intently.
"Why did you bring me here?"
"Axel asked me to," he replied obviously. Though Roxas didn't actually remember hearing that request from Axel's lips, he gave Demyx the benefit of the doubt. After all, Axel wouldn't let Demyx run away with him.
…At least he hoped so.
"Why?"
Demyx chuckled darkly. "Because he obviously needed to talk to Xion."
"Xion?"
"She was the girl in there, the one who attacked you."
Roxas nodded, though he couldn't put a face to the name. So her name was Xion, she was a vampire, and apparently Roxas had done something to anger her. "Why did she want to hurt me?" He asked, figuring it easier to ask Demyx straight out than come up with his own twisted ideas on the situation.
But his companion didn't answer for quite some time. He remained still, looking over at Roxas with an inquisitive eye.
"It's amazing," he finally replied in wonder, his face inching closer to Roxas as though he were inspecting something, his eyes squinted. "Everyone thought you were a goner. But you're right here!"
"Everyone thought I was…dead?" What the heck was this guy on about? Roxas had never been put into a life-threatening situation until he met Axel! "What do you mean?"
Eyes wider than before, Demyx gave him a calculating look, something Roxas was wondering if he was practicing for the hell of it, or if he was normally this questioning. He wasn't prepared for the laugh and slight shaking of the Demyx's head, his hair falling out of place at the sides.
"You don't remember anything." It was a statement, and Roxas could only nod his head in confirmation. "Oh, this is too rich. I mean, we figured there were some setbacks, but wow."
Sighing in frustration, Roxas angrily asked, "What are you talking about?"
"Oh, nothing. If Axel hasn't spoken to you about it, then it shouldn't be my duty to."
Roxas wanted to wipe that cheeky grin off his face, or punch out a few of those sparkly white sharp teeth. Thankfully for Demyx, Axel chose that time to rush into the room, his arms pulling Roxas out of the chair and into his arms faster than was humanly possible.
"Are you alright?" He murmured into Roxas' sandy colored hair. A sigh of relief blew across Roxas' neck once he had nodded that he was alright, and a tingly sensations spread through him.
Slowly and hesitantly, as though he didn't want to let Roxas go, Axel lowered the younger male back onto the couch and sat beside him. Roxas watched him carefully, wondering how to go about asking Axel all the questions he suddenly had now, thanks to—
Whipping his head around, he realized that Demyx must have snuck out sometime during the short exchange between he and Axel. This action seemed to alarm Axel, and the redhead probably suspected he was still afraid that Xion was around, waiting to attack. He slid his palm against Roxas' cheek, turning his face back around. Deep green hues were staring at him worriedly, and he wanted to correct Axel, to let him know he wasn't that afraid of Xion for some reason, but he decided to let it go. After all, if it meant finally being able to see the vampire, and be touched by him, then he'd throw himself in Xion's way every day.
"Don't worry, nobody's going to come after you. Not while I'm around."
The gentle caress against his cheek turned into a stroke along his neck and the worried expression on Axel's face morphed into one of complete adoration. His heart seemed to jolt to like a car engine that roared to life, and Axel was the key to starting the ignition.
School did not prepare Roxas for what his overly hormonal teenage body would do when given a situation such as this, after a week of sexual repression.
Axel's cool fingertips sliding slowly along his neck in an up-down pattern triggered something deep in his stomach, and without thinking his actions through, he leaned forward quickly.
As though the vampire hadn't expected it (though Roxas knew that his actions were much slower than that of a vampires, and Axel had to have known what was going to happen), he remained still and unresponsive, feigning shock, Roxas was sure. The false shock from Axel, and the lack of reaction only spurred him on.
Defiance was pouring through him like a warm drink, invoking this new sexually confident persona he had, hidden way beneath the shy and inexperienced boy that he normally showed. It was liberating, scary, and so very fun.
Pulling his head back a few inches, he stared at Axel, so close that everything but his eyes, tattoos, and the bridge of his nose was blurry or not visible. Though he expected to find legitimate surprise, since Roxas sure as hell felt surprised himself, those dazzling eyes held nothing but mirth and lust. He pushed away from the redhead some more, a puzzled look now drawing over his own features, and he stared scrutinizing at Axel to make sure that this was really him.
Spiky red hair, check. Intense green eyes, check. Pale skin and sharp teeth, check.
Before he could think more on the matter, he was pinned to the seat of the couch, Axel's body pressed flat against his.
He couldn't stop the grin from making its way to his lips, and Axel seemed determined to kiss it off. Not wanting to be the one to lose, Roxas fought back with his tongue, swirling it around Axel's and sucking on it enticingly. A low sound traveled through Axel and into Roxas, bringing with it a heat that burned his body wherever Axel touched. Surely he would catch on fire eventually, but for now it only aroused him even more.
Using all of the power he could muster up, which he knew wouldn't be enough to honestly go against a vampire, he attempted to switch their positions. The vampire was either too lost in Roxas' mouth, or decided to humor him, because he found himself sitting on top of Axel's stomach a few seconds later, a victorious smile forcing him to part from Axel's mouth.
