Title: Be Still My Heart (Thou Hast Known Worse Than This)
Rating: M FOR MATURE! I mean it!
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, or make a profit off of this. Especially Naminé, Roxas, Axel, or vampires. Though if I did, this would be what they would do...
Warnings: Male x Male interactions, if you know what I mean. Vampires, blood, sexual scenes, foul language.
Notes and such: Sorry... That's all I have to say.
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Of all the feelings Roxas had experienced, carnal lust had never been one he could have added to his list. It was such an intense emotion that overcame him, as he stared up at Axel, those eyes swimming in that all-too-familiar way. The lust covered his vision in a foggy haze, and he was sure that had anyone been watching, the way his body was writhing beneath the redheads would have been highly embarrassing to watch.
But he was far beyond the point of embarrassment, and there was no chance of redemption for Roxas as he jumped cold-turkey into the icy pools of eroticism.
He must have done something right in a past life, he figured. Axel was quite obviously a magical being sent here from someone higher-up, specifically for him, to show Roxas such pleasure that he hadn't even known existed. There was no other explanation he was willing to believe.
With every flick, suck, and pinch of his nipples that Axel performed, a whimpering whine poured from his throat, coating every half-sentence with desire. The sounds he got in return from his partner flooded his mind, a giant wave hitting him and rendering him useless to all coherency, and the only sounds his ears were attuned to were those grunts and moans that made his body shudder.
Kisses trailed down his stomach slowly, the lips soft and perfect against his skin that was both overheated and cold at the same time, bringing with them sharp fingernails that grazed lightly along his stomach, causing his muscles to flex, and his lungs to fill with excess air. The action, if possible, aroused him even more, and add to that the wonderful things Axel was doing with his tongue and Roxas nearly came with a buck of his hips.
"Hold your horses, Rox," the redhead grinned smugly, sliding up the smaller boy's body to plant a purposely wet kiss on Roxas' cheek. "I know how hot and bothered you get when I do that, but save some for the main show, will ya?" The cocky voice in his ear was both enticing and irksome.
"Then get on with it, or I'll finish myself off, Ax," Roxas replied, though not as he had felt compelled to say it in his mind. Instead of the joking, confident voice he knew he should have said it with with, there was a confused lilt to his speech and it dragged out slowly, ruining the humorous effect it was supposed to have. Axel paused in his return to Roxas' neck, his lips pursing against the warmed flesh, and he lifted himself up to stare down into the wide blue eyes.
The heavy thumping of his pulse was slowly becoming more prominent in his head, irritating it in much the same way it had when he had remembered the other time he had been with Axel. Had he just recovered part of a memory? Axel must have wondered that as well, and he tried to push his mind more.
"Sex is always the answer, not masturbation," the redhead answered quietly, though having that same arrogant and joking tone.
Searching his mind for what his answer should have been, Roxas had to draw a blank because the pounding continued to grow worse with each second and he couldn't help but wince at the headache he had accumulated. Seeming to sense this, Axel leaned forward and pressed gentle kisses on both of his temples, before moving to his lips.
"It's a start," he murmured, and Roxas nodded, his headache diminishing much slower than it had arrived.
A wet, but confident tongue peeked out from Axel's lips to delve into Roxas' mouth, something which he could never complain about. Axel had been his first real kiss. Yeah, he had kissed a couple girls here and there, but they never lasted longer than a couple seconds, and never involved tongue. Despite his lack of honest experience, he felt like he had done this before, and the motions and movements just sort of happened.
Just like he sort of happened to pull Axel closer, an act that happened to make their erections rub harshly together. The redhead released a low moan, pulling away to stare down at Roxas' as he slid a cool hand down between them.
They had been naked, something Axel had completed in a matter of seconds earlier, and he had taken full advantage of that, sliding his body against Roxas' sensually. "Roxas, I want to—" the sultry voice in his ear cut off as Roxas decided to participate a little more in the action going on between their lower bodies. He wanted to give the redhead just as much pleasure as he was receiving, if not more. Being a writhing mess beneath him would not put him on the path, he was sure, no matter how inviting the situation seemed.
"Yes, go ahead." His voice came out in a shaky whisper, betraying the absolute certainty he had about giving himself to Axel. That was what was coming, he knew it, could feel it with every sense of him. Sex was the next step, and he would embrace it with open and welcoming arms, even if his body was still catching up.
Nearly glowing green eyes bored into his blue ones, holding his gaze for several long drawn out seconds. It was with surprise that Roxas realized Axel had actually been moving the whole time, slowly and sneakily, but assuredly. Fingers that had once been occupied with his stiff member were now languidly massaging the unusually sensitive skin around Roxas' hole. Axel was distracting him everywhere, the slow ministrations along that hidden flesh, the sweet smell of his vampire, the taste still lingering on his tongue and teeth. More importantly, those piercing hues that were searching him, delving into his soul, fishing around for something deeper inside of Roxas that he couldn't offer with words or touches.
A slick finger slid into him with ease—Roxas stopped questioning the vampire's ability to find and apply any sort of lubrication so quickly—and the intrusion was only that. He had been expecting pain, perhaps discomfort, anything. But all he could do was gasp at how cold Axel's fingers were, the drop in temperature seeming drastic to the excited skin around the digit. A second finger had Roxas whimpering softly into his palm, the appendage being used to attempt to block the pitiful sounds of satisfaction.
With deliberate slowness Axel moved his lips to the nearly healed skin of Roxas' neck. His tongue slid out to caress the flesh languidly as he continued to work his fingers, preparing the blond thoroughly. If Roxas' body wasn't trembling before, it sure was now. He could sense the way the soft lips parted and the protruding fangs took their spot, at the same time he felt the fingers leave him to be replaced with something bigger and rounder at his entrance. The anticipation was making his stomach twist uncomfortably, and for a hesitant moment he wanted to stop Axel, to tell him that maybe he wasn't ready for this and the moment was confusing him.
But then Axel moved so swiftly and graceful that Roxas couldn't concentrate on anything more but the intense pleasure and pain that shot through his body.
His body was being taken in more than one way, wholly and completely by the vampire. The sound that came from him was a strangled sort of moan, one that was produced from the desire to hiss out in discomfort and, well, just plain desire. Thankfully, Axel didn't move right away, letting him get accustomed to the foreign feeling of having someone—A vampire—inside of him.
Idly, he could sense the light touches across his stomach and chest, cool hands roaming the body they had just claimed in a sort of victory lap, but Roxas couldn't really pay much attention to anything else, because Axel decided that the few seconds he had waited was long enough of a time for adjustment. Roxas gasped loudly, his hips shifting automatically as he instinctively tried to squirm away from the stinging that shot through him from the retracting movement of Axel inside of him.
Understanding that the blond was not feeling so well physically, the redhead began to suck on Roxas' neck, the blood pooling into his mouth more forcefully unlike the gentle trickle it had been before. His tongue twisted around the savory taste, and Roxas let out a shaky breath. The craving for more was quickly rising within the younger male, much like it always did when Axel drew his blood like this.
No wonder everyone considered vampires to be sexual beings. In the books he had read growing up, there was always some poor woman who was lured in by the vampire, or fell for one, and once they had been bitten the yearning for physical contact often led to sex.
However, in those stories the women always died…
But Roxas was no woman, and he had faith that Axel wouldn't kill him.
After a particularly vigorous suck, Roxas' hips twitched up of their own accord, bringing Axel back into him quicker than he had yet to, producing along with it another surge of pain that was drastically a lot less intense than the first. The vampire groaned, his mouth pulling away from Roxas' neck to bury his face against his shoulder instead. Hands that had formerly been roaming his body were now gripping his hips tightly, almost enough to bruise.
"Roxas," Axel whispered huskily. "If you're going to insist on doing that, I can't guarantee I'll be able to hold back and go slow for you."
"Maybe I don't want it slow," he replied boldly, feeling that other part of him rising to the surface. Maybe he was bipolar, and Axel had awoken his other persona, a confident and cocky Roxas that he created to appease the vampire's sorrow. It seemed unlikely, but that's the only explanation he could think of as reasoning for the sudden change in attitude he was experiencing tonight. Would it be permanent?
Axel laughed at that, the sound twinkling in the air like fireflies he wanted to keep and save for when it was dark. It wasn't his fault that his heart soared at the sound, really. To know that he was the one who was able to make this beautiful vampire create a sound of joy, well, who would be able to keep their heart intact?
"I don't want to break you." It was said so softly into his skin that he was sure Axel hadn't meant for him to hear it. If he wasn't so hyperaware of anything, he probably wouldn't have.
Choosing to not respond, he pried the pale face away from his shoulder to stare into the intoxicating eyes. Axel was giving him that look again, the one that he was never sure how to react to because he knew that it meant so much more than just a look. With deliberate slowness, he tilted his head up, eyes closing, to press a delicate kiss on the tinted lips. Any other person would probably cringe or gag at the thought of kissing someone who was drinking their blood, but Roxas was a little embarrassed to admit it turned him on. The coppery tang when Axel opened his mouth to delve his tongue into Roxas' mouth was so unique, like a combination of them both that was more intense than what he was sure normal people experienced.