Like he had seen a few times before, the green of Axel's eyes were bright and swirling. It was beautiful and breathtaking, something he was sure should be classified as a wonder of the world. Those expressive eyes drew him in, and he placed a soft kiss against Axel's dark pink lips, his hands sliding along the smooth skin of the vampire's neck.
Leaning up into the kiss, Axel slid his hands around Roxas' hips, slowly making their trip up the lithe body above him underneath the layers of clothes the smaller man wore. The feeling of Axel's fingers ghosting across his back brought back that assertive being inside of him, and he turned his head, choosing to put his lips to good use and kiss a trail down the distinct jawbone, and along the exquisite neck. His skin was surprisingly soft, and Roxas decided to test a theory.
Opening his mouth, he slipped his tongue out to taste the flesh, drawing a shudder from the vampire beneath him. However, he didn't stop there, and his lips closed over the skin, sucking and nipping marks as he went. So far, it seemed to go as he expected, and Axel was obviously aroused. Taking it another step further, Roxas pulled back to stare at the skin, marked lightly with little reddish marks, before he chose his spot and leaned down to sink his teeth into the harder-than-human skin.
He didn't expect to actually pierce the skin, so when the most he did was cause deep indentations of his teeth and an excitingly loud moan of his name from Axel, he was pleased beyond belief. It seemed that the neck biting could go both ways, since the redhead seemed to have enjoyed it.
Fingers curled through his hair, tugging his head upwards quickly, albeit a little painfully, and he took notice of the glazed look that was covering Axel's vivid eyes. His head was pushed down and their lips came together in a rough, desperate kiss.
The emotions pouring through Axel's mouth was intense, and he loved it. Keeping their lips connected and steamy kiss intact, Roxas scooted his body lower down Axel's body. When his denim-covered erection brushed against the bulge in Axel's pants, he ceased all movements, his heart pounding heavily in his chest.
Slowly, carefully, he felt cold fingers on his hips, holding them in place. Opening his eyes, his lips no longer connected to Axel's, he stared at the other man in silence, waiting for the next move.
Pushing Roxas' hips down, Axel arched his body up and they met in glorious contact that was only lessened by the material blocking them from actually touching. Roxas wasn't sure, nor did he care, who moaned first, but when Axel continued to repeat the motion, he couldn't stop the loud panting and constant noises leaving his mouth.
It didn't matter if they were embarrassing, if Axel didn't mind (and he was sure he didn't, seeing as he was just as vocal), then he saw no problem.
After several long seconds of this torturously delicious sensation, Roxas decided he wanted more. He wanted to feel Axel's skin pressed tightly against his, he needed that contact. Fumbling hands moved to Axel's shirt, hastily undoing the buttons. With each button that unhooked, his lips kissed the toned, smooth chest. It seemed like forever until Roxas had finally finished with the last button, and he spread the shirt open wide, revealing that milky white body beneath it.
"Axel," Roxas' voice was breathless. He had no reasoning for why he called out to Axel, he just felt like it was the thing to do. They hadn't spoken since things got heated, not including the few times Axel had murmured his name in a moan. Was that normal?
Sensing the change in the mood around them, Axel shifted into a sitting position, Roxas still residing in his lap, but being careful not to move around too much.
"You okay, Roxas?"
He nodded slowly, tilting his head towards Axel's. Their lips met in a sweet kiss that was practically dripping with honey. The care with which Axel cradled his head, and slowly moved his lips against Roxas' seemed so much like most of the kisses they had shared at first, timid and careful. It was perfect, and at the same time somewhat sad. These mixed feelings inside of him were becoming very frustrating for him to handle, and Roxas had to pull away, resignedly resting his forehead on Axel's.
"Roxas, I know you don't remember," Axel whispered, the sweet aroma of his breath filling his nostrils and gliding across his face. "There are some memories I can't bring back for you, memories that were not hidden by my control."
The tone Axel spoke with was so dejected. Roxas wove his fingers into the silky red hair, hoping to soothe the pain that he knew Axel probably carried.
"I want you to remember, Roxas, so badly. You don't know how much I miss you, how much I miss the way things used to be."
"Then help me remember," he replied, just as quietly. "Do to me now, what you used to do to me then."
"Things were different then, we were under different circumstances."
"I don't care, try."
Axel watched him carefully, trying to find any trace of doubt, he was sure. But there was none. This was something Roxas wanted, he was certain of it. Perhaps if Axel tried to recreate certain things, it would prompt some sort of recollection inside of his mind.
Pulling him closer by pushing on the back of his neck, Axel started another session of heavy, intense kissing that made Roxas' body tingle, and limbs go weak. That part of him that had been so assertive and self-confident was still there, but now only a low hum of what it used to be. He was back now, the eighteen year-old who was unsure and inexperienced. But as long as Axel was willing to walk him through this—he took Axel's actions as a yes—then he had hope. This would all work out; it had to, because Roxas was not going stop trying until he had his memories back.
-
I've done a sex cliffhanger before, and probably disappointed some of you by the lack of sex in the chapter afterwards.. xD But if you keep checking back for the next chapter, you might actually get to see some! Though I must warn you, my sex scenes are probably crap. Hahaha...
Do you guys ever post your fanfictions anywhere else? I'm thinking I might try another site, as well, in case this whole thing with ffnet happens again.
As always...
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