Now that he had the redhead—and himself, he'll admit—thoroughly distracted, he slipped his arms around the cool neck and moved his hips little by little. He heard Axel groan into his mouth and could practically feel the vibrations through his body. After a couple of times of forcing Axel to move in and out of him, the vampire took things into his own hands and held Roxas still.
The hands that were holding his hips in a firm hold were lessened to only one hand. The other, more sneaky than Roxas gave it credit for, was now circled carefully over his arousal. It surprised him, but it felt so good he didn't really mind. Low, breathy moans were nothing compared to the vocal sound he permitted when he felt his whole body shudder, and his toes curl with delight as Axel brushed against a spot inside of him.
"Axel," his half-whimper, half-moan sounded more like him in the morning when he was gurgling mouthwash than anything remotely sexual. If not for the tingly sensations overriding his body and mind, he didn't think he could have stared at the redhead with such a straight face. Well, as much of a straight face as he could have when he was biting down harshly on his lip, his back arching off the bed dramatically. "What was that?"
Instead of answering him, the vampire only responded physically, performing the action again, but more leisurely, drawing out the pleasure as Roxas howled loudly in satisfaction.
Hell, if this was why everyone liked sex so much, he was beginning to see the appeal.
It wasn't long before he felt the building of pressure low in his belly, waiting for release from its prison, with Axel pumping in an out of him in a rhythm that fit them together perfectly. He was gentle enough with Roxas, but not overly so that he left the blond restless and wanting. Everything combined with the distinct pain he could feel in his neck that signified the vampire was feeding again sent his mind into overdrive. The rush of everything flooding his body, the low rumble of Axel's vocal climax against his neck, and the blood spilling into his vampire's mouth in short but quick successions gave; it was all too much for him.
Everything seemed so surreal, and it was as if he was going through this all in slow motion, not reality, but not false either. That was what his life was in this moment, and this new high he was experiencing was too intense for someone like Roxas, who was barely an adult who'd had his life changed immeasurably.
This was too much for Roxas, who was only so human.
He sighed, staring forlornly at the dark black sky, the stars twinkling at him mockingly in return. "I wish we could see the sky during the day," the breath expelled from his mouth clouded in the air as a result of the cold.
A snort to his left took his attention away from the lights in the sky. "If you've seen it once, that's all you need. If I recall correctly, you've had 16 years worth of daylight."
"You know what I mean, Ax."
He watched the redhead recline against the side of the house, his arms being used as a pillow. Axel seemed to always find comfort in that position, though it always looked like he was leaving himself open to attack—vulnerable.
"I just would have liked to take you to Twilight Town for a day," he sighed.
"Where you grew up?"
He nodded, though his companion's eyes were firmly shut. "Yeah. There was a place called Sunset Terrace where it was said that the sunset looked most amazing."
"Did you ever see it?"
"No, it was a place for lovers. I never had one," a pause. "I would have liked to experience it once, with you. I'm sure it would have been magical."
Axel remained still for several long minutes, the silence comfortable—always comfortable—between them. The only response he received was a perked eyebrow, and he rolled his eyes, pushing the other in annoyance.
"You think it's stupid."
"That's not it, you big sap," Axel murmured smoothly into his ear as thin fingers wrapped around his wrist, pulling him against the lightly muscled body beneath the light blue shirt. Arms slid around his waist, and he instinctively curled into the body, his hand resting against the soft skin of Axel's chest. "I just don't believe in magic."
He laughed out at that, his face burying in Axel's shoulder as he tried to regain his composure.
"Now you think I'm stupid," was the indignant huff from his partner.
"You just have weird beliefs," he grinned. A rough poke in the side that he was intent on complaining about was long forgotten when Axel kissed him, and he could practically taste the sugar from how sweet it was.
"I believe in you, Rox," Axel murmured against his lips, deep green eyes boring into his own. "I believe in us."
"Now who's being a big sap?" Roxas chuckled, his fingers sliding along Axel's jawbone affectionately. "And good, I'm glad. Because I hope you know you're stuck with me. For now, for always."
Axel stared at him in mock horror, and Roxas rolled his eyes again, nudging the redhead with his shoulder. "Always," he whispered into Roxas' hair, pressing a chaste kiss in its wake.
Waking up to a moonlight filled room in a comfy bed with strong arms holding him close was more perfect than Roxas could have imagined.
Only, the memories of last night and the knowledge that he had passed out again when Axel and he performed anything sexual made his cheeks heat up. But he and Axel hadn't just done "anything sexual", they had actually had sex, something Roxas could honestly say he had never thought he would do. Of course he knew he'd have to do it someday, but it was never something he fantasized about or tried to pursue. Maybe he was just odd, which would explain his uncanny fainting spells a little.
"You faint far too often to be normal," was the sleepy reply, as though Axel had been reading his mind.
"I don't know why, I'm pretty sure I've never fainted before in my life, until I met you."
That melodic laughter rang in his ears again, and he shifted his body so that he could rest his head on his palm as he looked down at the vampire. Axel moved as well, relaxing his head against his arms behind his head on the pillow, and watched him serenely, a lazy smile on his face. He looked the epitome of comfortable, and Roxas couldn't help but smile in return.
"What time is it?"
"Too late and too early for you to be awake."
Roxas scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Well I guess I should just go back to sleep then," he announced dramatically before pretending to be asleep. He felt Axel pull him closer, and his stomach fluttered when he realized how well they fit against each other.
"Last night was—"
"Magical," Roxas blurted out, interrupting anything Axel was going to say.
He could feel Axel stiffen slightly, and he glanced up, wondering if maybe Axel didn't find the whole experience quite as wonderful as he did. Brows furrowed and his gaze questioning, Axel stared down at him in obvious surprise. His voice was soft as he whispered, "Magical?"
For a moment Roxas wasn't sure if he was supposed to respond. Had he said something wrong? He vocalized his fear, and Axel's features immediately softened.
"No, you're absolutely right. It was very 'magical'," he murmured as he placed a kiss against Roxas' forehead.
Axel seemed to hold him tighter after that. Though he enjoyed very much being surrounded by that enthralling scent and body, he couldn't help but feel like the whole atmosphere had changed from playful and lovely, to precious and careful.
"Hello?" Roxas flipped his phone open, not bothering to check the caller ID.
"Roxas, honey," his mother cooed from the other line. Something about her tone made him feel uneasy and he gulped unintentionally before responding. "I was thinking you should invite Naminé over for dinner tonight."
"Why?"
"Well why not? I mean you're over there every day, I figured it would be nice meeting your girlfriend!"
Girlfriend? Is that what she really thinks?
Of course she would think that. Roxas had never given her details about why he went to Naminé's or what they did, only that he stayed there late and visited far too frequently. But he couldn't exactly tell her he was sleeping with the vampire who lived in Naminé's house, and was significantly older than him by hundreds of years.
Great dinner table conversation, I'm sure.
"Mom, she's probably busy. Plus she won't want to come to dinner with us."
"Why not?" His mother sulked, and he could tell she was already jumping to the conclusion that Naminé didn't like his family, or mother, or something equally untrue.
"I'll ask, but I make no guarantees!"
Her somber mood broke instantly, and she made a pleased sound into the receiver. "Okay dear, do your best! Be here at five-thirty! Love you!"
"Love you, too," he sighed, snapping his phone shut.
"Was that your mother?"Naminé poked her head out from behind her sketchpad to watch him. He nodded and she smiled, setting the thick pad on the table in front of her. Though she didn't verbally ask the question, Roxas could tell she was waiting for a recap of what was said on the phone.
"She wants you to come over for dinner tonight."
"It would be nice to not have to cook."
Since she had agreed so readily to the dinner request, Roxas tried to dissuade her by adding in something he hoped would work. "She thinks you're my girlfriend."
"You shouldn't lie to your mother," she frowned.
"I never told her you were, she just never let me say otherwise."
"Keeping the truth from someone is just as bad as telling a lie."
"Well I'll tell her tonight."Naminé didn't respond, but gave Roxas a look that clearly meant he better do as he said or else.
When he woke up for the second time this morning, he had been alone, and the sun had been shining brightly in his face, and filled up the room with authentic light. Before he met Axel, Roxas probably would have considered it a great day and headed off right away to meet his friends and play in the sun. Without Axel around though, he could only glare scornfully at the sun, knowing that it was the only reason his Godly redhead wasn't with him.
On his way downstairs, he had run into Naminé who had insisted he eat lunch with her, since he had already woken up too late for breakfast. His stomach always being the one to decide on whether food was a good idea at the time or not had agreed favorably and Roxas willingly, albeit a little morosely, followed her to the dining room.
Feeling a little guilty that he hadn't spent any time with her the day before, what with the incident with Xion, and then the incredible night with Axel, he decided that he would spend some of his day with the fair-haired girl. Naminé had never been too big on showing much emotion aside from the basic ones, and even those were subdued, so when she gave him a broad smile and hurriedly pulled him by the hand into her drawing room, he knew he had done the right thing. He could always spend the rest of his day and night with Axel, but for now he would keep Naminé company.
He kind of felt sorry for her, in a way that someone feels sorry for a puppy that gets separated from its mother. She had no family that Roxas knew of, and her only company was a vampire that had been ready to kill her. School was never something they talked about, except for when Roxas brought up his school life, so he was positive she spent all of her time indoors, except for the occasional grocery run. With only one person to feed, she probably didn't have to go often.
"Naminé?"
She had resumed her drawing, a picture with a dark-haired girl in a black outfit, and a glowing bottle or something, and looked up when her name was called. "Yes, Roxas?"
"What do you do every day?"
Her gaze turned confused, and she looked around her room obviously, as if there was anything else she would be doing. "What do you mean?"
"I mean," he hesitated, wondering if he was being rude by prying. "Don't you go outside, or have friends you hang out with? Do you spend all your time in here?" An awkward silence filled the room, to Roxas at least. She remained quiet, not quite sure how to answer, until she gave a small shake of her head.
"I've been homeschooled since I was a little girl, so I never really got to understand how people socialize with one another in an informal way. Friends were never really an option, because I was teased a lot growing up by the peers I did know, for trivial things. I've just never really seen the need to go outside, other than for apparent reasons, like grocery shopping, or if it's for art. I have everything I need in here." She nodded resolutely to herself and returned to her drawing, the colored pencil scratching against the thick paper.
Thankfully the awkwardness between them after that didn't last long, and they drew in a companionable quiet. It's not that Roxas was actually good at drawing, but when he was around Naminé he felt more creative, and would end up doodling something or other, so Naminé had graciously given him one of her unused books.
Time seemed to pass quickly, and before long it was already five in the afternoon. Hurriedly, they put their things away and headed towards the door under the stairs that led to the underground rooms where the sunlight couldn't reach.
Naminé chose to wait in the small living area while Roxas made his way to Axel's room. The lights were on, but Axel lay on the bed, appearing to be in a deep sleep. Smirking to himself, he ran across the wooden floor and pounced.
Unfortunately, with his vampire reflexes Axel was able to catch Roxas in midair. Those long slender fingers on Roxas' torso wiggled intentionally, and the blond squirmed in a pathetic attempt to free himself from the attack. "Don't — tickle — me!" He managed to get out through his gasps and laughter. The vampire obeyed, and instead settled for bending down to pull Roxas into a fervent kiss.
"I thought you would be here earlier."
Once he recovered from the blush and desire, he flashed Axel an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I felt bad for not spending time with Naminé yesterday, and then we lost track of time…"
"That's fine, at least I have you all to myself now," he nudged his nose into the crook of Roxas' neck, inhaling deeply.
"Actually," Roxas suppressed the urges coming into his mind now. His mother and Naminé were waiting for him, surely they wouldn't appreciate being stood up. "Naminé and I are going to my house right now. My mother invited her to dinner tonight."
Axel sat up, staring at him with wide, unbelieving eyes.
"Why?"
"She, er, thinks Naminé's my girlfriend."
"Tch," Axel shook his head, staring off to the side of the room. "Where did she get a silly notion like that?"
Did he seriously not see how she could have come to that conclusion? "I do spend every day over here, Axel," he reasoned. "My mother doesn't know about you and I, or even that you exist. All she knows is that Naminé lives here, and that she's a girl. What else would she think?"
"Be careful," Axel warned suddenly.
"Axel, it's fine, I'm going to tell her that she's got it all wrong when we get there." Really, he didn't need to think of Naminé as competition, if that's what he was getting at.
"On your way there, be careful. It's still daylight, so I can't escort you guys. As you saw, I'm not the only vampire around here right now. Just go and come as quickly as you can, alright?"
He nodded, not seeing what the big deal was, since if he couldn't walk through the sun, then neither could the other vampires. This didn't seem to appease Axel, but he accepted it, bringing Roxas into a hug that was followed by a slow, drawn out kiss in what Roxas was sure was an attempt to bribe him to stay.
The fact that Axel couldn't go with him and Naminé seemed to really be bothering the redhead. After finally saying goodbye, he and Naminé left the mansion, the sun still in the sky and casting an orange glow on the Earth. Hopefully his mother didn't badger them too much about why they weren't dating, like he was anticipating. He might end up spilling about Axel, and that would only cause problems for them.
"Ready?" Naminé asked softly, her voice carried by the light breeze in the air.
"We don't really have a choice. I just hope she doesn't freak out on us too much."
The girl laughed quietly, but gave Roxas a knowing look, before grabbing his hand and leading the way through the woods.
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This chapter embarrasses me...
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